--
Brutus: You killed him.
Petra: *shrugs* He died of natural causes.
Emory: *looks at the corpse* Knife to the neck.
Brutus: I thought you said he died of natural causes.
Petra: There's nothing more natural than dying from a knife to the neck.
Devon: *nods* Yeah, what would be unnatural is if he survived.
--
Callista: Never forget; being 'overdressed' is a concept made up by the people who don't want you to look better than them.
Nero: You're literally wearing an expensive wedding gown covered with blood right now.
Nero: Calli, we are at Lina's funeral.
Callista: And??? It's great metaphor.
--
Lyme: What's that?
Claudius: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's privte information through a letter.
Lyme, looking over Claudius' shoulder" This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.
--
Adessa, at 3 am, in the village group chat: Apparently a blue whale's anus can stretch to approximately three and a half feet, making it the second largest asshole on the planet--just behind the Victors who stepped on my rose bushes yet again.
Iris:
Odin:
Hera:
Brutus:
Misha: Morning to you too :)
--
Lyme: Excuse you, I'm an excellent driver.
Nero: You almost ran over Enobaria by accident.
Lyme: Oh.
Lyme: I didn't get her? Damn it!
--
*at a zoo*
Misha: What are they in for?
Emory: This isn't a prison.
Misha: So they can leave whenever they want to.
Emory: Well no, but-
Devon, pointing at a meerkt: I bet that one killed half a dozen.
Misha, trying to jump the fence: I'M JUST LIKE YOU LITTLE GUY!!! I'LL SET YOU FREE.
*people staring*
Emory: ...and this is why we can't have nice Victor-outings.
--
Nero: Is that my sweater?
Enobaria: It used to be.
--
Hera, looking at a broken window: I hope you have an explation for this.
Callista: I have three.
Callista: Pick your favourite.
--
Lyme: *choking*
Claudius: Help! I need to call 911 but the 9 button is not working.
Misha: Just turn it upside down and use the 6!
Claudius: Genius!
Lyme, stops choking momentarily: wHAT THE HELL!?
--
Ronan: I thought of you today.
Snow: How very nice of you.
Ronan: It reminded me to throw out the garbage.
--
And now my old time favourites...
--
Callista: I'm tired.
Nero: Well, you can do the S-word.
Callista: *gasps* You're a genius.
Nero: *realizes his mistake* Calli, no-
Nero: The S-word is sleep.
--
Luna: What's that?
Odin: Adessa just gave me a get well soon card.
Luna: Ah, that's sweet of her.
Odin: I'm not sick, she just thinks I can do better when it comes to politics.
--
Misha: On halloween we dress up as our skeletons, but every other day of the year, out skeletons dresses up like us.
--
Misha: Why do people who use baby changing stations always come back with the same baby?
Emory: Remind me to never let you babysit for anyone ever.
--
Callista: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?
Callista: I want to make him an outlier tribute. Once he is free of his fluffy, innocent and ignorant flesh, he may be long time lovers with insanity. He won't dare to leave me like others did.
Hera: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.
--
Summary: The story of Alinta, tribute of the 50th Hunger games.
Iris: I have issues.
Ronan: Finally, you admit it! The first step to feel better about yourself is accept-
Iris: With you.
Honestly, same.
Misha: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
Emory: I wake up at 4:30 AM
Misha:
Misha: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives
Odin: A fly went to my ear! It's going to eat my brain!
Adessa: It will starve.
……….
That’s it… that’s the post…do I even NEED to say anything?
Nero, texting: Hey do you like anyone?
Callista: Yeah you
Nero: No, we are bestriends-
Callista: Sorry darling it was supposed to be; yeah, you
Nero: Oh, ok
Nero: *dies inside*
Callista: You kill people for money!?
Assassin!Adessa: I can explain!
Callista: And all this time I have been doing it for free like a chump!
Chubs: * teaching geometry* Is this a triangle?
Liam: Yes.
Chubs: How do you know?
Liam: What??
Chubs: PROVE that it's a triangle.
Liam: *voice weavering* Bro just look at it-
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