I Don't Take Credit

I don't take credit

dialogue prompts

New Year, New Prompt List!

well, sort of. last year, I started writing down the weird or funny shit people said around me and that I occasionally contributed to and turned it into a prompt list, and since it's a new year, I figured what better way to celebrate? you know the drill, send in a number and a ship/dynamic/character, or reblog this and have fun!

(btw this is college prompts pt. 3, second year fall semester edition. the first two lists from this series are here and here)

have a good 2022 folks,I can't wait to see what you come up with

“Hey, can we get a fish?” “We don’t have room for a fish.”

“Look, I didn’t believe you were a heavy sleeper until I didn’t realize you were asleep and I accidentally slammed the door and you didn’t even move.”

“That man looks and sounds like Bill Nye the Science Guy.”

“Sorry I’m wearing a tuxedo shirt, I was doing close up magic earlier.”

“Yeah, I have a pigeon. She’s an asshole.”

“As long as it doesn’t catch on fire, you can have it, and if it does catch on fire, that’s none of my business.”

“My astronomy professor gave us dating advice.” “Is it good dating advice?” “I don’t know, do you want to go watch a meteor shower with me?”

“There’s a stop sign on that door.” “Yeah, the people who live there stole it.”

“I just heard a girl yell ‘stop’ at a guy squeaking his shoes and I am 80% sure they don’t know each other.”

“It ‘hit different’ as the kids say.”

“I’m going to murder Plato.” “Plato’s dead.” “You say that like it’ll stop me.”

“No, shut the fuck up. Did you just call me Nicholas Cage?”

“Who just casually speaks Russian? For what reason?”

“Don’t look at me like that.” “It’s 80 degrees and you’re wearing a sweatshirt.” “I run cold!”

“Okay so-” “Ooh they’re about to get into it.” “I'm ignoring you. Okay SO-”

“You ever have a dream so good you wake up with a low blood sugar?”

“It’s 40°, why do you have a fan running?” “The noise.” “You’re getting a noise maker for Christmas. I can't do this anymore.”

“I’ve been lying through my teeth all week and I’m not happy about it.” “You can’t lie.” “I know.”

“He’s from Indiana.” “Do I look like I care?”

“Hey can I borrow this?” “Yeah, what for?” “You’ll see.” “Are you doing something illegal?” “… No?”

“Never have I ever driven a pickup truck.” “Did you just say get hit by a pickup truck?” “No, I’ve done that before.”

“Do you have an Instagram?” *obviously scrolling through Instagram* “No.”

“I just blew on a pencil with my mask on like that was going to do anything.”

“Were you a band kid? Or a choir kid maybe?” “Yeah, how did you know?” “You have this specific look in your eye, sort of like fear. It’s obvious to someone who’s been through the same thing.”

“Look, am I stupid? Yes. Is the guy I have a crush on somehow stupider? Yes.”

“Don’t eat peacocks.”

“Shit!” “Gosh darn it!” “Sorry!” “I’ve never actually heard you swear before.”

“If you say the word ‘buttress’ one more time, I’m going to throw you out of a window.”

“That’s not what an obelisk is, shut up.”

“No, I can’t do this, I know French, I can’t listen to this-“

“Did you just say ‘raw banana’?”

“Permission to hug?” “Granted.” “Oh fuck my ribs.”

“We all know Zuckerberg isn’t human.”

“Can I borrow your brain?”

“Um?” “Oh, sorry, yeah, I can pick up weaponry and learn how to use it really fast.” “UM???”

“I don’t think we realized how much you talk until you physically couldn’t. Please get your voice back, it's too quiet.”

“Hey, want to cause some chaos?” “Do you need to ask? Obviously.”

“You said you weren’t going to be gay, and then you were. Congratulations dumbass.”

“Look, I listened to a podcast about skinwalkers in the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep.” “Oh yeah, bad idea.”

“Where are you going?” “Evelavor’s haunted.” “What?” “ELEVATOR’S HAUNTED.”

A post for men about creepy men

I wrote a post a while back about how some people are very good at getting away with doing intentionally creepy things by passing themselves off as just ~awkward~.

Recently, I noticed a particular pattern that plays out. While creeps can be any gender, there’s a gendered pattern by which creepy men get other men to help them be creepy:

A guy runs over the boundaries of women constantly

He makes them very uncomfortable and creeped out

But he doesn’t do that to guys, and

He doesn’t talk to guys about it in an unambiguous way, and

When he does it in front of guys, he finds a way to make it look deniable

And then some women complain to a man, maybe even a man in charge who is supposed to be responsible for preventing abuse in a space

and he has no idea what they are talking about, since he’s never the target or witness

And he’s had a lot of pleasant interactions with that guy

So he sympathizes with him, and thinks he must mean well but be have trouble with social skills

And then takes no action to get him to stop or to protect women

And so the group stays a place that is safe for predatory men, but not for the women they target

For example:

Mary, Jill, and Susan: Bill, Bob’s been making all of us really uncomfortable. He’s been sitting way too close, making innuendo after everything we say, and making excuses to touch us.

Bill: Wow, I’m surprised to hear that. Bob’s a nice guy, but he’s a little awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. I’m not comfortable accusing him of something so serious from my position of authority.

What went wrong here?

Bill assumed that, if Bob was actually doing something wrong, he would have noticed.

Bill didn’t think he needed to listen to the women who were telling him about Bob’s creepy actions. He didn’t take seriously the possibility that they were right.

Bill assumed that women who were uncomfortable with Bob must be at fault; that they must be judging him too harshly or not understanding his awkwardness

Bill told women that he didn’t think that several women complaining about a guy was sufficient reason to think something was wrong

Bill assumed that innocently awkward men should not be confronted about inadvertantly creepy things they do, but rather women should shut up and let them be creepy

A rule of thumb for men:

If several women come to you saying that a man is being creepy towards them, assume that they are seeing something you aren’t

Listen to them about what they tell you

If you like the guy and have no idea what they’re talking about, that means that what he is doing is *not* innocent awkwardness.

If it was innocent awkwardness, he wouldn’t know how to hide it from other men

Men who are actually just awkward and bad at understanding boundaries also make *other men* uncomfortable

If a man is only making women uncomfortable but not men, that probably means he’s doing it on purpose

Take that possibility seriously, and listen to what women tell you about men

tl;dr If you are a man, other men in your circle who are nice to you are creepy towards women. Don’t assume that if something was wrong that you would have noticed; creepy men are good at finding the lines of what other men will tolerate. Listen to women. They know better than you do whether a man is being creepy and threatening towards women; if they think something is wrong, listen and find out why. Don’t tolerate give predatory dudes who are nice to you cover to keep hurting women.

80K notes View Post

h-m-i-a-n

1 year ago