Trying to start some toxic yuri shit with this mech pilot, but she's well adjusted and happily married. I called her my loyal dog and she filed an HR report fuuuuuuuuck
This is a friendly reminder that none disabled people often do benefit from the same accommodations disabled people benefit from.
elf girls, not associated with christmas elves (uncensored)
drew over something i wrote for a class and liked :] sorry the cars are lowkey ugly, its because I fucking hate cars and cant be bothered to learn what they look like beyond ominous hunks of metal
edit: transcript of the poem by itself under the cut
6 Tips for Crossing the Road
Look both ways
The road is for cars.
Make sure to look for them before crossing. Even when you have the right of way, cars have a lot of safety features and you have none.
Use designated crosswalks
The road is for cars.
So is the crosswalk but, under brief and temporary conditions, you can use it too! Never jaywalk, never walk in the road, just hope there is a clear and functional sidewalk.
Cross at the light
The road is for cars.
There are rules and signs for them, but that can only go so far. Walk quickly and hold your breath and hope that the light doesn't turn. Make eye contact with drivers as their cars teem with potential energy, rumbling with disdain at the inconvenience of your crossing. Try to ignore the cloud of exhaust that you are in and they are above.
Leash your pets
The road is for cars.
Obviously.
To you, it may be natural to sacrifice so much space to them but to your dog, it is not. His instinct is to explore freely. You must curb it. Modern US car models have such high hoods that the average child, let alone dog, is obscured. Even on the sidewalk, hold the leash tight because the sidewalk (if you are so blessed) is next to the street and the threat still looms.
Look out for road kill
The road is for cars.
And no one was there to leash the deer.
Or the raccoon.
Or the cat.
Did you know that the most reliable sample method for wildlife in an area is looking at the roadkill?
Remember these tips
The road is for cars.
Cars are everywhere. In the city. In the suburbs. In the country. In the woods (the US Forest Service manages more roads than the entire Ministry of Transit in China.) Cars are everywhere because there are roads to bring them there, which is great if you are a car and want to get from place to place fast without worrying about the in-between.
Unfortunately, you are not a car.
You are an animal.
You are in-between.
So remember to look both ways.
if parks and rec was still being made they’d do a bit where ron swanson has to wear a pronouns name tag and it’d just be “???/???” And it’d cut to a talking head of him going
“I’ve been a fool all this time. It’s bad enough the government knows my name, but now they want to know my gender? So I’m not letting them know my preferred pronouns. As far as I’m concerned, no one in this building should refer to me at all.”
good haibane
a professor told his class “consciousness doesnt exist. there are only neurons”
a student stood up “would you eat a raw egg and then drink oil and vinegar?”
“no” the professor replied.
“would you eat mayonnaise? perhaps on a sandwich or with some fries”
“of course” the professor replied, unsure of the purpose of this inquiry.
“mayonnaise is made from these very things and yet when combined, new properties arise.”
the professor was astounded. “what is your name?” he demanded
“shadow the hedgehog” said the student
You can replace [ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY] with [SCROLLING] but watch out. This sucks bad 👍
i was laying in bed and got mad that i needed to sleep instead of drawing so i got out of bed anyway to draw a gigi lmao