I Need Someone Who Is Funnier Than Me To Write A Fic About The Time Between When Steve And Robin Start

me, logging into ao3 5 minutes before bedtime: WAITER! bring me your finest enemies to lovers!

ao3 tag search function: excellent choice, sir! how would you like it cooked?

me: explicit. with a side of hurt/comfort

ao3: lovely! and may i suggest a drizzle of mutual pining?

me: of course, and can you add a spritz of angst? make it a 100k slowburn for good measure

ao3: coming right up, sir

me: thank you. oh, and waiter?

ao3: yes, sir?

me: make it gay

Robin : *Rolls over in bed and knees Steve in the ribs*

Steve : Ow! you kneed me!

Robin, sleepily : Yeah, i do need you...

Steve, voice cracking : Okay-

He's helping!

Not to be a slut or anything but can someone come lie on top of me and kiss me like you've needed to your whole life

You want them to be so fluffy it's disgusting, I want them so disgusting it's fluffy, we're not the same.

Robin and Billy making eye contact when meeting for the first time and he has his dangly earring in and she's wearing a tie

Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons

New York City, 1970s