Me When The Nerdy Prudes Are Dying

Reblog if you’re bored and you want anons.

alright so my brain is so fucking close to grabbing the rope and ending it so here's some note goals to help improve my state of mind

100 notes: ill drink some more water cause i barely drink it

200 notes: ill try to eat cause i haven't been recently

300 notes: ill try to be more honest with people

400 notes: ill do the writing ive been meaning to do

500 notes: ill try to fix my sleep schedule

600 notes: ill try to stop hurting myself

700 notes: ill try to remember to take my meds

1000 notes: ill try to talk to people about my problems

2000 notes: ill ask to go back to therapy

100000 notes: ill come out to my family and confront them for being bad people. (please don't reach this im scared)

spamming is allowed, only 3 tags per person

go nuts

some disventure camp sketches!!! (can you tell i desperately need jake to be happy lol)

working on some trevek art next so be prepared for that! i love them sm they’re so special to me

have a lovely day!

-lee :)

Reblog to give the person you reblogged from the ability to finish their WIPs

Jay is so, so tired.

He’s only vaguely aware of his surroundings, but he can hear a lot of raised voices. It’s different from the usual jeers and laughter of the pirates, their mocking cries cutting into him almost as effectively as their blades. No, this feels more… more urgent, he supposes. People are calling out orders, their voices commanding and loud. Blearily, he wonders what they’re talking about.

“...Vitals are weak but stable for now…”

“...Needs an IV, stat!”

“...Several open wounds, possible concussion…”

He slowly realizes that he’s moving. Well, not him. He’s lying on something (a bed maybe? No, it’s hard and painful) that is seemingly being wheeled along at a very quick pace. A strange mask is covering his nose and mouth, air gently pushing its way into his lungs. He knows what this is, knows he’s used one before, but his mind is so foggy he can’t recall where or when or why. 

“... Going into shock?”

“...n’t tell, conscious but unresponsive…”

“...Fuck.”

Well, that at least he could understand.

Jay tries to move his head, but a bright flash of pain stops him. Everything fucking hurts, but that fact is barely news at this point. After all, since the beginning of his imprisonment on the Misfortune’s Keep there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by without gaining a new injury or two. (Or ten, when Nadakhan’s really mad.)

He does his best to mentally shake off the fog, trying to figure out what’s going on. He… doesn’t think he’s on the Misfortune anymore - if he was still there, there would be absolutely no lying down like he’s doing now. He’d probably be back in the Scrap N’ Tap arena or cleaning the deck or (FSM forbid) in Nadakhan’s quarters. The djinn is scarily determined to deny him any rest until he physically can’t function without it - no doubt part of his plan to make Jay give up and wish.

“... Bones healed incorrectly…”

“... Emergency surgery…”

“...ay! Jay! Is he ok?”

Now that he’s thinking, the events before his unconsciousness begin to trickle in. He remembers, with a minute jolt, the rescue attempt. How his heart had filled with relief and joy knowing that his friends did care, that they wanted to rescue him despite his lies. How that hope had faded into despair when they were recaptured, and how Cole had nearly been forced to walk the plank.

He remembers the fight, remembers the pure euphoria of his powers singing once again, without the vengestone cuffs made to suppress them. He remembers, with a wince, his friends’ decision to use their wishes to give the fight an edge, and how Nadakhan had twisted their commands into something unhelpful or dangerous. 

He remembers losing Kai and Cole to the djinnblade, the fear and sorrow as Lloyd used his last wish to help him get away. To escape, alongside…

NYA!

Jay thrashes suddenly, a reaction that seems to surprise the strangers wheeling him around. Their voices rise as they stop and try to restrain him, but that only increases his determination to move. 

“... wrong with him?”

“... hold him down…”

“...ould we use anesthesia?”

He feels hands pinning his arms and legs to the metal slab, and his panic only grows. No, he has to leave, has to find Nya, has to know that she’s ok-

He’s sobbing, he thinks, if the sudden dampness on his face has anything to say. He hears gasps as he thrashes harder, because he has to tell them, make them understand-

He manages to free one of his arms and rips off the mask. He has to tell them so they’ll let him go.

“Nya,” He cries out, his voice giving way at the end from dehydration and exhaustion. “H-have to find- find Nya, please, please…”

The voices are only getting louder as he pleads with them. His hand is once again pinned down and he screams, because he doesn’t have time for this when Nya is gone.

“Please! I need her, w-where is she, where where where-”

No one is listening to him, no one is letting him leave, and he’s quickly losing his strength. An IV slips under his skin, and whatever is in it makes his vision double. They’re drugging him, he realizes, so that he’ll calm down. 

The thought just makes him panic more.

“Nya!” He sobs, as he stops fighting the many hands holding him down because he’s so tired, so very tired, “Nya, where are you? Please...”

“Jay!”

The familiar voice calms him down before he even realizes. He sucks in a breath, tears running down his face long forgotten as he stops and listens, hoping, praying he wasn’t imagining it-

And then a figure is shoving past the strangers and leaning over his resting space. Her eyes are the first thing he recognizes, familiarity flooding him despite his exhaustion. He knows these eyes - the amount of times he’s caught himself staring into them out of the blue is honestly embarrassing. The rest of her details come pouring in immediately after, trickling into his mind like the tide. A mole just above her top lip. The small scar across her cheek from a throwing star. Cropped black hair, falling into her face amid her disarray. He knows these details. He knows this face. He knows this person.

Nya stares down at him, her eyes shining with tears. “Jay, I’m here. I’m here, you have to calm down for me, please.”

And Jay calms down. Maybe it’s the drugs entering his system, or the pain and fear and exhaustion that have been following him for months, or maybe it’s just because it’s Nya telling him to, but it’s suddenly so easy to stop thrashing and crying. He has no reason to do so anymore, after all - Nya is here and she’s alright.

“... doctors are here to help, I promise. They won’t hurt you but you need to be sedated so they can administer emergency surgery.”

Her eyes are so pretty, Jay notices drowsily. Looking into them gives him the same feeling as staring into the ocean from the Destiny’s Bounty. Like her element, Nya’s eyes have been a deep cyan ever since she mastered her abilities. His eyes are blue as well, but they’re nothing special. Nya’s are blue like the rolling waves, blue like the sea during a storm. 

“...gave me permission to be with you during surgery, you don’t have to worry about me leaving- Jay? Are you ok?”

He’s crying again, not like earlier. Before Nya arrived, he had been sobbing violently. Now, though, tears just trickle down his face as he looks into her eyes.

“Missed you,” He chokes out, and Nya’s face collapses. Her expression is a mix of sorrow and concern and, to his horror, guilt.

“I’m so sorry,” and FSM she sounds close to tears. “Jay, I’m so sorry I let this happen. We should have gone after you, but I convinced the others you’d be fine, and it’s all my fault-”

Shit, shit, shit, how could she say that? He’s the one who should be sorry, he should be begging for her forgiveness. She’s so wrong, so very very wrong, and he has to let her know.

Despite the drowsiness now pushing him down, he shakily reaches out. Nya takes his hand, squeezing gently.

“Don’t blame you,” He murmurs, “Never did, please don’t cry…”

She sniffs gently before wiping her eyes with her free hand. “I’ll try not to,” she whispers. And it’s true, she doesn’t seem like she’s about to break down anymore, but she still looks sad and guilty and Jay would rather die right now than let that look be the last thing he sees before going under. The overhead lamps of the building they’re in (a hospital, he’s now fairly sure) form a crown of light around her head. Nya might be obviously exhausted, dirty, and injured from their fight on the Misfortune, but with the way her eyes shine and the halo surrounding her, she looks breathtaking. Almost like…

“Y’r like an angel,” he mumbles, stifling a yawn. He doesn’t know why out of everything he chose to tell her that - after all, she’s made it clear by now that she doesn’t feel the same way as him anymore. But it’s true, and he’d honestly say anything to make her less sad at this point.

Through his blurring vision, he’s able to make out the slightly bemused expression Nya gets. 

“...An angel? Why?”

“Saved me,” Jay slurs. He’s getting more and more exhausted by the minute but he shakes it off as much as he can to squeeze her hand and offer her a grin. (FSM, he hopes she’s not too put out by those missing teeth.) “Came back and rescued me. Y’r my guardian angel now.”

Nya sucks in a breath. “All of us wanted to save you, Jay. I’m not special.”

“Y’ are, though. N’dakhan wanted you, but y’ still came. Brave.”

His eyes are closing again, so he can’t see Nya’s expression anymore, but she squeezes his hand back. 

“‘M sorry for ev’rything. Y’re an amazing ninja. Fans… fans are stupid. I was stupid. S’rry.”

A wet chuckle from above him.

“Thank you, Jay. That… that means a lot.”

He wants to say more, but Nya’s talking again before he can.

“I think this conversation should wait until you’re not about to fall asleep,” she says, and Jay’s relieved to hear the tone of voice that she only gets when smiling, “but for now, you need to relax. You’re about to go into surgery.”

Now that she mentions it, the stretcher (it’s a stretcher, he remembers now) had stopped moving a little while ago. The strangers - no, doctors - are bustling around the room, preparing for an operation. The thought makes him a little queasy (he’s never liked surgery, and knowing how fucked up his body is right now this one’s definitely gonna be invasive) but he doesn’t feel as scared as he would usually. Not with Nya here.

His eyes are glued shut, and fighting off the sweet tug of sleep is no longer working. He whines and holds Nya’s hand tighter. 

“Don’t leave…” he whispers.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sparky.”

He sighs contentedly at that, releasing his death grip on her hand. A doctor comes up to the stretcher and talks lowly to Nya. He’s so tired that he can barely make out what’s being said, but the meaning is clear.

It’s time.

Nya leans down to put their heads close together. Wisps of her hair gently tickle at his face.

“Sleep, Jay. I’ll be here with you until you wake up again.”

It’s with the sedative running through his veins and the soft whisper in his ear that Jay finally succumbs to his exhaustion. 

He slips into unconsciousness thinking only of ocean blue eyes.

---

Yall this is unedited and not beta read but I'm so tired.

I'll probably try and fix any mistakes tomorrow but for now I have to sleep - gotta wake up early for even more exams :(

Nevertheless I hope you like this :D tell me what you guys think, I'd love to hear your thoughts

Have a lovely day!

-Lee :)

im a picky eater but if you put a korma, rice and a naan in front of me? you bet your ass im getting in there with my fingers and ripping that naan to get as much korma and rice together and delicately dropping it into my mouth like it’s the last beautiful thing this earth has

JAYNUARY DAY 1 - PILOTS / INVENTION

Something about Jay's wings from the first pilot have always just stuck with me as a core memory, so I knew exactly what to draw for today!

Its VERY rough - I have a very busy month ahead of me, so most of the days I end up posting will either be very roughly finished like today's or just some cleaned up sketches. I'm just up for the challenge - I think drawing like this every day this month will do me some good lol, especially if it's my boy Jay (I have not drawn him NEARLY enough for a while)/

Below - the scene from the pilot, very poorly screenshotted from youtube

I can't wait for this month to fly by, now! This will be so much fun, and thank you so much @nin-jay-go for hosting this!

Have a lovely day!

-Lee :)

writing is such an interesting experience for me, because i’ll be writing a fic and absolutely tearing myself apart at every single word i write - telling myself that i have no talent and i’m an awful writer and i should just delete everything and quit because it’s really just a waste of time - and then once in a while ill see someone like an old one shot or fic of mine, and ill open it up for the first time in months and be surprised because, wait a second, this isn’t actually bad. in fact, some of them are genuinely really good! and its such a strange experience, but such a pleasant one, whenever it happens.

i love writing. it might be difficult sometimes, and i might hate what im writing and spend ages comparing myself to others, but at the end of the day i made something. and i’m pretty proud of that. :D

have a lovely day!

-lee :)

reblog if your inbox is always open for new members of the fandom who may be a little shy or intimidated. doesn’t matter whether or not you’re a “popular blog”; everyone here is equal and if you’re reading this as a new person/someone considering entering the fandom, we will not turn you away!!!! talk to us!! make friends!! i more than understand being shy but trust me this fandom is chill come join us in this hellhole

what did I do 😥

@god-of-fandoms 😡