We Back At It Again! 2025 Consistency Is All I Need.

Always ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Andrei Tarkovsky, from a diary entry featured in Time Within Time; Selected Diaries

A customer contacted our team with questions, and then finished their email with: "I am daunted by the complexities and unknowns." I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

Pretty South African hun 👄😍🇿🇦

Fearless Social Confidence: Strategies to Live Without Fear, Speak Without Insecurity, Beat Social Anxiety, and Stop Caring What Others Think - Patrick King book notes

Socially confident people:

expect to be accepted. When they meet strangers, they expect to make a good impression. They never approach situations thinking, “What if they don’t like me?” Instead they think, “I hope I like them.”

evaluate themselves positively. Socially confident people are encouraging, positive, and accepting of themselves. They give themselves leeway not to be perfect and don’t beat themselves up too harshly when they are not.

feel comfortable around superiors. Socially confident people feel comfortable because they don’t feel threatened, or that their flaws and vulnerabilities will be highlighted by the other person’s qualities.

With a lack of social confidence, you are usually choosing the thought that is cruelest to yourself.

when navy SEALs recognize that they are feeling overwhelmed, they regain control by focusing on their breath—breathing in for four seconds, holding for four seconds, and then out for four seconds, and repeating until you can feel your heart rate slow down and normalize.

Core beliefs: 

Steps in a thought diary entry can be arranged in the easy-to-remember A-C-B format—

Activating Event. Note down the event/ situation. This is simply the origin point of your emotional change. It’s whatever caused your emotional status to change from calm to agitation (a memory, a song, etc).

Consequences. In this step you identify the specific emotions and sensations that arose. These could be simple feeling words— “anxious,” “unhappy,” “sickened,” “panicky,” “melancholy,” “confused,” and so forth.

Beliefs. This is where the action begins. How do you link the activating event with the consequences? What unconscious narrative or story about yourself was told to achieve the consequence? (“What was I thinking?”  “What was going through my head when this happened?”  “What’s wrong with that?”“What does this all mean?”  “What does it reveal about me?”)

Now you’ve gotten to the bottom of your situation and figured out what your core beliefs are.

The first step is writing down one of the core beliefs you’ve just uncovered. Ask yourself what experiences you’ve had that prove your core belief wasn’t always true. Generate as many experiences as you can and be very specific about what happened.

Write down the core belief you’re examining.  Think of ways that you can put that belief to the test. These are actual tasks that you can perform.  Then, write down what you expect or predict will happen after conducting these tasks if your core belief was true.  Perform the tasks.  Write down what really happened after you completed your task.  Compare and contrast your predictions with what actually happened. Finally, document what you learned from the task and come up with a new, more reasonable core belief that goes in line with your discoveries.

Bushman’s results imply that sometimes the best course of action after being provoked to anger is to just sit quietly and let it pass.

There’s a direct link between social anxiety and negativity. A 2016 Australian research study showed that “elevated social anxiety vulnerability is characterized only by facilitated attentional engagement with socially negative information.” Obsessing over negative details—including by constantly talking about one’s problems—only reinforces one’s social fears and does nothing to inspire real confidence in a social setting.

Personalization is the mother of guilt. In the cognitive distortion of personalizing, you feel responsible for events that cannot conceivably be your fault. While it is admirable to take responsibility for your actions, there are things completely out of your control: the subway schedule, other people’s actions, and a million day-to-day factors.

Common cues of overgeneralization are “always” and “never.” When starting a sentence or a thought with “always” or “never,” consider whether you have the experience or evidence to back up the statement.

Other people aren't only what they are showing to the world. Most people put on a good show. But do you really know what might be going on in their private life? Take comfort from the fact that while there will be many people who are better at certain things than you are, there are also most certainly things that you will be better at.

If you are self-conscious and worried that people will judge you if you say something stupid or “off,” there's an easy workaround to that. The best approach is simple preparation. Create answers to predictable questions and conversations. Run that mental videotape in your mind about your past 10, 20, or 30 social conversations. I guarantee they are not all that different from each other.

Figure out the general questions that people will ask and the topics that will come up in normal conversation and be prepared with story-answers. For example, How was your weekend? What are you doing this weekend? How was your day? What do you do for work?

How can we ease ourselves into social confidence little by little? 

List the social situations you avoid. Ask yourself what kinds of gatherings or circumstances you steer clear of and write them all down in a list. Your list should include both physical situations—parties, family gatherings, work presentations, and so forth—and personal experiences that you don’t want to face.

Give each situation a SUDS level from 0 to 100.

Plan your goals.

Build your goal stepladder. You’ve planned a goal and have decided to start work. Remember, situational exposure is a bit-by-bit process.

It’s exactly how it is, do not overcomplicate it

How Interacting with People Should Make You Feel:

• Valued

• Understood

• Energized

• Accepted

• Encouraged

• Respected

• At peace

• Motivated

How Interacting with People Should Not Make You Feel:

• Judged

• Drained

• Insecure

• Ignored

• Unappreciated

• On edge

• Misunderstood

• Pressured

i don’t want to be “pretty” i want to be drop dead gorgeous, magical, ethereal, alluring, doll-like, so unrealistically beautiful that it’s actually terrifying.

I fw tumblr heavy, cause people be chilling up here.

some nice things to do

1. carry a plastic bag and pick up litter that you see 2. pay for the person behind you 3. put a cute anonymous note in a library book 4. send a kind anon ask to someone you’re following 5. tell your friends and family you love them 6. make cookies for your best friend 7. include someone who looks left out in a conversation 8. hug people tightly 9. say “thank you” to someone you appreciate 10. compliment your friend’s talents 11. have a checklist and challenge yourself to tick everything off 12. stand up, stretch, and drink a glass of water every hour 13. start jogging, don’t feel bad if you’re slow 14. wake up early so you have time for both hobbies and studying 15. look at things with your eyes more than you take photos 16. treat yourself how you would treat your best friend 17. learn how to bake a cake 18. give yourself some time alone 19. read a book 20. try a new hairstyle 21. learn a new language 22. look at things and appreciate their poetry and beauty 23. keep a journal for all the moments you want to remember 24. pay more attention to the good things than the bad things 25. have manners and don’t be aggressive or rude 26. if someone is rude, be the bigger person and walk away 27. but sugar-free chewing gum so you don’t have to give in to junk food cravings 28. write down your favourite quotes 29. if it’s raining, share your umbrella with someone who needs it 30. be nice to kids even if you dislike them 31. keep making your art, writing, and photography. keep doing things even if you think you suck 32. keep doing something you’re passionate about even though no one is being supportive 33. stop changing yourself to fit the standards of other people 34. plant a garden of fruits and flowers 35. stop sitting down so much and go out and see the world 36. be strong. don’t let people walk all over you 37. focus on your studying for 30 minutes and give yourself a 10 minute break 38. look at the moon and the stars 39. look at the clouds, sunrise and sunset 40. stop using your phone at dinner 41. have a bubble bath 42. message someone you haven’t talked to for a while 43. let go of toxic people who don’t deserve you 44. don’t be afraid to say that you were wrong 45. keep yourself busy so you stop overthinking so much 46. don’t assume things about someone you don’t know 47. say kind things behind someone’s back 48. be nice to others even if you feel angry, sad or bitter. it’s not their fault 49. remember that your emotions don’t have to rule your actions 50. stop caring so much about what other people might think 51. wear what you want 52. smile at a stranger 53. don’t worry. worrying about the future is useless. it will be a lot less scary than you imagined 54. stop not caring about important things. care about everything and everyone you love with all your heart. 55. stop checking your notifications every 2 minutes 56. don’t play mind games with people 57. make your resting face more happy 58. think happy thoughts even if it feels fake, and you will turn more positive 59. be confident. fake the confidence until you have natural confidence 60. make every morning a new beginning 61. try to understand people rather than be judgemental 62. educate yourself on societal issues 63. stop blaming other people for your own mistakes 64. swear less and don’t call people mean and derogatory terms 65. either learn or be inspired by everything you see 66. constantly find new ways to improve yourself 67. have little goals every day and feel great when you achieve them 68. your comfort zone is nice but don’t stay in it too much. be brave and try something new, even if you fail it’s not a failure 69. tidy your desk 70. watch all the best films 71. stop saying mean things to yourself 72. be happy for no reason 73. say hi to everyone you know 74. don’t dwell on your past 75. keep doing something you’re passionate about even if people criticise you 76. put your alarm away from your bed so you get out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off 77. let your emotions out, either by talking to someone or letting it out creatively 78. google everything you’re curious about 79. use a dictionary for words you don’t know 80. don’t feel sad about all the unanswerable questions 81. be kind to everyone, everything and yourself. 82. spread love and happiness constantly 83. help people who need it 84. don’t be afraid to cry 85. pick yourself up. you don’t need other people to save you 86. if you don’t have anything kind or constructive to say, don’t say it 87. breathe through your stomach, not your chest 88. sleep earlier!! 89. eat more fruits than chocolate 90. be there when your friend is sad, not just when everything is fine 91. make your bed every morning 92. observe everything and pay attention to what’s around you 93. quit any addictions you have 94. give more attention to all the great things 95. learn, accept your past, and move on 96. write things down to remember them 97. be proud of every little victory 98. be proud of who you are 99. remember that you’re loveable, important and worthy of happiness 100. don’t give up. you’re still young and you have a whole life ahead of you.