Girlish-in-pain - Maja

normal vs not normal: pain edition

normal: your knees/hips starting to twinge after climbing a big set of stairs

not normal: climbing stairs is hard for you, and you start to feel pain after a couple steps

normal: you wake up feeling pain after doing a lot of exercise the day before

not normal: you wake up feeling pain regardless of your activities the day before

normal: you are usually a zero on the pain scale

not normal: you cannot imagine what a pain scale zero would feel like

normal: when you experience pain, there is a direct reason for it, and it is able to be fixed with over-the-counter drugs (such as paracetamol)

not normal: you can’t figure out why you’re in pain, and taking over-the-counter painkillers doesn’t always work to fix it

normal: you do not spend most of your time in pain

not normal: you’ve spent most of your time in pain for over three months

if you experience pain regularly and for seemingly no reason, go to the doctor! you are not supposed to be in pain, and you deserve to find out what’s going on with your body!

I recently went on a touristy vacation where I knew we were going to be walking a lot so I brought the cane I have with me. Mind you it was a 3ish week long vacation in a foreign country. I had bought a cane maybe a year before even though my doctor didn't think I needed it because "you could just sit down or not walk for long distances instead" and "you're too young to use a cane". So naturally I ignored her and followed my disabled friend's advice instead and bought a cane. But I barely used it because I got in my own head about not reaaally needing it and other internalised ableism stuff. Also people staring didn't help.

Fast forward to the vacation where I used it religiously. And it helped soo much! I noticed I could walk farther and walk for more days in a row, because my pain levels were lower. It helped so much that I could no longer justify not using it to myself.

Now it's 6 weeks later and I use my cane everyday.

schizophrenia is not just experiencing positive symptoms (hallucinations and delusions). a lot of schizophrenics are neurodivergent in other ways. this focus on the positive symptoms is a villainious way to gatekeep us from neurodivergent spaces because our positive symptoms are typically portrayed as "scary".

our negative symptoms (flat effect, being withdrawn, avolition and anhedonia) are skewed to portray us as "evil" because we're not "emotive" or "caring" enough. schizospec disorders make everyday activities so hard. basic hygiene isn't a habit, we have little to no motivation to do basic things, the lack of happiness and pleasure can turn into severe depression for some of us and that's why depressive and bipolar schizoaffectives exist. people don't grasp the fact that schizophrenia is a disability.

i've personally experienced a lot of cruelty from other neurodivergent people because there is little to no education on schizospec disorders even within neurodivergent spaces. we're seen as inherently morally reprehensible for our disorder and people are so casually ableist to us. i'm not able to speak up for myself in these spaces because i feel like there is no where else i can go. neurotypicals are cruel to schizophrenics but so are other neurodivergent people. people need to have more care and love for schizophrenics.

yes that includes schizophrenics with little to no empathy, schizophrenics of color, trans schizophrenics, gay schizophrenics, schizophrenic systems, autistic schizophrenics, schizophrenics with adhd, fat schizophrenics, poor schizophrenics, homeless schizophrenics, schizophrenic sex workers, schizophrenics who've experienced abuse, schizophrenics with ocd, schizophrenics with ptsd/cptsd, schizophrenic children and teens, elderly schizophrenics, schizophrenics who are also physically disabled, all schizophrenics.

all schizophrenics deserve love.

@ all the people unfollowing me during eurovision

You know those "if this gets 50k notes I'll xyz"? I don't believe in those. Because I could say something crazy like: if this gets 20k notes, I'll write my next book. And then it'll get zero notes. I do not believe.

I don't have a scooter attachment or any motor attachment for my wheelchair, but I sometimes drive fast bc I am able to and I love it. I'm genuinely considering getting a "ringing bell" (idk I forgot the English word for it) and/or a "honking thing". Bc people walk sooo slow and I'm zooming ahead and most people are completely unaware of their surroundings

For the Danes or Danish speaking individuals, the words I'm thinking of are "ringeklokke og båthorn" :D

ICELAND ICELAND ICELAND ICELAND

the only life advice i feel equipped to give:

when you’re young u can only romanticize your pain and hurt for so long. one day you’re going to realize u have to stop sabotaging yourself by assuming your hurt is all that makes you. you have to consider all your good qualities. that u are a bright and creative person who might’ve been dealt a bad hand, and all u can control is how you treat yourself. you have to be kind to yourself to survive. you have to let go of that impulse to treat yourself poorly because u think u deserve it. forgive yourself for whatever makes you feel like you don’t deserve the same love and care as everyone else. please.

hey if you're not a mobility aid user, and you want a simple way to make public spaces more accessible to those of us who are, i have a tip for you:

push in your chairs when you get up from tables.

when people don't push in their chairs, people with bulky aids like wheelchairs and rollators can't get through. also a lot of people who use canes have wider gaits than able bodied people, and having a chair in the middle of their walking path is a real obstruction. while some of us are able to push chairs out of our way, a lot of us are not, and wind up boxed in/out because somebody didn't push in their chair.

so if you want to do something simple that can make a big difference in terms of like. navigating an outdoor food court or a cafe or what have you. push in your chairs.

pick your fighter

ukraine: edgy vampire sets whole stage on fire

spain: 3 month anniversary date singing to all of europe

solvenia: pink hair and her gal pals

lithuania: no please no not a ballad

austria: mmmmm heart eyes #bae

estonia: opera? really? okay rainbow dress, they did get the memo after all!

norway: not fairytale (2009)

portugal: they're gay and in love for sure

uk: british katy perry, got sabotaged, liked her more because of it

serbia: cult leader and sister wives feat. Albert Einstein on the pipe

germany: ballad but forgivable because its totes emosh

albania: adam lambert is that you? tattoos so good, china banned them

france: je suis bored

czech republic: backpack boy, sounds like talk dirty to me?

denmark: this viking ballad got me sailing straight to valhalla

australia: shE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE

finland: third time lucky saara?

bulgaria: washed up boyband???

moldova: no led staging? moldova don't need it

sweden: red lights I think? I skipped out for a toilet break lol

hungary: screaming into the void #mood

israel: the birdie song but new and improved (feat. body positivity)

netherlands: america? what are you doing here?

ireland: beautiful gay love story, don't hate us cause you ain't us China xox

cyprus: absolute banger, looks like Queen Bey

italy: absolute tune, powerful lyrics, anti-terrorist