Jimin’s Log 180413 & My Tears.

Jimin’s log 180413 & my tears.

 ‘For the first time since becoming an adult, debut, and after debuting, I became curious about myself, came to have more thoughts. And as I went through this, I felt quite often that I was lonely. ‘

‘I’m not really the type to lean on one’s shoulders, nor do I know how to do it well, and that I’m worse at leaning on than listening to. The only people I believed I could confide in were going through a hard time as well so it was a situation where I wasn’t sure what to do.’

‘ When we came back to Korea, I looked up a lot of OUR videos. Our music, our music videos, our performance videos, our photos. And while looking through these, I came to a video of us performing YOUNG FOREVER. We were performing this song at a concert. But the video wasn’t of US performing, it had captured the scene of our fans, singing the song. At that time, we weren’t singing and only the fans were. It kind of felt as if…something hit me hard on the head. I had the thought: “WHY was I forgetting this!?”. Then, with this thought, I wanted to comeback sooner, do our concerts, meet, see, and be together with the fans in one place, sing together. I had these thoughts a lot.’

Excuse me while I sob. 

Do y’all realise how hard it is to make a log about your suffering and having the courage to post it when he knows how his words are always taken out of proportion and messed with. Knowing how the internet hasn’t left one aspect of his personality that they haven’t shamed? He still posted this talking not just about how he was struggling but of how they all were struggling as a team and the reason he couldn’t lean on his brothers was because he knew that they were in crises too. Honestly, If that ain’t the most Jimin thing Jimin has ever said. 

He is the one who listens to everyone’s concerns to the point where all the members have said, time and time again that Jimin is the member they need the most to share their anxieties with. Y’all love to portray Jimin as some damsel in distress who needs protecting but y’all forget just how fucking strong this man is emotionally. He doesn’t only shoulder everyone in Bangtan; he does that while shouldering his own suffering too and if that doesn’t make you respect him, I don’t think I have anymore to say to you.

The fact that we, as armys solved his existential crises for however small a period of time it was; I’m honestly fucking flattered. The fact that watching OUR videos made him say “They’re my reason.” All this time when some armys were busy hating every aspect of his existence, he took ours and made it his own.

I just really fucking adore how this man smiles in the face of adversity and says with his whole chest, nevermind.

From being the trainee with the shortest training period and still landing main dancer and lead vocalist, To people body shaming him only to get blood sweat and tears thrown into their faces. To people questioning his dancing only for him to be recognized as main dancer by the Korean president. To Jimin being the least popular member to literally winning the most loved idol in South Korea 18′ ;  He has proven every single time that his anxieties and his flaws maybe a part of him but it’s not something that’ll ever, ever stop him for winning at life.

I’ve said this time and time again and I’ll say this today too; Park Jimin is one strong motherfucker, inside out. Don’t mistake his sensitivity for being weak; He’ll deck you while he’s crying bitch. 

Honestly though, I couldn’t be any more prouder of this boy than I am today. This is Park Jimin y’all; This dude right here, set out to make a song about his suffering and pain and eventually turned it into a promise of how that same suffering and pain will never get the best of him. 

Fuck this, I’m in love.

translation cr: @cafe_army