Watching This To The End Fucking Obliterated Me. You Will Not Guess What Company This Commercial Is For

I was today years old when i found out that i was allowed time off to vote. Something no boss has ever told me.

Chapter 9 Summary of IWHYH:

Teen Wolf AU: Let’s be real, if you didn’t think Stiles’ face in the first gif is a post-orgasm face, you’re lying. 

Kaz: Dammit, Jesper! Jesper: What?! It wasn’t me! Kaz: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Nina! Nina: Not me either. Kaz: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Matthias: *whistles*

oh yeah cause it’s so incredibly heterosexual to give your homie prostate orgasms when he gets on your nerves a little. give me a break

My mother just said she's convinced that Democrats and Liberals don't love their country

Yeah remind me again who stormed the capital because they were unhappy about the election results

I feel this

I can't handle being single any more I need a partner 😭

I will buy you boba if you like it, I'll watch horror movies with you (I will be scared shitless tho), I'll do anything for a partner right now

(Don't take any of this seriously btw)

This is the greatest thing ever

trick or treat!!

(headcanons? for the coven maybe?)

(continuity- the fabled crack!fic)

Alice- the only morning person among a coven of night people. Really enjoys jogging, was very into death metal for a while as a rebellion against her mother, gets into making artisan beers and funky stained glass pieces after the Road. refused to let anyone help her magically move her mother's piano, which created a fairly amusing scene for the Proctors/John one Saturday afternoon as they attempted to get the thing in the house.

Lilia- the only motherfucker who can cook in this entire damn household (wanda is her most eagar apprentice). has considered hexing the kitchen to keep everyone else out. once did hex everyone involved when she walked in on unnamed individuals playing texas hold 'em with tarot cards from the 17th century. absolutely refuses to help agatha to short the stock market (again).

Jen- if she's going to be stuck with you people, you're at least not going to embarrass her; the coven wide skincare situation has never been more on point. brings billy with her to a couple of beauty/youtube cons, and he becomes a popular feature on her channel. does product testing on rio; the more rio enjoys it, the more toxic something is. senor scratchy oversees the process. sets up her lab upstairs in the former office "because not all of us lurk in basements like stereotypes, agatha."

Billy- living his absolute best life. frequently has the Kaplans over; he can't live with them anymore b/c of the insane amount of risk his physical person and the near constant presence of the scarlet witch and agatha thee harkness causes. he started a scoreboard in the living room, where he tallies up beings that come to the house looking to revenge/challenge- agatha's winning, but wanda's not far behind. everyone else is lumped into one category and losing badly. the kaplans are... adjusting. there is a lowkey conspiracy to teach rebecca witchcraft. he keeps eddie away for as long as possible, and then tries to introduce him to each of his new relatives one at a time. this does not go well.

Rio- is really only hanging out to see if she can drive wanda or agatha over the edge and into another killing spree. everything else is just her fucking around for her own amusement. does weird shit on purpose- eats raw meat and insects just to gross everyone else out. is not allowed unsupervised with the kaplans. built a complex terrarium set up for the tarantula, and frequently shape shifts to join him in there. the tarantula's name is typhon. the garden situation in the backyard has never been more lush and/or deadly. lilia and jen are never short on ingredients, but usually triple check to make sure what they're grabbing.

Wanda- has never been more understood in her entire life and is absolutely mystified. the first time she and jen get in an argument, and wanda accidentally breaks something- she freezes, expecting a wave of fear. jen just laughs and points, breaking a plate too with a swirl of rose gold sparkles. they spent the next ten minutes cheerfully breaking agatha's third best china until she busts them, and joins in too. no one particularly cares if wanda's too damaged, about how many people she's killed, if she can't control her powers, if she can't quite remember how to move like a human being. one way or another there's someone here who gets it- and that's the strangest part of all.

Agatha (all along)- unfortunately in charge here. couldn't give less of a shit about it. having to adjust to being around witches she's not actively trying to kill, while being her own weird ass self, not one of her personas. unclear what this strange feeling is in her chest (it's happiness- she's just never met it, so the sensation is alien). is the first to read whoever fucked up today into the ground. is also the first to kill anyone who looks at her coven sideways. experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being known and being very, very undignified about it. the rabbit continues to live like a tiny king. exploring other hobbies that aren't murder/plotting murder/scheming on how to plot a murder.

To all Americans out there: