Things I Forgot About The Lightning Thief

Percy: Estelle found out she could sneakily put post-its on people's backs without them knowing

Percy: But she doesn't know they should say things like 'kick me', so they all just have smiley faces on them

Camp jumpiter: yeah no one ever meets their parents we just have faith they’re watching over us :/

Percy: *sleeps over at Poseidon’s house, Amphitrite does his laundry when he’s there*

Nico: *has a room ready for him in Hades’ palace for when he dies*

Annabeth: *literally designs Olympus at age 16*

Clarisse: *rides her dad’s chariot as a rite of passage and fights her brothers who are actual gods*

The gods not understanding how demigod kids work😂 I’m just waiting for the moment one of their kids gets a paper cut or something and they’re just like, “PAPER! THEY SOMEHOW GET HURT BY PAPER!”

Okay, but the duality of human beings is SO wild that I’m positive this information would absolutely break them.

There are humans that can survive great heights? But only sometimes? And other times they die? It is really just up to chance and how you land?

Humans can fall down a flight of stairs and say they’re completely fine, but PAPER hurts them and they whine about it all day?

Gunshot wounds? Yeah, we can recover from that (well, depending on where you’re hit, maybe). As long as invisible bacteria doesn’t get into the wound without us noticing... then we might die even if the blood is gone and wound sewn up.

Zeus is like “There are people out there who survive my lightning strikes?” and then learns the same person died like.... three hours later from choking on a hotdog.

Hermes, with a magazine: Athena! Look at this. It says here that 1 in every 15,000 humans die from exercising too much.

Athena: But... they need exercise? All my research says they need exercise!

Annabeth: You did hear the one in FIFTEEN THOUSAND part, right?

Hades: HOW ARE THEY DYING FROM DOING THE THING THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO DO! DAMNIT!

Then you have Demeter running in like:

Demeter: KILL THE MOSQUITOES! KILL THE MOSQUITOES!!!

Ares: Why?

Demeter: Look at this! I ran the numbers while in the Underworld while visiting Persephone. One million people die a YEAR from mosquitoes. We have to kill them.

Ares: There’s no way these punks are dying from these tiny bugs.

Demeter: Apparently, they carry diseases.

Ares, softly: ...holy shit. Biological warfare.

Apollo, flipping a table: IS NOTHING ON THIS GODDAMN PLANET SAFE ANYMORE?!

Chiron, still trying to explain everything: Nothing on this planet was ever safe at any point... ever.

Athena: Pandora’s box?

Chiron: You guys pin wayyyyy too much on that poor girl.

Later on, you have Nico walking up in bubble wrap like ‘okay, which one of y’all told the gods that it hurts when we stub our toes?’ and you got Piper in helmet and knee pads all bitter like ‘It wasn’t me’ and Will is just looking so guilty before quietly going ‘I just wanted to explain how nerves worked’

They try to explain it all to the gods and it just... gets so much worse.

Zeus: So... the medicine... that heals you.... can also kill you...?

Will: I mean, if you overdose, yeah. It’s the same with ambrosia-

Hermes: AMBROSIA CAN KILL YOU!?

Percy: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!

Hephaestus: That’s it. All of you are too fragile. We’re going to have to make a safer planet. This is ridiculous. Maybe we can just put them all on Venus or something-

Leo: We need oxygen to survive, Dad.

Ares: You’re kidding me, right?

Annabeth: Um, no, but... well... we can’t actually have too much oxygen or we’ll-

Poseidon: LET ME GUESS! You die?! For the love of Rhea! How has anyone survived anything?

Nico: Well... we all end up dead at some point, so arguably... we don’t survive?

And finally:

Jason: you guys created humans. Why don't you know this?

Zeus: No. Prometheus created humans and quite frankly he did a TERRIBLE job-

The reason why Percabeth works so beautifully is because they give each other exactly what they need. Annabeth Chase, who’s riddled with trust and abandonment issues because everyone who was supposed to love and protect her constantly betrayed her, fell for Percy. A boy with loyalty as a fatal flaw. Someone who will choose her over and over again. And Percy, who was constantly being cast out from place to place and was always the second choice, fell for Annabeth. A girl who just wants stability, something permanent. Someone who has him as her first priority

...don’t tell me it’s all about to fall in love with OC just to find out he’s not even one of the MCs in the next book

*crying in heartbroken*

Greek Gods As Crocs

greek gods as cursed images part one

Zeus

Poseidon

Hades

Persephone

Demeter

Hera

Hestia

Athena

Hermes

Apollo

Artemis

Hephaestus

Aphrodite

Ares

Dionysus

Sassiness level 100

Percy: Sir, why do good people die young?

Chiron: When you are in a garden full of flowers, which ones do you pick?

Percy: The ugly ones

Chiron: Exactl- wait, what, why?

Percy: Because ugly bitches don't belong in my garden

Aquaman driving

Couldn’t possibly be worse

Oh, wait, now it is

“You don’t want to look at me. It would destroy us.” Eros and Psyche 💘

Probably one of the best quotes from MoA

:)