August 31, 2024 ཐི❤︎ཋྀ
Diary Entry #3
A few nights ago I decided I wanted to shift my awareness to the vampire diaries. (Quite the spur of the moment decision for me)
In all the time I’ve know about shifting majority of my “attempts” have been towards more personal realities that don’t have a fictional universe in this reality. Which was quite weird for me because I never really saw another shifters with the same goals as I did. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, if I changed my mind right now to go back to what I wanted a couple days ago so be it. It is my desire.)
I think I ultimately feel giddy and excited about my change of mind, it has brought life and feeling into a journey that unfortunately became flat and dull. Honestly it became tiring “trying” to go someplace and never ending up there. Thinking of the same things over and over again. Occasionally yes, I would download or make a script for something else but I never actually decided to shift to any them, for the most part those scripts are also unfinished. These moments were all short lived and I ended up in the same position I started in.
And while I do feel different about this choice, if I changed my mind I do know and accept that it will be different and I appreciate what the last couple of days have brought me. I think ultimately I need to ask my self what I want in this moment, a hard question to answer given all the things I want to do but, I think no matter where I end up, I want a new adventure of my choosing. I’m just not the same person I was three years ago, I want to try new things and I think that’s been a little strange for me to accept that I don’t really feel the same way I used too. All the work I put in led me down a path that I didn’t really intend. But now as of the last couple of days, it doesn’t upset me at all really. I know I’m meant for bigger and better things. If I want to experience those things still that I did when I was 17, they will always be there for me. :) I have also gained new knowledge and perspective on the LOA and that has brought me some peace as well. And honestly I’m just having a lot of fun and I haven’t felt this way on my journey for a while!
But I do think there was a voice in the back of my head that wants more structure and preparation for this specific choice of a reality, at the end of the day it is reality with vampires, werewolves, witches, etc… I don’t want to put myself in a situation I’m not comfortable or ready for. So having a better grasp on who I am and what’s to come and the changes I want compared to the fictional show I think will push me forward. Even though a physical script or script of any sort is not necessarily, I think some foundation is needed for me rn.
I’ll probably write another entry soon, maybe about the changes I’m making from the original show. If any vampire diaries shifter find this pls talk to me I don’t have anyone to talk to about it!
i have a new shifting method called the dafuq method, where i dont give a fuq. i lay on my bed and dont give a fuq. i listen to a guided meditation but honestly, i dont really need it because i dont give a fuq. i know im shifting, and none of my other thoughts matter because i dont give a fuq about them.
and then i shift, dafuq
A realization - Let go
(TW: light mention of some heavy stuff; rant + personal trauma mention)
I was depressed. I had messed up this reality to a point where it could not be fixed in the present, I had failed all exams, lied about the results, hoping everything be better, because I will be in my desired reality later that night.
If I had a day off, or if it was a weekend, I would get too relaxed, i would end up daydreaming about stuff that was irrelevant to my DR, and fall asleep, because i knew i was still in my CR, I would wake up back here.
If I did not have a day off, and had to attend college the next day, I would be so stressed out, the need to escape was the only thing on my mind. I would try, get stressed about time running out, worried that I'll wake back and what not.
(Disclaimer)
And due to this, when i eventually woke back, in the same, lonely and cold reality, the only thought that would arise in my mind was to fill the sink with water, and dive my face right into it.
It did not matter what I felt, the same thoughts "no one is coming to save me" "it doesn't matter ill be in my DR tonight" "I want to go home", whether it was said in a positive or negative tone, it didn't matter, thinking stuff like this wouldn't work.
It's all just a human way to perceive things, we're suffering and we need to escape. While shifting isn't like any other human process.
Changing your entire reality is almost mechanical. Select a place, act like it, feel it, and leave and let go whatever was in the past. The constant victim feeling we all get, isn't helping us, the constant need to fear we're going to be back in the CR, is a function attached to the human body. We're consciousness, and whatever reality we want is created by our own focus onto it.
Our DRs, also needs our contribution, for us to give it attention, let us form it. thinking like a human, thinking you're "shifting" to a place, you're attempting to shift to that place, thinking you might reach it if you do X or Y, won't work, you know?
We're the creator, our hopeless situation is also created by us, and us being in our DRs, is also created by us.
my ‘method’ for shifting:
say “i am in my *desired reality*” & “i will wake up in my *desired reality* then fall asleep with the belief that i’ll wake up in my desired reality because i am there so i will.
‧ new year's shifting pick a pile ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚
{ i've been meaning to do another collective reading but honestly forgot, but hey it's a new year so... this will just be anything you may need to hear right now. i hope you find what you were looking for, and if i was able to help in any way then i'm glad. and just like any other reading you find, take what resonates and leave what doesn't }
❆ take a deep breath... and choose the pile you're most drawn to...
KEYWORDS/SIGNS: rain, orange slices, pie, hot tea, 777, gloomy weather, allergies, ears ringing, dogs barking/whining, 222, trust, hourglass, boredom, keys, heart ache, homesick, road trips, four leaf clover, golden child, shaking hands
❆ a decision, a choice. is this right? am i making the wrong choice? let’s take a deep breath ok? it seems you are at a crossroads of sorts. perhaps you don’t know what to do with yourself when it comes to your shifting journey. that’s ok! whatever this issue is for you specifically, i believe you already have they answer. let’s slow the roll, take some deep breaths and try to see this clearly. to me it seems you are over consuming information. i suggest you log off of social media for a bit, sit with yourself and look over the information you already have, discard what no longer fits you and keep what works. you know you best! some random person online cannot (unfortunately) fix your supposed problems for you. no matter how much advice you seek, you can only do that. you need to let go of this internal struggle, you are only fighting yourself, creating resistance. if the answers still seem to be foggy to you, perhaps you can meditate and look for the answers there.
❆ it seems your mind might be in the midst of chaos, or perhaps your life is as well. yet when it comes to your shifting journey you may just be on the brink of a spiritual awakening you desire (or need). the clarity is within YOU. it looks like you are walking down this path with a blindfold on, unsure of where you are going, what choices to make. maybe there is something you don’t want to face. but these fears and worries do not need to hold you back. let’s try to use them to your advantage. face what is holding you back and if you just can’t rid it, know that it does not stop you, only shows a different part of yourself.
❆ instead of putting your journey and motivations on others, it’s time to look within. there’s only so much more “new” information you can gain. your journey is yours and yours alone. that doesn’t mean it has to be a lonely one though. trust that you have the answers, and trust that there is still a community for you! having so many different pieces of information and advice forced upon you to try and digest and make use of is not helping you. sit with yourself and ask yourself if there is genuinely anything you still need to learn from others at this point? at what point do you let it all go and just use it to your benefit?
❆ maybe creating some sort of routine will help you as well, setting up some self-discipline. on the flip side you may need to let go of perfectionism as well. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. shifting is supposed to be fun. maybe reflect on what you can do to make this all the more enjoyable. let go of the process and remember where you started.
‧ ₊ escaper - sarah kinsley
“ everything changed
but my mind couldn’t change me ”
‧ ₊ wildflower - beach house
“ need a companion…
a hidden prayer
you know your not losing your mind
what’s left, you make something of it ”
‧ ₊ eye contact - fromis_9
“ When I closed my eyes and felt it, there was a small gap between you and me
I want to see you again, I want you so…
When you look at me, the moment I started believing in eternity
When I look at you, it was possible because of you ”
‧ ₊ void/pure consciousness
‧ ₊ julia method
KEYWORDS/SIGNS: waterfalls, cinnamon, 444, crows, 88, water damage. doubles, holiday, patience, crowns, one of a kind, eye on the prize, chocolate cake, stars
❆ let’s take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back! give yourself space to celebrate your accomplishments, big or small, bright or dim. it’s ok to reflect and give yourself credit for all you’ve done, someone has to, and you deserve it. you are at a place of harmony and balance in your journey. embrace it! know that you already have it, and if necessary take a breather, pause and look around yourself. look at all you’ve achieved! it will still be here for you, even if you take a break from it all. whether it’s here or in your desired reality, you are surrounded by so much love and support. even on your worst days. your vision is clear, if you're ready, know that it is yours, and make that first step. perhaps all you need is a little reassurance, you got this!
❆ you’ve clearly invested a lot into yourself and your journey. your hard work will pay off, you just need to sit back and let it. perhaps you are confused over slow results. yet you should persist, for it is already yours. stay in a mindset of gratefulness, if needed share your feelings with someone, talk it out.
f❆ stay steady and clear, you are on the right path. if victory is what you want, victory is what you’ll get. you are just on the verge of making a breakthrough. keep going. embrace all your ideas and write them down. let yourself create your vision, live in that moment. your creativity is your strength. you may be overwhelmed with the excitement, all the possibilities. harness it and let it push you further. it is all up to you.
‧ ₊ mariners apartment complex - lana del rey
“ i ain’t no candle in the wind
i’m the board, the lighting, the thunder…
they mistook my kindness for weakness ”
‧ ₊ numb - men i trust
“ please forgive me if i ever did you wrong
i’ll be your candle; burn me upside down ”
‧ ₊ moon song - beabadoobee
“ i’m lying on the moon
my dear, i’ll be there soon
it’s a quiet and starry place
time’s we’re swallowed up
in space we’re a million miles away ”
‧ ₊ intention
‧ ₊ lucid dreaming
KEYWORDS/SIGNS: love, pairing, 555, daydream, interruptions, cats, heartbreak, lonesome, tears, sleeping in, not sleeping enough, castles, cages, 333, 1212, floating
❆ it has been a long journey for you, a hard one at that. you may have found yourself in many setbacks. perhaps you blame yourself, there’s a lot of sadness and anger here. in this moment you can choose forgiveness, forgive yourself and know that it’s all ok. whatever has happened, there’s no use for guilt. open up to a friend, a stranger, someone. vocalize your feelings and hardships. with mistakes you can learn and grow from them, and ultimately come out stronger in the end. show yourself grace and love, and set your eyes on newer and better things. know that no matter what you can still trust yourself. take small steps and build yourself back up. find the romance and beauty in shifting again, it’ll always be there.
❆ i see that you may be someone shifting for love. keep your partner in mind. despite everything, please remember you are deserving of love and happiness. keep your love close to you. just as you wish to be with them, use it to bring you two together. your emotions are not a flaw, feel them, sit with them, BE them. wherever you are and where you want to be, what are you feeling? are you in your bed? perhaps the arms of your lover. whoever you want to be, FEEL IT, let your compassion drive you forward. there’s no need to be embarrassed over your feelings, they are valid, and so are you.
❆ you need to make the decision. you can’t sit in despair forever, pick yourself up and know that there are better things for you. use it all to your advantage, all the bad just as the good. being interrupted during a meditation? that’s fine, it doesn’t have to stop you forever. Distracted? that’s ok, take a deep breath and know that it doesn’t have to hold you back, unless you let it. you don't have to have the most squeaky clean mindset ever to shift, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense does it? accept where you are at, and accept where you want to go.
‧ ₊ whale - kim sejeong
“ i find you hidden in the dark night sky
when i walk on the purple road among the clouds
Can I face you only at the end of the darkness?…
Where did you disappear
i miss my whale…
time has become today in front of you ”
‧ ₊ high - slow pulp
“ i have to much in my pockets
i wish they were empty…
my limbs are feeling lazy
why won’t they work with me?
and now i can’t seem to focus my eyes
won’t let me see ”
‧ ₊ sweet nothing - taylor swift
“ they said the end is comin’,
everyone’s up to somethin’
i find myself runnin’ home to your sweet nothings…
to you, i can admit that i'm just to soft for all of it ”
‧ ₊ fives senses
‧ ₊ staircase method
‧ ₊ wake back to bed
^^^ and everyone in the comments was saying “I lied” “I actually got diagnosed with schizophrenia” etc etc…
{disclaimer: I’m not trying to come across as annoying and if so just scroll, but I have never in all the three + years I’ve know of shifting have asked for validation (in terms of the validity of shifting) from the community. I’m well aware of how not to rely on external validation.}
Please, give us a list of affirmations for your anti method! I’m in love with it but I’m also having a hard time repeating the same 3 or 4 affirmations.
Thank you a million times over for all you do!
what if i’ve already shifted… and this is just the memory settling in?
what if i’m in my dr right now, and i just haven’t noticed the signs yet?
what if i never needed to shift because i was always here?
what if this is the bridge between realities, and i’m just waiting for the realisation to hit?
what if the only thing keeping me from knowing is the belief that i haven’t shifted?
what if i already have everything i want, and my brain is just catching up?
what if my dr is bleeding into this reality right now?
what if my past self is looking at me in awe, realising i’ve made it
what if i never had to do anything at all....just notice?
what if reality is more fluid than i thought, and i’ve been slipping between them all along?
A late entry for my shifting attempt last night !
°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。
Yesterday was actually my 20th birthday ! And luckily for me it was a better birthday than I thought it would be. :D
I ended up going to bed reaallllyyy late and earlier that day I planned on trying to get in the void state and shift like that ( I’ve never been in the void state before ) but I was so tired I couldn’t even try to meditate longer than five minutes and was irritated. I’m not sure why I didn’t just try and do something else, but I just let myself go to sleep ! ( which is ok )
I was telling myself that I’d let myself shift as a gift for my birthday, but it is what it is.
I’m not sure what I’ll do tonight, I think it’ll depend on when I go to bed. Though, I don’t think it matters all that much.
Anyways, that’s all for my first entry. Good luck to myself and anyone else planning to shift tonight !
february 10, shifting entry #11
it’s been a bit since i’ve made a shifting diary post on here. truthfully speaking, it’s been a while since i’ve even journaled privately about my journey (or anything). i feel a bit lost, my heart aches so much sometimes it feels as though im actually physically hurting. i’m just not sure what to do any more, and im tired.
this isn’t the first time i’ve made a post talking about what im about to. my shifting journey has been heavily tied with my dreams. constant dreams of shifting, my dr, my s/os etc… and still i can’t make sense of it.
last night i dreamt of trying to shift and it didn’t work. i don’t think i was even lucid. (this has happened before too).
just as say in basically every shifting entry, i’ve tried shifting through lucid dreams countless times and i just don’t understand why it’s never worked. yea, maybe it’s not the way for me and that’s cool, but i’ve genuinely believed (especially in the beginning part of my journey) that lucid dreaming was the way for me. i’ve done it many different ways, i’ve done it with many different mindsets, i mean i’ve tried without even being aware i was dreaming.
i know my journey is mine and mine alone, but i really am frustrated and hurting and honestly just confused. and i just don’t know what to do anymore.
as much as other people say things like “what’s a couple of years for many lifetimes of your dream” and i get that, it doesn’t change the feeling of it sometimes just not working. and hey, i’ve made peace in certain lights of waking up here, but that doesn’t change that i long to be elsewhere and belong in different places. i’ve always known i was bigger than just this. so why am i still here?
okay, i mean it, im shifting tonight \(≧▽≦)/ you guys will too!!