Cleaning My Space, Getting Rid Of Things That Don’t Suit Me, Only Responding To Love, Knowing My Worth,

i cannot stress enough how much of an impact changing the way you talk to yourself can have on your mental health. swapping out self deprecating jokes and changing unhealthy sentiments like "i hate myself" and "i want to die" to kinder, more forgiving ones like "i need a break" and "i'm trying" can make such a difference to how you view yourself. the things we say to ourselves become a part of our lives and so we deserve to me kinder to ourselves in our heads.

living life at your own pace isn’t a waste of time

@studiomeggy

7 February 2022

TW: mention of calories

Just a brief check in today. No long, venting post this time.

Anyway...today went pretty well. I didn’t make it to the gym like I, originally, had planned. However, I was very mindful with what I ate today. I even managed to incorporate some vegetables and fruit. But, I also made sure to not deprive myself. For instance, after lunch today, I really wanted a cookie, so I had a cookie. AND...I didn’t feel bad about it all. I didn’t immediately head to the gym to work off the calories (which is something I would have done a few years ago).

I’d also like to highlight the fact that I went shopping for clothes this past weekend...and guess what? I didn’t have my usual mental breakdown in any of the fitting rooms I used (can’t wait to report this to my therapist LOL).

Overall, I’m really proud of myself. I know that meeting all of my goals will take longer than I’m used to, as I’m doing it with a healthier mindset this time. But, I know that, in the long run, this will be the best and most sustainable way. :)

🌷

starting again...

... doesn't mean that you failed the previous time.

it means that you have the strength to try again. you are willing and able to put in the effort again.

you know atleast a little more than you did last time. nothing can stop you ✨

2022 smells like success, healing, transformation, blessings and self love.

I hope you will find peace wherever you go🐱🌻

Self care isn't just about doing whatever you feel like doing. Sometimes self care is all about prioritizing your long term health and happiness above engaging in whatever unhealthy coping methods you think would provide a feeling of instant gratification.

So…a lot has happened since my last post, which explains my unplanned absence. I’ve been prioritizing other aspects of my life these past few weeks, which, admittedly, have been kind of rough. But, I’m, officially, back in school and ready to crush this semester. One of my goals is to make sure I don’t neglect myself in the pursuit of academic success, which is something I, unfortunately, did last school year. I mean…there were other things happening last year that contributed to me neglecting myself, but school was one of the major things. I still plan on doing well, but my approach is going to be a lot different this time around.

As for my fitness/health goals…not too much has changed. I’m still aiming to lose weight, but I’ve decided to change my mindset about certain aspects. For one, instead of waiting until I weigh a certain amount to wear certain types of clothes, I’ve decided to start wearing said clothes regardless. If there’s something I want to try, I’m just going to go for it. If I end up not liking how it looks…then oh well. I’m tired of holding myself back from different experiences because of my appearance (or, rather, because of how unhappy I am with my appearance). I deserve to be happy and live life, no matter what I look like and no matter what stage my body is in. To whoever is reading this…you deserve to as well.

Well, I’m going to go eat dinner, watch a show or two, work on some homework, and go to bed. Then, tomorrow morning, I’m hitting the gym. :)

Healing isn't linear.

Recovery is going to be a rocky rough path of wobbles, sways, and swings.

But recovery is worth it. Living is worth it.