Incorrect Quotes With Paani,Kwazii,Tweak,And Captain Barnacles And Peso.

Incorrect Quotes With Paani,Kwazii,Tweak,And Captain Barnacles And Peso.

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Paani : Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.

Tweak: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.

Captain Barnacles : Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

Kwazii: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

- - -

Captain Barnacles: It’s time to turn this into a real business.

Tweak: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?

Kwazii: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?

Paani: I handle our accounting.

- - -

Kwazii: I feel like everyone on this island is suspicious, Paani. Except you!

Paani: But Kwazii, I think you're suspicious!

Kwazii: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

- - -

Kwazii: The time to act is now.

Kwazii: Wink, wink.

Paani : Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.

Kwazii: Oh, sorry.

Kwazii: Wink.

- - -

Kwazii , watching power lines fall down: , Paani ! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!

- - -

Paani : Damn, Tweak, are you secretly cool?

Tweak: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Paani : I do not.

- - -

Paani: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Peso: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Tweak: Drunk.

Kwazii: Wasted.

Captain Barnacles: Dead.

- - -

Captain Barnacles: I just want someone to take me out.

Paani: On a date?

Kwazii: With a sniper gun?

Tweak: Both if you're not a coward.

- - -

Paani : *Gives a bouquet to Kwazii*

Kwazii: You know I'm allergic.

Paani : That's the point.

- - -

Captain Barnacles : Didn't you die?!

Tweak: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

- - -

Tweak: The first time I ever got upset in front of Kwazii , they put their arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask them if they were hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

Kwazii : I was doing both, for your information.

Paani: The first time Kwazii hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn’t make eye contact for, like, a week after.

- - -

Tweak: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now.

Captain Barnacles: Uh, Kwazii and Paani are not getting along.

Tweak: They’re not trying to kill each other.

Captain Barnacles: You may have a point.

- - -

Tweak: War is heck!

- - -

Tweak: Kwazii's first detention, I'm so proud.

Paani: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention?

Captain Barnacles : Because they're an idiot.

Peso, terrified: They can do that?

- - -

Tweak: What’s up with Kwazii? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Captain Barnacles: They're just a little overwhelmed.

Tweak: Why?

Captain Barnacles: Paani smiled at them.

- - -

Paani : *dangling from a rope over a pit of fire* Remember when I said I’d tell you when we’re in too deep?

Kwazii: Yes?

Paani : We’re in too deep.

- - -

Tweak: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Kwazii: Um, murder???

Paani: Adventuring!

Captain Barnacles: Tuesday.

- - -

Peso: Good morning.

Captain Barnacles: Good morning.

Paani : Good morning.

Tweak: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Kwazii: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

- - -

Tweak: You have friends and I envy that.

Paani : You're welcome to share my friends.

Tweak: *looks at Captain Barnacles and Kwazii*

Tweak: I don't want those.

- - -

Kwazii: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?

Tweak: Not it!

Captain Barnacles: Not it!

Kwazii: ...Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.

- - -

Kwazii: ARE YOU-

Paani : Fucking.

Kwazii: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Paani : Fucking.

Kwazii: IDIOT!

Captain Barnacles: …What was that?

Paani : Tweak banned Kwazii from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

- - -

Paani: You three, explain right now!

Captain Barnacles: It was Kwazii.

Tweak: It was Kwazii.

Peso: It was Kwazii.

Kwazii:

Kwazii: …fuck..

- - -

Tweak: How late were you up last night?

Captain Barnacles & Paani, in tandem: Me?

Tweak: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.

Tweak, to Kwazii: You.

- - -

Peso: Uh, Tweak? Kwazii is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof.

Tweak: What?

Paani: I think Peso meant, Kwazii is drowning.

Tweak: WHAT?!

*Meanwhile*

Kwazii: *is drowning*

Captain Barnacles: OH MY GOD, Kwazii! KEEP SWIMMING!

Kwazii: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*

Captain Barnacles: Kwazii!

- - -

Tweak: Why is Kwazii crying on the floor?

Captain Barnacles: They took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.

Tweak: And?

Captain Barnacles: They got Paani

- - -

Tweak: I'm cold.

Paani: Here, take my hoodie.

*meanwhile*

Kwazii: I'm cold.

Captain Barnacles: I can't control the weather, Kwazii

- - -

Peso: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?

Captain Barnacles: IT.

Paani: Annabelle.

Tweak: Paranormal Activity.

Kwazii: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

- - -

Captain Barnacles: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Peso: It was Kwazii.

Paani : It was Kwazii.

Tweak: Kwazii broke it.

Kwazii:

Kwazii: ...yOU PROMISED-

- - -

Paani: Time for plan G.

Tweak: Don’t you mean plan B?

Paani: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Captain Barnacles : What about plan D?

Paani: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Kwazii: What about plan E?

Paani: I’m hoping not to use it. Peso dies in plan E.

Peso: I like plan E.

- - -

Paani: You know, Tweak gives Captain Barnacles flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Kwazii: Okay.

*Later*

Kwazii: *gives Captain Barnacles flowers*

Captain Barnacles: ???

Kwazii: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

- - -

Kwazii: Your smile? It makes my day.

Tweak: Your happiness? I live for that.

Captain Barnacles: A room? Get one.

Paani: Hotel? Trivago.

- - -

Paani : We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.

Captain Barnacles : Well, that was entirely predictable.

Paani : One of them punched a gang member.

Captain Barnacles : Kwazii?

Paani : Tweak, actually.

Captain Barnacles : Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

- - -

Paani: Are we really going to let Captain Barnacles keep Kwazii?

Peso: We kept Tweak.

- - -

Tweak: What's the worst thing you guys have done?

Peso: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade.

Paani: I kicked Kwazii in the shin-

Kwazii: -So I kicked Paani between the legs.

Captain Barnacles: I burned a town down.

Tweak: What?!

Kwazii: What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Captain Barnacles: A lot of things.

Paani: No shit.

- - -

Tweak: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Captain Barnacles: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Kwazii: Three of us saw it, Captain Barnacles. How do you explain that?

Captain Barnacles: *points at Peso* Sleep deprivation. *points at Kwazii* Paranoia. *points at Paani* Delusional personality disorder.

- - -

Captain Barnacles: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Peso: It was Kwazii.

Paani : It was Kwazii.

Tweak: Kwazii broke it.

Kwazii:

Kwazii: ...yOU PROMISED-

- - -