🌿✨🧚🏼‍Lapiscat Giveaway 🧚🏼‍✨🌿

This looks so cool!!

So excited!❄️🌲

but don’t stop dreaming.

Source for more facts on your dash follow NowYouKno

you can like both humanities and STEM.

you don’t have to “pick a side” and completely discard the other field after choosing your major.

you can like both science and art, and none is better than the other.

hey uh? i dont really know if this is real but im? kinda both scared and disgusted rn? even if you’re not muslim if you could spread this? i dont know how many muslim followers i have but, please, stay safe?

They can flip off this country all they want considering the fact it was theirs first.

A little late, but here’s my first week of bullet journaling :) loving the blue

[1/100 days of productivity] // started my multivariable calculus course

listening to: night changes - one direction

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

“what are they gonna do, fire me?”

Dear 2017,

I saw you described as a scooter to the ankle and I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with something more. You had your good moments, can’t deny that. I became an adult this year, how did that happen? I have cried more this year than I ever have. I have had a year filled with good and bad, of meetings and partings. I made friends this year I thought would be with me forever, people I thought would have my back, alas I lost them this year too, because they weren’t who I thought they were.

This year I saw people for what they were. 2017, you show me that seven years of friendship, years of me putting others first, of making sure everyone else was okay when I was hurting, boils down to nothing. Not when there are others who can manipulate and twist things. Not when others are louder. Not when your own voice has been reduced to nothing. Maybe I expected to much. Maybe I thought my friends knew me better than they did. Maybe I thought after everything they’d have my back. I wanted my friends to stick up for me and they didn’t. I’ve accepted that.

2017, you pushed me to my limit. You sent me trials that made me question everything I’ve done for the last 5 years. But you showed me that I am stronger than I thought. That I can cope with a lot more than I expected. You taught me that I will be fine. You showed me that even in my lowest moments I can keep going. You reminded me of the importance of family and helped me see who my real friends are.

2017, this year I took a leap and started writing my own novel. The characters that have been a comfort to me for longer than I can remember finally found a home. I found the confidence to start and starting is the hardest part. I doubted myself. I had lost all confidence in my own abilities. But I pushed myself. I started. And not only that but this year I decided what I wanted to do as a career. I was never going to be a doctor or a lawyer or teacher, I think everyone realised that in the end. But although I love acting I realised this year that my heart lies in my writing. When it makes me happy, when it’s all I think about, when all I can do is create stories morning till night I can’t see how I could do anything else. Writing has been the one true thing I have stuck with and it has given my over active imagination a playground.

2017, you were the year that made me realise I put others before myself too often, to a point where I was making myself ill. I will still always be there for the people I care about but now I understand that I need to look after myself too. Life is too short to spend it making myself miserable to make others happy. 2017, you taught me that everything will be okay, to have faith in myself and do what makes me happy. I start 2018 a different person, without the people I thought would never leave. But that’s okay. I don’t mind anymore. I can forgive you all that, 2017, I needed to know.

I start 2018 in a more positive position. I know it’s going to be difficult - that my A Levels are going to be stressful but it doesn’t last forever. ‘This too shall pass’ isn’t that the saying? And the Beth who starts 2019 will thank me for what I do in 2018. Who knows, she may even be proud.

I’m finally learning to take care of myself. 2017, you pushed me to get help for my anxiety, something I always said I didn’t need. I was wrong and you were right. I needed help. I couldn’t go on the way I was. I was in a downward spiral, 2017, and my mental health was worse than it ever had been. I thought I was going mad. I’ve got help though and people are aware now of how much I was suffering and how much I still suffer.

I am done changing myself to fit other people’s preferred view of me. I’ve only got one life and I am determined to live it as myself. Not someone else. I wrote once that ‘we all become stories’ and that we should ‘embrace the uniqueness of our own’ because ‘no one will ever have the same story as you’. Typical writer, I suppose. But whatever my story is, it will not be dictated by others. Thank you, 2017, for helping me see how much needed to change.

Goodbye, 2017, you’ve taught me a lot but I cannot say I am sad to see you go. Here’s to better days.

Beth

31/12/17