First Day Of School After Winter Break! I Was Sleepy The Entire Day But Math Woke Me Up.

this is one of the prettiest things I’ve made

Good News of 2017

❄ ! january monthly spread ! ❄

i like the minimalistic design of this one. i think the paper cranes (and the whale of course) add some velvet feeling to it (don’t mind my words lol).

on the left page is my ‘random idea bank’. basically you just write any ideas that come to your mind down and see if they develop into something further on, hahah. i think it’s a good way to sort out your thoughts ^-^

bad study habits to leave in 2017

cramming the night before. do a little every day and get a good night sleep before the test

procrastinating. promise yourself you’ll do 5 minutes of a task you’ve been putting off for a while. you’ll be surprised how quickly that 5 minutes turns into 10 and 10 into an hour and before you know it you’ll be done and able to enjoy guilt-free leisure time

not asking for help. make the most of your teachers and classmates who want you to succeed. don’t suffer in silence

saying yes to everything. it’s important to try new things but it’s also important to have enough spare time to see your friends and get enough sleep

being distracted. turn off the tv. turn off your phone. focus on studying so you can get your assignments done as efficiently as possible so you can enjoy your free time

not having a planner. this doesn’t have to be a beautiful bullet journal. just make sure you have a way of keeping on top of everything you have to do so you don’t get overwhelmed whether that’s in a store-bought diary or in you phone’s calendar

eating (too much) junk. fuel your body and your mind with fruit and veg. if you’re at university try cooking in bulk to keep costs down. you’ll be able to concentrate better if you’re eating well

not taking breaks. your brain needs to take breaks, even if you have a big test coming up. for every hour you spend studying take a 10 minute break and stretch/make a snack/take a shower/call a friend 

not rewarding yourself. take time to be proud of everything you’ve achieved so far. enjoy the success you’ve worked so hard for

Dear 2017,

I saw you described as a scooter to the ankle and I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with something more. You had your good moments, can’t deny that. I became an adult this year, how did that happen? I have cried more this year than I ever have. I have had a year filled with good and bad, of meetings and partings. I made friends this year I thought would be with me forever, people I thought would have my back, alas I lost them this year too, because they weren’t who I thought they were.

This year I saw people for what they were. 2017, you show me that seven years of friendship, years of me putting others first, of making sure everyone else was okay when I was hurting, boils down to nothing. Not when there are others who can manipulate and twist things. Not when others are louder. Not when your own voice has been reduced to nothing. Maybe I expected to much. Maybe I thought my friends knew me better than they did. Maybe I thought after everything they’d have my back. I wanted my friends to stick up for me and they didn’t. I’ve accepted that.

2017, you pushed me to my limit. You sent me trials that made me question everything I’ve done for the last 5 years. But you showed me that I am stronger than I thought. That I can cope with a lot more than I expected. You taught me that I will be fine. You showed me that even in my lowest moments I can keep going. You reminded me of the importance of family and helped me see who my real friends are.

2017, this year I took a leap and started writing my own novel. The characters that have been a comfort to me for longer than I can remember finally found a home. I found the confidence to start and starting is the hardest part. I doubted myself. I had lost all confidence in my own abilities. But I pushed myself. I started. And not only that but this year I decided what I wanted to do as a career. I was never going to be a doctor or a lawyer or teacher, I think everyone realised that in the end. But although I love acting I realised this year that my heart lies in my writing. When it makes me happy, when it’s all I think about, when all I can do is create stories morning till night I can’t see how I could do anything else. Writing has been the one true thing I have stuck with and it has given my over active imagination a playground.

2017, you were the year that made me realise I put others before myself too often, to a point where I was making myself ill. I will still always be there for the people I care about but now I understand that I need to look after myself too. Life is too short to spend it making myself miserable to make others happy. 2017, you taught me that everything will be okay, to have faith in myself and do what makes me happy. I start 2018 a different person, without the people I thought would never leave. But that’s okay. I don’t mind anymore. I can forgive you all that, 2017, I needed to know.

I start 2018 in a more positive position. I know it’s going to be difficult - that my A Levels are going to be stressful but it doesn’t last forever. ‘This too shall pass’ isn’t that the saying? And the Beth who starts 2019 will thank me for what I do in 2018. Who knows, she may even be proud.

I’m finally learning to take care of myself. 2017, you pushed me to get help for my anxiety, something I always said I didn’t need. I was wrong and you were right. I needed help. I couldn’t go on the way I was. I was in a downward spiral, 2017, and my mental health was worse than it ever had been. I thought I was going mad. I’ve got help though and people are aware now of how much I was suffering and how much I still suffer.

I am done changing myself to fit other people’s preferred view of me. I’ve only got one life and I am determined to live it as myself. Not someone else. I wrote once that ‘we all become stories’ and that we should ‘embrace the uniqueness of our own’ because ‘no one will ever have the same story as you’. Typical writer, I suppose. But whatever my story is, it will not be dictated by others. Thank you, 2017, for helping me see how much needed to change.

Goodbye, 2017, you’ve taught me a lot but I cannot say I am sad to see you go. Here’s to better days.

Beth

31/12/17

studying doesn’t have to be highlighters and a warm cup of coffee with sunlight shining through the window. it can be frantic reading, writing notes on scrap paper on a desk that barely fits your textbook because goddamn you just need to get this done is all.

studying isn’t an aesthetic, it’s learning. don’t let this fandom make you think otherwise.

you like about yourself, publicly, then send this on to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is super cool!) (and i love your blog, it's so pretty!!) ~ balie

(Okay so the ask got cut off, but I think it was 5 things I like about myself. Also, thank you so much!!! That’s so sweet!!!)

I really like my eyes. I know that’s really basic, but it’s one of the few things I like about my appearance.

I work really hard. Even if what I produce isn’t always the best, people can always count on me to show effort and people care and thought into my work.

I can be really energetic. I think this is pretty cool because I have classes at seven in the morning and people joke about how awake I am. 

I care about people a lot. I really try my best to make sure people know I care about them. I just really hope that people know that they have someone who cares about them.

I love to improve as a person. No one is perfect and lately, I have been trying to tell myself that while also telling myself that I can be an alright person. For example, a few months ago I probably wouldn’t have been able to come up with five things I like about myself. Now I am not afraid to show myself some appreciation

Anyway, thank you so much for sending this to me. I know it took me a while to respond, but I promise I didn’t forget!!! I have just been taking a few days off of social media, but I am back!!!

26.05.18 | tuesday | 6/100 days of productivity here’s my Mess ™ feat. DNA notes. sometimes i stress out over how little i achieve but then i remember that everyone’s speed is different and that’s okay! today i studied DNA and RNA and did some trigonometry practice. also i did some bio tests in the format of my state exam an the result was surprisingly good - i scored 40-something points when i actually don’t know anything - my goal is to make it at least 80 points in one year and a half.

is studyblr even alive anymore

real quick lil warm up thing  (人◕ω◕)