Back On The Bjm Train?? What Can I Say, I Never Really Left It. Anyway, I’m Here To List My (current)

If its more than one of these, vote the one that was strongest and/or lasted the longest.

I wanted to be a marine illustrator !! Like for textbooks n stuff

BJM MONTH BEGINS TOMORROW!!! what is bjm month you may ask? well for the past two years i have listened to the brian jonestown massacre the most in july so i've dubbed it bjm month. i am still heavily obsessed with this band and listen to them all the time, there's not a day that goes by i don't think about them. may have to talk about my top songs or albums or something, i just need to make sure to do something special for this month! show my appreciation for this band and how much they've changed my life. hard to believe it's been 2 years... actually my 2 year anniversary of listening to them was YESTERDAY. didn't even realize until now. june 29, 2021... wow. first laid ears on anemone, then pish, then drained. what a way to start off my bjm era. clearly my interest was most caught by fingertips and vad hande med dem, and so it all began. still thanking the spotify gods and my own interest for this, who would i even be now without bjm.

but! yeah, considering i'm their biggest fan ( don't even bother arguing with me on this <3 ) i think i owe bjm some rants and raves so look forward to that. and i am going to talk about my very precise detective work when it comes to this band. there are new things i have discovered. they will be shared.

UMMMMMMMMM ???????? am literally going to freak out flip a table throw my foot through a wall who knows but I AM SO EXCITED. and alas no one will care so here i come to tumblr to word vomit my feelings.

ANYWAY. as no one knows but now you do, i'm going to see bjm on october 28th at psych fest / levitation. AS WELL AS THE DANDY WARHOLS. and i was like hmmmm, i wonder what bjm's setlist looks like for levitation, bc usually they only play their recent music. well let me tell you my jaw DROPPED when i looked it up on youtube. their austin setlist?? FUCKING STACKED. at least it was ten years ago. super-sonic, wisdom, you have been disconnected, vacuum boots, oh lord ( with the dandy warhols, and if anton and courtney play together again i will literally fucking die on the spot ), servo, GOT MY EYE ON YOU??? and yes yes i know matt hollywood won't be around for this but if they play something off of strung out in heaven i might actually start sobbing. like i've already accepted that i'm going to cry during this concert bc it'll be one of the best days of my entire life, but full on sobbing my eyes out ?? may just happen. my poor friend gyna is never going to see me the same bc i'm gonna be the only one ugly crying over a psychedelic rock band that no one gives a shit about. WELL I DO. clearly.

anyway the very idea that they may play some of these songs, or literally ANY OLD SONGS AT ALL, is hyping me up so much i can't even describe how fucking excited i am. like this is more excitement than joel gion's memoir. and if they play goddamn super-sonic, i'm not just going to cry, i'm going to scream.

now i've said it before and i'll say it again : i'm not gonna be the same person after october 28th. i will be fundamentally changed as a human being. THAT'S a promise.

november of 2020, red barrels did a charity stream for extralife that was pretty lowkey. sadly, only a few people attended, so i’d like to document the info we got from writer jt petty for the fandom!

i’ll divide what we discussed during red barrels’ charity stream into sections: games and comics. some of this could be misremembered or misquoted, but i’m trying to stick by the facts that i recall.

OUTLAST & WHISTLEBLOWER:

outlast is, as a matter of fact, under the ‘dating sim’ category on steam. jt says that he wrote a lot of the characters in this mindset. he also said it probably says more about him than the characters.

miles is the kind of guy to get fussed about the difference between ‘carport’ and 'garage’ and 'eclair’ and 'boston creme’. this is about the only insight we got into his personality, because jt couldn’t talk about him: miles and waylon were pretty firmly off limits.

as for waylon, his taste in music is heavy metal! he’s kind of the cool dad, or at least perpetuates the cool dad myth. he would definitely play mario kart with his two boys. gamer dad!

chris walker was from a military family. after returning home from afghanistan, he struggled to make a return to normalcy, and didn’t have many connections to others nor friendships. jt doesn’t believe he was ever involved romantically. he said that he feels chris was in the process of trying to heal by looking for something to protect. chris is also his and vincent’s favorite character.

father martin enjoyed painting landscapes before the art therapy program was cut by helen grant, according to red barrels. when asked if he liked bob ross, they responded, ‘who doesn’t?’ when my friend said that he was the creepiest character in outlast, jt said that’s totally on her.

rick trager was born into money, and his father’s estate and success made it nigh impossible for him to measure up to his legacy. he was the classic disappointment son of a billionaire and never lived up to his father’s expectations. in a bit of trivia, we learned his favorite food is croissants: spinach croissants in particular, because he hates himself. jt also mentioned that rick likely believed he would really profit from selling the body parts he amputated from the variants and miles, and figured he would make out just fine. and that, ‘he probably will.’ if he had a dog, it would probably be something sickly and overbred, like a pug.

langin is named after jt’s wife. he names characters he dislikes after people he likes, and vice versa.

jeremy blaire is probably the most reprehensible character in outlast: the one who is most capable of assuming responsibility for his actions, a face to the name of the murkoff corporation. he enjoys christmas because of the capitalist reason for the season. he would probably give pretty lousy and cheap gifts to his employees. he’s named after two people jt likes.

furthermore, murkoff isn’t the sort of company that gives permission for holiday parties during work hours: if you want to celebrate at all, you do it on your own time or your break.

frank manera would probably be a fan of phil collins’ music since his songs often have a very slow buildup before the payoff. jt interestingly compared this to cannibalism, and how it requires dedicated patience. frank had to go without before indulging in human meat.

frank would most likely get along very well with eddie if they’d met under different circumstances, such as at a party. he sees the two of them as being very unlikely friends, the two dissimilar guys you never expect to get along as well as they do.

eddie was jt’s favorite character to write for due to his ‘flirtatious’ and fun dialogue. he truly believes in his delusions, or rather that they aren’t delusions at all; he was described as being blind to everything else around him when he thinks that he’s in love. if he had a dog, it would be a corgi.

OUTLAST II:

lynn was inspired by people jt has met in the film industry, and her ambition highlights that.

knoth is pretty cultured when it comes to his taste in music, and he has a lot of knowledge of older artists. i believe jt said that he mostly enjoys the blues. if he had a dog, it would have attachment issues and be extremely eager to please, like a shepherd or cattle dog.

marta’s goal of becoming perfectly brainwashed to the doctrine of temple gate was realized. in trying to please knoth, she erased any lingering doubts or traces of guilt in what she was doing, and she no longer feels much emotion at all due to how she has absorbed the cult’s mentality. she is ultimately feared because she is the perfect example of obedience to knoth.

she/her pronouns were used for val. jt corrected himself quickly to they/them, but it still stands.

jenny roland, the pathologist mentioned in documents in both the underground lab from outlast and well-hidden field report from the lake chapter of outlast 2, may very well make an appearance in future games. she seems to be quite important, as jt couldn’t talk about her outside of one personality detail i got out of him: she doesn’t wear either slippers or socks in her home because she’s a clean freak and instead goes barefoot. she’s the sort of person to have everything neatly organized in her home, all the shoes lined up by the door, and not a speck of dust in sight. he was pretty genuinely surprised by all the interest in her character, and red barrels suggested making joke merch for her. socks and maybe fingerless gloves? i’d honestly buy some jenny socks.

THE COMICS:

jt said that the pauls (the two murkoff legal mitigation officers, paul marion and pauline glick) are going to be increasingly relevant to the story of outlast as it continues, and that he has big plans to continue where the comics left off. given this tidbit, and the epilogue of the story, could we possibly see paul as future protagonist, or maybe in pauline’s case, a future major antagonist? at least there’s now solid hope for a follow up to the story of the comics, and possibly an explanation as to what led to paul and pauline’s injuries, as well as murkoff’s haste to find paul before he does further damage. his story left off with simon telling him that they have to find the walrider in order to find the answer to where his daughter alice has disappeared to, after all.

likewise, he hinted that alice marion (paul’s daughter) is also going to somehow be crucially important, making mention of the circumstances of her rare blood disease and experimental gene therapy treatment by the murkoff corporation not being any sort of coincidence, and saying that he has big plans for her. could this mean that simon was telling the truth about her connection to temple gate? is she somehow connected to the morphogenic engine? could this also be why pauline says that paul was her target from the beginning? mysterious!

he talked about how the concept for paul marion was created, and how at his core, he’s just a guy doing a job. his dreamcast for paul would be philip seymour hoffman.

a bit of interesting talk about the 'personality’ of the walrider when questioned if miles likes dogs. since his neighbor says they like him, but they reacted violently to his returned presence at his apartment after the mount massive incident, i asked if miles likes dogs as well as they like him. jt and red barrels implied, rather than stating outright, that the walrider itself doesn’t like dogs. it was also mentioned that it’s very protective and overly defensive, very attached to one person, and unwilling to share. interesting attributes given to something that isn’t supposed to be sentient. (edit: later confirmed by jt in one of the anniversary q&a videos to be a sort of sentient hive mind.)

simon peacock is named after the voice director the character himself was voiced by at the end of whistleblower. however, unlike the real simon peacock, the fictional simon is not from new zealand. is he faking an accent? his character will also be further explored as the story continues!

MISCELLANEOUS:

i knew that trials was a topic that couldn’t be talked about, but still suggested my theory on the story connecting back to the mkultra documents found in mount massive in the first game. jt asked if i was someone from red barrels trying to get him in trouble. i think this speaks for itself. :)

he has a giant pet lop bunny named holly! 10/10! would donate to the cause again just for her!

red barrels said that they’re still accepting merch ideas before reopening the store, and to message them if there’s anything in particular anyone would be interested in seeing. the physical copy of the comics will be restocked in the future, and they may restock other items previously seen in the store. they like to make joke merch, too, so keep that in mind!

and that’s about everything outlast related that i can recollect! is there anything you guys are excited about in particular? personally, i’m totally psyched about the hints towards resolving the comics, and the importance of the marions going forward, since they’ve been my favorite characters for quite a long time. feel free to correct anything here if i’ve misquoted. it’s been a few weeks, and my original notes were very short and to the point.

HELLO XPHILESBLR i have returned!!!!!!!!!!!

experimented a lot with this one and i hope u guys like it :)

Patriot 01x08 — “L'Affaire Contre John Lakeman”

thought about michael dawson today. thought about the inherent tragedy of his story, how wound together he and walt are even after being wrongly separated for years, how losing his son so long ago culminated into this horrifically intense need to protect him from any harm, even harm that’s wrongly perceived. how this man is the answer for “would you kill for your child?” and how horribly the main cast failed him in season two. mostly, i thought about how much i love this character and how sometimes i feel like i’m his #1 fan because DEAR GOD the michael hate runs deep and you guys just don’t understand him like i do. oh michael how you fucked up so bad and yet i love you even more for it. i don’t think i’d enjoy the first two seasons of this show nearly as much if michael wasn’t present in them… thank you lost creators for michael. thank you harold perrineau for playing this character so fucking well bc god damn!!!! michael truly lives in my head rent free and i cannot get over literally everything about him. help