💌 . . . First Kisses ! With Dream

baby don’t stop x be natural

(can this collab please happen)

Reblog if you can proudly admit you've never sent anon hate.

🗝 Stray Kids as The Hashiras; Demon Slayer crossover ⚔️

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

in which...

you hate heeseung. you hate his snobby little voice, his stupid little glasses that are too big for him, his nosiness, and his ability to prove anything or anyone wrong easily. you hate hate hate the way you try to avoid him, but somehow he’s always around, and he can’t see how much you hate him. you swear nothing could make you like him, but after you get caught in a sticky situation with him playing your knight in shining armor, you realize that maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

pairing — heeseung x fem!reader

genre — one sided enemies to lovers, highschool au, he falls first she falls harder, oblivious x obvious, tutor x tutoree (kind of), childhood friends (ish because the whole one sided enemies thing) to lovers, long fic

wordcount — 19.7k (oops!)

warnings — profanity, kissing, miscommunication, parties/underage drinking, reader gets called and calls someone a bitch, food, violence (but literally just one slap and reader thinks about it but doesn't), yn is kind of the problem LMFAO, mentions of vomiting but no actual vomitting.

featuring — lia of itzy, miyeon of g-idle, hyung line of enhypen (sorry maknaes too many people), ocs : sooyun + teachers

disclaimer — i am not saying this is an accurate representation of these idols or trying to sexualize them at all. this is just something i do for fun.

yenqa — wow okay. ive been working on this since literally january 1st. i cant believe i actually finished this 😭 but if you’re reading (or about to) thank you! and i hope you enjoy months of my hard work <3

YOU WATCH AS THE SNOW FALLS SLOWLY TO THE GROUND

A blanket of white has got you and the guests at your house locked in for the night. You weren’t very happy with these strangers staying at your house for the night—In fact, you had just been completely shut down by your dad when you asked him to kick them out. It was obvious why he did that, but this definitely had to be your least favorite christmas out of the eight you had been through.

You snap out of your thoughts, continuing to eat whatever you had left on your plate, hesitating when you saw the amount of vegetables still left.

“Mom! I’m full.” You try to hide your plate from her, showing her instead a pout with a hand on your stomach. 

It didn’t work—obviously, so you were stuck at the table, a frown on your face as you forced in the greens. Across from you, a boy your age, who didn’t seem to mind, he almost looked like he was enjoying it.

That’s impossible though, no one likes vegetables. Maybe he was doing it so Santa would get him an extra special gift?

You grumble when he finishes his place, showcasing his plate that had been licked clean to his mom. He stared at you for a second looking down at your—full plate then looking back at his mom, she said “Great job Heeseung!”. He returns his plate to the table with a smile. 

Stabbing your fork back into your food, you stuff it into your face, hoping that you would enjoy it as much as Heeseung did. Again, it didn’t work, and the bitter taste returned to your mouth.

After what felt like hours of groaning and complaining, you had taken the last bite of your food, a proud smirk on your face when you made eye contact with the boy from earlier, who only smiled at you in return. 

Throwing away your plastic plate, you realized that now it was present time, and Santa just had to reward you for your good deeds.

Rushing over to the tree, you spot everyone gathered around the area, opening their presents. You run to your present, recognizing the wrapping paper from last year. Looking at your mom for approval, she nods and you tear apart the paper, lifting up the box inside.

You squeal when you see the picture, you had been begging your mom for weeks for a Lego set, specifically if it was minecraft themed. And Santa had gotten you just that. You hug the box, squeezing it. You exclaim a loud “Thank you Santa!” before running up to your room to assemble the build.

Reading the directions, you start the house, quickly getting confused on how it isn’t looking like how it does in the picture. 

“I think that’s the wrong piece.” A voice says, you whip your head around to see the same boy who sat across from you.

“Who are you?” Your eyebrows furrow at the sight, confused on why those were the first words he said instead of “Hi!” or something.

“My name’s Heeseung—Um, my mom told me to come upstairs and said we should be friends. Do you want to be friends?” He chuckles awkwardly.

You huff, “I’m Y/n. Also no, I don’t want to be friends, you’re mean.” You force your legos together, frustrated already with the pieces. You continue to reread the directions, pushing—what you think are—the exact legos to the board. But it doesn’t seem like it’ll fit. Maybe if you push it harder?

“Oh—okay.” You jump slightly, too focused to realize how he's been watching you for the past few minutes. “Do you need some help?”

Yes, you need help. But did you want to accept his help?  This was your christmas gift from Santa, you shouldn’t have to share.

Glancing at the picture then to the building that had looked like an abstract rendition of it, you let out a sigh. I mean, it wouldn’t hurt, right? “Yeah, I guess.”

He takes a seat on the carpet next to you, focusing hard on the directions before breaking off the wrong pieces, reassembling it so you’ll be on the right track.

“Does this go here, do you think?” “No, it goes here.”  That was a summary of what the conversation was between you, and somehow you were always the one asking the question. Sighing, you lean back, taking a short stretch break before starting again.

You’re shocked at his speed and efficiency, it almost seems like he’s always a step ahead of you. Geez does this guy ever slow down? 

The roles are quickly switched as you are sitting watching him instead. Rummaging through each box only for his eyes to lighten up one he finds the right one. You watch him for a while, getting a break that you very much needed.

You hope that he waits for you to finish it, or that he doesn’t completely do it all by himself because again,  it’s your Christmas gift, and he wouldn’t do that, right?

Not right, because apparently he’s a machine—he finishes the build. He stands up, pushes his stupid glasses up also and smiles at you, heading to the door. You think he’s going to say something else like “Sorry for taking away your present!” instead, he thanks you for sharing and happily skipping away. 

Heeseung. Even his name infuriates you. He was very unpredictable and you hated that. Why did he just do that? He’s so rude. People don’t make sense—especially boys, they have cooties.

Your head was filled with calling him the rudest things you could think of—You even said a few curse words.

Though later you realized that you probably would never see him again, you were ecstatic, so ecstatic you had disassembled your legos just to rebuild it, to completely forget about your bad experience with the boy. 

Only two weeks later were you disappointed to see that same boy, sitting across from you during dinner once again.

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY WAS THE PEN LIA FOUND ON THE GROUND.

It was a bright magenta color, topped with a donut at the very top. She showcased it proudly to you both, then happily tucking it into her pocket.

“I need a new pen, I keep losing mine! I think I’ve blown off so much money buying new school supplies” Miyeon sighed, tucking her hair back behind her ear.

“That must suck considering you didn’t just find the cutest pen ever!” She shoves the pen in Miyeon’s face, spinning it around boastfully.

“Well that magenta color is ugly!” Miyeon snaps, and they start bickering over if the pen is cute or not.

Not this again. Every morning they have some kind of debate, whether it’s whose outfit is cuter to who does Mr. Park (their astrology teacher) like more.

Though, no side ever ends up winning since they are quickly distracted by the loud ringing sound blaring through the speakers. 

It’s like a ritual at this point, a staple to your morning routine—which also felt like a staple to your head because god were they loud.

Sometimes, you forget they even are friends until the bell rings, always happily skipping off to their class hand in hand. Which happens every time but no one seems to comment on it.

“Y/n, is this pen cute or not?” 

You did not want to engage in this conversation at all, in fact you think a staple in the head would be nicer. But the ones above decided to look away from you, leaving you stuck in between their quarrel.

“Well I think-”

You’re quickly cut off—Thank god you’re cut off—by the bell. Quickly, you wave your goodbyes and start walking to the other side of the school to your first period. Step after step you walk past each classroom, looking in to see if you know anybody in each—

“Hey Y/n!” 

You whip your head back to see Heeseung’s snobby little face. You hadn’t actually talked to the guy in months considering you two have such close connections. He was wearing a black hoodie and some baggy jeans, his glasses layed low on his nose, leaving you wonder how he can even see if they were that low. He looked horrible. 

Okay maybe it wasn’t that bad.

 Rolling your eyes, you ask, “What do you want?”

“Your mom said you needed some help in physics? If you needed help you could’ve just asked y’know.” He shrugs, keeping up with your pace even though you’re doing everything you can to leave him behind. Fuck those long legs.

“Leave me the fuck alone Heeseung, I don’t want your help.” 

“Are you sure? I’d be happy to help-”

You put your hand up, stopping him right in front of the classroom, “No, I don’t need your help Heeseung, I’m fine on my own.” 

Turning your head to his, you give him the nastiest glare you could muster, then walking to your seat—which was right next to his but you’ll think about the details later.

Sometimes you wished you could take three seconds before saying things because you definitely needed the help, you both knew it. 

Anyone who had eyes could see that you were visibly struggling every time any physics related object was placed in front of you. The quiet room was often filled with your sighs and the loud erasing of your pencil, sometimes inducing a chuckle or two that would always end in a dirty look from you.

The bell rings soon afterwards and Ms. Nam never misses a beat to start taking attendance, which makes it impossible to ever be tardy without her noticing.

Though it doesn’t seem to work as well as she thinks it does, people who don’t care about their attendance, don’t show up anyways. 

She never misses a beat either, she takes a sip from her mug then jumps up to teach, what you would do to see her falter just once–

“No spacing out in my classroom! Eyes up here everyone!” She makes eye contact with you–or the person in front of you, you couldn’t really tell, clicks her tongue, then continues reading. You groan internally, moving your eyes to zone out right on the board.

There seems like no end to her endless amount of explaining directions (which are on the board and everyone can read) and yelling at people who are talking–until there finally is.

After what felt like the whole class period she points to the table up front not being able to stop explaining why she does everything she does, including making it a big deal that the desk up front is where the worksheet is, and to not ask her where it is or where to turn it in. 

She shuts up–finally, and the class gets up to the front of the class, taking worksheets for themself. 

You’re about to get up when the crowd around the paper dies down when Lee Heeseung stops in front of you, saying he grabbed an extra one by accident and hands it to you.

He did not get an extra one on accident.

He just wanted to get your attention.

A simple plan, and completely foolproof– a win-win situation really. He gets to have your attention for an extra second, and you get your paper without having to walk up. 

He pats himself on the back internally, before plopping down on his seat, right next to yours.

“Thank you?” You mutter, giving him a confused look.

He chuckles, shaking his head before looking down on his work.

Heeseung ignores the dirty look you give him–even though he’s not sure why you hate him so much, he ignores that too. Pretending in the little movie in his mind that you really really like him.

Scanning the worksheet, he rolls his eyes, not a single inch of his body wants to do this useless assignment but he forces himself anyways, internally groaning at every question.

Finishing the first three he moves onto the last question on that side of the page, he looks up at the clock, noticing that only ten minutes had passed.

He then lowers his eyes to your hunched over picture, glancing at the paper below you to only see a sentence written on the first question.

I don’t know?????

He watches as you giggle at your own antics. Letting out a breathy laugh himself while you hurriedly erase it and look around to see how much progress other people made.

Your eyes soon turn to his, locking eyes with him before giving him side eye-ing while looking away. Seems like Heeseung was on a roll today with your nasty looks, because that was his second today!

“Hey do you want some help?” He asks, and if he could slap his hand over his mouth–and maybe choke himself in the process if he wouldn’t look like a total weirdo to stop himself from saying that–He would. Though the words came out before he could even process that he wanted to help you, he tries to look the most genuine he can–just so you don’t get the wrong idea.

Sighing you look at him, mumbling, “No.”

He reads the question you’re on anyways. He can feel his heart start to race. His stomach tingles as he scoots his chair closer to yours, rereading the question at the top of the page.

“The mass is 32 grams and the velocity is 3 miles per hour. Do you know the formula for finding the amount of kinetic energy?”

“Umm– that’s why I’m still on the first question.” Oh lord.

He blinks once, then continues, “Oh! Sorry! Okay, so you would multiply the mass by ½ and then multiply that by the velocity squared. It’s simple math really.”

You stare at him through the corner of your eye, and Heeseung notices.

“I mean, that’s like middle school math. I’d be a little worried if you were struggling with a 12-year-olds problems-”

“Okay, that’s enough!”

His mouth is immediately zipped shut as he watches you do the math on your page, staring as your hands move delicately to write every number carefully. “It’s 144, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay–I don’t want your help, Heeseung.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Are you sure? I’m fine with helping you with the whole thing.”

You almost scoff, “I’m fine! Thank you so much for asking.” You turn your head away from his, gluing your eyes to the worksheet. 

Met with the paper once again you’re in the same position you were five minutes ago, you had forgotten half–if not all these vocabulary words and didn’t understand a single thing he had said.

So you continued to zone out on the paper, rethinking every single life choice you had made up until this point of your life.

Maybe if you hadn’t worn that blue sweater last week–

“Y/n! How’s the worksheet going?” You whip your head to the sound, to see Ms. Nam’s smiley face–exactly like a robot. You’re convinced that you could write an essay on how she’s definitely not real, how she’s an alien or some artificial intelligence trying to fit in with other humans by becoming a teacher, it’ll surely be better than any other essay you’ve written–And maybe it could be your college essay.

You blink twice before completely processing her implements, looking down at your paper you subtly try to cover it in shame, trying to charm her with a small smile. “Great! I’m doing so great!”

She laughs wholeheartedly even though it wasn’t that funny. Finally she stops, looks down on your paper and silently judges all your silly doodles around the border.

Clicking her tongue–you hate it when she does that– Ms. Nam smiles, “If you need any help, you can just ask me Y/n.”

“Okay, thank you.” You don’t want her help at all, you think that Lee Heeseung would be a better company than her.

“Or you could ask your classmates!” She exclaims, acting like she discovered dinosaurs or something, “Your seatmate, Heeseung is very gifted in this subject! He’ll be very helpful if you need it!”

Okay maybe the offer for her help sounded pretty good right now. You look over to him to see a shy smile on his face, your eyebrows furrow at his innocent expression. You wish you could punch that stupid–

YOU THINK YOU’LL DIE TOMORROW IF ANYTHING ELSE GOES BAD FOR YOU.

It almost felt like the universe was plotting against you—okay maybe a bit dramatic but who could blame you? Your mom just told you the Lee’s were coming over for dinner.

“On a Tuesday? Any specific reason?”

Your mom chuckles, “I just wanted to see them honey, they’re family friends after all. And they haven’t come over for a while.”

“Didn’t they come over two weeks ago?”

“Last month, that’s a long time compared to someone who sees their friends everyday!” Your mom shrugs, cutting some green onions.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. Sighing, you mentally raise a white flag, telling your mom that you were heading up to your room.

Letting out a sigh of relief you drop your backpack on the ground, staring at your room for a little bit too tired to decide what to do next. But, you pull yourself together, plugging in your phone and deciding if your outfit was good enough for guests to see. 

Shrugging at your reflection, you move to sit down by your desk, starting on your assignments that you hadn’t finished because you were too busy messing around with your friends.

After finishing one assignment, you check your phone for messages, or just to cure your boredom. It was always a huge mistake on your part, but old habits die hard, right?

Wasting an hour just messing around on your phone, you begrudgingly put it back down, starting on some reading in the fat textbook laid ahead of you.

It seems like angels singing from heaven when your mom calls you down for dinner, because you’re sick of all these big words blending together in the textbook.

You're halfway down the stairs before realizing that the bane of your existence will be there. The lightened mood you once had now dropping leaving you wishing you could crawl back into your desk chair and pretend you hadn’t heard anything.

It was a shame that you were starving, so there was no excuse for you not to eat dinner with them. Mentally preparing yourself you walk down the few steps left, almost immediately being greeted by your Heeseung’s mom.

You're surprised to see no Heeseung in sight, just his smiley parents who are always happy to see you. You look around once more before asking “Where’s Heeseung, Auntie Lee?”

You don’t care, of course. But you can’t say you weren’t happy that his seat was left cold and untouched. 

“He’s at the library, tutoring other students! ‘Said he wouldn't make it to dinner but he’ll be here later Y/n sweetie, don’t worry about him.”

Smiling, you nod acting like you give a fuck about him before taking your seat next to his empty one.

The dinner is going fine. Dining with people who are triple your age and too proper to be comfortable with isn’t really your favorite thing to do but it’s much better than having to do the same with the chair next to you being used.

Feeling optimistic you happily chow down the food your mother has served, relishing in the satisfying dish. 

“So, Y/n how’s school?” Heeseung’s dad stares you down. It’s a very typical parent question they usually ask you to include you in somehow. You always have the same answer every time.

You put on a smile for him, “It’s good! Just a little homework here and there. The same old usual.”  You’re careful not to ask about his work, not wanting to hear his whole dinner rant about how his coworkers or his boss is annoying the crap out of him. Instead you ask, “Have you been golfing recently?”

His eyes lighten and you know you asked the right question. “Just Sunday I went! I dragged Heeseung with me because everyone was busy” Letting out a hearty laugh, he continued. “He’s great at everything he does! He could be a professional if I pushed him harder!”

Chuckling to hide your hatred for his boy, you answer, “Better late than never, right Uncle Lee?”

“Yes! Exactly Y/n! Anyways–”

He’s cut off by the doorbell and everybody stares at your mom in confusion. You stand up letting everyone know to continue eating without you as you walk to the front door. Unlocking it, you stare up slightly to see Heeseung’s awkward smile. 

“Thought you weren’t supposed to make it to dinner?” You squint at him, moving to the side to let him in, watching as he takes his shoes off. 

He chuckles, “Did you miss me or something?”

“Are you stupid?”

His smile falls slightly, so slightly you’d miss it if you weren’t glaring at him so hard. 

“They canceled, some family issues came up.”

“Why’d you come so late then?”

“Told me thirty minutes after it started, I knew you missed me.” Nudging you with his elbow he waits for you to start walking to the dining table.

You push him to the wall. 

Then you start walking to the dinner table.

Walking until they spot you, you notice everyone's smile and kind greetings as he shyly waves to your parents. Seems like the mood is lighter now that he’s here, but your mood definitely lowers. He sits at his usual spot and you sit in your old spot. Right across from each other.

It’s crazy to you how much he can change from in front of you and your parents. He acts like he’s the most humble but smartest man alive and he’s yet to find out. He’s kind to you too, no teasing remarks, just smiles in your direction. You don’t smile back, moving your gaze elsewhere. It’s a shame, he is smart, but humble? You could definitely tick off a few points for him.

You don’t act differently, other than obviously not bickering with Heeseung in front of his parents. You’re tolerating him, it’s the most kindness you could give him after all.

Heeseung isn’t humble, if you could describe him in a word it would be weird. Heeseung is weird.

The aftermath of dinner was a huge bang.

It would be if you decided to slam the textbook into your head–which seemed like a pretty good option. 

This time though, you were not being dramatic, because when you finished dinner you excused yourself to your room. Finishing your reading and the questions. 

Unfortunately, you only had your physics homework left. And obviously physics is the best subject to exist. Ever.

It was so awesome that it had you staring into the textbook. Trying to process what the hell they were talking about in the text.

Rereading and rereading again and again, makes you wonder why you even try. Because it seems the only words you understood were the determiners that connected each intricate word. 

Sighing, you close your book, leaning back in your desk chair. Closing your eyes you let yourself take a minute break.

It’s silent in your room, letting you focus on the small background noise of your parents conversing, probably talking about work, or you. Usually it’s you. 

You didn’t mind though, if they talked bad it wasn’t in front of your face at least.

“Want any help? I dabble.”

You let out a scream, feeling your heart race as his unexpected entrance to your room.

Letting your face contort into a disgusted look you retort, “Jeez, no knock or anything? It’s like you’re out to kill me, Heeseung.”

“I think it’s the other way around, plus you know how good I am, I literally helped you in physics today.”

“No, I don’t want your help. Also “dabble”? Don’t act like you’re an eighty year old man.”

He laughs, raising his arms in surrender before taking a seat on your carpet floor.

You almost feel bad for the man, your nice, cozy bed is sitting right next to him but he sits on the floor. Which you definitely haven’t vacuumed for a while.

Turning back to your textbook you mutter, “You can sit on my bed, just sit on top of the blanket.” 

A smile spreads through his face as he plops down onto your blanket, careful not to touch the mattress or any of your pillows. You nod in thanks for not getting his dirty outside clothes on your clean bed.

You’re not sure if he notices or not but he doesn’t say anything so you decide to leave it at that.

Refocusing on the textbook, you reread the words for at least the third time, flipping to the vocabulary page for each word you don’t understand–which was most of them so it must’ve been a funny sight watching your head go between two pages repeatedly.

You start to lose hope quickly, you read the question on your packet then reread the whole page. Scanning for any answer that actually could make sense with the question.

You were starting to enjoy the quiet that Heeseung had given you, whipping your head to see what he was doing to be so abnormally quiet you instead make eye contact.

There’s a weird prolonged moment of silence before you say, “You freak, why were you watching me do my homework?”

His eyes crinkle as he breaks out into a smile, “Was waiting until you would crack.”

“I don’t have any drugs on me.”

“Not that kind, Y/n. Didn’t take you as a bad girl,” He chuckles.

“I’ll be an annoyed girl if you don’t let me finish my work in peace.” You retort, rolling your eyes at whatever he’s implying. His smile turns into a smirk, and just by his face you can tell he has a smart way to annoy you.

“Y’know I could help, if you asked me.”

“Get over here and help me then?” Your eyebrows furrow. You’re ready to watch him rush over to you but instead he stays still.

He crosses his arms, cocking one of his eyebrows, “Asked me with a pretty please.” He adds.

You spin your chair back to the desk, eyes set back to the paper, “Kinky. No thanks.”

He leans back onto your blanket, sighing, “Your loss, we could be done with those questions in twenty minutes if you said so.”

You try not to get your eyes stuck behind your head from the amount of times you’ve rolled your eyes in the past three minutes.

It’s been pretty effective other than the fact you think it would be better to get your eyes stuck to get away from this homework.

You mean, Heeseung wasn’t the worst help last time, right? 

Just this once you would ask him a favor.

Spinning around once again, you call out his name. 

He looks up at you, instead of the sly smirk you expected, it’s weirdly soft. Whatever, just get this over with. 

“Can you help me with this homework, pretty please?” 

It sounded a little too desperate for your liking but you definitely were desperate. His soft gaze quickly turns into the smug look you’re used to.

He gets up from your comfortable bed, walking over to you, towering over your seated self.

“You’re on question two?” He stifles a laugh, but you can tell he’s teasing you.

“Oh wow he can read!” 

Pointing to your textbook, you look up at him. “Just explain this section to me.”

And he does. You hate to admit it but he really does help. What would’ve taken you hours to finish you had completed it in just under thirty minutes.

Which was very surprising considering that you had a million more questions than answers, but he was patient. Which you didn’t like. 

How could he be so patient with you when you’re asking questions like a broken cd? It’s almost suffocating how patient he was, it was like he had completely switched to a different persona. 

How weird.

Once you’re finished you both sit on your bed in silence, but it was weirdly comfortable. You didn’t like anything about that guy, so why were you not kicking him out of your room?

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when he decides that it’s time for him to go home, he’s almost out of your room when you gain the courage to call out his name once again. 

He stops in your doorframe, turning back to face you. You look down, unable to see–probably a smug look before pausing for a second and muttering, “Thank you.” 

You look up again, surprised to see he doesn’t tease you, he doesn’t laugh, he doesn’t ask you to repeat it and yell it to the whole country. Instead he smiles, and nods before walking out your door.

Heeseung is weird, really weird.

“I THINK YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION NOW, Y/N.”

You don’t know how you keep getting into this predicament. Where you’re stuck asking the worst man to exist on how to find the answer to half of the questions but it always happens. 

This time you had a plan. Ask literally anyone around you, then the teacher, then maybe the Cheeto crumbs on the floor from previous classes, then Heeseung.

So you tried, but turns out everyone in that class had one big friend group that excluded you and Heeseung so you gave up on that.

Then Ms. Nam. You had grown up the confidence to ask her only for her to reread the question in a stricter tone.

So absolutely no help at all because you had read the problem at least three times, and you definitely couldn’t ask her for help again or else you think she might use her robot powers on you.

Which left you with one live option. Which definitely was the worse out of the two.

“That wasn’t funny.” You huff, you turn your paper so he can see it clearly.

He leans over to your desk, and you don’t miss the way his eyes flicker from your lips to the paper.

He scoots his chair even closer to you, and you try not to flinch at his warmth that seems to fill up your senses all at once. You let out an awkward chuckle to express your uncomfortability, but he keeps reading the question you’re on.

“I told you if you wanted a tutor I could help.”

You huff, “I don’t want your help.”

“But you can’t stop asking for it, huh?” The boy smirks, his eyes locking into yours. He lets out a chuckle–Why was he laughing? Maybe it was your incompetence for physics. Why did you take this course anyways?

Not coming up with a quick enough insult back, you give him an exasperated look. Waiting for him to explain whatever was going on in the class.

Leaning back in your chair, you watch as he tries to explain everything in simple terms. How his hands resemble a model as he describes some kind of motion you can’t name.

After he finishes you look at him with a blank stare.

He lets out a breathy smile, almost awkwardly he waves in your face. 

“Y/n, are you listening?”

“No.”

“GOD I HATE HER.”

After a dreadful four periods it was finally lunch, though the cafeteria was never the ideal place to eat–you could talk about the people around you, which came in handy for times like these.

“Sooyun? I still can’t believe she did you like that.” Miyeon sighs, shoving a–soggy fry into her mouth. 

Lia nods in agreement, “Wait–catch me up again. She said you flirted with her boyfriend?” She gestures to you with her chin.

You nod angrily, “No but–she literally asked me to hold her drink at the party while she went to the bathroom. But she was gone for literally thirty minutes to god who knows where– So I gave her drink to her boyfriend because I had a curfew!”

Taking a sip of your water, you continue, “And then, she apparently sees our hands touching when I handed him the cup–which was not true, but she totally freaked out and accused me of trying to get with her boyfriend and ruin her relationship.”

Sooyun was your best-friend. She was smart, pretty, sweet–all the good things you could name about a person, would apply to her. Back in middle school you were so envious of her, because everyone liked her, all her crushes–even your crushes liked her.

You didn’t really mind, obviously you were slightly jealous but so was everyone else. Everything was going well between the two of you until you had started wearing makeup, and styling your hair. And people started liking you more.

All of the sudden she had become really self conscious around you, constantly reminding you that you were so pretty and she wasn’t. You didn’t really mind, of course–in fact you understood it and always denied her comments, after all you felt it about her just a few months back.

Then she had gotten a boyfriend, and totally distanced herself from you. There was nothing you could do except watch, she hadn’t done anything to you, so why hate her?

That’s until you found out that she had been talking bad and spreading rumors about you, that was when your boat had finally tipped, and you cut her off a week after that party.

That was four months ago, but somehow the wound was still fresh from the fact that–your childhood best-friend had totally dropped you the second she found a boy.

Miyeon’s eyes light up, “Oh! I remember that! Lia, that was the party where you did purple eyeshadow and someone asked if you got a black eye.”

The group bursts into laughter, you wince at the feeling of Lia’s hand hitting you a few times while laughing. 

You three move on to new topics, Miyeon talks about whatever new thing her mom is buying her for an event, which reminds the other two of you to talk about something else. You all cut each other off with new stories or opinions to tell. But it works for the three of you. 

That’s until Lia stops her story-telling abruptly as her eyes get caught onto something behind you. She immediately stops moving, Miyeon follows Lia’s eyes and catches on too, smugly smiling at the sight. You almost feel like you’re missing something.

“Why are you guys so weird? Don’t tell me Sooyun’s coming up to us.”

They exchange looks, and Miyeon starts, “Your boy-toy is totally staring at you right now,” She giggles.

Whipping your head around you don’t see anyone, turning back to them you watch them with confused looks. 

Lia raises her eyebrows, “Lee Heeseung? Ring any bells? Blue hoodie, glasses–”

Cutting her off you whip your head around to see, As she said–Lee Heeseung staring at you, eyes widening once he’s realized that you found out about it. His friends, who you think are Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay don’t seem to pay any attention to him at the moment.

You study his features. You like the way his hair falls around his glasses– or how his hoodie looks just perfectly baggy, you would ask him where he got it if he wasn’t the most annoying person alive–Are you going insane? Did you seriously just compliment him?

His face contorts into something different, a smile. His friends give him teasing nudges but he ignores them.

Instead Heeseung chuckles like he always does for some reason and you give him an almost disgusted look, breaking literal air molecules as you turn back to look at your friends with an irritated expression.

Beat that physics. 

Miyeon lets out a high pitched giggle, and Lia hit’s you even more, speaking nonsense and acting like he’s in love with you and vice versa or something. You wince at the feeling, hitting Lia as revenge.

You’re not sure why they’re freaking out, it’s just Heeseung. The guy who’s been annoying you since you were eight. The guy who everyone knows that you have something against. But the knocking you’re feeling from Lia’s hand says anything otherwise. 

You’re not in love with Heeseung, you don’t even like him. You can’t stand his little smug smile or voice–you hate both. You can’t stand that his glasses style never seemed to change for the last six years he’s had them. You can’t stand how he’s so much smarter than you and makes sure you know it.

You can’t stand Heeseung.

He’s like a leech, one that you can’t seem to get off of you. From tutoring to him staring at you whenevers convenient. You’re starting to think he lives to annoy you. 

“You can’t tell me he’s not cute.”

Miyeon’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you resist the urge to look back at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of you looking twice.

“I’m telling you now.” You retort, and the lie flows easily through your teeth.

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE COME TO THE PARTY.

The idea seemed fun at first. Letting yourself be irresponsible after weeks of not doing illegal shit and not getting caught. You weren’t the party type but everyone had asked you to come to this party.

Everyone–meaning Lia and Miyeon–had begged you to come to this “rager” (their words not yours), but you had let them run off and do whatever irresponsible things they could think of.

And now you knew you definitely weren’t the party type.

You stood in the corner watching as everyone was either having the best time of their life or the worst time (you) and no in between. The bright disco lights had you wincing every few seconds when it was directed straight for your eyes.

Clutching your drink, you gulp another sip of it, feeling a slight burn as it runs down your throat.

Everyone was singing to some song that you didn’t know, like it was a classic or something. You swayed slightly in the corner, trying to feel whatever everyone else was feeling.

Pulling down your white mini skirt, you had wished that you hadn’t worn something so cute to something so not-cute.

You give the people making out nasty looks as you try to find someone you know and like–which sadly totalled to two people.

Feeling a little bit like a loser, you decide it’s time for yourself to leave. You find a random trash bag that is–seemingly, full of garbage and drop it in there. 

Letting out a sigh of relief you scan everywhere for your two friends, you can see them having a ball dancing in the middle of a crowded pit. Walking up to the edge of it Miyeon’s eyes lock into yours, and you give her a signal that you are going to leave.

She sends you a thumbs up, then blows a kiss at you before repeating the words to Lia then pointing at you.

Lia shakes her head sluggishly, like you would absolutely change her experience if you left. You gave her a confused look, signaling again that you were leaving. Instead this time you turned around, not waiting for her approval.

Then, you look around for an exit to this absolute hell. You can see the door behind a crowd of people and it seems like it’s glowing in your eyes (or maybe it was the few cups of that god nasty punch you had). Whatever it was, it felt like it would be the exit to your grave.

You’re thankful that you didn’t wear big heels to this place, because you could barely even walk in a straight line–Let alone walk. 

Somehow dragging yourself to the crowd of people blocking the exit, taking a sigh, you start to push yourself through this apocalypse.

You’re abruptly pushed into someone. Massaging the shoulder that was shoved, you look back to see the person you bumped into.

“Oh my gosh–I’m so sorry-”

Sooyun.

Your eyes widen, and it seems like your throat has gone dry.

She gives you the nastiest glare you’ve ever seen, fixing her hair before she scoffs, “What the hell is wrong with you? I have a drink in my hand y’know!” She waves the bright red cup tauntingly in your face. Taking a messy sip from it.

You watch as the red liquid drips down her chin and onto the floor, your eyebrows furrow at the weird sight, “Sorry, ‘got pushed into you.”

You weren’t really sorry, obviously. But you wanted to cut off any conversation with her as soon as possible.

“You’re such a bitch. You flirt with my boyfriend then you bump into me and make me spill my drink over my dress? You can’t stop asking for attention, huh?”

You scan her body, only seeing a drop of the red drink that has been on her own accord, looking up at her angry eyes it reminds you of the look she gave you during that party.

You were getting deja vu.

“Sooyun, that was an accident,” You argue, pointing at her, you continue.  “And stop calling me an attention seeker when I have told you thousands of times that I wanted nothing to do with your frog-looking boyfriend!”

She gasps, quickly collecting herself to answer.

“You’re sorry?”

“For bumping into you, can you leave me alone?”

“See how I feel and then I’ll accept it.”

Sooyun launches her cup at you, you flinch, covering your face so your hair doesn’t get super sticky.

She laughs like a witch, then you feel the stickiness all over your clothes.

Looking down you see your outfit stained red from the forbidden fruit punch that she has–or had in her drink. Watching as the drink drips down your legs you try not to cry at the feeling.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You yell, trying to find an ounce of guilt in her expression only to find nothing.

“Well I said-”

Cutting her off, you yell, “This is not about the drink, this is about you. Calling me an attention seeker because I wanted to hang out while you had a boyfriend? Sorry–should’ve realized that you would’ve left me for any guy that looked at you since you were “so ugly”, right?”

She scoffs, trying to avoid looking at you. You take an exasperated breath, almost not believing that she would do something like this to you. 

You continue anyways,  “Well have you wondered why you can’t seem to find anyone that likes you? Because you do shit like this.” Gesturing to your stained red clothing, you look at her in disgust.

“So instead of calling me an attention seeker. Remind yourself that the last time anyone genuinely liked you was in middle school when you weren’t a fucking bitch.” 

Your words were slightly slurred when you yelled that out, but she seemed to understand every single letter of it. She stands in silence, with an unamused face, you can’t tell if she’s thinking of what to say next or waiting for you to be finished.

You wish you could slap her, hit her, or really do anything to get your anger out. But the most you can do is yell, because you know that every second after you would regret doing that.

You can’t stand to look at her. Or anyone or anything at this stupid party, pushing her away from you, you walk as fast as you can without damaging your feet so you finally reach the pearly gates of heaven, the exit. And you push open the door, feeling the cold gust of wind blow through your legs.

Even though you’ve finally seemed to make her feel somewhat bad. You don't feel satisfied at all. In Fact you feel empty. You feel guilty. You feel as if you just shamed a person who’s just trying their best to fit in.

You shouldn’t feel guilty. But you do. But your mind feels like it’s being torn apart whether you should feel that way. Though now every little thing that irked you tonight seemed to be adding up now. Because you can’t stop the one single tear drop from spilling from your eyes. 

Wiping it as quickly as you can. You look back to see if she followed you, only to be met with the nausea of the party running back to you. You need to go home.

Though everything seems to be going wrong for you tonight, because 1. you’re drunk and can’t drive home. And 2. you don’t have a car.

Squinting your eyes at the bright light emitting from your phone, you scroll through your contacts to find the one person you could call.

You dread hearing the ringing, it rings one, two, three times before it’s answered, your eye catches the time on the screen. 1:42. Ignoring it, you put the phone up to your ear.

“Y/n,” Even though it’s so late he has a light tone. “I knew you liked me but not this much.”

You burst into tears.

Processing the situation, he exclaims, “I’m so sorry!” He frantically answers.

“I didn't mean to make you cry—Y/n are you okay? Where are you right now? Are you safe?” He bombards you with so many questions but you can’t seem to find the strength to answer them all.

Through your hiccups and sniffles, you mumble into the phone, “I didn’t know who else to call.”

Hearing lots of shuffling from his side, you can assume he’s getting out of his bed. “Y/n I’ll come pick you up, where are you?”

“Yeonjun’s party. I-I’m sitting on the edge of the sidewalk.” You say through sniffles. 

You can hear him let out a breathy smile, “You shouldn’t get that pretty outfit dirty by sitting on the sidewalk, is there somewhere else for you to sit?” He talks to you as if you were some kind of child, but you’re too exhausted to mind at the moment.

Standing up immediately, you lazily wipe off any rocks that could’ve gotten onto your clothes, “My skirt is already dirty, and my feet hurt” You whine into the phone, trying to wipe off the big red splatter on your white skirt.

The phone goes silent for a couple of seconds, and you don’t think you can take it.

“Seung, I’m sorry”

Seung. That’s the first time you’ve called him any nick name other than annoying. Heeseung smiles at the name, glad that you can’t see his rosy cheeks.

“For what, angel?”

The name slips by your ears, because you’re too focused on trying to stop your hiccups and talk rather than focus on a swoony nickname that he had just said.

“I’m sorry for calling you and-“ Another cry comes out of you, taking a pause, you start again “And I-I’m sorry for asking you for so much help in physics because I suck at it-“

“Y/n how much have you drunk?”

The car engine growls softly in the background of the call. You start walking in a circle though you can’t stop from tripping over yourself every couple of seconds, wondering if you had taken three or four cups of that punch. 

“Only like three cups of that weird punch” You slur, your mind is brought back Sooyun, and your vision turns hazy, your hiccups start again and you feel like everything around you is suffocating you but the small voice coming from your phone.

“Heeseung.”

“Yes, angel?”

“Talk please. Anything–I don’t care. Just say something to get my mind off myself.”

“Okay.”

You pace around in circles listening to Heeseung’s smooth voice, chuckling at some of his smart remarks or his embarrassing stories that he knows he’ll regret telling to you. The hiccups soon fade away and are turned into small giggles of his silly remarks.

You must've done at least one hundred rounds around the imaginary circle you're tracing. Even though your feet hurt like hell and your heel is definitely about to break, you repeat the cycle. Waiting for a familiar man-

“I’m here, look to your left.”

Whipping your head to the left, you can see the outline of him. His black glasses caught your gaze and still somehow he looked good when he had just woken up. His arms are spread wide open, waiting to be filled.

You run into his arms. 

Wrapping your arms around his neck you hug him as if he’d turn around and leave if you let him get a single breath of air.

He gently places one hand on the lower part of your back, the other hand he uses to tuck your head into the space between his shoulder and neck.

Heeseung is warm.

One word you never thought you would describe him as. Though hundreds of positive words seem to be spilling through your mind at the moment and you can’t help but close your eyes, and cry.

You can feel a wet spot growing where your face is but Heeseung doesn’t seem to care. You had fully expected him to push you away when your tears came rushing down again but instead he pulls you in tighter.

Mumbling nonsense into his shoulder you let the whole story out. Sooyun, the music that was too loud, the punch that had your legs moving awkwardly because of the stickiness–Everything.

He doesn’t laugh at you, he doesn’t offer advice, he doesn’t push your gross, wet face away, he doesn’t laugh at you for being such an emotional drunk. He listens. Just silence, with a few hushed mumbles of how you’re going to be okay.

You had always been given advice instead of a listening ear, and you never knew how nice it felt until now.

He pulls away slightly, wiping your tears as he whispers, “Let’s go home. Okay?”

You nod.

You’re mentally preparing yourself for your feet to shoot pain through your body when Heeseung picks you up. You scream, quickly slapping your hand against your mouth as you’ve disrupted the people leaving around you.

He picks you up easily, as if you were a feather. He bridal-style carries you to the car.

You hate yourself for getting so red because of him. 

“You said your feet hurt, right?” He places you gently into the passenger seat of the car.

You hate how you can’t form a response. Your brain is too fuzzy from the alcohol and him to give him anything but a nod.

He just smiles at you, closing the passenger door.

The drive to your house is silent. A comfortable silence. Because you don’t think you could make any conversation while he has a warm hand on your thigh.

He stops in front of your house, parking the car then rushing over to your side, picking you up just to walk you to your door. 

The story is a blur in your eyes, but before you know it, you’ve changed into your pajamas with a clean, bare face. Snuggly tucked into the comfort of your bed.

“THIS IS FAKE, RIGHT? YOU’RE KIDDING.”

You huff, “I’m serious Miyeon! Can you believe he saw me while I was crying my heart out? I thought pigs would fly before that ever happened.”

Lia raises an eyebrow, “But he comforted you didn’t he? I don’t see the problem.”

When you had woken up with a horrible headache and puffy eyes. You thought you had just cried so hard the last night that it was headache inducing. Trying to remember whatever you did last night you had found one of your blue sticky notes planted on your bedside table. 

call me okay? let me know if you’re okay – heeseung

You had ripped the paper in half.

You were definitely not going to call him. Or contact him in any way.

That blue sticky note had brought out every single detail about the night before, and you’re left wishing to forget it again. You sigh at the bright blue sticking out in the trash, you were never going to drink again.

“The problem isn’t that he comforted me! The problem is that he’s going to tease me about this until the day I die–I mean, he can’t even help me with physics without poking fun at me.”

Lia sighs–Which you don’t appreciate at all but you stay silent. “Y/n, this is different.”

“How!” You exclaim, covering your face in shame.

“It’s different that you’re in completely different moods. Obviously he might tease you about something when you’re in a good mood. But when you’re fucking bawling your eyes out–anyone would get the hint that you probably shouldn’t joke around about stuff like that.” She argues, and you don’t want to agree, but her point makes sense.

You shake your head anyways, “But it’s Heeseung we’re talking about here! The guy who laughed at me when I started crying at the dinner table years ago.”

Miyeon chips in, “Yeah–years ago, he’s not going to be the same immature boy he was in seventh grade! And I’ve talked to him a couple times, he’s so nice. I don’t know why you hate him so much.”

Groaning, you’re annoyed by how they don’t understand your perspective.

Heeseung, from all the years you’ve known him. He’s been this snarky boy who’s always acted like the perfect boy to everyone else. You can’t help but feel jealous of him because everyone likes him. He’s perfect for everyone. Smart, funny, handsome. All the good qualities a person could have.

And you can’t stand it.

You’ve seen through his facade since the first day you met to now. And it’s left you wondering if he was just a good actor or he’s a sweet angel to everyone but you. 

But you couldn’t care less. You hate him, end of story. Nothing will ever change that. 

“I don’t think I can ever face him again.” You admit. You’re so embarrassed. So embarrassed that he was the only person who had ever seen you in such a vulnerable state. 

“Y/n don’t be dramatic” Miyeon sighs.

“I’m not!”

Furrowing their eyebrows, they both give each other a look. As if they were communicating through their brains and they had blocked you out.

“What? Why are you looking at each other like that?” You exclaim. Brushing your hair behind your ears, your mouth transforms into a scowl.

Lia has a cheeky smile on her face, “I mean, if you hate him so much, why did you call him? Out of anyone you could’ve called?”

You scoff, “You think I have friends? Who else would I have called?”

“I thought you said earlier that you didn’t hesitate to call him though? Why would he be your first choice if he was the bane of your existence?”

You can’t think of an answer for that. And you have no idea why.

HEESEUNG ALMOST THOUGHT IT WAS A DREAM.

He knew you didn’t like him, or he thought he knew. So why did you seem so ready to open up? Or didn’t mind the amount of touch he had done or the amount of care he had provided? Heeseung was lost. So lost.

He kept telling himself, You were drunk or You had no idea what you were doing. But something inside him, a creeping feeling he had had told him that it wasn’t true. And that he was some sort of comfort to you.

Heeseung could almost smile at the thought. Being the first person you would call for anything, not even just comfort. If something had happened like you had seen a cute cat on the street or you tripped on a rock. He would want to be the first to know.

He had been in love with you since you had met. He tried his best to help you out but it always resulted in failure. He wasn’t sure why, or what he did. But he seemed to keep messing up, because you had never forgiven him.

Your parents had never lost contact with each other, but after that first encounter you had never seemed to talk to him again. Or any interactions would end up in dirty looks or straight up arguments. 

It’s a shame that he’s so hopelessly in love with you. He didn’t know it when you had first met but one day it shined upon him and brought light to his day. He loved your warm smile when you were with your friends, that face you make whenever you’re focused on something, your stubbornness and refusal to take help (especially from him), and how you speak your mind whenever. 

How long could you hold grudges?

It worried him. Because Heeseung just loves you. And everyday it had been itching him to say something, but his fear of rejection–which he knew would happen–would remove his hopes of ever even having a normal relationship–even a friendship with you.

When you had called him that night, he thought he was reading your name wrong.

Then when he had rubbed his eyes countless times he answered the phone. 

Answering the phone, his first reaction was to tease you. Why would you be calling him in the middle of the night?

He definitely did not expect to hear you sobbing your eyes out. And before he knew it, running his ass off trying to get to his car as fast as possible. To get to you as fast as possible.

He didn’t tell you that he had his friends over that night.

The relief he had felt when he had finally reached you couldn’t be expressed in any form. The warmth he felt when hugging you had made his heart beat so fast he thought he was going to die.

When he wiped away your tears he felt like he was dying, it was too intimate, and as happy as he was that he was there to comfort you. He knew that you would regret it the day after.

“Do you think she meant it?” Heeseung asks. Voicing the thought that had been taking over his mind for hours and hours.

“I mean,” Jake answers, “Drunk words are sober thoughts?”

Heeseung sighs. 

“If she’s sorry that means she doesn’t hate you, right? Because she feels bad?”  Jay adds, giving Heeseungs shoulder a slap of reassurance.

“Heeseung you’re crazy for leaving your friends who’re sleeping over at your house. I expect an apology with tears next time.” Sunghoon rolls his eyes.

“Hey I came back didn’t I?” He argues, crossing his arms.

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “Apology with tears.”

Heeseung thinks he hates Sunghoon more than you hate him.

YOUR PACKAGE WAS SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE TODAY.

You had run to check the mailbox immediately after school, unlocking the key you were supposed to see a small package containing the lip tints you had bought two weeks ago, only to be disappointed when you were met with a sea of envelopes. 

Rolling your eyes at the sight you walked back to your house, with a head full of disappointment

It was hard to focus on your homework when you were checking your phone for any updates on if it had arrived at your home or not.

And you were getting frustrated to see the only notifications you had were from your social media.

That is until you checked your phone the fifteenth time, and you heard the doorbell ring.

Running down the stairs, “I’ll get it!” You yell, unlocking the door.

Your package was being held by someone.

Your package was being held by Heeseung.

Heeseung was at your door. Holding your package.

“Hey Y/n! Can we come in?” Ms. Lee asks.

You snap out of your daze, “Yeah of course!” Moving to the side for them to walk in, “Sorry I didn’t know you guys were coming.”

Heeseung waves at you awkwardly and you can’t find it in you to wave back. Snatching the package from your hands you walk them to the living room. Then when you were out of focus, you bolted to your room. 

Catching your breath you rip open the bag. Feeling excitement bubble inside you when you see the packaging you’ve been waiting for for weeks.

Trying on all the colors you bought, you’re pleasantly surprised to see that all of them look good on you.

Lifting the gloss with a squeal, you put them all safely on your desk, to be used another day.

Looking in the mirror at yourself you realize how not-pretty you look. You quickly curl your lashes slightly, and brush through the tangled and messed parts of your hair so you don’t look like a total mess in front of the guests at your house.

You’re not sure why you care so much. It’s just Heeseung and his family for god sakes. But you can’t help but put a dot of tint on your lips. You don’t want to look bad in front of the guy you hated so much?

You can’t believe he hasn’t mentioned the party in front of you yet. Instead he looks at you with pitiful eyes like he actually cares. You hate that. You hate him. But he’s still in your house downstairs. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Walking down the stairs, you spot Heeseung in the kitchen.

You’re confused on why he’s there until you see him cutting up scallions as a finishing touch. He’s helping your parents cook?

The last time he was fine with sitting in your room. So why was he avoiding it now?

He looks up at you watching him, he lets out a breathy laugh before looking back down. Focusing on not cutting off any of his fingers.

You despise the fact that he acts like there is nothing weird between the two of you. How you hate each other yet he was your first call to comfort you. You don’t like how laid back he is about the whole situation.

But, you keep quiet. Nodding to him you walk up to your mom. Asking if she needs any assistance cooking. She shakes her head no, but asks you to set the table.

Grabbing napkins, you place them in front of each seat before grabbing utensils and bowls. Repeating the process again.

You sit in your usual spot, but you think you’ve gotten something wrong when Heeseung takes the seat right next to yours which rightfully belongs to your mom.

You look at him with a raised eyebrow and he whispers, “They wanted us to sit together for some reason.” He shrugs.

Rolling your eyes, you take a sip of water to hide the fact that your cheeks were heating up.

When everyone is sitting down and eating. You realize that you had zero appetite at all. Picking at your food, you eat at a snail's pace while everyone is eating like a cheetah's.

You pretend to eat your food while contributing in the conversation whenever you’re mentioned. You take another bite once the taste is gone from your lips.

You haven’t realized how slow you’ve been eating until you see that everyone has finished eating except you and Heeseung. They had moved on to cleaning, or watching the ongoing golf game.

You also hadn’t realized that his knees were brushing yours. 

The table is silent, and awkward. Looking at him ever so often, you’re embarrassed to make eye contact with him every time. Looking away as soon as you spot his eyes looking at yours.

“Hey Y/n.” He says, attempting to break the weird tension between the two of you.

You hum in response, finally gaining the courage to look back at him.

“Are you okay? If you want to talk about the whole “Sooyun” situation I’ll listen.” 

You almost choke on your food. “No, I don't want to talk about it. Sorry I called you–I guess.”

He chuckles. Chuckles. You’re cut off by the small laugh he lets out, looking at him in disbelief for laughing at your oh so vulnerable state.

Your cheeks have never felt more warm.

“You’re a pretty crier, angel.”

He walks away before you could make one of your snarky remarks back. But for some reason, all you can think of is Heeseung and his weird smirk.

YOU WEREN’T SURE IF YOU HAD GOTTEN WORSE AT PHYSICS

But it certainly felt like it. Because you’re handed a random vocab quiz that you had definitely forgotten about–Not like studying would help– and you don’t understand any of the questions.

Some of them, you get lucky and know the other answer to. But a majority of the other answers were guesses with a randomly thrown in “i don’t know! sorry :(” 

Yeah you were definitely failing this class.

Taking a break from the measly black text, you look at the people around you taking the test. Trying to see if they’re struggling as much as you are. Turning your head to the right you see Heeseung working on a question two ahead of you.

Sighing to yourself he looks up at you. He turns his paper to you with a teasing smile so that you could read it.

You try to read everything you can before whipping your head back to your paper so you don't have to interact with him more.

You erase half your paper before rewriting his answers with an explanation you think makes sense.

Scribbling and hoping that you’re doing things right, you apply that same logic to the rest of the paper.

Taking a deep breath before you walk up to Ms. Nam. You’re not the first one to finish, but definitely one of the earlier ones. She gives you a pointed look before snatching your paper. 

Feeling a weight added onto your shoulders, you sit back down at your seat contemplating why you’re failing such a simple class.

Maybe it’s because Robots don’t know how to teach. But that was definitely false. Because why would Tim and Moby exist?

You tried to think of the better possibilities that could come of this test. Like maybe you’re guessing actually worked and you would get anything over a 80.

Or maybe you would fail out of the class and be forever known as the girl who couldn’t pass physics-

A chuckle comes from your right, you whip your head around to see Heeseung turning his head back at his paper.

Following his line of eyes, you see the answers on his quiz that he was almost done with.

You had gotten at least half of the third page different from Heeseung’s. But maybe he got the question wrong–Who were you kidding? Heeseung would never get half the paper wrong.

Looking up at the teacher's desk, you happily discover that her line of sight was being blocked by two students still working on the quiz.

Carefully, you take your phone out and open the group chat.

you : 

guys i totally BOMBED that physics test oh lord

miyeonieee : 

LMFAOOO we gotta get u a tutor or something

diarlia : 

shes already got a tutor iykwim…

you : 

heeseung is NOT my tutor. 

diarlia : 

notice how i didn’t even mention heeseung

i was going to say like jake or something

yn : 

oh sure u were…

miyeonieee :

oh yeah hes good at physics 

kinda forgot about him LOLL

you :

 i can’t ask him to be my tutor i dont even know the guy

miyeonieee :

hes one of heeseungs bffs girl what

you : 

its not like i keep a roster on him hello

diarlia :

you don’t need to cause you think of him 24/7  AYYYY

you :

girl stfu no i dont

You close the group chat.

Looking up from your phone you notice Heeseung turning his paper in, he turns back—locking eyes with you.

Time seems to still, just for a moment. You give him a dirty look, and he returns it with a small smile. When he sits down in his seat, his attention elsewhere is when you smile back. You don’t realize it for a few seconds, but when you do, you drop it completely.

You don’t know why but you’re starting to think you’re being too mean to Heeseung.

TODAY YOU’RE SKIPPING DINNER WITH THE LEE’S

You weren’t sure why you hadn’t thought of it before. But as you walked into the library, you felt a sense of relief.

It’s not like you hated having them over, you just hated having him over. They used to be rare dinners, where you and Heeseung would only talk if absolutely necessary. And you were fine with keeping it that way. But your mother and his had different plans, because it’s apparent that they had become super close again.

Dinners used to be once every few months, but recently it has become once every few weeks, sometimes even two weeks in a row. 

Which meant that Heeseung would be staying in your room for a few hours every few weeks. And it felt weird.

It was new. A change that you couldn’t force yourself to like. 

So you ran away. 

Just for a little bit of course. Until they stopped coming over, and Heeseung stopped hanging out in your room.

You had gone to the library to study. Maybe even read a textbook to understand a single thing about anything you were learning about Physics. Because it took you all your power to ask Heeseung for help, and it left you none to actually consume the knowledge he was giving you.

Today you decided that you were done asking for Heeseung’s help. 

Scanning the library for different sections, you realize that you weren’t sure why you had never thought of studying at the library. The warm hues and the comforting sight of organization had never felt more pleasant. Finding a deserted seat you set your stuff down. Pulling out materials you would need.

After organizing your notebook and pencils, you mindlessly walk through each aisle. Postponing the actual study session.

The library is eerily quiet today. Though all libraries are meant to be quiet, there seems to be no pen clicking or keyboard clicking sounds. 

You then realize that the library is filled with only a handful of people. And they’re all spread out throughout the room.

Walking in the aisle that you were supposed to look for, your eyes catch sight at the couple at the end of the aisle.

No, it’s not a couple. You then recognize that it’s Heeseung. The man who had made you ditch dinner at your house had also decided to be at the library today. You curse yourself for your bad luck.

Your eyes trail to the girl next to him. Too close to him for comfort. She looks up from the textbook to whisper something softly to him. Her hand touches his arms as they’re laughing. But Heeseung tenses up.

Wait.

That’s Sooyun.

Heeseung was with Sooyun at the library.

Sooyun was flirting with Heeseung.

Your Heeseung.

And what seems like the worst timing possible, you spot the textbook you were looking for. Right at the end of the aisle, right in front of Heeseung and Sooyun.

They haven’t noticed you yet, so slowly walking–careful not to make any noise. You dip down to the bottom shelf. Pulling out the textbook you need. 

Okay all you have to do is stand back up and walk away and you’re good-

“Oh hey Y/n!” May Zeus strike you down–

Whipping your head back to Heeseung’s cheering voice, you strain a small smile, waving at him. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at dinner?” He asks. 

“Why aren’t you at dinner?’ You retort, standing up from your squat.

He chuckles, “Tutoring, remember?” He gestures to Sooyun who gives you a smile–a bitchy one that’s for sure.

Fuck, you forgot he had tutoring.

“Right.” You nod, you’re about to depart when Sooyun cuts you off.

“Hey Y/n you get that stain out of your skirt yet? It’s really too bad that skirt was white, huh?” She laughs. 

You’re not sure how to respond. You seem to be going blank a lot these days. You aren’t sure whether it’d be a good idea to punch her–which you want to do. Or if you should walk away like a civilized person.

“Don’t run out and start crying, Y/n! It was just a joke!” She continues. Feigning innocence.

She saw you crying. She saw you run out and start crying. Gosh it’s not like that night could get any worse. You’re sure Heeseung would step up to defend you, I mean–he heard your rant, and he even took the initiative to comfort you and get you ready for bed.

That’s until you hear a chuckle.

Heeseung just laughed at her joke.

Your shame soon turns into frustration. How could he just laugh along like you weren’t sobbing your eyes out to him literally minutes after?

Heeseung says something but you just miss it. Though it seems to be directed to Sooyun with a smile on his face.

“Shut the fuck up, Sooyun. Leave me alone.” 

Before you know it you’ve turned and started walking back to your seat. You’re surprised your body remembered to bring your textbook with you. Because your mind was still processing the situation.

Sure, it was obvious Sooyun was going to bite back somehow. But watching Heeseung laugh along with her jokes hurts. And you don’t know why.

It’s obviously something he would do. 

But for a second, you thought he had changed. You thought that he was turning a new leaf instead of the little boy who found joy in you knowing that he was smarter than you, but it turns out, nothing had changed at all.

You still hate that little boy version of him. And you still hate him now.

Though you had never liked the boy, disappointment blooms inside you. Catching you off guard like a lightning bolt, waiting to strike.

It’s an hour later when you decide to pack up and go home. 

You had told your mom two hours at least–that this time you would actually look into the work for once. But that scene replayed in your mind like a broken cd. It took over your thoughts, making you rethink everything you thought you knew about him.

It’s made you realize that you don’t feel disappointed. You feel betrayed. You feel betrayed that he laughed at a joke at your expense.

It doesn’t make sense to you, why were you feeling betrayed anyways? You didn’t even like the boy. 

Maybe you were being dramatic, maybe you were thinking about it too hard, maybe he forgot your rant to him.

Or maybe he only felt pity for you after the party.

You didn’t want to be pitied. You didn’t want to be pitied by him. So you did what you should’ve done–at least–twenty minutes ago, and left.

Driving home, you blast the music to cover your overwhelming thoughts. Turning into your driveway, you stop the car. Slamming the door too hard on your way out, you wince at the sound.

Walking in, you begrudgingly wave to everyone at the table, avoiding eye contact with your mom before you run upstairs to your room.

You didn’t want to cry about something so stupid. That would just be proving Sooyun’s point. So instead, you laid down in your bed, and slept.

HEESEUNG HADN’T SEEN YOU IN THE HALLS THE DAY AFTER.

His eyes scanned everyone that walked past his friend group–he was listening to the conversation of course–but it was a little obvious that he was preoccupied.

“Heeseung?”

Fuck.

“Sorry, what did you say?” He asks. Eyes off the few people passing them but now on Jake’s.

He rolls his eyes, which Heeseung kind of deserves, then says, “How was your tutoring session with Sooyun? Hope she didn’t badly flirt with you like she did with all of her other math tutors.”

His eyebrows furrow, “No I don’t think she did. Just a little too friendly I think.”

“She definitely was, I don’t even need to see you two to know,” Sunghoon says, “He was too busy thinking of Y/n anyways.”

His eyes widened as his head whipped towards Sunghoon. He felt his cheeks heat up at his comment. He was thinking of you during the tutor session, but that was beside the point!

That’s when he sees you. Your hair was perfectly down, and you were carrying your physics book. Heading to–what he assumed was–your shared first period.

You pass by him, eyes following yours, he waves. But, you don’t wave back–which he was accustomed to even if you rolled your eyes right after–instead, you turn your head away with a disgusted look on your face. Almost like you’re embarrassed that he was waving to you.

He gets nudged by Jay and that snaps him back to life. Jay teases him but his eyes are still following yours, watching you turn the corner and escape his view.

“I thought you were on good terms?” Jake asks, eyes gesturing to the spot you had just left.

“What?”

Jake looks around, “She looked kind of mad at you.”

“I don’t know what I did, maybe she’s still embarrassed about the party.” He sighs, rubbing his temple.

Heeseung can usually tell what most people are thinking. He has labeled himself as an observant person in his mind. But with all three of his friends staring at him like he was an alien. He definitely knew there was something he wasn’t getting.

He puts his hand down. Raising his eyebrows instead, “Why are you all looking at me weird?”

Jay’s mouth parts slightly, and Heeseung swears he sees a fly run in. “Dude—You’re saying you saw Y/n at the library?”

“Yes? What about it?”

“And you’re wondering why she’s avoiding you?”

“Is it because she thought she looked bad? Because if it’s that then she’s wrong because she looked-“

“Heeseung. You’re really making it obvious you’ve never talked to a woman before.” Jake buts in.

He was totally lost now.

“Heeseung.” Sunghoon starts, “Who do you think you were tutoring?”

“Oh shit.”

Heeseung was stupid—apparently. Because even though he swears he’s an observant person, he didn't notice how ignorant he was.

Another problem, he doesn’t know how to approach you and explain himself.

He watches as you sit down next to him, not even glancing at him before you put your head down

Pushing his glasses back, he forces himself to look up at the board. 

Well—he tries. But his eyes keep lingering to you, who might just be the most gorgeous person to ever exist.

He raises his hand to answer a question Ms. Nam asks. He gets it right as always, but he doesn’t see you roll your eyes at him. Which nudges him in the wrong way.

Ms. Nam gives out a digital assignment, which he loves but you can’t seem to be bothered to do it. 

He’s halfway through the assignment when he sees you pull out your laptop, clicking random keys to turn it on.

It’s almost dead. He watches as you search your backpack for a charger, only to be disappointed when you don’t have one.

“I have a charger, if you want to use it.”

Heeseung waits almost anxiously for your reply. Unzipping the compartment already before you answer.

“No.”

He doesn’t know how to react. He’s nervous to be around you when you’re upset–and in general–so he chuckles. Horrible timing—like always but he does that when he’s anxious.

“Okay, let me know if you need one.” He says, trying to offer a warm smile, in hopes of you returning one.

“I don’t. Leave me alone.” You don’t even spare him a glance.

He knows you’ll be annoyed. But he would never want to leave you alone—or avoid you, he wouldn’t even dream of it.

“I JUST—CAN’T BELIEVE HE LAUGHED!”

Yes—you were still upset. You had been avoiding him all day because you couldn’t even think about snapping about him. You would feel so guilty.

You were good at holding grudges. Why you hated Heeseung for so long was because a stupid grudge from when you were seven. You had always held little things against Heeseung for years on end. And it had built into this void of hatred for you.

But for some reason, you don’t think this grudge will last long.

“What an asshole. Next time I see him you’ll have to hold me back.” Lia says.

You let out a breathy laugh, taking a chip from the bag in front of you.

The salty flavor sits on your tongue for a few seconds, you chew it, swallowing it as you take another from the bag. You think at the rate you’re all eating at you’ll finish the bag of chips in five minutes.

Miyeon swallows her chip, rubbing her greasy hand on a napkin when she says, “So why are you upset? I thought you didn’t like either of them.”

“I do!”

“So why would them–hanging out together be a problem?”

You sigh, “I don’t know! It just irks me the wrong way–Plus he laughed at her joke! Even though he knows that I was super upset that day.”

You’re not sure why it bugs you so much. You tried to convince yourself that it’s because two people you didn’t like were hanging out and flirting. But you knew that wasn’t it. 

You knew that you were so hurt by Heeseung for laughing more than you were by Sooyun for making that joke because that’s how Sooyun is. She tries to drag people down whenever she’s not given everyone's attention, then she acts like the nicest girl to exist when it is. You were foolish enough to fall for it, but you didn’t think Heeseung would be.

Heeseung is smart. There's no point in denying it. Heeseung is a genius. When he tries to be–And he flaunts it. So him falling easily for such a simple facade had you questioning everything you knew about him.

You thought he hated you. As much as you hated him. You thought he only approached you to annoy you just like the day you met. After you had called him crying you thought he had a change of heart, or maybe he actually didn’t hate you all this time.

It was obvious that out of the two of you, that you were the less smart one. But after being manipulated by your ex best friend so many times. You thought you could tell the difference between a real–genuine interaction or a fake one.

Turns out you were just as stupid as you thought.

“Y/n if you hate him because he’s rude, why would he offer to tutor you? Or he picked you up after the party and got you ready for bed? Or even the time he helped you with your homework? Why would he do that if he was such an evil person who hated you?”

“I don’t know. He’s weird.”

“Y/n.” Lia huffs, “Why would he be doing these things even though you’ve been rude to him?”

“I don’t know! What are you trying to say?”

“Y/n. The boy likes you.”

You snort, “That’s not funny.”

“I didn’t make any jokes.” Lia deadpans.

Your head spirals trying to process the new information. He loves to annoy you–why would he want to annoy you if he liked you?

You try to think of every interaction you’ve ever had. Racking your brain on how this could even be a possibility. This is Heeseung. The same guy who would look at you weird when you were passing by.

Wait. He stared at you weirdly. But it wasn’t a death glare. You didn’t know what it was. But you swear you could feel imaginary puzzle pieces together, as you come to conclude.

“That makes sense.”

And it really does make sense. But something in you doesn’t want to admit the fact you don’t think he could ever like someone like you. 

“It does, doesn’t it? Now what do you think of that?” Miyeon asks, eating two chips in one bite.

You don’t know how to think about it. You don’t know how to feel about it. It’s impossible for something so small to make it feel like your world has been flipped upside down. But it seems to happen a lot recently.

The weirdest thing about this whole situation is that you don’t seem to mind. In fact, the idea of him liking you brings warmth to your chest. Like the warmth you felt when you were hugging him. Or the racing of your heart whenever you think about him. 

“Oh my god.”

The room stops, just for a second before you continue.

“I like him.” You say. 

The words sound foreign to you. Like you’re trying to speak a new language with no idea of what you’re saying.

But weirdly, you aren’t annoyed by the idea of you liking him and him liking you back. You actually think you like the idea of that.

Just as you had expected, you ran out of snacks after talking about Heeseung for the next thirty minutes. But you didn’t mind.

You actually liked talking about your feelings to them, it was something different that you had never experienced. Giggling over boys and talking about what they did or something you found weird, it was fun, something you had never done before but you couldn’t wait to do again.

Eventually, you had run out of the party sized bag of chips–that were half empty anyways so you didn’t really eat much–and much to your dismay, you had lost the rock-paper-scissors battle. Meaning you had to run to the grocery store to get more snacks.

They had given you a list to go off of. Arizona tea and a bag of barbecue chips for Lia, Hot Cheetos for Miyeon, and some snacks for yourself.

You didn’t mind driving to the convenience store nearby. It had given you a twenty break alone to recharge for a bit, since they were probably staying the whole day. 

Pulling in the parking lot, you back into a space. Shifting gears, you park the car. Walking out and closing the door, you press a button on your key. Hearing the familiar beep that locks your car you push open the doors. 

As you walk in, the cashier greets you. You awkwardly wave back, heading straight toward the chip aisle. You scan the columns for the familiar bags before you see someone else in the aisle. 

You spot a bag of Hot Cheetos and reach up to grab it. Your hand reaches for it but you find another’s reaching for it too. Your eyes widen at the sight of him.

Why does the universe keep making you bump into him at the worst times?

“Y/n! Hey!”

A period goes by where you're just staring at each other, wide eyed. But you seem to bring yourself together quicker, snatching the bag of chips before he could get them.

“Hi.” You respond flatly, passing by him to get the chips you had wanted, and Lia’s barbecue chips.

Even though you’ve come to terms with your true feelings, it’s embarrassing how often you’ve missed seeing him these past few days. The grudge in you still sticks in the back of your mind, you watch as the same scene replays every minute you have of quiet. But you still don’t know why he would do something like that. Or why he was so nice to you these past days.

“Can we talk?”

You’re squatting on the floor trying to get the bag when he says that. You look up at him, “No, I really don’t want to.”

Quickly standing up, you walk away from him, walking to the cashier instead.

You pass by the drink aisle, and you see your reflection. You can feel your face heat up at how you look right now. Your hair was down but you could tell it was a little greasy, you had no makeup on–mostly because you didn’t think you’d see anyone here–and some old pink hello kitty pajama pants that you had definitely gotten when you were younger.

Walking to the end of the aisle, you sigh. This was not how you would imagine you looking when you saw him again.

Not that you had been imagining the scenario a million times over. 

And not because you hoped that he would beg for forgiveness and you would reject him.

“Y/n, I really want to talk to you please.” He’s walking after you, and fast. 

Turns out you were a very weak girl.

You stop, turning around, “Fine, but can we not talk about this here? I’m trying to get food.” 

“I’ll wait for you outside?” 

He hands you his card, and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Let me pay for it.”

You think you’re going to die.

“Yeah, whatever.” Taking the card from his hand, you watch him walk away.

You don’t think you can face him. This time, for opposite reasons than before. You like Heeseung, but you still remember him getting all buddy-buddy with the bane of your existence. But you’re not sure if you’ll be able to remember that when you’re face to face.

The possibilities of this conversation scares you–so you take your time in the store, picking out an extra snack for your home.

You begrudgingly walk up to the cashier, using his card, you insert it into the machine. Following the directions on the screen you take your receipt, walking out with your bag in hand.

Walking to the door, you try to walk as slowly as possible, to try to prevent the situation as much as possible.

You soon find yourself face to face with him. Nothing seems to be coming out of your mouth, so the conversation stays silent.

He says, “I’m sorry.”

“What?”

You’re shocked. This was not how you expected the conversation would go. You’re speechless also, your mouth is slightly agape and you’re looking at him like you’ve seen a ghost.

“I’m sorry for being with Sooyun-Not together like that but I don’t want to tutor her–but I had to tutor her. Her family paid me really well and I’ve been trying to make some extra money to help out my parents–for college.”

Oh.

Your cheeks turn pink at his explanation. A pit continues to grow in your stomach while he keeps and keeps explaining himself–like he had done something so wrong even if it was for his college funding, when you seemed to be misunderstanding the situation this whole time.

“Y/n I’m so, so sorry–”

“Heeseung.”

“Yes?”

“I forgive you.” You were a weak girl anyways, “But, why did you laugh at her joke? I thought you would understand if anything.”

“I laugh when I’m nervous, I don't know how to respond–or how to defend you–and I got so nervous on what to say, I laughed. But I told her to stop but she didn’t listen. I didn’t mean to, I swear but it’s just a habit I need to get rid of. But I wasn’t trying to make fun of you I actually think you’re really cool and I don’t want you avoiding me-”

Oh god, how did you not notice that about him? The amount of times he’s laughed at weird times around you were too many to count. You’ve known him for more than half of your life, but you didn’t even notice this about him?

“I’m sorry–Oh my gosh.” You cut him off, this time, he’s surprised.

“I didn’t even–I totally misunderstood this situation and blamed it on you. I should be the one apologizing, I’ve been so rude to you all these years-”

“Y/n it’s okay.”

“No–It’s not okay. I’ve been such a bad person to you–”

Before you can even process anything, he pulls you into a hug. He lays his head on top of yours and you can feel yourself freeze.

“Don’t apologize, please. It’s not your fault.”

It definitely was, but you listen to him anyway.

You slowly relax, wrapping your arms around his neck. You squeeze him tighter, muttering apologies into his ear.

This time, you don’t have to be drunk to admit it. But when you hug Heeseung, he’s warm, a warmth like the summer sun you can’t help but bask in.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE?”

The cold air of the morning catches you off guard. The grass outside your house is frosted white, so are every roof in your neighborhood.

You close the front door, about to walk to your bus stop when you see a familiar car outside your house. With a familiar face outside of it.

“I wanted to pick you up–It’s cold.”

“I have a jacket.”

“Y/n–just let me drive you to school.”

You roll your eyes playfully, following him as he opens your car door, letting you sit down before he closes it.

The car is warm, and he’s already had the seat warmed up for you. No words are exchanged between the two of you when he pulls out of your driveway. You both listen to the quiet music that he was listening to.

You close your eyes and lean back into the chair, Trying to get back the sleep you had missed the night before.

“Tired?” He asks, his voice is barely above a whisper. But you can still hear the smile in his voice.

You chuckle, opening your eyes–you answer, “I couldn’t sleep last night.”

“I really couldn't either.”

You both know you both stayed up replaying that scene over and over. But you decided it would be best left unsaid, to wait for another day to unpack it.

When you get to school you open the door for yourself. Feeling the cold air wash over you. Taking a deep breath in the crisp air your breath comes out white. You blow out to see the white again.

Heeseung laughs at the sight, noticing his visible breath himself. 

You two walk to the school doors from his parking spot. Your hand brushes and you’re quick to apologize. 

He doesn’t respond, instead he takes your hand in his, interlocking each finger.

Your cheeks turn pink which if he points out–you’ll blame it on the cold weather.

“Can I come over saturday?”

“What?” God he was bold.

“I have a surprise for you.”

You frown, “I didn’t get you anything.”

“I know, it just reminded me of you.”

“I knew you were obsessed with me” You smile, but Heeseung doesn’t deny it.

He pushes open the door for you two, and you feel a wave of warm air. Which you really needed.

“I think your friends are waiting for you.” He points out, gesturing to your friends at your locker, where you usually meet in the morning.

“It’s okay, they can last one morning without me,” You squeeze his hand, but he shakes his head.

“No, go to your friends, I’ll see you in first period, Angel.” He gives you a teasing smirk, squeezing your hand one more time before walking to his friends.

Your eyes follow him, stuck in your position for a few seconds before realizing that you looked stupid standing in the middle of the hallway. You walk up to your friends, greeting them. They start pushing you around, teasing you for coming to school with him.

You aren’t paying attention though, because your eyes catch onto Heeseung and he chuckles, eyebrows raising at you.

You raise yours before your mouth cracks into a smile.

PRESSING THE DOORBELL HE WAITS PATIENTLY OUTSIDE YOUR HOME.

He’s been to your house thousands of times in the past few months. But today he’s extra nervous.

Maybe because he isn’t forced to come here, and you actually tolerate him this time. Either way, Heeseung is nervous.

The sound of the door opening brings him back to life, he’s met by your mother.

“Oh Heeseung! I didn’t know you’d be here today–Is your family coming over? It must’ve slipped my mind!”

He lets out a breathy laugh, “No ma’am. I’m here to see Y/n, is she here?” Pushing up his glasses, he waits anxiously for her answer.

“Oh of course she is!” She welcomes him in, patting his back as he takes off his shoes, “She’s just in her room.”

“Thank you,” He says, gripping the paper bag tight in his hands.

As he walks up the stairs he can feel his nervousness start to get to him. His breaths get shorter and his heart starts beating a few tempos too fast. What if you hated the present?

Taking a deep breath. He clears his mind, knocking on the door saying, “It’s Heeseung, can I come in?”

There's a small moment of silence that follows. You didn’t think he would actually come today.

“Come in!” You yell, he opens the door to see you snuggly tucked into your bed. you quickly sit up, letting a small smile grow on your face.

You internally pat yourself on the back for making sure you looked nice–but not too nice for a random day at home in the case he actually did come. Your eyes catch onto the brown paper bag behind him, but you don’t question it.

He hides the paper bag behind his legs, “Aren’t you going to ask what your surprise is?”

You laugh, “I didn’t think you were being serious.”

“Of course I was.”

Tapping the edge of your bed, you gesture for him to sit down, which he does. Before placing the bag in front of you.

“Can I look inside?”

“That was kind of the point–”

His sentence is cut off by your gasp. You pull out the box to reveal Lego orchids.

“Seung, are you serious?” You exclaim, admiring the lego orchids that he had bought you

Seung.

His cheeks turn pink, “I saw it at the store and I thought of you–Remember when we first met how we bonded over legos? That’s why I got them for you–If you don’t like them it’s ok. I can still retu–”

He stops working when you kiss him on the cheek, hugging him like it’s his last second on earth. “I love it so much–Though I wouldn’t say we bonded over legos.”

Heeseung isn’t sure what you mean, eyes furrowing when he sees your smile. But he doesn’t question it.

He watches intently as you open the box carefully, taking out each bag before reading the directions. Heeseung notices how you furrowed your brows trying to figure out what to do, or how you would tap his shoulder and show him the case if you wanted help.

It had been around a week since you had talked at the convenience store, and Heeseung thinks that was one of the best moments of his life. Recently, you two have grown much closer and Heeseung likes it. Heeseung loves it. Heeseung loves how you can hug each other and touch each other without it being weird, Heeseung loves how he can be around you without it being weird, Heeseung loves being around you, and he’s unsure why it’s taken you two so long to be like this.

Heeseung watches you quietly, but he doesn’t take his eyes off you, Like you’re a light leading him through a dark maze. He knows you notice his obvious staring, but neither you or him say anything.

Whenever you’re together, Heeseung notices that it’s quiet. Not like it’s a bad thing. He thinks it’s like a breath of fresh air. Hanging around someone where even if you don’t talk you enjoy eachothers company.

A strand of hair behind your ear falls into your face. Though you’re too focused on the legos to even think of it. Heeseung reaches his hand out, gently putting it behind your ear.

You look up and smile at him, and he smiles back.

The fan in your room blows softly in the back, creating white noise that fills the silence. Heeseung likes the white noise, but he likes your voice even more.

“Heeseung?”

“Yes, angel?”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

Again, Heeseung isn’t sure what you mean. This time, he questions it.

“What do you mean?”

You look at him with a soft frown–God he loves your lips.

“I mean–I’ve been nothing but mean to you all these years, right? But you still offered to tutor me and do all of this stuff for me, so–why?”

Fuck.

“Why not?” He chuckles, hoping that you’ll leave the topic alone.

“That’s not an answer, Seung.”

He knows it’s not an answer. But he offered to tutor him just so he could spend time with you–the girl he’s in love with. He doesn’t think he’s ready to tell you that–Turns out his mouth speaks before his head thinks.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Your heart skips a beat.

Your frown deepens–He wish he could kiss it away–

“I’m being serious, Seung. Don’t mess around like that.”

He pushes his hair back, “I’m being serious too, Y/n. I've been in love with you–Hopelessly in love, since the day we met.”

Your mouth drops in shock, you don’t respond, so he continues.

“Remember when I said your mom asked me to tutor you in physics? That was a lie–She didn’t ask me to do anything. I noticed that you were struggling a little bit and I thought that if I could spend more time with you–and help you, then you would start to like me. Or even just tolerate me.” 

“I don’t know what I did to make you dislike me, but for what it’s worth I’m sorry. You can get your revenge on me by slapping me in the face right now, but I really really want to be your boyfriend.” 

The unsaid words in you can’t seem to come out. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest. Did you hear him wrong? Something in you can’t comprehend that Heeseung likes you. Since the day you met. Your mind races with possibilities trying to convince yourself that this isn’t true. But when you finally look up at him, you can see a small chuckle fall from his lips.

“It’s okay if you want to ignore that and pretend it didn’t happen–I get it.”

Heeseung tries to bring a smile to his face but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

You don’t know what to do. You can’t think of what would be a good response to this. So you let your heart take over, leaning in to capture a kiss on his lips.

His lips are soft. but he’s obviously startled. It takes a second before he melts into the kiss. He cups your face with his right hand, making your stomach erupt into butterflies–or erupt in itself, you couldn’t tell anymore.

You place your hand on his chest as he deepens the kiss. You feel sparks flying around you, like a firework show. It’s euphoric and so addicting you don’t want to pull away.

The smell of his cologne made you feel dizzy, the husky scent makes you yearn for more. 

Heeseung pulls away first, catching his breath as you catch yours. Exchanging shy smiles while trying to get your heart to calm down.

“Was that okay?” You ask, nervously tucking your hair behind your ears.

“More than okay.”

Your smile grows into a toothy one, letting out a breathy smile you can feel your cheeks heat up.

“Was that a yes?” He asks.

“To what?”

“Me–being your boyfriend.”

And with a teasing smile, you answer, “Yeah–Okay.”

WHEN YOU PARTED WAYS WITH HEESEUNG THIS WAS NOT THE PERSON YOU EXPECTED TO BE STANDING AT YOUR LOCKER.

Every morning it was the same–or for the past week or two it has been. Get ready for school, go outside and make sure Heeseung was driving you, get picked up and leave for school, part ways with Heeseung once you get there–since you’re meeting in first period anyways, then talk to Miyeon and Lia at your locker.

But when you got to your locker, you noticed that the hall was weirdly empty today. Weird.

On rare occasions they’re both very late–which is once a week–you sit by your locker waiting on your phone until they come, or until it’s time to go to class.

This was not the case today, because someone was blocking your locker.

You recognized the back of her head immediately, walking up beside her you say, “Can you move? I need to use my locker.”

It seems like Sooyun is starting to like your attention. Every incident between the two of you she has instigated. Maybe she has a crush on you and is bitter that you’re dating Heeseung.

Whatever it is–you hope she gets the hint and leaves you alone. Which might be impossible considering the situations you keep getting yourself in.

She looks up at you annoyed that it was her locker you were standing in front of. 

You try to mentally prepare yourself for whatever she’s about to say. Until she says, “I pity you.”

Okay, definitely not the worst thing she’s come up with–but pretty bad.

“Okay? Move.” And surprisingly she takes a step back, giving you enough space to open your locker and accidentally elbow her in the process.

“Aww” You want to vomit when you feel her rubbing your arm, “Y/n don’t be sad that I took Heeseung from you–You know he would never like you anyways.”

You try not to burst out into laughter.

Shaking her hand off you, you continue to take out your books, closing your locker. You try not to look at her but end up giving her a quick glance which she notices.

“It’s okay Y/n! I’ll take care of him for you.” She feigns innocence. But this time–it’s laughable, extremely laughable.

“Just like the multiple guys you took care of when you had a boyfriend, right?”

It comes out of your mouth before you can even realize it–And you swear you can hear someone gasp a few lockers down, but you don’t see who it is.

Guilt immediately takes over you when she stays silent for a few seconds. She looks at you once more and you swear you can see a hint of sadness behind her eyes. One that she doesn’t show but is still obviously there.

Slap!

You wince at her hand, hoping that she misses really badly and embarrasses herself too. You immediately change your mind about feeling guilty. Because did she just try to slap you? And why did you hear the sound but not feel it? You’re starting to think she did miss really badly–because you feel fine.

Opening your eyes, you put your hand to your cheek, you massage it–trying to make sure that you actually weren’t slapped until you see a hand, stopping her midway.

Looking behind you, you see Heeseung, once again–your savior from the devil herself.  He quickly throws off her hand, turning to you with a smile.

“Heeseung!” She whines, “Y/n was being so rude!” Suddenly, her voice becomes two pitches higher–which makes you want to vomit.

You roll your eyes. Then your eyes catch a group of boys weirdly positioned near your locker–wait a minute. Those are Heeseung’s friends. Jay, James and Sungwoo–You think. You hear one of them chuckle at your situation.

You don’t blame them for eavesdropping. But they aren’t necessarily good at it. You had heard one of them gasp earlier. Giving them a death glare, you turn back to your current situation.

Heeseung is frustrated at her–and it’s kind of hot–he’s glaring daggers like you’ve never seen before. But somehow he speaks calmly. Though he’s also firm with his words when he says, “Leave Y/n and me alone. You’re annoying both of us.”

Elbowing him, you whisper, “Heeseung I don’t think that’s going to work.”

He looks at you, face immediately contorting to a softer expression. “Just trust me.” He whispers back, and you nod.

You honestly didn’t think it would work–no offense to him. If you said that to Sooyun then she would’ve definitely tried to slap you again or something. But she stays weirdly silent. Muttering a small whatever and walking away to god who knows where.

Though you were pleasantly surprised it drove her away–you forgot to realize that Heeseung is smart. He knows how to work his way through conversations–when he’s not talking to the girl he likes–and get the outcome he wants.

You’ve watched him persuade Ms. Nam–who by the way, is as stubborn as a rock–to lift his grade up a few points for his “excellent participation skills” and his “ability to help others pass''. Which were true. But even if he was Isaac Newton you still didn’t think that Ms. Nam would agree.

“Gosh we just parted ways, are you obsessed with me?” You tease, feeling how he wraps an arm around your waist.

“I might be.”

Chuckling, you snuggle your head into the dip between his neck and shoulder. Quickly lifting your head up to look at Heeseung’s friends. You wave goodbye to them as you two walk to your first period.

On the way, you pass one of the entrances to spot Miyeon, coming in absolutely drenched. As you're about to go up to her the bell rings, making the hallways fill up with people trying to get to their class.

Luckily, you two make eye contact. You raise an eyebrow addressing her situation. In return, she laughs, showing her ripped umbrella.

Laughing to yourself, Heeseung looks at you with confused eyes. Telling him the story, he lets out a small chuckle. Telling his own story of how he broke an umbrella trying to fence Jay with it.

When you get to your first period, you take your seat next to him. You usually dreaded going to your physics class every day, but this time, you realize you don’t think you mind being in this class as much as you thought.

And after years of hatred and resentment, you feel like when you’re around him that you can finally breathe again.

6 MONTHS HAD GONE BY SINCE YOU STARTED DATING

But it seemed that every other week the Lee’s came over. It was more awkward than ever. 

You can’t remember when it started, but Heeseung’s seat wasn’t across from yours. Instead, every other week that the Lee’s came over, or you went to their house–he had started to take the seat next to yours.

But as often as they visited–that didn’t stop them from making the situation awkward. For example–

“When are you guys getting married?”

You choke on your rice. Feeling Heeseung’s firm pat on your back when he lets out an awkward chuckle. “Not anytime soon–In the future. After college when we’re both situated.”

“Yeah what he said–” You choke out, drinking gulps of water to wash down the cough that's coming out.

You can hear him ask, “Are you okay?”

Looking to your left, you nod, smiling softly.

The hand that was on your back moves to squeeze your thigh. You stare at his face for just a moment longer, before turning back to the dinner table.

Together you continue to eat the food your mom has graciously made. The warm end of spring sun lays across you making the table glow a light orange.

The light makes Heeseung’s hair look a lighter brown than it usually is–And you like it a lot.

The conversation turns from your relationship to any small talk they can think of. Like the neighbor’s gossip or how someone else's daughter got accepted to Korea University which only had an 8% admission rate.

Sometimes you would butt in, giving knowledge on something they know less about or they would ask you if you knew the person. But for the most part you stayed quiet like you always did. 

After you two had both finished eating, you had both been dismissed by your parents. You walk up to your room, and Heeseung follows hands interlocked with each other.

You let out a sigh of relief when you finally sit down on your bed, you lay back–tucking yourself under the blanket and you can feel a dip next to you.

Scooting closer to him, you can feel his arms wrap around you. No words are exchanged but you can hear the soft humming of the laundry machine or the tweets of the birds outside your window.

It’s not dark outside, but the sun has started to set. Casting a golden glow that peeked through your window covers.

You thought you were wide awake after dinner. but for some reason a yawn slips out of you. You close your eyes slowly.

“Are you tired, angel?”

Angel.

You swear you can feel yourself turn into mush whenever he calls you that. It was a nickname that had started soon before you were dating–but he never had gotten rid of it. And you didn’t mind at all.

“Hm?” You let out, barely above a whisper.

“Are you tired?”

Your body acts in weird ways when you’re around him. Sometimes you can feel your stomach burst into butterflies or how your cheeks start to burn. But recently you’ve been getting so sleepy around him. 

You open your eyes, “Yeah kind of, I don’t know why.” 

He raises his arm, his hand comes up to your face and lays his thumb on your cheek. Rubbing it soft and slow.

“You can go to sleep Angel, I don’t mind.”

You shake your head slightly, just so his hand won’t come off. “It’s too early, I don’t want to ruin my sleep schedule.”

He hums in response, moving his hand to play with your hair. “Do you want to watch a movie? We should get ready for bed first though.” He offers. 

You agree, it’s barely above a whisper but he can still hear your voice.

Slowly sitting up, you both walk to the bathroom.

When you walk back to your room, he’s already sitting down, waiting for you to sit down next to him.

You're glad he’s already picked a movie, because you know if you picked you two would be spending hours just scrolling through the selection.

The movie starts– displaying the title “10 Things I Hate About You” in red text.

You smile at the movie, knowing that it’s one of your favorites. You snuggle in closer, wrapping your arms around his and laying your head on his shoulder. 

It’s nearing the end of the movie when you mumble, “Did you mean it earlier?”

It’s pitch black now. The only light coming through your window was now the bright moon, reflecting the sun’s light.

You loved nights like these, where you would stay at your house, just watching a movie. But somehow Heeseung had always fallen asleep after you–curse his night owl habit.

“Did I mean what, pretty?” 

“When you said that you wanted to marry me when we’re both settled down, did you mean it?”

He pauses for a second, and you hear the movie playing in the background. But somehow the sound felt so far away.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.

His silence starts to worry you “It’s okay if you don’t I just–”

“Of course I want to marry you. If I could, I’d propose right now. ” 

You can feel your heart start to race, you lift your head off your shoulder to look at his face. To make sure he’s not teasing you. But he’s looking at you with the most love sick eyes you’ve ever seen. You feel yourself grow small and flustered under his gaze, but he doesn’t falter. Only a small smile appears on his face.

I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare 

“You’re serious?”

I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.

“I haven’t given you any reason to doubt that, right?” He says that teasingly, but you can tell there's a hint of genuine questioning behind it.

“No.” You mumble.

“Okay–just in case you’re lying, I love you, Y/n. I love everything about you, I’ve loved you since the moment we’ve met and I’ll love you until the moment we die and even after that. I love you, Y/n, I hope you know that.”

You can feel your breath hitch as he says that. You two don’t say those words often, not because you don’t love each other but because you think that actions matter more than words. 

You’re silent for a few seconds, processing every thing he’s just said. You can still hear the movie, but you seemed to have missed some lines–not that it matters anyways. You have the whole dialogue memorized.

 I hate it that you’re not around. And the fact that you didn’t call.

When you realize he’s waiting for your response, you kiss him. You kiss him until the butterflies that flood your stomach get tired and stop flying, you kiss him until you can feel your lips grow swollen and red, you kiss him until the only thing he can think of is your lips on his.

When you pull away your both breathless, staring at each other with tinted red cheeks.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

“I love you–by the way. That wasn’t a way of avoiding saying I love you.” You blurt out, and you can see the smile growing on his face from miles away.

He chuckles, squeezing your cheek in your hand before turning his head back to the long forgotten movie. “We missed the best part” He frowns.

“You’re saying I just made out with you for you to only care about the fact we missed Kat’s poem?”

Yeah, Heeseung is still really weird. But you don’t mind it. Not at all.

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yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

time is going by too quickly. never stop talking about jonghyun. never stop sharing his words of wisdom, his poetry, his music. don’t let people forget his voice or his face or his name. don’t let anyone forget him or put him in the past. keep on loving him.

request: smth along the lines of the neos admiring mark’s baby (i’m still so sorry about deleting it hdhdhdhhd)

[1:59 pm]

“Look who finally decided to show up. If it isn’t Mark Lee after— omo is that my favorite niece?!”

Yuta’s eyes lit up upon seeing the toddler in dad!mark’s arms. He rushed forward quickly to pluck her out of her father’s arms, drawing a giggle from her as he spun her around. The other members shuffled closer in excitement, each greeting the girl in their own way. They complimented her perfectly parted pigtails and adorable checkered dress, which must’ve been her mother’s doing. Her contagious smile never faltered.

“Wait give her to me for a moment,” requested Mark, opening his arms for her.

Haechan frowned. “Baby hog,” he muttered under his breath, but handed her over nonetheless.

Mark grinned and held her close. “Watch this.”

With that, he set his 11 month old daughter on the ground and she watched him with curious, unbothered eyes, her fingers in her mouth nonchalantly. As he let go of her, she swayed slightly, barely accustomed to standing on her own. The other members surged forward, ready to catch the unstable girl but Mark waved them away.

“Trust me. Just watch.”

He crouched down to match her height and cooed at her. “Okay, come to me now kiddo. You can do it!” he coaxed.

Beside him, Doyoung scrunched his nose in distaste. “Kiddo? Since when did you become my uncle?”

Johnny nudged him harshly. “Shut up. Look at her!” he pointed at the girl who was hesitantly lifting a foot.

Her unsure gaze turned to Mark who had a reassuring smile. “That’s it baby. Look at you go!”

Encourage by this, she picked up the pace and took another step. However, the infant miscalculated the landing and took a step too wide, resulting her to topple over. Mark was quick to react and had her back in his arms before you could say ‘boo.’

“She walks now?” Taeil asked quietly, a hint of pride in his voice.

“We’re working on it, but she’s doing good so far. Right cutie?” murmured Mark, beaming and softly kissing her cheek.

Yuta snatched her from her father for the second time that day and held her up proudly. “You’re so old now! What are we going to do with you?”

psa for content creators

if you tag your gifs/moodboards/any original post with “mine” or “my stuff” your posts won’t show up in any tags on the ios app

you can read more about the issue here: (x)

Dollarstore Mistletoe ‣ ljn

‣ genre: fluff, friends-to-lovers, female reader

‣ wc: 2.7k

‣ summary: Jeno looked up at the mistletoe then at you, cheeks heating up from the situation. So that’s why Hyuck had mistletoe. 

this was going to be a short blurb but sike… enjoy!

-

You sat at the corner of the room, eyes drawn nervously at Donghyuck who was holding a tied up bunch of mistletoe in his hand. Though he was tossing it to himself, you could already read his mind from across the room. He had a sly smirk on his face as he glanced between you and Jeno who chose to sit between Jisung and Chenle.

Donghyuck, I fucking swear. You texted him, eyes growing wide in a subtle warning once he looked back up at you. 

He laughed out loud before texting you back, I’m not doing anything.

Not rn but ur going to.

He loved going over to your place just to tease you about your (apparent) undying love for Jeno, constantly pushing you to make a move because Jeno was a ‘giant wuss’ and ‘would not grow balls to do so himself’ while you ‘had potential’. And honestly, you weren’t sure what to believe when it came to Donghyuck. He was a trickster. Who knew if he was lying this time or not. 

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