Reminder

You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these

“kill them with kindness” WRONG! nether dimension

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There really is no feeling quite like discovering a new song that fits your blorbo to a T. Best I can do to convey it is something like

Bothersome creature

How about an allsan au where almoat everyman he meets absolutely fumbles for him when they spend only 5 minutes with him, he ofcourse is oblivious (hes not even bi in denial he's just stupid)

It starts ofcourse with zoro seeing him hold up a marine by the throat, Gin and Luffy being given food out of kindness and nothing else, Ace, crocodile being impressed by the mr prince tricks and so on so on

Also lots of men flirt with him on island but are quickly chased away by a glare and a sword to the throat or a guy wrapping around the pretty boy demanding food (or the good old possessive hat placement)

You decide the end couple but the whole of blue fumble for Sanji fr fr

Give this man all the simps.

Zoro choking on his drink as watches Sanji lift a marine by the throat which makes Usopp and Nami giggle at him. Gin falling for him as he eats the best food he's ever had in his whole fucking life that's keeping him from starving to death. Luffy falls in love with the way he talks about the All Blue and cares about his job and others. He's so fucking kind.

Ace falls for the guy who takes care of the others and doesn't let guests work, who spoils the handful of a little brother he has. Sir Crocodile who thinks the blond is cute and clever, who set up chances for his captain to save the crew and then him. Koza who sees how well he's taken care of his princess and the help he's given to take back Alabasta. He still insists on helping to serve and cook and Cobra is giving Koza knowing looks that make him flush and avert his eyes from the king and the cook.

Maybe it's after the time skip, after Dressrosa when Barto is literally drooling over the 'ONLY ALIVE' poster that Law is flustered and asking Luffy and Zoro about the cook. They're staring at him as Robin is giggling to herself because they are possessive. Both of them. It's the Monster Trio. Sanji is oblivious. Both of them are grumbling about Sanji not seeing their obvious interest but it's Sanji. If someone doesn't hit him over the head with a four by four he's not going to take the hint. Ask all of Tashigi's men from Punk Hazard who were crying at the cook not taking their advances. Okay maybe he just needs to be beaten with said four by four. Pedro straight up sacrifices himself for Sanji and Sanji only feels bad he's dead and that his life ended coming to get him.

You got the rest of the North Blue Boys who are obsessing over Stealth Black and Law feels like throwing up if it wouldn't insult the cook, he's so fucking excited. Luffy is over the fucking moon to see it in action. Yamato looking at Sanji from across the party and Luffy asks him what's up and he's just like Law with the whole 'the cook' thing. MARCO KNOWS better, he knows how to make an impression so at one point he's just talking to Sanji and Sanji keeps looking between Marco and whatever he thinks he needs to be doing so Marco just lightly grabs Sanji's chin and says it's rude to not focus on the person you're talking with. Sanji is so red and stuttering as Luffy wraps a rubber arm around Sanji screaming for meat as Sanji is ripped from in front of Marco to like the other side of the room.

Maybe it would end with zolusan or whatever the ship is called. Zoro asks if they have to do what Marco did after all the flirting he and Luffy have been doing for all of their sailing together and Sanji just being confused at what they're talking about.

This like when the costco founder said he'd kill the cfo if he tried to raise the price of the hot dog

it's always sunny in dressrosa

…have any of you heard of the Hawkeye initiative?