Work Experience (9-5, Feeling Alive)

winter wakeup (ill rambles about studies n clothes)

imo winter only starts when it's december - i heard that some people count november as winter aswell? like nooo?? november is its own season. nightmare before christmas kinda season. it's currently half 3 in the afternoon and i'm still in bed because i'm sick, i had a ton of sociology work that was due today so i think i'm going to be slaughtered by an angry mike wazowski (my sociology teacher) next friday. i think there's a stomach bug going around school or something. i ordered stuff from shein (ear muffs, a scarf and leg warmers) and i'm praying it comes early because according to the website it'll come literally the afternoon of my trip and if it does i'm going to cry bc i'm going to be halfway to london by the time it arrives if that's the case. coming up with winter outfits is so hard? like the outfit almost always consists of your coat, shoes and bottoms from the knee down. idk abt you but i don't have a coat or shoe collection. that brings me to actually cute winter trends though. EAR MUFFS??!! I'm soooo glad those are coming back because they are v cute!!. puffer jackets are always cool, idk how to feel about long puffer jackets bc imo they're never very puffery, just a sad deflated blanket. it's like if santa was victoria secret model kinda thin vibes. just doesn't look right. i LOVEE flares with all my heart!!! they give me bratz doll vibes. super super cute!! i helped someone w work yesterday (it wasn't much effort i was just copy and pasting and typing stuff) and he paid me :DD i think i'll buy some new gold chokers bc two of my other ones snapped :(. I also need some new dangly earrings because i lost my fav ones D: rn, jewellery, claw clips,makeup and movies is the only thing keeping me alive. i really need to catchup on a level media homeworkwand pull a folder worth of work together this weekend. what do i even put in it?? pls help ok i'm gonna go back to sleep bc i feel gross but there's a giant spider in the bathtub so i have to wait for it to disappear. until later probably lol Amimi

“I don’t think that there’s anything worse than being ordinary.”

American Beauty (1999)

i really dislike it when people don’t understand perfectionism.

like, it isn’t always “person who has tons of motivation and spends a ton of time making this thing *just* right”

wayyyyyy more often than not it’s:

”I know that if I try to make this thing, it won’t be perfect, so I simply won’t try.”

which definitely sounds bad, right? but when you realize that it doesn’t just apply to voluntarily making art, then you realize how perfectionism is not at all a good thing in any context. 

“i know that if I try to work on this assignment right now, it won’t be good enough, so i’ll wait until the last possible moment so that I have something forcing me to do it.”

”i know that I should start going to the gym, but I won’t see any improvement right away, so I just won’t.”

”i know that i should brush my teeth tonight, but that won’t be good enough to undo the fact that i haven’t brushed them 4 days in a row, so I just won’t.”

perfectionism isn’t the uncontrollable impulse to make things “just right”. (although it can occasionally manifest as this.)

perfectionism is the absolute, psychological inability to accept the concepts of “good enough” and “better than nothing”. even when you spell it out for yourself in a long text post like this.

london livelihood

14:38, 15 Dec 22 sorry i didn't post before, we ended up back home at 10pm and i was severely drained from the days events yesterday i had another school trip! believe it or not, to oxford, i'll write about that in another post. so my trip was on the 13th! with school. it started off awful, the friend i initially intended to go with was ill so she couldn't come, i was convinced i was going to be alone and miserable, at the start it was depressing but things became really fun as time went on and i started interacting with people. our first stop was buckingham palace, super cool! i think it's a really beautiful place but it was overshadowed with the hecticness of everyone trying to sort themselves out among the crowd of tourists. next up was the london eye and then trafalgar and then leicester square, a dispute reared it's ugly head but i managed to have fun with a friend i'll dub as Mal (it's short for Malificent, get the disney reference lolol) unfortunately the london eye was closed off, my school refunded us for that part of the trip though! we weren't in trafalgar for very long, simply to take photos and get registrated. flirted with a cashier in M&M world, walked around, almost knocked a LEGO display over, explored tons of places, ended it off with a date with Mal in Maccies, because sweet curry sauce is the best thing ever. that was about it for leicester square. next up was covent garden and ohmygodddd. GLOSSIER??? the store was so pretty and they had those disposable applicators for everything so you could try out all the products. boybrow, cloud paint and lash slick were some of the best products i tried. NARS. in all the stores where i live they are never stocked from how quickly they sell out so when i saw a whole store dedicated to them i was sooo happy. their pressed setting powder is to die for i'm telling you. next up was Reformation, a bit of a let down, they had nice stuff here and there but it was nothing to wow at, POLO Ralph Lauren was also super nice inside, it felt like a movie set. we went to two more less notable stores, disappointed because we somehow completely missed the Dior and Chanel stores but we only had an hour to explore so we wouldn't have had enough time . i'm afraid this post is getting a bit too long to post so head on over to part 2!

twas the night before aqa sociology and ocr media paper 1 and your former study obsessed girl had given up on life

giving me ideas on how to ruin statues rn

In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.

Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.

Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.

work experience (pt 2!)

on my third day i had three new supervisors! the main one was the owner of the law firm who turned not to be not very intimidating like i thought he would be! he was very fun and nice! and he bought everyone in the office food which was really nice but i couldn't eat it because it wasn't halal :( he offered to go out again and buy me something but there was no way i was making my boss do that. he knew everyone in the magistrates court and i was supposed to see some of the clients with him in the cells but they denied me because i'm too young :// thursday i wrote letters to clients, did some general paperwork, looked at case files and made everyone tea and coffee. the main task that day was a review from a teacher at school which was generally favourable! and my supervisors gave us good reports aswell! i had also gone to youth court that day but it was mainly sitting around since i wasn't allowed inside the court - there was lawyer who was 70 years old who i spoke with in the waiting room, he was actually not far into his career as a lawyer as he decided to become one around the age of 40 which i thought was really coolll. then once all the youth cases were handled my supervisor and i got locked out the office so we played squares in the rain on my notepad, then i drew phoenix wright and thumbtacked it to the main board on the wall!. friday i went on a trip to leamington with another supervisor! leamington is really different to my town, i almost walked into a police station because it looked so done up i thought it was the crown court building! they had soo many good songs on the radio that day, i think i spoke a bit too much though, my supervisor was quite sad from something personal that had happened to her so i just kept talking and trying to cheer her up because she looked like she was constantly on the verge of tears, i think she's really amazing for still coming into work despite everything happening to her. the crown court in leamington is really different to the magistrates court where i live - in the magistrates court the public viewing place is just a few chairs at the back of the room but in the crown court, its a whole seperate place with microphones and a tv screen - i got let off early that day because there quite literally nothing for me to do, i wish i had just stayed there anyways for a few more hours because i kinda miss it, i'm really thankful i had such a good placement! sorry this post is a week late, i thought i had queued it but it turns out it's been sitting in my drafts, since that was the most eventful thing that happened in feb i think i won't make a february roundup since i've already told you everything until next time! Amina

Trying to identify someone's time zone by the hours that they're active on Tumblr is commiting the logical fallacy of assuming that anyone on here has a regular sleep schedule

january journey (jovialess)

i don't think jovialess is even a word but it is now. sorry this post is a bit late, i've been super busy. this month felt so long??? so many things have happened that i can't recall them off of the top of my head. fell out with some people, had my first mock exams (they weren't amazing but i wasn't crying so that's something!) stressed and stressed and stressed about school work. like it didn't actually hit me until now that i'm in sixth form. growing up feels weird. until next time Amimi

may (miserable, not magical)

taysway ftw eng lit exam tommorow i haven't posted at all recently due to exams but i'll be back to it right after exam season is over (which means after june D; ) i thought i'd just hop on here and have a quick monthly diarypost which is actually just a dump of my thoughts for tommorow so my exam board is eduqas and they are the Hecate of all exam boards tommorow i'm doing two 1 hour papers - one on Macbeth and one on Lord of the Flies the topics (themes/ characters) i'm revising are: Macbeth Lady Macbeth Ambition Kingship Appearance vs Reality (i have given up completely on macduff but maybe i'll attempt banquo)

Ralph Simon Jack Piggy (brief on Roger) Savagery vs Civilisation the aim right now is just a 6 - then i'll resit it and do better in november next academic year wish me luck because i need it badly - Amimi