Screaming Because I Just Realised The Posts From Twosday And My Sixteen Birthday Have Just Been Saved

the last day of secondary school (surprisingly never cried)

i'm making this post as just a literal dump of all my memories today so forgive me if its all over the place. this morning i was in a panic over my chemistry exam (which i definitely didn't get an A in but oh well) i showed my outfit to my friends (a cottagecore-inspired thing with puff sleeves and a small flower pattern, black tights - i was supposed to wear pumps but i forgot them smh) and i really found out who my real friends were. upon showing them ( O and L is what we'll call them ) for my irl friends on here it's very very obvious who they are. L, i found has a problem she won't say to me - i dont want to look back on this with bad memories so i won't go into detail. O is one of the greatest friends i've ever had. she makes me feel like myself which is the best thing a friend can do for you today i danced (like a stripper at some moments) in a party with my best friend, in a hall with a DJ in the booth, smoke machines and flashing lights with a cup of ice in my hand. (and maybe heartbreak number one was staring but i found i didn't care about him) Life feels like a movie. I went to town, i felt like i was having a real teenage experience for the first time on the last day of secondary school. today was a confidence boost. maybe i got looks from cuties too (but don't base your self worth on men - gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss) i felt pretty for the first time in such a long time, even with my skin breaking out. when i walked back to school to pick up my bag and the equipment, i didn't go to the blue balcony outside the art rooms like i've done every day for a year to reminisce and cry. i'm so tired of crying. i think today i reached some kind of self acceptance too, which is one of the best parts. The sky is so blue today. God, I Love Life. ~ Amimi

what do you mean it’s half term break?

bruh, do your work to *the best of your ability* and then enjoy your break, we don’t like slackers who do everything last minute (remember to take breaks inbetween short periods of working)

conann>>>>>>

emotion is the hardest thing. you can know why you feel a certain way, what makes you feel that way, every detail inside and out but you can't actually put a stop to it. you'll just be going on with things and realise you don't feel that way anymore, for how long do things have to go on for until that realisation though. i'm stressing myself out by waiting.

he watched howls moving castle and decided to make movie howl his new personality

Darlington, demon and gentleman of Lethe, canonically reads and enjoys Diana Wynne Jones books

october onslaught (obstacles and others)

01:01 - Friday 28th October that title does not make sense but i spent a good however many minutes scrolling through synonyms on thesaurus.com to come up with it and i refuse to waste those efforts.

so sixth form turned up a notch in the past month, it's been flashing by really quick, i'm unorganised and flustered by every little thing - not to mention how thrown off i am by not only the sheer amount of work, but how much i have to try and catch up on due to sick days. now that i don't partake in anything other than school (as i've dropped my religious studies), i find myself growing really restless. i'm considering getting a job? but i'd have to make a cv and figure out how to make a bank account and tons of other things before even considering applying. idk i feel kinda dumb for not knowing these things already. it's half term holiday! well, almost the end seeing as i have the weekend and then have to go back to school. i plan on somehow plowing through all of the work i've missed (particularly sociology) and being fully up to speed by friday. wish me luck! i'll probably be doing tons of school posts to motivate me so i'll see you soon. until next time! ~Amimi

notes for future me (because 2022 is in three hours)

New Years Eve 2021 - 9pm

-confidence - work on speaking to people, noones going to hold your awkwardness over your head

(and anyone who does deserves to have all their movies spoiled and their favourite characters brutally murdered)

- study your ass off - this is your last year in secondary school. do well on your gcses and mocks. make it count, you want that scholarship you have to work for it. - you do you - let’s try to be ourselves and not care too much about other people and their irrelevant opinions this year and never cry over those who are undeserving Next year I want to sincerely better myself, please work on yourself too.  I’ll see you next year ~ Amimi

slight delay in the 7 days 7 movies series, had a trip to go see WICKED! in a huge theatre in London, I'll post about that later! got a huge amount of work to do for tommorow but I'll be sure to post very soon!!!

MBTI: DARK ACADEMIA AESTHETICS

ISTJ: jet black fountain pens and thin wire glasses, illustrated books on lepidology, microscopes with delicate geers, library card-catalogues, neat signatures, the scent of formaldehyde and the art of precision.

ESTJ: shiny black Oxford loafers and white button down shirts, busts of Roman generals, prefect’s badges, sepia maps, grandfather clocks, translating Herodotus, sharp silver letter openers with bloodred handles.

ISTP: leather-banded watches and ships-in bottles, sketched diagrams of bridges, chesterfield coats, bronze protractors and disheveled piles of graph paper, Voltaire quotes, chalk equations, pulling all nighters.

ESTP: roguishly loose striped neckties and crooked grins, varsity sweaters and scraped knees, secret passageways to the rooftops, Beat poetry, the scent of cedar, steam engines barreling through winding mountains.

ESFJ: black monogrammed gloves and red scarves, snowball fights, cups of hot chocolate, angelic choral voices, etiquette books, Jane Austen novels, silk robes, ballet shoes, light through stained glass windows.

ISFJ: cups of Earl Grey and wool button down cardigans, pressed lavender in books of Emily Dickinson poetry, piano sheet music, personalized wax letter seals, watercolor paintings in faded blues and greys.

INFP: Chelsea boots, olive green sweaters and tousled hair, existentialist novels and espresso in rainy cafes, signed postcards and fresh baguettes in bicycle baskets, moving to a new city alone, dried roses and stormy eyes.

ENFP: Disheveled brown corduroy, stradivarius violins, bell towers full of bats, Shakespeare comedies performed for raucous audiences, chai tea, Irish setters, impassioned marginalia, Botticelli curls, ivy creeping over red brick.

ISFP: reading Romantic poetry in grave yards, black turtle-necks, charcoal-stained fingertips, record collections, black and white films on antique projectors, gothic spires through fog, gin cocktails, poker faces.

ESFP: Maps hidden on the backs of paintings, muddy derby shoes, bacchinalia rituals, the scent of pomade, Oscar Wilde essays, crystal goblets and crystal chandeliers, green grapes and purple velvet, curled ram’s horns.

INFJ: tattered paperback copies of Virginia Woolf novels, tower windows, local ghost stories, Faire Isles sweaters, letter-writing by candlelight, flutes, paintings of rosy-cheeked Greek nymphs, pistachio macarons.

ENFJ: reading Whitman aloud, frescos of angels, paisley pocket squares, sumptuous dinner parties, passports and polaroids, oil portraits of royalty, studying multiple languages, plates of pasta, emerald rings.

INTJ: silver cuff links and black umbrellas, antique chess boards, ravens perched on wrought-iron gates, photography dark rooms, anatomical illustrations, suits of armor, stone gargoyles, hedge mazes, horror short stories.

ENTJ: leather-bound planners, tartan scarves, memorized political treatises, debate podiums and briefcases, black coffee, bookstores in the morning, statues of Nike, gold pocketwatches, fresh newspapers, brown berets.

INTP: oversized tweed blazers with elbow patches, tortoises in terrariums, the scent of old books, spiral staircases, stargazing under indigo skies, knee-high socks, Sherlock Holmes stories, breaking secret codes.

ENTP: glasses of dark red wine, laurel crowns, starting arguments about philosophy, tortoise shell glasses, domed ceilings, lore of trickster gods, snowy owls, Socrates’ dialogues, DaVinci sketches, ripe pomegranates.