I Just Have This Persistent Feeling Of “i’m Not Doing Enough” Combined With “i Don’t Have The

i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks

More Posts from Ficionalmanenthusiast and Others

one of my favorite ways to spend the time on this silly little app has to be looking up posts about songs or albums that i am currently obsessed with and see people sharing their love for them. i love it. i love seeing humans care so much about one song, each for multiple different reasons, to the point of writing so beautifully about their fondness for it and post it for strangers to see. it's like, you posted about this song in 2015 and your opinion about it resonates with me in 2024. i love it, please don't you ever stop.

Part of the writing process is listening to the same song on repeat until the words are absolutely meaningless and you're absorbing the pure, undistilled VIBES.

And then you go adding that essence to your draft like motherfucking vanilla extract, baby.

Emily Dickinson’s Electric Love Letters to Susan Gilbert
Brain Pickings
“Come with me this morning to the church within our hearts, where the bells are always ringing, and the preacher whose name is Love — shall

“We are the only poets,” Emily told Susan, “and everyone else is prose.”

8 months ago
There Comes A Time When Fandom Becomes Less Of An Escape From Anxiety To Being The Source Of Anxiety.

There comes a time when fandom becomes less of an escape from anxiety to being the source of anxiety. Sometimes I need to remind myself what’s important to focus on, and I made this chart to help me with that. 

(Posting this at the request of a few people. The design/concept was inspired by an instagram post about covid-19 located here). 

6 months ago

No one warned me that coming into your own also includes grieving the life you were conditioned to believe you wanted.

Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)
Every Surprise Song On The First Leg Of The Eras Tour (x)

every surprise song on the first leg of the eras tour (x)

katniss usually reserves the term beautiful for things of the capitol (or the capitol-esque districts). whether that be cinna's beautiful costumes (thg, 139; cf, 20) or the district one tributes (thg, 69, 192; cf, 54). the role of katniss's prep team is to make her beautiful (mj, 54). 

and because of this association with the capitol, katniss prides herself on not taking pleasure in it. she is eager to "scrub the scent of beauty from her body" when she is in the capitol (thg, 139). and she jokingly teases peeta for being susceptible to the capitol's beauty unlike her (cf, 60). even as prim compliments her on her beauty before the first reaping, katniss is quick to counter that she is nothing like herself (thg, 15).

because while she might describe her woods and the nature around her as beautiful, katniss does not directly call anyone in her close circle beautiful. she will imply that prim is beautiful like how her mother once was (thg, 3). or point out gale's beautiful hands as they assemble the snares (cf, 28). she will allude to the beauty of these people. but never directly coin them as beautiful. except for one person.

because in her overwhelming relief, the peeta that she eagerly rushes to embrace for the first time after the games is clean and healthy and beautiful (thg, 360). it is almost like her mind lets it slip in at the last second. that he is beautiful. and afterward, all of the items that peeta produces are labeled beautiful. his cakes (thg, 95), his cookies (cf, 8), and his pearl (107). it seems like everything that his hands touch become beautiful from association.

and for all of the talk katniss gives about not having an eye for beauty, she relies on it in what she thinks are her final moments. after katniss gives peeta the life-saving medicine and collapses in front of him, her eyes fall on a beautiful green-and-silver moth (thg, 189). and she eagerly searches for a final piece of beauty before the quell arena explodes. but she can't find peeta (cf, 108). she can't find his pearl (cf, 108). so, her eyes eventually settle on a star to give her comfort (cf, 108).

and so it is even more tragic that the one person she allowed herself to deem beautiful was morphed into something else. just like in haymitch's games, where all of the beauty of the eden-esque arena turned into a deadly facade (cf, 56). only now snow has turned katniss's beautiful boy with the bread into a personal weapon against her. and it is so demoralizing to katniss that she vows vengeance and then hopes for a quick death in the process.

but then that makes it even sweeter that peeta is the only person that truly comes back for katniss in the end. because the war was almost successful in taking away everything beautiful from katniss. gale's beautiful snare-constructing hands became the means of senseless violence. prim's face was no longer there to be reminiscent of katniss's mother's beauty.

but there he was. and although burns licked his forehead and scars were scattered throughout his body, no amount of fire could ever burn away the beautiful blue of his eyes. slowly, her beautiful boy came back to her. a long glance across the breakfast table. an awful joke directed towards him that was quickly rewarded with a smile that not even the games could take away (thg, 360). his embrace that hints of cinnamon and dill still there after all this time. because while the war may have convinced katniss that she was unworthy of beautiful things, her dandelion in the spring reminded her that she always was.

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends

Ppl rlly be complaining about the decision to cast Tom Blyth as Coriolanus Snow, saying that he's "too hot" to dislike him when that's exactly the whole point of the saga — to make you forget about the cruelty of everything and focus only on the "pretty side". And that's literally panem et circenses.

Agh I'm so mad💀

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ficionalmanenthusiast - Good Luck, Babe!
Good Luck, Babe!

Fandom Maniac//Hufflepuff// fanfic writer and fanatic

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