Latest Posts by feuilletonette - Page 2

A lesson I've recently learned that changed everything is that challenges aren't appearing in your life because your manifestation isn't working. It's because your manifestation is working! You are being honed and polished into that higher version of you. You asked for more, now the universe is removing all the excess and forcing you to upgrade your life no matter how uncomfortable initially. That requires your mindset to change, your standards, your values, your discipline and your self-respect. Your manifestation is unfolding right now, all you have to do is keep moving forward. It's already yours.

— Susan Sontag, from “Death Kit,” (1967) (via lunamonchtuna)

i just know tumblr is my app bc where else could i rant my current hyperfixation in the bouts of my sporadic consumption of media then disappear for an eon only to renounce myself again because i'm like, hi sorry for being inactive lately. i spiraled into an incurable slump that i can't literally digest a paragraph or finish a movie and form a coherent sentence but i'm recovered. here's my current sixty-two obessesions, unsolicited analysis, uncalled for opinions, and oh—i also made a position paper and bill proposal to make that fictional world a better place

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

"Book Colin could never stay angry that long..."

Sweetheart, he repressed his jealousy as much as he denies Whistledown by being intimate with her so when the Cressida plot emerges, he conciously hurt Penelope physically because of his unadressed anger.

In contrast, show Colin refuses to be taken by passion because he doesn't want to deduce the sanctity he and Penelope shares in those sacred moments. Not when he's processsing his hurt and overcoming his trauma response.

And speaking of the trauma response, the Marina Thompson plot wasn't even in the books, even Eloise and Theo's. And rewatching season one had built how much damage it really did to show Colin and his family amongst other things LW wrote about them. He actually had more motivation to act on his pain, yet still reacted way better than book Colin ever did.

I was surprised to see that Whistledown wasn't even as controversial as she is in the show. She barely done damage, all she has to say was that he's too charming in which the only thing he could personally complain about.

It's the only book I read in Bridgerton series because I couldn't get enough of Polin, but the only nice thing about it was their first meeting. I would rather divorce the two versions of him. I'm so relieved that Pen was the one to do THE speech. Because it's HER moment. It's about her coming out in the shadows and reclaiming accountability for the triumphs as much as the hurt she had inflicted.

I cannot handle how soft Colin is with Pen. He is so bloody sweet and attentive, and he uses an specific tone to speak to her that is just his Pen voice. He is so aware of her. I love the way Colin Bridgerton loves.

Bridgerton S3, they could never make me hate you.

I had been consuming a lot of contents albeit very much revolves around these two darlings, Penelope and Colin. I just couldn't get enough. I was simply never the same after Polin. Never.

It had been pressing weeks when I felt the shed of my old skin upon the compounding insinuations of loss affection toward men of haunting past. In which with all their might would do everything to sabotage the relationship, to run screaming and crying and throwing up to absolutely defy these insurmountable feelings, one could label within the word, love. Until they are utterly consumed by these thoughts and overwhelming need to express such affections where the only way to ever cope results to angry, passionate confessions of love.

I am wild to witness the stark difference of how we see Colin did none of those things because in my conclusion, he wasn't as emotionally constipated and the first three leads and it is such a refreshing medium to see without ever actually stripping him flat. That is what I want: a tender, loving, down bad softboy declaring that if his purpose was to love a woman as great as me, then he shall be a very fulfilled man, indeed.

The argument that he didn't say the 'I love you' enough debate was, in surface, quite understandable but if you start to analyse closely, after the proposal, almost every interactions he's had revolved around finding an opportunity to express his love and admiration to/for Penelope, especially in his conversation with his siblings.

He didn't need to scream his confession, he'd been attuned and embracing it (enthusiastically so) once realised, that is why he was never repulsed of having to speak of it the first place! In fact, he even actively communicates it in the most beautiful way possible.

He sought advice from Violet, followed Anthony straight away when he told him that he should tell her he loves her. Listen to Kate's marital advice. He's open, he's receiving help, he's trying to process his hurt and overcoming his triggers. He's learning to do better but it wasn't perfect. He made mistakes along the way but eventually led him to the path of acceptance.

He wanted to love her better, despite of and in spite of. Colin had always been introspective so when he had discovered the root of his actions, he gathered up the courage to be vulnerable and admit it to Penelope. That he was feeling envious because he never truly felt good enough. But this was recieve to be affirmed of his inherent worth. The thing I love about this couple is that they felt so human and that propelled them to move past such damaging beliefs of themselves to do better.

Don't even get me started with Penelope, I could make dissertations of how well she was written for all anyone could care. Miss girl is ambitious, I love how her mental glow-up was able to comply how well her physical glow-up was executed also. In the end, she needn't to choose between herself and the man she loves.

She can be both independent and cherished by a man, a man who constantly worked on himself because she mattered more than his ego. She may have wavered after various discouragement and she had tried, so so hard to give up her success but she couldn't. Whistledown is something she wouldn't compromise as it would mean betraying a part of herself. So I was glad that upon fighting for it, the people around her soon realised that this is something they could not deny and something they should fight with her not off of her. I'm glad that the show was able to depict that Penelope could have both. Being a succesful, career-driven woman should not cost you your love, or at least the right one. And it's a powerful message to have.

I also love this passage of weilding her power into more productive causes such as giving voice to the voiceless. I hope we see more of it for the upcoming season.

Though, of course it's not perfect, with pacing issues and subplots with purpose I had hard time figuring. But if there's one thing I couldn't stress enough, season 3 has so much depth and I was very glad to dive upon the narrowest trenches of it.

It was so beautifully done and that is why I also stand that Polin have the strongest foundation so far as they navigate their biggest block and be the best versions of themselves together, and occasionally, with the help of one another.

P.S I am only talking about the show Polin, I hated the book, but I suppose this would be for another post.

“In the end, you feel that your much-vaunted, inexhaustible fantasy is growing tired, debilitated, exhausted, because you're bound to grow out of your old ideals; they're smashed to splinters and turn to dust, and if you have no other life, you have no choice but to keep rebuilding your dreams from the splinters and dust. But the heart longs for something different! And it is vain to dig in the ashes of your old fancies, trying to find even a tiny spark to fan into a new flame that will warm the chilled heart and bring back to life everything that can send the blood rushing wildly through the body, fill the eyes with tears--everything that can delude you so well!” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

idk about others but evan rosier is such a dotting cat-father

Grad school is lying to you. You can indulge fixations on obscure topics on your own time. You can sit in a library color-coding notes on articles printed from JSTOR for free. You can argue with dead philosophers in essay format whenever you like. Academia is a state of mind.

there should be a thing called lustful academia. romantic academia but more passionate. pomegranate juice dripping down your hands as you open the ripe fruit of love; stains left on the annotated book you’re currently reading. lady dakota warren level of passion and lust for life, knowledge, art, and literature, but even more intense. pure bacchanalia. 

i like men that make things happen

Sylvia Plath, from a journal entry featured in "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath,"

Creativity is a flow state. Creation is a form of divine energy. Do not become so obsessed with your creative projects or self-development that you inflame and stress your tissues and blow your circuits out. Do not overdose on how-to, self-care or motivational YouTube videos which can have an adverse effect and drain your vital energy. A certain element of healthy obsession is required but you do have to make time to rest, nap, play, exercise, lay up, spend time in nature, and prep nutrient-dense meals. Begin now building your capacity to feel safe in this world when you permit your work move a bit slower. Initially it may feel difficult or impossible—be okay with mastering the difficult or impossible. This is the magic of deep tissue nervous system work. It means learning to breathe deeply through uncertainty and the discomforts of the unknown and not always have dates, times, or answers while witnessing other people finish projects or level up around you. It means listening to your body when it needs to urinate and not just waiting until you are about to pee on yourself before you get up from the computer to relieve your overworked bladder. It means discovering ways to relax when you take days off. It means eating real food. It means turning off your phone or computer and playing records in low lights for the evening. It means letting yourself relax and just play with no aim or objective. Be okay with stepping out of constant productivity and hustle culture and aligning with the smaller, the slower, the gentler. This appears simple and easy, but for most, it will be surprisingly difficult and uncomfortable. But when you do so, you will be more magnetic, aligned, and healthy in the long run. Because female physiology doesn't run off of just light or achievements. It needs a strong foundation of supreme care, nutrition, and tending, or else it begins to weep and eventually scream. The female body is the pillar of the entire family/village/community and requires a lot more love and respect from us. Never forget that. -India Ame'ye, Author

this blog is not a well-curated museum. it’s my bedroom & i’m putting things on my shelf & taping things on the wall

my thoughts are haunted of him, perhaps because of the intellectual undertones i had to exert in order to formulate well-extrapolated interpretations in his character in spite of and despite its ambiguities.

Tom Sturridge as Nigel Colbie in Like Minds (2006) directed by Gregory J. Read.

the feminine, the masculine, the artistic urge to stare at the paintings until they make you hallucinate, to read poems until they seep inside your soul, to write such words that hold the power to shatter a person's heart and fill the void at the same time.

cindy kimberly for alo by lo nightly

Historical romances, stories of young, innocent love, clandestine meetings, that longing for a kiss, then parting of ways, that train taking one of them far away, writing letters and waiting for them, letters lost or left unread, a lover holding the other as a brutal wave makes them lose their balance, sticking together through the best and the worst of it—stories that break your heart but leave you smiling through the tears.

there’s nothing more romantic than someone choosing to learn you. flipping the pages in your soul delicately and digesting your chapters with an open mind no matter how difficult or uncomfortable some of your moments read, treating each bookmark with no judgment, but pure love.

oh my god there are so many books to read and instruments to learn and languages to speak and poems to write and oranges to eat and ideologies to study and songs to sing and films to watch and people to kiss and

i am a changed person (consumed a new piece of media)

― Albert Camus, Notebooks: 1935-1951

oh the urge to be part of a hedonistic slightly deranged secret society

dorian only thinks his portrait is beautiful because he sees it as a depiction of his fleeting youth and identity, but the truth is the portrait is actually a reflection of basil, the artist, who put too much of himself in it. it’s not dorian who is beautiful, but rather basil’s pure love for him, which in turn is a reflection of basil’s soul and true nature. by loving dorian, and embracing his love through art without shame, basil has created the most precious thing, even if it is fleeting. much like romance, all art is quite useless, but it touches the human spirit nonetheless, and that’s important

being obsessed with your own OC is the most magical feeling

Perhaps one of my biggest assets has been my capacity to live in the present. Don’t lose yourself in planning, daydreaming, scourging, constantly preparing. The best time is now!

the everettian interpretation of quantum physics, the existence of different realities.

the everettian interpretation of quantum physics is a metaphysical or philosophical interpretation of quantum mechanics that proposes that every time a wave function collapses, a new reality is created. the interpretation is based on the idea that every possible path of reality exists in a separate timeline or dimension. according to the everettian interpretation, all possible realities exist, and we experience one of them at any given time. this interpretation has some parallels to the concept of the multiverse, which also proposes that an infinite number of realities and dimensions exist simultaneously. the everettian interpretation of quantum physics is essentially what some people call shifting reality (reality shifting). i said that according to the everettian interpretation, when a wave function collapses, a new reality is created, which means that different realities are constantly being created. so, whenever we experience something, we could be experiencing it in a new reality. that's the basic idea behind the concept of reality shifting.