Anon,are U Sure She Isn’t Chelsea Fan In Disguise? She Watched Our Game Yesterday Over Biggest Game

chelsea fc squad x barbie posters part two

click for part one

♥️

Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim followers. May you spend it in good health and happiness. 💚

the moment i knew m.m

where were you mase?

where were you when i needed you most, when i needed a shoulder to cry on, when i needed someone to get rid of all my insecurities?

where were you?

and i couldn’t help but sit and wait for you to burst the door open and sweep me away with your love and that smile that made me yours in the first place.

i’m happy that you didn’t though, because maybe if you did, i’d still be under that spell you put on me.

the spell that would make butterflies erupt in my tummy whenever it heard your voice and the spell that even if you did the absolute million would make me feel like the happiest girl in the world.

it was cold on that dark winters night, christmas lights glistened as they sat on my window frame, i should be looking at them, but i can’t seem to drag my eyes away from the door.

the door that at any moment, should open and you should step in laughing and apologising about how you got caught up in the traffic.

it’s been god knows how long since i last moved from this chair, an hour or two you would guess but you know it’s probably going on to three hours and yet i still hold on hope.

how come, you haven’t been bothered to come and see me, but the people i barely know come up to me and ask me how i’ve been?

you said you’d be here so why aren’t you here.

you said you’d be a fool to not come tonight and yet I am the one that’s stood in a pretty party dress looking like the fool.

i know that if i attempt to say anything about this to you later, you’d probably brush it under the mat, say it was no big deal.

if it’s no big deal, then how come i’m hurt?

you’d probably also say sorry.

but sorry doesn’t mean sorry to you.

your sorry means nothing but a five lettered word to you.

and i’ve learned that a long time ago and yet i’m still taking it.

i’m envious of those that stand around me in their little huddles, all of them laughing and chatting to their hearts content, whilst i’m just there, waiting for you.

the hours continue to pass by and yet i have got nothing from you, no messages, no calls, no nothing and all i want to do is shrivel up, hide away and be all alone. even though a smile is plastered on my face, all your friends can see through it, they always seem to know, yet you don’t and that’s not fair.

so when i’m all sad and embarrassed at your actions, they’re the ones that are there for me, they’re the ones that are whispering comforting words and hugging me not you. when it should be you. 

they’re the ones that are following me down the hall and into the bathroom.

not you.

they’re the ones that hold me close, when i can’t help but let it out and cry.

not you.

and all i care about is how you broke your promise, that you should’ve been here.

what do you want me to say, when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone that we know? and what am i meant to say when people are asking for you? just that you didn’t show.

you should’ve been here, if you were then maybe i would still be blinded by love.

but you left me there, standing there in my party dress, which i bought for, wearing my most expensive red lipstick, yet who am i dressed to impress, if you’re not there. they’re all standing around me singing and i think that’s what made realise, that’s the moment i knew. 

and that night, you called me saying ‘sorry that you couldn’t make it’ , and all i could say back, was ‘i’m sorry too’ 

because that was the moment i knew.

can’t wait for the other parts this is SO GOOD!!

juno! j.b p1

word count: 1.02k

it started with a chair.

the fact that i’m staring at two lines on a stick covered in my pee is because of a chair.

shit.

what am i meant to do now?

“what am i going to do?” i ask my friend through the phone.

“maybe it's just a food baby, what'd you have for lunch yesterday?" she replies, the phone rested on her shoulder as she painted her nails a pastel pink.

"i wish it was a food baby but i've taken three tests and it's showing nothing but two lines" i said sighing.

"wait- how did you produce so much pee?"

"i just drank loads of apple juice - anyway that's beside the point, i'm pregnant"

holy shit.

that feels unbelievable to say, i am pregnant.

"y/n" the voice takes me out of my little daydream.

"yeah" i reply

"who's the father?"

those three words suck me down memory lane.

it was just meant to be two nerdy virgins getting it on and now look at the consequences, of course we couldn't blame society for not telling us to "wrap it before you tap it" because we were forced through the painfully awkward sex ed lessons. we could only blame ourselves for believing the 'pull out method' was a reliable method of contraception. what an idiot.

but i couldn't deny it wasn't one of the best things i had experienced in my life, and that the way he made me feel when i reached the edge was almost mind-blowing, in fact i kept questioning whether or not he was a virgin. he was just that good, it would've been amazing if he didn't have such fast swimmers.

"it's jude's"

jude bellingham or jude victor william bellingham if you're like that. he was one of those guys that you wouldn't notice in a crowd full of men but if you were one of the lucky ones that did then you would be so happy. he was one of those guys that can read you even if you are so careful about not showing any emotion, he will know. i used to joke and say how it was superpower and he would just smile at me with those pearly whites. the same pearly whites that were hidden by his perfectly plump lips, that pulled me in and started the domino effect that led up all the way to now.

my friends laugh reminds me i'm not alone.

"what made you and bellingham bone? i didn't know he was you type"

she wasn't wrong. on any normal day you wouldn't feel such emotions for jude but that day was different, in fact i wanted nothing more than to kiss him until we were left breathless and he made my knees week.

"i don't know just something that happened" i reply a red blush appearing on my face

"you love him!"

"i don't think that's the most important thing to come out of this conversation."

"sorry, but what was he like?"

"he was amazing"

it was true, he was the best thing i've ever experienced.

"what are you going to do?"

"i don't know but i need your help."

jude was a footballer, a good one at that, but his routine was one from hell. he would wake up early, the kind of early that even in the summer mornings, the sun still hasn't rose. that kind of early. when he told me about his mornings, i felt like crying. he puts on his stupid high shorts and puts on his bright orange sweatbands; one around his head and a sweatband on both his arms and legs.

if i remember correctly, he then heats up one of those quick and easy waffles and then begins his laps around the neighbourhood. and that's why i'm sat here, on that same chair that ruined my life.

"hey jude"

"oh hey y/n oh that's a nice rug that tiger looks proud"

" i know right, i took it from mrs martins doorstep" he nods awkwardly in response to my words. i continue to speak "your shorts are looking especially shiny today, what's up with that?"

"oh thanks. my mum used some colour bleach thing, i don't know what it's called." he shrugs after he speaks, one arm rested on the back of his neck.

"so.. do you want to know something?" lord, give me strength.

"i mean sure, i guess"

"i'm pregnant"

i observe his face as he takes in the news. i don't know how he feels, his face is not letting anything show, his eyes void of emotion and maybe even soul. the only things he's doing is fidgeting with his hands, sometimes cracking his knuckles.

just as he opens his mouth to reply, jude's fellow runners appeared, their junks peeking through the shorts, that seem to get shorter and shorter everyday. those shorts make me picture them naked, whether i like it or not. he turns back to me and says,

"i- i'm meant to be running now"

"i know"

the air is tense, it's choking me. we both don't know where to look or what to say. luckily, he breaks it soon after.

"so.. what do you think we should do?"

hmmm. he's not as douchey as some say he is.

"i think, i might just nip it in the bud before it.. you know turns into what some people say is a baby. do you know that pregnancies can cause infants to roam the earth?"

he chuckles and i realise i haven't heard a sound as sweet as that damn chuckle.

"hm. i've heard that too, apparently we were one of them when we were younger"

i smile. my first real smile in a while. it's a peaceful smile.

"so you're okay with everything?"

"course, it's you that's the one going through it, so you do you."

i don't whether or not to speak again but i do.

"i'm sorry for having sex with you."

"i'm not"

"i'll see you at school"

i ride off on the bicycle i had kept rested on the armchair, leaving jude to his own thoughts.

the ONLY goalkeeper in europe to have an 80% save percentage in the championships league and in his domestic league ✨

mon cherié -benjamin pavard

summary: both you and benjamin are insufferably stubborn,which makes this “hot and cold” situation unbearable. if destiny wants to see you together,who is gonna be the first one to stop acting like you hate each other?

author’s note: thank you for all your support and requests so far! this is the longest piece i wrote so far and i really put my heart and energy into this one. let me know what do you think <3

word count: 2,5 k

warnings: angst,betrayal and mentions of cheating

What is it about us that we always want something we can’t have? Or someone. I had never craved anyone’s attention like this before. Not until I met him.

He was always there,yet so far out of my reach. Almost like a toy you will reach for at top shelves in stores. Unreachable for me. I never knew where I stood with him. One thing was sure- he was the one. He had to be. If not him,then who? I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. No amount of love movies could ever prepare me for that fatal attraction. Nothing compares to experiencing that moment. Destiny wanted us together,but did you?

From that moment on, he was the last thing I would have on my mind before going to sleep. It even got to a point where I couldn’t even escape him while I was sleeping. And when I wasn’t seeing him in my dreams,I would daydream about him. Not that I would ever admit that to him. I was too proud to do it. Eventually,that would cost us time we could already spend together.

As the time went by, I was convinced that falling for someone this hard is a form of self- destruction.It just had to be. Raw feelings and this catastrophic timing made the most painful combination. How is it even possible to love someone that much without really knowing them? I just saw right through you. For what you really are, and I still love every single part of you. Even flaws. That’s what made you so irresistible. Some said that’s because I had a savior complex and you needed to be “saved”.

The truth is- I needed you. Needed to be saved by your love. If anything,I loved your flaws more than anything. You wouldn’t be who you are without them. You desperately wanted to give off the impression of someone mysterious to everyone else and always leave them wondering. Who are you? Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies? Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them? What are you really like? Do you have someone? What rumors about you are true? For a good period of time,those rumors left me wondering too.

I scrolled through her post and it wasn’t because I was envious. The only thing I want for you is to be happy,even if it doesn’t include me. At least that’s what I was trying to convince myself. It worked for awhile. It got draining eventually and I was trying my best to hide it. I felt so pathetic for crying over someone who probably doesn’t even think about me. Why would you? I clearly did my best to push you away from me. We were never friends,but certainly not this either. How did it even come to this? From sitting together in classes and making jokes to not being able to stand each other.

I had to contradict everything you said. For some reason,even though you were shy,you always had something to say about everything. Truthfully,sometimes everyone found it frustrating. What did you wanna prove? It seemed like you wanted to be a teachers pet and always be against everyone else because you are above us. Straight A’s,tall,good-looking,popular among girls.. Even your football career seemed to be going in the right direction. What else is there to prove really?

Once again,I saw right through your facade. You wanted approval from others,which is something you always seek. Maybe not actively,but you love to feel accepted. You loved to make people laugh,but honestly, nothing about this situation was funny at all. Maybe destiny doesn’t wanna see us together after all.

Where did it all take a wrong turn for us? If „we“ ever were a thing after all. Everyone noticed the way we looked at each other. Self-proclaimed enemies don't look at each other with lust in their eyes. If I had to point out one specific event, it would be the moment where I comforted you about one of the rumors that was going around.

Not because I wanted to humiliate you or find out the truth so everyone can gossip about it and talk behind your back, just like they always do. Some nice „friends“ you have. It was because I wanted to let you know I'm not that naive to believe everything I hear or read.

And most importantly- to let you know I'm here for you. Someone you can rely on, shoulder to cry. I see you and your good heart. Your good intentions. The rumor has it that you were sending inappropriate texts to some girls while you were with that girl. There was no way anyone would want to hurt her, especially not you. She looks beautiful and kind, she probably gives you butterflies. I was having sleepless nights over thinking about how to bring that up, but let's face it-that's not something you just casually bring up in random conversation. Who in their right mind would just ask „Hey, did you send these inappropriate messages to girls while you had a girlfriend? „

Nobody, except for me. I was waiting for an opportunity to ask you about this for days, weeks even. Nothing seemed like the right time to ask you about it and I wanted it to be as natural as possible. Somehow, after all that overthinking, I brought it up in the most idiotic way possible.

I noticed you were walking home alone after school and stopped you. After so many years, I still don't know what got into me. All I know is that I suddenly felt like my heart was in my throat. Even though I was practicing what to say in the mirror so many times, I went completely off the script.

Not the first time we have been off the script, is it?

„Hey, can I just show you something if you have a second?”

„Of course, what is it?”

„Uhm, I don't know are you aware, but they are talking about how you were sending some questionable messages to a lot of girls.”

„Wait, what?”

„So you don't know? There are screenshots going around…”

„I have to go or I will be late for a game, but if you can, please send me those screenshots.”

„Good luck and I will.”

„Thank you. „

This definetly felt wrong. It felt like I was interrogating you for a „crime“ that has no correlation to me whatsoever. It wasn't my place to ask you that, but since I already did, I had to proceed with it and send you screenshots.

Nothing for hours.

Followed by „seen at 3:27 am“.

That's what happens when you go off the script,but that's life. We can't retake this scene and try again.

Now it's up to you to decide what comes next. At the very least, you could've thanked me for letting you know, but no. Radio silence at your end.

After that conversation, I wouldn't even consider us „enemies“. I would consider ourselves as strangers because, at the end of the day, that is what we are. Who was I fooling? I will never know what you are thinking, who you are when you are alone at night with your thoughts. My friends noticed that you were looking at me every time I looked away from you. They didn’t know about our conversation, but even then, they knew you looked like you were so desperate to say something. Still no progress and let's face it- there will never be one.

It's not like I didn't try to occupy myself with other things, other people. All of my attempts worked out only for a short amount of time. Not suprising considering they never left significant mark on my life. Looking back on it, I should've risk it, confess it to you and risk a rejection. It couldn't be that bad if it happened sooner, right? They say time heals open wounds of a broken heart, but what would be a medicine for however you wanna describe this? All my friends are tired of hearing of how much I miss you and I got sick of thinking about you all the time. It almost felt pathetic.

I needed something, well someone to get you off my mind. Funnily enough, my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, looked very similiar to you. It's safe to say I have a type. Brown eyes and curly brown hair. Very predictable of me. If I only predicted that so called replacements don't work out. If anything, that cheap version of you only made my life even more miserable with constant lying and gaslighting.

To make the whole story more embarassing, he broke up with me right before Christmas and ruined my favorite time of the year. Looking back on it, it was a blessing in disguise. There is just one thing I will forever regret if you put aside the fact that I endured his gaslighting for months. He was my first kiss and just looking back on it makes me physically ill. It's such a repulsive memory. Thanks God I complemently blocked that out of my memory.

On the other hand, I don't think he will block you out of his memory because he was also one of those that were envious of you, your talent, popularity and attractivness. Imagine if he knew he was your supossed replacement… Failed to even be the mediocre version of himself. He is free to add me on the list of girls who he didn't satisfy in any way. Not to wish bad upon anyone, but he doesn’t deserve to feel happiness after what he has done. Not to mention he most likely cheated too because I saw him with other girl on new year's party. Dissapointing but normal procedure by his standards.

Wanna hear something that is not a normal procedure in our story? Him sitting next to me in bus on our week long school trip. In the middle of the night as well. Everyone were asleep except few of us. I didn’t even notice him at first because I was got lost in my thoughts while looking through window. Night was so peaceful and you could see stars since sky was so clear, not a single cloud in the sight. He tapped my shoulder to get my attention and I just assumed it's one of my friends that was sitting behind me.

„Do you mind if I sit here? „

„No, go ahead. „

„It's a bit crowded back there so I hope you don't mind that I came. „

„It's okay, don't worry. „

„Why are you awake? „

„I could ask you the same thing. „

„I asked you first. „

„And you came to my seat so your rules don't apply here, monsieur . „

„Monsieur? I'm not that old,mademoiselle”

„Sorry, your dark cicrles are telling me a different story. „

„Hey, no need for that. „

„I'm just kidding, but seriously, why are you awake?“

„Because I can't fall asleep. „

„Really? „

„Really. That's why I'm here. „

„Huh? Am I supossed to tuckle you in and tell you a goodnight story? „

„I mean, if you want to… „

„Just go to sleep. „

„That's very rude of you, mon cherié. „

„What did you say? „

„Hm? Nothing, you are hearing stuff. „

„Goodnight then. „

„Goodnight. „

Well, that was suprising. His presence and the smell of his perfume were so comforting. It was almost like I needed him to fall asleep peacefully. To be more exact, it seemed like he needed me too.

Why are we each others safe place when all we do is bring chaos into each others lives?

Overthinking hit me again while he was leaning more and more towards me. This probbably doesn’t mean anything, but I would've lied if I said this isn't gonna disturb me. I was finally moving on and then this had to happen? How convinient.

„Sometimes I was conviced you are doing this on puprose. What else could it be? I just wanted you to make up your mind and put both of us out of this misery. I was hoping I will never ever come across you after high school. „

„I'm sorry, but that will never work out for you. Your shoulder probabbly went numb because I was all over you, I'm sorry. „

„Not just that, you were also drooling in your sleep. „

„That's embarassing. I hope nobody saw it. „

„Not only did they see you, they took pictures too. „

„Put that in a frame. But jokes aside, why did it took us so long? „

„Maybe because both of us are so insufferably stubborn? „

„That's what makes it more fun. „

„Suffering back then wasn't that fun, to be honest. „

„If this is suffering, then I wanna suffer forever with you. „

„Wow, so romantic of you. „

„Why are you rolling your eyes? I'm being serious. „

„It's just a natural reaction when I see you. „

„Are you thinking what I'm thinking or? „

„Oh stop winking at me and be serious for once. „

„Sorry, what were you saying? „

„I was about to say that I will never forgive you that you will never be my first kiss. „

„What?? I thought I was special? You are such a traitor. „

„Turns out you weren't the only one that was drooling over me. „

„Just so you know, that kiss doesn’t count. „

„So which one does? „

„This one. „

And he was right. That is the only that will ever matter.

no way?? news came out just after i said whoever wrote script for this season doesn’t deserve a raise??

WE GOT OUR 15 POINTS BACK MOOOVEEEEE

the moment i knew (m. mount)

TW: it's just sad :(

WC: 1.3K

A/N: this is part 1 of a multi part mini-series!!! each part will be inspired by a song, so this one is inspired by "The Moment I Knew (Taylor's Version)". i highly suggest listening to it as you read :)

"Surprise!" Dozens of voices shouted at you as you entered your apartment. You were taken aback for a brief moment before realizing what was going on. Your best friend Nicole, as well as a few other friends and family members, had gotten together to throw you a surprise birthday party. 

"Happy birthday, sweet girl!" A large smile formed on your mother’s face as she hugged you tightly.

“My little girl is growing up so fast” Your dad pretended to wipe tears from his face before he brought you into his embrace for a hug. 

"You always say that, dad!" You said. Your eyes darted around the room, looking for someone in particular. The party had been a surprise for you, but surely they hadn't forgotten to invite your boyfriend, right? 

You were suddenly pushed toward the large table that Nicole had set up in your living room for everyone to sit at. You were pushed downward into your seat, guests beginning to talk and make their way to the table. Nicole sat on your left, and the seat to your right was empty. You quickly took notice of that.

"Hey, Nicole?" You asked your friend, leaning towards her. 

"Where’s Mason?" Nicole thought about the guest list in her head.

 "I invited him. He said he would be here” You nodded at her answer, choosing to focus on the room full of the people you held closest to your heart. 

That seemed nearly impossible though. As the night went on, and as much as you tried to enjoy your time with your friends, you couldn’t get your mind off of Mason. You had imagined this moment in your head. You pictured him walking through your door with a large bouquet in his arms. He would immediately drop the bouquet and you would run into his arms, hugging him fiercely.

However, you were brought back to reality when you saw the front door crack open. Excitement filled you for a brief moment until it fully opened to reveal two of Mason's closest friends, Christian & Ben. You forced a smile as you made your way over to the boys to greet them.

You adored the two men, but you couldn't lie to yourself and say you weren't slightly disappointed. How is it that your boyfriend's friends arrived to your party before your own boyfriend did?

You gave each boy a hug before pulling away and starting conversation with the pair.

"Where's Mason at?" Christian asked you mid-conversation.

 "Uhh… I actually don't know" You tried to answer before you excused yourself and ran off to the bathroom.

Ben and Christian's faces were filled with concern as you practically ran from them. They followed you to ensure you were okay, stopping when they saw you sitting in the corner of an empty room, knees to your chest as tears started to fall down your cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked as he and Christian bent down to sit next to you.

“Mason’s never going to show up” You whispered as you looked up.

"He told me he would be here, okay?" Ben said, placing a supportive hand on your shoulder.

"He'll be here any minute. He probably got caught up with something" Christian threw you a soft smile. You nodded, wiping away a tear that had sprung loose. Maybe you were just rushing to a conclusion. Ben & Chris helped you up and you told them to go have fun.

Once they turned and walked away, you pushed open the bathroom door. When you were finally alone, the floodgates opened, and the tears seemed never-ending. They fell down your face in waves, ruining your mascara and red lipstick. You couldn't shake the thought that he wouldn't show up out of your head.

The emotions you felt throughout the night may not have all been good ones, but they all stemmed from love for the same man. No matter how hard you tried to focus on the positive, that he still had time to show up, it didn't matter if he was ever going to show up or not. It still hurt that he had disappointed you like that.

You fixed your makeup and exited the bathroom. As you made your way back to your table, you were met with Nicole.

"We're going to cut the cake" She smiled as she grabbed your hand and dragged you to your seat.

"Could we wait for Mason?" You asked quietly, slowly looking at Nicole for confirmation, but she frowned.

"It's getting late, and some of us have to leave soon" You nodded your head in understanding. As much fun as this party was, you were drained and wanted nothing more than to be in bed. Granted, you wanted to be in your boyfriend's arms, but by the looks of things, you wouldn't be having that.

You quickly checked your phone as Nicole went to grab the cake. You had tons of messages from friends & family that couldn't attend your party, but no texts or calls from him. Moments later, Nicole brought the cake into the room and placed it in front of you . Your mother placed two large candles in the white icing before grabbing a lighter and lighting the candles.

When the entire room started to sing happy birthday, you felt like it was going in slow motion. All you wanted to do was go to your bed and not leave, but instead, you pushed those feelings aside and blew out the candles.

~~~~~~~

It was past midnight by now, and everyone else had left. You dragged yourself to take a hot shower, hoping it would help you in some way. Afterward, you laid on your bed, scrolling aimlessly through Tiktok in attempt to take your mind off of the fact that Mason didn't show up to your birthday party. In fact, he still hadn't even called. He always seemed to be working; he never had time for you anymore.

The first few months of your relationship had been pure bliss. You both traveled together, trying different restaurants and exploring different cities whenever he had to go to another city for an away match. Now you couldn't even go with him like you used to. He always had to do press and additional training since he was still fresh off an injury. The only time you got to see or hear from him was when he called, or the sparse days he didn't have training, a match or any football-related interview.

But tonight's catastrophe took the cake. You were convinced that the other guests had noticed your boyfriend's absence, wondering why he wasn't here on your birthday. You couldn't even properly enjoy the evening, seeing as you were too busy wondering when and if he would show.

Just as you were about to call it a night and drift off to sleep, your phone rang. You examined the caller ID notification at the top of your screen, reading his name as any anger inside of you cooled when you accepted the phone call.

"Y/N!" He said. On the other end of the line, he sounded out of breath.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't make it tonight. I wanted to be there, but…" Before he could say any more, you interrupted him.

"Don't" You tried to ignore the hurt in your voice as you spoke.

"Y/n please-"

"It's been a long night, Mason. I'm really drained and I just really want to go to sleep" Your voice sounded broken.

"Oh okay. Well, I'll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can go out or something. Goodnight, Y/n"

"Good-" Was all you could manage to utter before he ended the call. He didn't bother telling you that he loved you. In fact, he hadn't uttered anything of significance throughout the entire duration of your phone call.

Your shoulders slumped as you dropped the phone onto your bed, crying softly into the pillow as you drifted off to sleep, dreading your planned phone call for the next morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist

@ithinkimokeei @myheartgoesvroom @mounthings @tall-tanned-tattoo @itsnotgray @alwaysclassyeagle @charlewiss @mortirolo @fallingin20 @chelseagirl98 @lovelynikol16 @username-envy @swimmingismywholelife @pulisicsgirl @notsoattractivearenti @pulisichavertz @fernandezology @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @bracedes

gavi fluff watching a horror movie <333333

late night confessions - pablo gavi

pairing: pablo gavi x reader

author’s note: sorry this took awhile,but thank you for request! got a little carried away with this one and gave it a little twist. the end is purposefully like that to indicate she fell asleep. i hope you will like it<3

word count: 1,7 k

some people love to consume fear.

it was no secret you were one of them ever since… well ever since you can remember. you would hide in closets to scare your family,and when you would play hide and seek with your friends- it was a real nightmare to find you. nobody really had a clue from where did this love for fear came from.

you craved all kinds of frightening experiences. at the same time, fear is not exactly a positive emotion. trembling while darkness pushes in around us- this is not a feeling we would describe as pleasant. then,what is it about fear that you are so drawn to? most of people go to great lengths to avoid it. what better time to get scared than in the spookiest time of the year?

all of this began on halloween of 2014. haunted theme park opened near your city and, of course, you begged your parents to let you go. they let you go since they thought some of your older friends will be there too. all of you loved to watch american horror story,but to be fair the majority of them watched it because of evan peters. who could blame them? it’s hard to resist a man who looks like he didn’t sleep in thousand years.

looking back on this, some of your friends were confused when you showed them picture of pablo since he doesn’t have any dark circles. other than watching american horror story,you also loved to read stephen king. you upgraded on him after you read everything that r.l. stine published.

horror is designed to make one afraid because it is advantageous to our survival. the main reason all of you wanted to visit this theme park it is because one of scary houses was based from murder house in american horror story. who could resist experiencing that fear first hand? certainly not you. if you only knew how real horrifying that night is gonna get,you would never go anywhere near that cursed place.

one of your friends was nowhere to be seen. none of you wanted to admit it, but you started to panic. luckily, your instincts were telling you something went terribly wrong here because she wasn’t really type to scare anyone. you were looking everywhere and asking people did they see her.

and then it happened.

someone was walking towards her near exit and grabbed her hand. no running,no drama.

and then she tapped you on shoulder. turns out she was waiting on her revenge to scare you. it was a relief she was safe, but you couldn’t see horrors the way you used to before. you stopped watching them completely and for some reason you couldn’t go to sleep without checking is everything locked multiple times.

old habits die hard and to this day you still did this every night,without exception. pablo didn’t see it as anything unusual because he had no clue about the backstory. one night two of you decided to watch something on netflix. both of you are always so indecisive when it comes to choosing a movie,so you decided to use “suprise me” feature. it was safe to say that this wasn’t maybe the best idea. watching the shining on stormy night? not really what you had in mind,but you didn’t wanna say anything because there was certain advantages. shamelessly snuggling to him? perfect. pretending you fell asleep so he can carry you to bed? sounds like you have a plan b.

you couldn’t help but smile when you saw him frowning while he pressed play. he always asked so many questions while watching and it was very annoying to everyone around him,but you didn’t mind it.

“why would they agree to be in the middle of nowhere? someone will kill them,this is so predictable. is that what happens at the end?”

“just watch and you will understand.”

“can i ask you in case i don’t understand?”

“of course. you would ask anyway”,you said jokingly hoping he keeps asking to keep you distracted from the fact you are watching a horror after so many years.

to your suprise,he didn’t ask that many questions as he usually does. is this really that one time he decides to be quiet,you thought to yourself.

luckily for you,his silence didn’t last long.

“what does REDRUM means?”

“it’s murder backwards.”

“wait,from where did that bruise came from? did his dad really hit him? why are we watching this again?”

“it wasn’t his dad his time,but he did break his arm while trying to discipline him. if you are scared we can just turn it off and go to bed.”

“no,i’m not scared but i think you are and this is how you are trying to lure me in.”

you had no intention of turning to plan b,but maybe it was time. even though he said this jokingly,this was your chance to escape.

“i think i’m going to bed,but you are free to continue watching this- i’m not luring you.”

“wait are you angry at me or something? what’s wrong?”

you continued to walk to your room,pretending you didn’t hear him. it felt so wrong because after all,he never ignored you. and who likes to be ignored? you were hoping he is not gonna think too much of it and assume you just didn’t hear him.

you should’ve known him better by now because is so attentive about you. of course he is gonna come to you. that is pablo you fell in love with.

“what’s wrong,did i say something?”

“no,you didn’t- i just wanted to go to sleep.”

“you can’t fool me. i know that look and obviously something happened,but for the life of me i can’t figure out what is it.”

“i promise you,it’s nothing. could you come here and play with my hair?”

“anything for you princesa.”

part of you wanted to finally tell him this and the other part of you didn’t want to disturb this peaceful silence while he was pushing your hair behind ear. you closed your eyes,hoping this is how you are gonna fall asleep.

“aha! i think i know what it is. it’s because you were annoyed with how much i’m talking during the movie. i’m so sorry-“

“you are annoying,but i love every second of it.”

“so it’s not that? then i really don’t know what it is,can you please tell me? you already know i will annoy you until you give up and tell me.”

“in that case,i have to accept defeat. i don’t wanna tell you because it’s a bit embarrassing and honestly,i don’t think i’ve told this to anyone.”

“i won’t pressure if you don’t want to say it but whenever you are ready,i’m here to listen. trust has to be earned and i don’t expect you to tell me everything,but i hope you know you and your secrets are safe with me.”

“of course i trust you,please don’t even think it’s about that at all. you already did more than enough to earn my trust and love. it’s just hard to talk about this,even though it’s always in the back of my mind,somehow i don’t think about it that often as i used to.”

despite popular belief,he can be calm,composed and a good listener. he was all ears and nodded,encouraging you to continue. there is no easy way to say this,other than to rip off the band-aid.

“you were right- i was luring you to go to bed. it’s because i didn’t want to watch horror,since i didn’t watch any horror in years.”

“that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. why didn’t you just say you don’t want to watch it?”

“to be fair,you did a decent job of distracting me with questions. i thought i’m over it,but it turns out i’m not really. these movies just remind me of that period when someone almost kidnapped one of my friends.”

“oh… i didn’t expect that. how did that even happen?”

“it happened on halloween when we went to a theme park. mainly because of a haunted house that was like one from american horror story. all of a sudden she was nowhere to be seen and we thought she isn’t type to scare anyone- that was more my style. then i saw someone identical to her near the exit. someone grabbed her hand and walked out with her and grabbed her hand. it looked completely normal. no running,no drama. turns out that wasn’t her,she was just waiting on her turn to scare me.

“i can’t even imagine how scary that must’ve been. luckily it wasn’t her and all of you are okay.”

“yeah,but it made me think how many people get kidnapped and no one suspects a thing. you never know what’s happening around you for sure. and it didn’t help that at that time i was reading and watching horrors.”

“i would never connect you to horrors honestly,it could be because you are a complete opposite- a dream.”

“cliché. but i love it.”

“and i love you.”

“i love you too. now if you wanna play fair,you have to tell me one secret.”

“okay,but you have to promise you won’t laugh.”

“i will try.”

“i used to be terrified of the gremlins and i thought they will come to my room after midnight.”

“that’s reasonable,even i hated them. “

“no way,you are fearless. you are just saying it so we can be afraid together.”

“no,i’m serious! and besides,there is no such thing as being afraid when i’m with you.”

“so you won’t check are doors locked million times anymore?”

“i will try not to,but you know how they say: old habits die hard.”

“now it makes sense why you do that,i didn’t come off as unusual because i didn’t know the backstory.”

“now you know.”

“and now you know there is nothing you should be embarrassed or afraid to tell me. even if you want me to check are there any gremlins under bed. “

“deal.”

“i love when we have these late night talks,but i can see you are on the verge of falling asleep. buenas noches,te amo princesa. “