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Kindergarten-level math research papers:

Field: Combinatorial Number Theory

Journal: Communications in Addition and Subtraction

Title: A Lower Bound on the Largest Natural number

Abbreviated Abstract: We prove a lower bound on the largest number. The proof proceeds in two steps: we begin with 1, and proceed by induction as until we lose count. We then add that number to itself. The main advance in the first step is to get a big number, and the second step notably avoids using multiplication (they don't teach that until 3rd grade).

Field: Topological Geometry

Journal: Advances in Nonlines

Title: The Four-Color Scribbles

Abbreviated Abstract: In this work we show a zoo of examples of nonlines (curves) with the unique property that they are either red, blue, orange, or purple, or some combination therein. The key idea is to use less colors rather than more, creating a clear and easy to follow proof. This provides a clear basis for simplifications to further work, such as scribbling with 5 colors.

Field: Playground Analysis

Journal: Slide Dynamics

Title: Sufficient Conditions to Yell Weeeeeee on Spiral Slides

Abbreviated Abstract: We identify sufficient conditions for a slide to cause joy. We identify a notion of a "fun slide," and prove that fun slides are a sufficient condition to make someone go Weeeee on a slide. We then verify a spiral slide is a fun slide, and provide numerous examples and non-examples (notably, a ramp is really not fun to slide down).

Return of Parkciv text posts! (With bonus memes)

I am not fucking immune to seeing my blorbos in my everything. I never create these with the intention of them being Seawatt-centric it just... happens

You can find the first one I made here

Scheduling Update: we're pushing the 2-part Game Changer season finale to allow for more time in the edit. It's one of the most complicated episodes we've ever done (you'll see why). Part 1 will now launch on Dropout on June 3rd, and Part 2 on June 17th. We apologize for the delay, but we promise it will be worth the wait.

99% of "mysterious disappearances" esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it's pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it's not any less tragic, it's just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. "people just go crazy sometimes" is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.

just had a convo with my friend. she mentioned she doesnt like sake cause its sparkling.

“wait, sake is sparkling? what have i been drinking?” i said. because i also dont like sparkling stuff.

i look at the sake bottle ive been drinking from for fun events for the past year. its vinegar.

i’ve been drinking strawberry flavored vinegar.

When I was a (unmedicated, undiagnosed ADHD) kid, like, under 12, my room was a mess all the time. Not shocking.

I struggled keeping it clean.

I struggled getting it clean.

I would sincerely put in quite a bit of effort and be really proud of the progress I made. Then one of my parents would come check and see how I was doing.

"Well, you've still got a long way to go."

That sentence. I was like, 11 when my parents were saying that to me. It was crushing. All my pride and satisfaction with my work was completely gone. All my effort was worthless to them. All they saw what everything I didn't do.

At the age of ELEVEN, I knew that wasn't right. That wasn't fair. I swore to myself I would never invalidate someone's work like that.

Now, at 30, I catch myself thinking 'I cleaned up, but my apartment is still so messy.' and I flashback to standing in my bedroom as a child, hearing those fucking words from my parents.

'No. I wouldn't invalidate someone else's work. I'm not going to invalidate my own. I did good. I made progress.' and I'll list the things that I DID get done to myself.

You deserve credit for all the progress you make.

You deserve credit for all the work you do.

It doesn't matter how much work you have left.

What you accomplish, no matter how small, counts. Even when what you accomplished was taking a day to rest and recharge and give yourself a break.

Never let anyone invalidate your work. Not even you.

i used to do this thing when people would angrily disagree with me in a forum thread where i would immediately pretend to launch a text-based rpg called TOWER OF THE WIZARD and provide them with settings and scenarios and prompt action inputs from them and for some reason they would start playing it every time

I love breaking this post even more.