Fantasy Stories Should Have More “what Do You Mean You Don’t Do X” Things In Compare And Contrast

i feel like if someone addressed Billy Batson as William he'd be like 'who the fuck are you talking to'

Long ago, the grand empires of atlantis, lemuria, and mu ruled much of this world.However, humanity has forgotten the truth about these ancient beings. They where not native to this world. They did not sink into the sea, but simply traveled back to their home universe. Now, they have returned to see how the primitive human species has fared since they left.

Shazams got some strange villains

Shazam: Not that I want more villains in the world but damn I wish some of mine would just, I don’t know, rob a bank or have a silly gimmick or something! Like geez. 

Shazam: All of my villains want me dead or dissected! Just once I would like to stop a guy in a colourful costume with an silly name from stealing an artifact related to their gimmick.

The justice league: …………………

Shazam: And banter! I would kill to have some playful banter with my villains but none of them understand my references! They’re all either demons, aliens, old as balls or all three!! IT SUCKS!

The Justice League:……………….

Shazam: THEY THINK VINE IS JUST A PLANT!!!!!

Superman: Wait wait wait, what’s vine if not a plant???

Shazam: I didn’t even do anything to them they just hate me just because I exist or because of my proximity to the guy who gave me powers! I had no control over that!!

Shazam: If I got a list of terms and conditions that said accepting may result in literal demons that want to eat me and the guy who had the job first doing his best to see my head separated from my shoulders I might have reconsidered!!

Flash: Wait really???

Shazam: eh probably not, I can eat bullets now its pretty sick.

Shazam: Even if there were a list of terms and conditions I wouldn’t have read it lmao.

Batman: …Captain, did you not get a choice in your powers?

Zatanna: Hold on did you say demons are trying to EAT YOU?!?!?!

I can’t articulate this properly right now but Wes gets an internship at the Daily Planet over the summer. Which goes great until Superman shows up with lame glasses and says he’ll be showing Wes around.

And Wes is really confused because literal Superman (who told Wes to call him Clark??) is giving him a tour of the Daily Planet and everyone is treating him normally and Wes knew the people of Amity were idiots for not noticing Phantom was Fenton but This Is The Daily Planet. These people are investigative journalists! Super-Clark just reheated his coffee with his eyes while shittily hiding behind a newspaper! They’re supposed to be better than this!

Ok proper AU idea/thoughts on my idea of Danny being a reborn version of Pariah and Clockworks kid. (Link here)

No one knows that Danny is a reborn version of their kid (At least except the Observants who don’t want to tell anyone and were freaking the fuck out with TUE thing because OH this kid’s gonna be Pariah 2.0 AND WE DON’T HAVE ANOTHER SARCOPHAGUS! FUCKKK!GET CLOCKWORK TO CONTROL HIS KID) Clockwork and Pariah’s kid was young when they got killed/died and so they had no idea what he’d look like.

Clockwork is fond of Danny doesn’t know exactly why…maybe because he reminds him or a younger Pariah, but he’s protective over him. Pariah of course had zero idea with everything.

It’s actually due to Vlad that everyone finds out. Vlad finds out that ghosts and their children have bonds and he goes ‘ah well if I cause Daniel’s core to activate it will bond with me as only other half ghost’ and so finds a way to activate Danny’s core…only it doesn’t link to him, it links to Clockwork who drops his staff and is suddenly realising everything that his kid is alive… and it links to a closed Sarcophagus that suddenly starts shaking.

Danny’s not sure what Vlad was trying to do but guess he failed he doesn’t feel anything really…

He has no idea that the ghost zone is in chaos…and the Observants are trying to run away to a different plan of existence before anyone figures out they knew.

Sometimes we need fantasy to survive the reality.

- The minds journal

Oh what this?? Another dp x dc idea?? U bet!!!!

So anyway, Danny gets forced to go to a gala with Vlad and is not happy about it. The whole night he is just dragged around by Vlad talking to person after person and he’s sick of it.

It isn’t until late in the night when the gala is almost over that he sees an opportunity to slip away and takes it. He doesn’t get very far out the door however when a hand lands on his shoulder and turns him towards a group of people in front of a car. At first he freaks until he sees who’s guiding him to the others. BRUCE WAYNE!! GOTHAMS FAVOURITE HIMBO WITH TO MANY CHILDREN TO KEEP TRACK!!!

Seeing this as the opportunity that this was he shut his mouth and let Bruce herd him into his gaggle of orphans, who took one look at him and went- let’s see how long it takes Bruce to notice.

A long time it seems. It’s now the next day and Bruce still hasn’t noticed the extra person at the dinner table. 

Beauty of Croatia. I'll have to visit again someday. 😘

My Dad is from Mars

Okay so when j’onn met danny he was John jones. He was doing some grocery shopping when a young teen with a limp bumped into him, stealing his wallet.

John grabbed the teens arm to stop him and retrieve his wallet when his hand went through through the boys arm. John saw the scared look on the child as he took off, John pursued the child running through walls and watched in concern as the child appeared to be a Martian like himself. He stopped an alley where he witnessed the teen fall to the ground and simply vanish.

John then said how he was impressed at his camouflage skill considering how young he is and that he has no intention of hurting him he just wants to help him get home to which the child was NOT HAPPY screaming how he can’t go back there he won’t. The child is barely able to stand when his camouflage drops, j’onn sees the green and red blood coating his shirt where his jacket opens.

He looks to make sure no one is looking before shifting back into his Martian form and kneeling in front of the child. In the Martian language he tells the boy that he is only here to help if he will let him

He replies in perfect Martian you’re not a hunter, j’onn freezes at the knowledge that a Martian child is being hunted and is filled with icy rage. He calmly replies that no he’s not he’s a friend. The child reaches for him before fully passing out. J’onn takes him back to his apartment where he tends to his wounds. He is further infuriated when he sees the y shaped incision on his chest. He vows that this child is under his protection.

However not everything is as it seemed. When Danny woke up he was in a bed and his wounds had been dressed. It hurt to move but much less so than before. When he heard movement he panicked until he turned and saw the coolest superhero to ever live

MARTIAN MANHUNTER who just so happens to be anACTUAL martian from MARS. Danny just stare at him in awe. He can barely speak and the hero brings him some water and begins to softly ask how he came to be so far from mars and at such a young age and Danny just stares at him for a second before he just says I’m from earth, I’m human- kinda

J’onn is clearly confused. And asks if he’s a meta when Danny says no, he asks if he would be willing to explain Danny made him swear not to tell anyone, because how could he say no to Martian manhunter. He explains that he’s half ghost and how his parents were ghost hunters and when they found out he was a ghost they turned on him. They took him to the GIW where they… and at this point he cuts himself off with a terrified look on his face. J’onn places a hand on his shoulder and tells him he is safe here for however long he wishes to stay. Danny doesn’t believe him at first until he explains that when he came to earth he was also hunted for being different.

Danny is incredibly grateful and accepts the offer with the intention of leaving as soon as he is healed . A month goes by and Danny is healed he is hesitant to leave. One month turns to two and two to three and before they knew it they were moving into a bigger apartment so Danny could have his own room when J’onn asked Danny if he would like to be his son Danny nearly cried as he said yes (Bruce took care of the paperwork, he knows it like the back of his hand) not long after though Danny got sick and it wasn’t until j’onn was visited by a ghost with a clock in his chest that they realized it was because his core was sick and so they both travel to the ghost zone where J’onn learns more about ghosts as well as learning that he is apparently a grandfather, that was fun. Danny also found out he was going to be king that was less fun

They set up a schedule of days Danny would spend in the zone with clockwork learning about ghost politics and when he was on earth he would be homeschooled by J’onn, Danny’s favorite part is when J’onn would talk about mars and traveling amoung the stars.

It’s just before his 15th birthday that J’onn announces that they were going to visit mars Danny almost exploded he was so excited the whole flight there and when he arrived he met his half white martian cousins M’gann and him got along like a house on fire. He was sad when they had to leave and there were many promises to visit. Unbeknownst to them they had a stowaway on the ship. Both Danny and J’onn scolded m’gonn fpr running away from home but he was still happy to have his cousin on earth. She trained with her uncle to be a hero she often questioned Danny about why he didn’t want to train as well, because after 1 unwanted advance from a human when he was near and it was clear he could fight. He would always make a joke out of it and dodge the question. Eventually she stopped asking.

One thing that was made abundantly clear after moving in was the fact that her cousin is terrifying. Absolutely bone chilling and not always on purpose sometimes he was just so …. Still, quiet, unnerving. She started getting used to it and her uncle is immune at this point but she will never fully be immune. And there was one indisputable rule she was not allowed to use telepathy on Danny no matter what.

When M’gann joins her team she texts Danny about them all the time, he is well aware of her crush on Conner and he feels secure in the knowledge he could crush him if he hurt her. she doesn’t really talk about Danny much because he’s pretty private.

The first time the team meets Danny it is a call to arms sent by M’gann. On the night of the Halloween party. M’gann decided to call in back up to help them get back at the kid who was trying to prank everyone as well as give everyone a good scare. Danny arrives though no one actually saw him arrive but he most definitely made an impact. Years later the school would be call it the best scare of the century.

When they head back to the base they find Danny already there he runs picks M’gann up and spins around and gives her a hug and just as she is about to introduce him the zeta tube activates announcing Martian Manhunter, he asks if anyone would like to explain why there was an emergency call from a student from their school reporting that the dead have risen and are coming to take their bloody revenge? Danny,who had hidden behind Conner peaked out and says yeah sorry about that, that was me. J’onn gives him a look and Danny shoots back c’mon dad it was all in good fun, no one was hurt, and the kid was only SLIGHTLY traumatized. J’onn is not amused. M’gann is trying to hide her laugh Conner is relieved that he’s not a rival and Wally, well Wally was in shock because when did the Martian manhunter get a son?!?

Okay I feel like this is a good stopping point for now cus I need sleep, I’m gonna add more later,

Flash is next and then it’s a vote between Wonder Woman or superman

I’m not sure if I’m gonna do green lantern or the hawks cus I don’t know that much about them