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I have been told a few times (well, so many times really) that I have a kind of "blunt affect" face. It's just my face gdmit! Why do people think it's a problem?

MBTI and heartbreak~

(If this does not apply to you, I do apologize. These are purely from my own impressions and experiences.)

ISTJ: When ISTJs go through a heartbreak, they are like zombies. Blank faces with a lot of stormy emotions underneath that they have no idea what to do about. They will often feel loneliness and won’t hop on to another relationship easily.

ISFJ: During a bad time, ISFJs will become incredibly moody and unreasonable. Anything can set them off and trigger their tempers and outbursts as well as plenty of self-pity. They will get over it quickly and are quick to make up to people whom they’ve wronged, but the cycle quickly repeats itself. 

INFJ: It takes INFJs a long time to get over a heartbreak. There will be plenty of thinking as well as weeping. Eventually, they will fast learn that whatever is done is done and they cannot change the past. Soon enough, they have gotten over everything as if it never happened and will smile again. 

INTJ: After heartbreak, it is as if all the emotions they had kept so well-hidden had finally snapped. They cannot comprehend this despairing feeling as well as confused as to how these feelings can be so erratic and chaotic inside their calm disposition. After this passes, their days will be numb and zombie-like.

ISTP: They will hurt and hurt a lot and they have a special way of showing it: biting sarcasm and cynicism. It still hurts though. 

ISFP: They will cry and vent to friends and families. After that, they either go into emotional withdrawal or move on rather fast. 

INTP: Don’t worry, they’re fine…No. They are not. But after a long time of brooding, frustrations and contemplation, they will come to terms with the situation and move on with their lives. 

ESTP: Heartbreak is not such a bad thing for this social butterfly. They simply think of it as an experience to be learned but every so and then, they will have thoughts back on it and feel a strange sense of melancholy and nostalgia.

ESFP: What? Heartbreak? Impossible. -broken and tearful laughters-

ENFP: ENFPs will be rather overdramatic and vocal during heartbreak about their wounds and hurts. They will demonstrate to their peers about how broken they are with negativity and drinking may be involved. However, these are one of the few types that are able to get over their heartbreak the fastest because of the constantly active Fi and its fickleness. 

ENTP: They will vent and cry it all out. But once it’s done for an ENTP, it is absolutely done and they are ready to go out with the world again.

ESTJ: Silence. It is hard to tell what the ESTJs are thinking during horrible times as they like to keep every single complaints and sadness to themselves. They look nonchalant and indifferent from the distance, but upon closer inspection, you can tell they have never forgotten and possibly haven’t gotten over the heartbreak. 

ESFJ: ESFJs during heartbreak will try to heal themselves by ranting and complaining to other people showing them how it’s not them whose heart is broken, but the person who broke their heart. They will try to come off cool as if they are not bothered by anything, but their gossips and rants naturally give everything away.

ENFJ: This is a really sad and unbelievable time for them. ENFJs will constantly question why things went wrong and why was it not fixable. They will probably shed a few tears over this honestly. After that, they start blaming themselves for wrongdoings that they probably didn’t even do.

ENTJ: On the outside, they look completely controlled, self-possessed and utterly impeccable as if they have no care for other people’s miserable souls. On the inside, it feels as if they had been stabbed a thousand times. They do not move on as fast as they like to think they do.

INFP: Contrary to popular belief, INFPs move on the fastest. Because they are so full of internal feelings, by the time of actual heartbreak, they have already used up all of their energy and now there is nothing left but absolute apathy and smiles as they easily move on and leave your sorry ass behind.

You might be an NTJ if ...

NTJ refers to ENTJs and INTJs.

You do a cost-benefit analysis on nearly every aspect of your life

You admire people who check you, challenge you, and call you on your shit

You often feel you should have your boss’ or coworker’s job and salary because you’re smarter and more competent

People view you as an overachiever, but you see yourself as an underachiever with still so much more to do

Your introverted friends have summoned you for assistance as their representative, lawyer, or gladiator

You know an idea is stupid and won’t work before everyone else and you’re waiting for them to catch up and realize this too

You have high expectations of other people and often want more for their lives than they want for themselves

You spend half a debate/discussion/conversation conveying your ideas and the other half convincing the other person you weren’t angry this entire time

Small talk is excruciating

The gifts you love the most are the ones you can really use

“Always been able to keep myself distant… Divorced myself from… feelings… but look, you see? Body’s betraying me. Interesting, yes? Emotions.”

( ͡°‿ʖ ͡°)

I almost cried when Sherlock is about to shoot Mycroft. Almost

AWKWARD INTJ’S THOUGHTS #2

As we all have already established, INTJs work differently than other people. We are cold, rational and analytical. We are brutally honest, dislike humankind and don’t care about other’s opinions. We don’t like any involvement, feelings, or emotions. But despite that, we are all only weak, fragile humans. And even we have some fears, or face adversities. Don’t try to deny it. Everyone is afraid of something. Voldemort was afraid of dying, the Joker was afraid of being considered as a common clown, Sauron was afraid of the Ring being destroyed, Sherlock was afraid of John leaving him, Moriarty was… Well, I’m quite sure he was afraid of something, too. Sherlock has only three seasons, I’m slowly dying waiting for fourth, shut up. You know I’m right.

We all fear something or have to overcome adversity. Everyone experiences those in their own, specific way, but as always, INTJs’ way is the most specific. Let me explain it on me.

Five months ago I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. I started treatment, psychotherapy and other stuff that was supposed to help me. Today I made a decision. As I am terrified of using public transport and generally being in public, I decided that would be a big step for me to take a tram and just go, even if it was supposed to be five minutes ride. I did as I said. When I got out of the tram, I was expecting to feel something. Happiness. Relief. Pride. I didn’t feel any of those. I started my walk back home with my mind being completely blank. Until I got home. Then I felt it. I felt this overwhelming anger.

I was so angry at myself that I was so weak before. That I let myself be weak. That I let myself feel weak. That I let myself act weak. Because that, THAT, is the biggest humiliation for INTJ. To show feelings, to show fear and let the fear take control. Of course, fear is rational in certain situations. But most of the times, it’s not. And we don’t like irrational things. And we don’t like to feel out of the control. Oh, no, we really don’t like it.

We must remain strong, to feel confident. INTJs are those cold, silent, untouched people looking at everyone with their analytical gazes. And feeling anything, especially fear is a humiliation for us. You may say, that fearing something is human. You’re right. And INTJs are human, even if most of times we seem INhuman. But we see and feel and act and react differently. In our own, specific way. And showing weakness, let alone asking for help, is the last thing we’d do. The same applies to adversities. We don’t want your help. Even if we’re falling, we don’t want you catch us. We want you to leave us alone, so we can do it on our own. That’s what how we are.

Cold. Rational. Analytical. Untouched. And strong. Oh god, unbelievably strong.  

Contributor

Two major types of INTJ

One of the most interesting things I read in relation to personality theory was Cognitive Styles. It is completely separate personality profiling system, but it can be used in conjunction with MBTI. And when you combine the two, you find out that there are two major types of INTJs

The ones that don’t wear a ‘social mask’ (perceiver INTJs)

The ones that do wear a social mask (contributor INTJs)

There are other variations, but these are the most common. Out of the two, the perceiver INTJ’s are the most common. Contributor INTJ’s (I am one of these) often feel out-of-step within the community, because they are always wearing some form of public mask, and always playing the social game, whereas their INTJ perceiver peers denounce such things.

Perceiver INTJs

Hate social games, and usual rebel when possible and do their best to not comply.

They don’t respect authority at all unless its proven itself, and even then, they are forever skeptical.

They have a strong moral compass, and they follow it. They have a very, very strong sense of justice. Pretending to be someone else, i.e. wearing the “social mask” feels dirty, because it is deceptive and not who they really are.

While most like things, they are less concerned with material matters.

They do not care what society thinks of them.

Contributor INTJs

Contributor INTJ’s do care about what society thinks of them. They wear lots of social masks, and they usually wear them well. They play the social game, and they usually do this without being bitter about it (even if it makes them tired).

They key to understand why they do this, is that they are inherently pragmatic. Socializing is often not natural for them but they learn the skills because it pragmatically assists them in achieving their abstract goals. They don’t have an inherent drive to be liked for the sake of being liked, but they want to achieve their goals.

They care more about possessions because things help them get other things; contributor INTJ’s do well in sales and business.

Respect authority more because they take-on social roles when it is necessary.

Because they are incredibly goal-based, their morals tend to be weaker. They are more likely to blur the lines. They will do things to get ahead. Unlike the perceiver INTJ who doesn’t like to lie about who they are (even if it means achieving their goals will be harder), the contributor will “wear the mask”.

  Which type are you?

love the expression of the cat

Rate my squad: INTJ, ESFP x 3

MBTI Flavored Advice

One of the main downsides of typing is that many people, once they read about their type, stop developing upwards. They use their type to excuse bad behavior. Don’t take the stereotype that INTJs are often sarcastic or blunt as a reason to freely make mean comments, or put people down. It’s important to remember to always stay on the up-and-up, keep improving yourself, recognize and work on your flaws, regardless of whatever negative trait your type is listed to naturally have. Take the best qualities of every type and work hard to meet them to become the best version of yourself you can be. So, this advice is for everyone.

ESTP: Exercise until you sweat out the bad feelings. Run until there’s no negativity left in you, and channel frustration into sports. It’s cathartic.

ISFJ: Go out of your way to remember the little things. Remember more birthdays, more favorite foods, more little details about people that they would expect you to forget. Put the effort in.

ISTJ: Write things down. Write things down even when you think you’ll remember. Get a little notebook, get a pack of different color highlighters, and make a list. Prioritize. Keep it tidy.

ESTJ: Set goals, but make them actionable. Make a step-by-step plan, then actually follow through. Determination and discipline is key.

ISTP: Depend on people less. Know that you are an entire person by yourself, and you have all the tools you need to get the job done. Talk less, think more, listen to music, work with your hands, stay mysterious.

INTP: Stay inquisitve. Approach everything with keen eyes and an open mind, and never take things at face value. Everything’s a puzzle, and you want to leave with the biggest knowledge base you can get. Absorb everything.

ENTP: Try everything once. Approach life like a game, and you’ve only got a short time to play, have the best time you can, before it ends too soon. Don’t take anything too seriously, don’t let anything weigh too heavily on you. When bad things happen, and they always do, sometimes the best thing you can do is shrug and say, “Fuck that.” and move on.

ENFP: Don’t be ashamed of enthusiasm. Don’t let negative people make you feel like you’re being silly or childish for liking the things you like. Be as radiant and as energetic as you are, love things unabashedly, and never water yourself down to please wet-blanket people who don’t matter at all.

INFP: Stay soft. A tender heart is the most underappreciated and wonderful quality you can have, and don’t buy into people who think it’s cool to be emotionally detatched and cold. Feel things completely and intensely, cry when you have to, and know that it’ll never make you weak. Protect yourself, but don’t shut people out.

INFJ: Be objective. Approach problems from all perspectives, and always look for the bigger picture. Don’t get caught on pettiness, don’t let others get caught on pettiness. Help people where you can, offer insight where you can, and ultimately let things go.

ISFP: Be present. Notice the small things. You only live in this exact moment right now, so take a second here and there to stop and look around. Find comfort and beauty in how warm your mug is in your hand, how nice the light looks on your friend’s face, and how lucky you are to exist in peace at this very point in time.

ESFP: Friends are the most valuable commodity you can have. Befriend everyone. Build your network. Nobody thinks you’re lame. Let people be drawn to the energy you give out. Embrace the spotlight when it comes around, but don’t push people aside to get in it.

INTJ: Stay cerebral. Your mind is your most important tool, and it’s awesome. Take it out for a spin as often as you can. Seek intellectual challenges, embrace chances to prove yourself, don’t dumb yourself down to accomodate other. If you know a billion facts about sharks, and it happens to be Shark Trivia Night at this restaurant you’re at with your friends, don’t turn it down for fear of seeming weird. Get your shark on, but remember: there’s a fine line between pride and arrogance. Stay on the right side of it.

ENTJ: Don’t be afraid of your own potential. Know you’re smart enough, strong enough, tough enough to attain absolutely any goal. Ambition is not a bad thing to have. Embrace your ambition, and do what it takes to get where you need to be.

ESFJ: Don’t underestimate the value of people. It’s tempting to cut yourself off from the world because it’s comfortable there, but teach yourself that when you extend a hand to others, you’ll get many hands back when you yourself need help. Remain socially conscious, remain respectful, and remember that “what goes around, comes around” applies to both cruelty, and kindness.

ENFJ: Balance working smart with working hard. Don’t treat other people like tools, but don’t let other people walk over you. Find the midpoint in everything, and build your house there. Be diligent, but don’t be obsessive. Be friendly, but don’t be passive. Get what you deserve.

There’s probably a German compound word for that feeling you get at 2am when you’re single in your mid twenties and the creeping doubt that you’ve somehow missed your only chance at love because you didn’t meet someone in college and now it’s too late