*rots Cutely*

Moriarty the Patriot beach headcannons

(reminder; this isn't a writing blog)

Albert

Albert absolutely hates sand and seaweed with a passion. It just gets everywhere, it's sticky and irritating. He will be frustrated about it, but won't complain.

He lies in a beach chair, underneath the cool shade of a tree, perhaps drinking some beverage, reading a book or simply enjoying the view.

He's not much of a swimmer, I believe he wouldn't swim at all or just for a little while with his brothers.

Won't let his hair get damaged if possible (I mean it sure takes a lot of effort to style them so perfectly)

Wine.

William (aka my hubby)

He doesn't mind sand or seaweed.

He's not a big swimmer either, but would enjoy a swim with his friends and family.

I can see him reading a book beside Albert, most likely a mathematics related book or a newspaper, drinking his favourite chamomile tea (yes he 100% drinks tea on the beach)

Puts a ton of sunscreen or else he will turn into a tomato.

William is a teacher by nature. He will educate children playing around on sea- related subjects, such as buoyancy or sea life (and probably maths, yeah).

Gives the best advice on how to built the perfect sandcastle and children love him for that.

Louis

Saying that he has packed lunch for everyone would be an understatement.

Somehow he managed to bring with him a kettle and full tea set for his brothers, biscuits, pastries (he made himself obviously) and a literal meal, silverware and plates included. (Jack is so proud)

Most of the time he stays by William's side, quietly enjoying the small vacation whilst attending to him. He states that he's not very fond of swimming and would prefer to stay dry, but in actuality he really wants to.

When William proposes that they go together for a swim the poor boy is so so happy.

Struggles a little with his glasses and gets sunburnt very easily despite bathing in sunscreen.

Moran & Bonde

These two absolute airheads will race one another in EVERYTHING.

Who jumps in the water first, who swims faster, who can hold his breath longer, who can run to the other side of the beach and back faster, and the list goes on.

James comes first at almost everything, which let's just say Moran didn't take very well.

They both flirt with random girls.

Moran will tease Albert for not getting into the water.

They literally annoy the whole beach.

Fred

I think Fred would like to stroll through the beach and collect seashells.

Afterwards he shows his collection to the Moriarty brothers, who give him a small but much deserved applause.

He's an excellent swimmer, and would dive in order to observe the fish and other sea life.

Will throw small pieces of bread in the water for the fish.

He would also do this thing where you just float on the water in a star- shaped position. He enjoys it a lot.

One thing that kinda frustrates me about Shen Jiu fics is that they so often try to sanitize him. Make him nicer/more misunderstood than he actually is.

Like, he was definitely very misunderstood in source material, but he also was straight up a terrible person too, y'know? Both things can be true at once.

The biggest thing is his treatment of Luo Binghe, playing on the idea that it wasn't *as* bad as the characters thought it was. Now, this is just plain wrong cause we know from the extras that SJ gave Binghe the fake cultivation manual with the intent that it would literally explode him. He really wanted to murder that kid, yall. Loony toonz ass villain. Keep this man away from children

And he was definitely a total asshole to all his coworkers, even during disciple days. The other Peak Lords are under no expectation to like him nor tolerate his behavior, especially since they (except Yue Qingyuan) don't know about his backstory (very intentional on SJs part)! SJ very deliberately ostracized himself. His nasty reputation didn't just spring up out of nowhere. He has agency even in other people's opinions of him.

This is particularly notable in his interactions with Liu Qingge. It wasn't "LQG bullies poor SJ and spreads nasty rumors about him." It was a rivalry, a give and take between the both of them. They were both assholes to each other, but clearly, despite the animosity, there was some deeper feeling (SJ being so affected after LQG's murder accusations and then later death). Again, agency is key here.

He's also completely unrepentant until the very end! He will never apologize ever, so no sudden "oh god, what have I done?" heel-turns for him, buddy. If it was that easy, then he wouldn't have gotten human sticked in the first place.

SJ is tragic and sympathetic. SJ is also an awful person and a complete asshole. He's allowed to be both, and both of these sides of him are what makes him an interesting and engaging character.

Edit: holy shit stop interacting with this post everytime I open my notifications I think I’m getting reactions to my more recent shit and instead it’s just this bs. Anyways thanks for 1k notes

YQY: Qi-ge failed his Xiao Jiu... 😞😞😞

Ref:

Shen Jiu (I will not degrade myself by explaining what happened) 🤝 Yue Qingyuan (I will not degrade you by explaining what happened)

One’s mindset is “I won’t defend myself since I’m unrepentantly evil anyway” and the other’s is “I won’t make excuses for myself since I failed you anyway”

They are made for each other in the worst way possible. I want to grind their heads together; it will not help one bit, since what they need is top-notch therapy/counselling, but wow the urge haunts me

INSOLENT BRAT.

jambound….

OH MY GOD

Man, if disciple Bunhe had tried to come out to Shen Qingqiu it would've gone so poorly.

SQQ: Binghe really shouldn't spend so much time with this old man! Shouldn't he be off charming some women disciples?

LBH: Shizun, this disciple does not like women.

SQQ: …

SQQ, internally: Oh no, I raised a misogynist.

honestly qijiu are so crazy like wdym the two highest-ranked peak lords of the cultivation world's largest sect are childhood friends, rags to riches, lovers to enemies, "the one that got away" and they HID IT. FROM ALL THE OTHER PEAK LORDS. FOR DECADES. NOT EVEN A SINGLE PERSON KNEW???