AXe’s & O(rgasm)’s (2/?)

undrunk

summary: your friends with benefits situation with bucky takes a turn that could break your heart

pairing: frat!bucky x reader

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit language, consumption of alcohol, implied smut, mention of previous cheating (not bucky), reader may have a slight drinking problem, bad rebounds, one (1) game of spin the bottle, bucky is kind of a dick but also reader is kind of crazy, slightly toxic but it works out in the end, like the tiniest bit of fluff (if you squint). loosely based on undrunk by fletcher

a/n: here she is, the long awaited frat!bucky. i hope this was worth the wait, and everyone enjoys the happy ending i tried to do. if you like this please make sure to reblog and comment - i appreciate every single one!!

main masterlist ─ i no longer have a taglist but you can follow @theafterglowlibrary and turn on notifications for fic updates!

You were woken up by the click of your bedroom closing, and the soft sound of padded feet through your hallway and out the front door. You squeezed your eyes tight, willing the tears not to come as you rolled over and checked the time. 5am. At least he was consistent.

It was stupid - you were stupid - to let this happen again. Bucky had broken your heart enough times that you should know better by now. But you never learn.

You guessed you couldn’t really blame him. He had made it clear to you from the very first night that he wasn’t interested in a relationship. That it would only ever be sex. Of course, when you’re half drunk and desperate for him to just fuck you already, you agree to anything. No one could blame you for a one night mistake.

No, the real pain came from the months after. The 1am texts and the secret touches. Because with those came the silly pictures and the late night talks as he laid in your bed. With it came the desperate want for more. Even when you knew it wasn’t possible.

So you laid in bed, staring at the ceiling as the tears streamed down your face, knowing you had no one to blame but yourself.

-

Despite the ache in your chest, there was one thing you could never say no to: a party. Maybe you should learn to stay away from them, considering that’s how you ended up in Bucky’s bed in the first place, but you just couldn’t; there was nothing like the sweet release of drinking your pain away.

At the very least, you could stay away from Bucky’s frat house. Or that’s what you told yourself.

Somehow, though, you ended up in the basement of the Phi Gamma Delta house, even though you specifically told Wanda not to let you anywhere near Fiji tonight. Not after your conversation with Bucky a few days ago.

Not after he had accidentally stayed the night, and you thought it meant more. Not after you had asked him to go to breakfast and he practically sprinted for the door.

But you hadn’t seen him yet, so that was a plus. There was always a chance he had skipped out on the festivities for the night. Maybe he had gone home to Brooklyn for the weekend, or maybe he was upstairs in his room and you could just -

Your thoughts were cut off by the cheers of the group of people around you, and you turned to see Sam in the middle finishing off a handle of vodka. In your experience, that could only mean one thing.

“Let’s play spin the bottle!” Sam shouted as the last burn of the liquor coursed through him. Having no reason to say no, you made room for yourself in the circle and patiently waited your turn.

Sam gave a dramatic look around the room, before spinning the bottle with a twist of his wrist. Everyone watched as the glass slowed, anxious to see who the first person to kiss the frat president would be tonight. To your surprise, the bottle came to a slow stop on you.

You looked up with slightly panicked eyes. Even in your inebriated state, you could recognize that kissing one of Bucky’s brothers probably wasn’t the greatest idea. But then you remembered the look of absolute terror on his face at the mention of more. And Sam was moving across the circle to you, and Steve - Bucky’s best friend - wasn’t saying anything and so you came to the conclusion that you did with most things: fuck it.

When Sam’s warm lips met yours, you felt… nothing. No spark, nothing beyond acknowledging he was a good kisser. It lasted less than 10 seconds before you were pulling away and spinning the bottle yourself.

Which is how you ended up kissing half the people at the party: Peter - everyone’s favorite pledge, Natasha - your chemistry lab partner, and Scott - who you had never met before but was as funny as he was a good kisser, just to name a few.

The game continued until it dwindled down to a handful of people and you switched to another drinking game. One which you were losing terribly and it showed in your glassy eyes and drunken babble.

The last thing you remembered was the feel of strong hands on your hips, the soft plush of a mattress, and an ache between your thighs.

-

A beam of sunlight burned across your face, enunciating the raging headache you had after going to bed without Advil or an acceptable amount of water. You could have sworn you closed your blinds, but figured you must have opened them up at some point during the day before.

It wasn’t until you reached for the bottle of water you usually kept on your nightstand and grasped air instead that you realized you were, in fact, not in your own bed.

You shot up before groaning at the rush of dizziness to your head. Slowly, you blinked until the room came into focus, and assessed the damage of your night.

You were naked, so that wasn’t a good sign. You remembered sloppy kisses and hushed whispers of are you sure? And at least whoever it was was just as drunk as you were, so there was no harm done in your mind.

That was, until you realized who you had spent your drunken night with.

Broad shoulders gave way to a freckled back and narrow waist. The tuft of blond hair was a mess, like he - or you - had run hands through it, a lot. You knew there was no one else you could be, but when he rolled over, his long lashes fluttering awake, it was confirmed.

“Steve?” you hissed, still in shock. “What the fuck happened?”

At the unmistakable sound of your voice, his eyes snapped open, and he nearly fell to the floor.

“Y/N? Fuck, fuck! Bucky is gonna kill me.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” you scoffed, and you wanted to crush the little bit of hope that creeped into your mind. No, he had made it clear there was nothing more than sex between you. But off course he wouldn’t want his best friend to sleep with the same girl. Bro code or whatever.

God, his best friend. This was worse than Sam, who he’d only known a couple of years. This was his other half since they were practically in the womb. You couldn’t have chosen a worse rebound.

Wanting to forget the mess you had just made of your life, you quickly pulled on your clothes while Steve watched with wary eyes, though he didn’t say anything else about Bucky.

“Are you okay?” You heard Steve’s timid voice as you were about to pull open his door. The motherfucker was such a sweetheart, and you couldn’t handle crying on top of everything else right now.

You were so close to just leaving without a word; that would have been easier on everyone. But damn Steven Rogers, so charming without even trying. You walked back to his bed where he had sat watching you, and gave him a quick kiss. It was a thank you and an apology and a let’s never talk about this again all in one, and he seemed to understand.

Pressing your ear to the door, you made sure no one was in the hall before you slipped out of his room. It would be your luck if Bucky was coming out of his room across the hall at the same moment you were leaving his best friend.

Thankfully, the hall was empty, and you couldn’t hear the usual chatter that came from the frat house, so you figured they must all still be sleeping off their hangovers. You pulled out your phone and ordered an Uber, figuring your best bet was to wait outside on the steps for the few minutes it would take to pick you up. You were so engrossed in your phone you didn’t hear the clatter of plates in the kitchen or the abrupt stop of voices.

When you finally reached the bottom of the stairs, you felt eyes on you, and you looked up to see Bucky staring at you from the kitchen.

You couldn’t have predicted how much it would hurt to see his face, even after only a few days. You also couldn’t have expected the gut-wrenching feeling that came with him cooking breakfast… for someone else.

Not just anyone else, Dot, the beautiful redhead from Chi Omega that you had always been insecure about, even before Bucky.

Flashes of walking in on your ex-boyfriend buried between her thighs had you stumbling back, and Bucky could do nothing but watch as you made your way to the front door. You could even hear the snicker of Dot’s voice just before you slammed the door shut behind you.

-

The great thing about having your own apartment is you could get wine drunk every night of the week and no one was there to judge you for it.

So every night for the next week, you poured yourself a glass before you started on your homework, and were happily tipsy by the time you took a shower and fell into bed. Some may call it a problem, but they weren’t around to know.

You got so used to the feeling that by the time Thursday night rolled around and you had nothing to do but drink, you went a little overboard.

After the first glass you didn’t even bother with any etiquette, instead drinking straight from the bottle until it was empty and you were hungry. You started a pot to boil while you uncorked another bottle, and had half of that down by the time your pasta was ready to be cooked. Trying to maneuver a pot of boiling water proved to be difficult with a bottle of wine in one hand, so you tried to set it down to give yourself room to work, but ended up knocking the handle of the pot, spilling hot water across your arm in the process.

Though it stung, your pride was the thing that took the most damage as you pressed a cold washcloth to your forearm. You slid down to sit on the tiled floor, bringing the bottle with you, and only when you drained the last of the liquid did you allow yourself to feel your emotions.

It started off with silent tears, hurt from the shards of your heart, and gradually your drunken mind spiraled until all you could feel was seething anger at the way Bucky had treated you.

How were you not supposed to catch feelings after Bucky was in your bed practically every weekend?

There were even nights where he came over just to study - although you supposed those always ended in hookups too. But he called you beautiful as he pushed into you, brushing your hair from your face and leaving delicate kisses across your flesh. He made you feel more than any other reoccurring hookup. You couldn’t believe you were the only one who felt the spark that always buzzed beneath the surface of your relationship.

Letting your anger and uninhibited brain fuel you, you grasped for your phone, dialing the number you now knew by heart.

The line rang once, twice, before he picked up, and at first all you could hear was the chatter of other people. He yelled something, muffled by his hand over the speaker, before you heard the sound of a door shutting and he finally spoke.

“Hello? Y/N?” He sounded relatively sober, which did not bode well for you. It was a lot harder to argue with someone when they weren’t as drunk as you were - and that’s exactly what you were looking for.

“James Barnes, you motherfucker.” You tried to sound confident and put together, but the tell-tale of slur coated your words. “You fucking suck, dude.”

“Why are you calling me?” You could hear the agitation in his words, and that made you even angrier.

“To tell you that you’re the fucking worst, James. You need to know that. I need you to know that.”

“God, Y/N, how drunk are you?”

“I’m not -” you hiccupped, giving yourself away even more. “I’m not drunk. You’re drunk.”

“No, I’m not the one that’s wasted on a Thursday night. Jesus.” Surprisingly, you couldn’t hear any judgment in his tone - just disappointment. And maybe that hurt worse. What right did he have to be disappointed in you? You weren’t his anything.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that. Just don’t.” Your voice wavered and you could feel the tears coming again. “How could you?”

A deep sigh, like he knew this was coming. “How could I what?”

“You could have picked anyone but her, anyone but Dot. You know how I feel about her, and you fuck her? It’s like you don’t even care about me.”

“It’s not like that -” You cut him off, not wanting to hear whatever lies he spouted.

“Don’t bullshit me. You even cooked her breakfast. I thought you didn’t do relationships, huh? Or is it just that you don’t do relationships with me?” Finally, the dam cracked and you were sobbing and you heard Bucky sigh again, like you were a nuisance, like he had better things to do.

“Listen, Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re hurt, that you caught feelings, that you thought there was more. But I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want a relationship. More than once.” The truth of the words stung, but he wasn't done yet. No, Bucky had to make sure every piece of your heart was irreparable. “I’m not going to keep explaining myself to you, not when you’re acting crazy like this.”

“At least your best friend doesn’t think I’m crazy. And he was a better fuck anyways.” You were grappling for any way you could hurt him the way he had hurt you but he was a brick wall.

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

Crazy. The word bounced around in your thoughts over and over, even after the call had ended. You stared at the kitchen wall, thinking about where everything had gone wrong. Where you had gone wrong.

Because this was your fault, and that was a hard pill to swallow. Bucky was right, he had been honest with you from the beginning, and you had held onto unfounded hopes.

In that moment all you could wish was to go back in time - to stop from getting drunk that first night. To stop your spitefulness and your anger. To stop from ever falling in love with him.

-

The next morning you woke up, still on the kitchen floor, with a splitting headache and dried tears coating your face.

You thanked the gods you didn’t have a class on Fridays as you stepped into the shower, feeling the ache of last night slowly wash off you. It was after that you decided, staring in the mirror at your sunken cheeks, that you would make a change. You would get your shit together.

You started with an apology to Steve, one he deserved long before now, then took the time to delete the pictures of Bucky from your phone. The ones that were private and you had kept for when you needed something to take the edge off of missing him. The thought filled you with guilt now, as you pressed delete and hoped he had done the same on his end. Then you texted your friends you had neglected the past couple months, the ones who tried to warn you and who had gotten sick of your own self sabotage.

The last thing you did was type out a text to Bucky, apologizing for your behavior, for the way you had treated him, and wishing him well. But you couldn’t bring yourself to send it, so it sat undelivered in your phone until you could finally bring yourself to delete the entire text thread.

You knew you should delete his number too, erase any temptation, but it was just something you couldn’t bring yourself to do.

The urge to text him and explain yourself took a while to go away, especially when you found out that Bucky wasn’t lying about nothing happening with Dot, that she was there because her sorority sister had needed a ride home that morning, and she just so happened to catch Bucky in the kitchen.

You beat yourself up for that one, though you knew it wouldn’t have made a difference. There was never anything more for you and Bucky, regardless of who he did or didn’t sleep with. That was the hardest part to get over.

But you did it.

You stopped going to frat parties, too, deciding that part of your life was over. You threw yourself into your studies and before you knew it, May was approaching and you were just a couple weeks from graduation.

Preparing for one last hoorah with your friends, you met Wanda at your favorite bar downtown - dressed up for the first time in a while, and drinking more than a single glass of wine with dinner since that phone call with Bucky.

Who, speak of the devil, walked in just as you were grabbing a tray of drinks off the bartop. You locked eyes, but quickly hustled back to your table as you saw him attempt to push through the crowd towards you.

You thought he had gotten the hint, because you only saw him in quick glances from across the bar after that, until you made your way to the bathroom, brushing Wanda off when she offered to come with you.

Unfortunately, there was only a single stall that was annoyingly occupied, so you leaned back against the wall and waited.

You were scrolling through Twitter, contemplating going full Maddy from euphoria and banging on the door, when you felt a presence beside you. You knew without looking up exactly who it was.

Slowly, you slipped your phone in your pocket and turned to look up at him.

He was devastating. Just as charming and handsome as you remembered, and it was a struggle for a moment to catch your breath.

“Hi,” he whispered, and you wondered if maybe he was thinking the same thing about you. You could only be so foolish to hope. “I’ve missed you.”

You felt your heart skip a beat, and you wanted to shove the feeling down but suddenly his hands were cupping your face and he was just a breath away.

“I was an idiot, to say the least, and I’m sorry it took a few months of missing you everyday to realize that.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. It felt like a fever dream - awful and amazing all at once. “Could you give me a chance to not be an idiot?”

What you should do was tell him no, that you had moved on, that he didn’t mean anything to you anymore.

But you had always been a terrible liar.

Instead of falling into his arms like you desperately wanted to, like the you of six months ago would have, you pressed a kiss to his cheek - a forgiveness and a dismissal all in one - and walked back to your table.

After exchanging goodbyes with your friends, you sent one last look Bucky’s way before heading home.

-

It had been a few days since you’d heard from Bucky, and it hurt more than you cared to admit.

Although you had wanted to forgive him and move on that night at the bar, a part of you held back. You wanted to make sure it wasn’t a result of him being drunk and lonely. And unfortunately it seemed your suspicions were right.

You’d spent the days since then with your phone always in arm’s reach, hoping he would call, but on the third day of nothing, you had accepted your fate.

Just as you were about to run a bath and block out the world for a little while, there was a knock at your door. Your heart jumped into your throat, but you shoved it back down along with the lingering hope that it would be Bucky on the other side.

Preparing yourself for anything, you swung the door open to the one person you wanted above all else - Bucky Barnes, weighed down with… grocery bags?

“Uh,” you weren’t quite sure what to say, and the sheepish smile on his face was one you had never seen before.

“Can I come in?” He asked, lifting up the bags. “These are pretty heavy.”

Wordlessly, you stepped aside, and he set the bags down on the counter. When you peaked inside them, you were surprised to find an array of breakfast foods. You sent him a questioning look, waiting for some sort of explanation.

“I spent the last few days thinking about how I could prove to you that I was serious. Probably have about 50 unsent texts. After everything, I thought I could start with breakfast. Low stakes, and you don’t have to decide anything right now. Just let me be here with you.”

Although you had decided the moment you saw him on your doorstep, you let him cook you breakfast. You let him open up in ways he never had before. You let yourself fall more in love with him, knowing he was doing the same with you.

if you liked this please consider donating to my ko-fi! 🤍

HE LOOKS SO GOOD HERE

BUCKY BARNES BEING A SNACK™ IN THAT T-SHIRT THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER (2021)

✨Sebastian Stan manspreading appreciation post✨

RIP Matthew Perry

No one else could’ve played Chandler Bing🩵

Navy! Stud knocking on the door to wake up Smartie from the alarm is so cute. What about when they're dating? 😏

I'm glad you think so, nonnie! And Bucky has ways to wake you up.

Sleeping Arrangements

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: You insist on sleeping in your room, but Bucky likes a challenge. Word Count: Over 1.5k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, oral sex (f. receiving), slight dirty talk, slight praise, swearing, implied unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), established relationship, roommate!Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?). A/N: Lovelies, I promise I will actually write how Stud and Smartie get together, but I couldn't pass this up. Partially inspired by a chat with @lookiamtrying (thank you!!!). Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Banners by @vase-of-lilies. and divider by @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Please reblog or comment as it means the world!

It was your idea to keep your separate bedrooms once the two of you started dating. It was a way to maintain boundaries and a small sense of independence since you shared a living space. You didn’t always sleep alone. Some nights he slept in your room and vice versa. It was a good system.

Not that Bucky made it easy. He never did when it involved him wanting you. And you made the mistake of looking back last night as you went toward your bedroom door. You knew better and you did it anyway. All 6’3 of him with his messy hair and beefy frame bathed in the moonlight from the window was staring back at you and pouting. It didn't help that the sexy menace was only in his underwear.

And that your panties were wet just from his gaze.

"My bed is much warmer, Smartie, and I’ll get lonely."

Don’t give in. Admittedly, you always slept a bit better when he was beside you. Even though you were soaked as he slowly sauntered toward you, part of you said to stand your ground with the rules you set. Bucky made it fun to break them, but you would not let your body overrule your will tonight.

“I’m sleeping in my room,” you proudly managed to say, pressing your thighs together as if to silence your weeping pussy. Get it together. “And if you really get lonely, you can wake me up early.”

Bucky hummed as he stopped in front of you, grasping your chin. He smiled as you looked into your eyes and you swore your heart stopped. A second passed before he covered your lips with his, using his other hand to pull you closer by the small of your back. He worked his mouth against yours, spreading desire from your chest down between your thighs. How he managed to always kiss you breathless, you had no idea.

He took his time to pull away, his thumb brushing your trembling lip as he gazed at you. The look of affection in his eyes made you feel cherished and safe. You were proud your legs didn’t give out when he took a step back, his hands dropping to his sides. He spun around without another word and walked toward his door, only stopping when you began to follow him. The smug smirk on his face only turned you on more when he glanced over his shoulder. “Your bedroom is that way. Sweet dreams.”

“I beg your pardon?” was what came out because he wouldn’t really make you sleep alone after that, would he?

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he winked before he went into his room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

You tapped your finger against your thigh, trying to figure out how he turned this around on you. “Well. Fuck,” you said indignantly. You couldn’t be too annoyed with him since you set the rule, but he wasn’t playing fair. I don’t have to either. Smiling, you crept to his door, peeled your underwear off and hung it from the doorknob. Your boyfriend could be a light sleeper and sometimes got up in the middle of the night. So a gift wouldn't hurt.

At least he doesn’t have to steal this pair.

You weren't exactly sure what time it was when you began to wake up, but you knew it was early from the lack of light coming in from the blinds. You hadn't even hit "snooze" on your first alarm. What you did know was that your legs were spread wide on your bed to accommodate the size of your boyfriend, who had already pushed his shirt up around your waist. When you actually wore something to bed, it was always something of his.

And you hadn't bothered to put on a new pair of underwear.

"Was kind of hoping you’d sneak into my room, but I should’ve known better after that stunt I pulled. Was also hoping I’d have my tongue buried in you before you stirred,” Bucky said when you tried to sit up. "Found your little gift, by the way. Could still smell how wet you were.”

“Your fault. You always get me wet,” you argued, blindly reaching for his hair as his breath ghosted over your folds.

“And you always get me hard, so all’s fair, doll,” he said with a drag of his tongue. “Did you have sweet dreams? You must have since you're still wet."

You lost your train of thought for a moment, a soft noise coming out as he brushed his nose against your bundle of nerves. "Yes," you whined as your head tipped back, feeling his grip tighten on your thighs to keep you in place. This is exactly how my dream started and it better end with his cock in me.

“Dream of me?” he asked and you felt him smirk as his mouth wrapped around your clit.

“Fuck, yes!” you shouted impressively considering he just woke you up. Part of you wondered if your neighbors heard you. If he was buried between their thighs, which will never happen, they’d be screaming, too.

“Dreamt about you, too. Woke up aching. I can’t get enough of you,” he groaned as he went back to licking your folds. "Fuck, always so sweet for me. Just lay back and let me keep tasting you."

Tugging a little on his hair in response, you gasped when his metal hand moved under your shirt. Your nipple was taut before he touched it, gently grazing it as he groped your breast. You wished you could see his hot gaze as you arched your back, but you knew you'd see ecstasy in his eyes after he got you off.

His tongue flicked over your clit again as he moaned, like he had all the time in the world to work you over. "You should just sleep in my bed. Let me wake you with my tongue and cock before you start your day. Love tasting you in my mouth before I go to work. Best breakfast I've ever had."

The breathless sounds you made blended together beautifully with his words, that familiar spark felt deep in your core when he suddenly pushed his tongue in deep. "Bucky, there! Please!"

He sighed as pulled out, making you whine. "You know what to call me," he reminded you, the touch of his teeth against your inner thigh making you tremble. "Just say it once."

"Stud, please," you begged. The nickname should've sounded ridiculous like this, but Bucky loved hearing it because you were the one saying it.

“Good girl.”

"Fuck!" you cried when he plunged his tongue back in, licking your walls like he wanted to taste every drop of your essence. The hand that occupied your breast moved to your stomach, keeping you as still as he could. Your legs began to shake as you teetered on the edge of your orgasm before he stopped. "Bucky!"

Your boyfriend simply slipped his tongue out again, the pool of heat in your gut still there. "You're sleeping in my bed tonight," he told you. It wasn't a question.

"Oh, my God! Fine! I will sleep in your bed tonight,” you groaned as he chuckled happily. I might smother him with a pillow. “Just get your tongue back in me before I-"

"I know what you need, Smartie. Let me give it to you."

You almost lost it completely when he did so, adding two fingers. He didn't thrust deep until he knew the stretch wouldn't hurt. How is he still gentle as he devours me? You tried to push your hips closer, needing a little more fiction so you could let go.

"Come for me. Scream my name. Wake the neighbors. I don't give a fuck. Not when you taste this good."

The deep, dark command of his voice as he flicked his tongue once more made the coil finally snap. Your body exploded with your orgasm, screaming and sobbing his name as he worked you through it. Your walls continued to clench as his tongue and fingers slowed, lifting his head to watch. “Fucking beautiful,” you heard, your eyes half open as the world around you stopped spinning.

Bucky crawled over your body and you could make out a bit just how dark his eyes were before he kissed you. The mess you made on his tongue was put into your mouth as he licked into it, drawing another moan from you. That sound stretched on when you felt his hard cock trapped between your bodies.

“Morning,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Morning,” you replied, still catching your breath. “It’s early.”

“It is,” he agreed, dragging his lips to your nose. “We should go to bed early tonight.”

“Yes, we should.”

“And since you’re sleeping in my bed tonight,” he began triumphantly. “You should sleep in my room tomorrow night, too.”

Nice try. “No,” you smiled.

Bucky glanced quickly at your phone before he looked down at you. “I think I can convince you. But right now let’s see how many times I can fill you up before your first alarm goes off.”

*****

More from Stud and Smartie soon. Love and thanks!

It’s here!!

Hi, for the bingo thingy, can you use “Can you stay?” for a chapter 3 of the Co-parenting ex husband Bucky fic? 😜🙈 (if you turn that into a sad ending again, I’ll ugly cry. 😅😘)

the wait is finally oveeerrr. I didn't expect to write this but it quickly turned into my favorite piece! Thank you for the love (especially after I wrote two sad parts loooolll)

Here it is! and you can find Pt 1 Here and Pt 2 here!

(Y/n) crossed her arms and leaned her head back on the wall, waiting for the principal’s door to open. She couldn’t believe this, Peanut was in kindergarten for fucks sake! How was the principal already calling her in. A couple of teachers had given (Y/n) a heads up, to control the situation before it exploded. 

So, a week ago (Y/n) and Bucky had to have the talk with their five-year-old daughter. Not the birds and the bees, the whole: Your dad is an ex-assassin called the Winter Soldier, he was actually born in 1917 and the whole vibranium arm thing. 

Bucky sat Peanut in front of them. “P, I’m going to tell you something but you have to pay attention okay?”

Her big blue eyes turned into marbles and she nodded her head. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong baby,” (Y/n) assured. “We just need to talk about something that happened to Daddy because we want you to know it from us okay?”

“Where do I begin?” Bucky sighed, he never thought the most difficult person to explain this to would be a child. His child. Bucky never thought he would be able to have a child in the first place. He felt (Y/n)’s hand rub circles on his back and he relaxed into her touch. 

Bucky had warned her about this, how the Winter Soldier would always shadow him. Looming in the darkness. But (Y/n) had said she didn’t care, that their children together would understand what happened and the rest of the world can process it however they wanted to. And here she was, carrying out her end of the deal. 

“I was born a long time ago Peanut.” Bucky started.

P bursted into laughter. “I know that, silly goose. You have white hair! Like the pictures you show me of Uncle Stevie!”

(Y/n) bit the inside of her cheek to hide her laugh but she ended up having to hide behind Bucky as to not incite their daughter’s roasts.

“This is going well.” Bucky muttered.

“You don’t look like Steve, I promise.” She assured, running her fingers through the short hair on the back of his head. “Plus, I like your hair like this. Salt and pepper suits you.” 

But now, a week later, the two of them were called into the principal’s office. The glass door opened. 

“Good morning, thank you for coming.” He told (Y/n). “Should we wait for Mr. Barnes?”

“He won’t be joining us today.” She said in automatic but as she was walking into the principal’s office, a huffing Bucky came into view.

“Sorry I’m late.” Bucky took a deep breath, taking off his leather jacket and placing it behind one of the two chairs in front of the principal’s desk. He took the chair next to him out for (Y/n) to sit in before sitting down himself. 

“I know the two of you are very busy but this issue with your daughter needs to be fixed.” The principal started. “As you know, we are a very private school and we can assure you we’re talking to Billy’s parents as well.”

“Yesterday, Billy told your daughter that he knew who her father was.” The principal continued, making Bucky look down at the floor. “Billy’s older brother told him and showed him some videos on the internet.”

(Y/n) grew angry. “If this is Billy’s fault, then why are we here. James and I talked to you before P came to this school and you assured us it wouldn’t be a problem. We spend a lot of money on this school for this to suddenly become a problem.”

“The problem is that after this, your daughter threatened Billy. She said,” The principal took a look at the paper in front of him, a teacher’s report. “If you know who my dad is then you know you shouldn’t talk to me like that. When I tell him about you, he will squish you with his metal arm.” 

(Y/n) jaw dropped. Oh my god. 

She turned around to look at Bucky but he didn’t have the reaction she wanted. He sat there with a smug smile on his face and his arms crossed. 

“She’s defending herself.” Bucky shrugged and (Y/n) covered her face with her hands.

“You can’t just say that!” She laughed, they decided to get some coffee after the meeting with P’s principal. 

“Why not?” Bucky smiled. “I’m not going to tell off P just because of that stupid kid Billy who by the way, I would squish with my arm.”

“Good to know you’d turn Winter Soldier at the blink of Peanut’s eyes.” She rolled her eyes. 

“She’s my little girl! What else am I supposed to do?” 

“Something along the lines of: Peanut you can’t threaten people.” (Y/n) said, she didn’t think she would have to be explaining why threatening people is wrong to a hundred-year-old man. 

“I’m not going to tell her not to defend herself.” Bucky said. “She’s gutsy and headstrong, P takes after her mother.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes. “I’m not headstrong.”

Bucky stopped in his tracks, taking (Y/n)’s shoulders in his hands and making her look at him. “I didn’t mean it like that, like it’s a bad thing- I love that about you. It was one of the things that drew me into you.” 

A smile developed on (Y/n)’s lips. “Who knew P’s heroic stunt would turn into a compliment shower. Not that I’m complaining.”

Bucky sipped his coffee, tucking her body under his arm and bringing (Y/n) flush to his side. “You want more? Let’s see, you’re insanely witty, you have a beautifully complex mind, you’re extremely hot and you have a thing for older men- which I much appreciate.”

She laughed, burring her face in his chest. It felt so familiar, it felt like home.

- 

It was two am when she heard the shriek. (Y/n) jumped out of bed and opened her bedroom door, trying to find Peanut. The moonlit stairs looked like a crime scene. Blood dripped from step to step all the way to the bottom, where Peanut lay screaming bloody murder.

She raced down the stairs and held her daughter in her arms.

“Mommy it hurts.” Peanut cried, bringing her hand up to a gash on her forehead. 

“I know it hurts baby, I know.” Tears flooded (Y/n)’s eyes but she couldn’t break, not in front of her bleeding daughter. “It’s okay P, I’m going to take you to the hospital okay?”

(Y/n) grabbed the first coat she could find in the closet and the nearest pair of shoes, she rushed to strap P on her car seat and drove to the hospital. 

Ring, ring. 

“Please answer Bucky, please.” (Y/n) had called her ex-husband from the car. 

“Hello?” Bucky’s raspy and sleep filled voice answered.

“Buck?” (Y/n)’s voice cracked, making Bucky sit up straight in bed in a second. “Something’s happened with Peanut, we’re on our way to the hospital.”

“I’ll be there in five.” Was all he said. 

(Y/n) paced outside the room, she could see her daughter sleeping on the white hospital bed through the cracks in the curtains. 

Two hands gripped her shoulders, one cold and one warm, making her eyes shoot up from the floor. 

“What happened?” Bucky asked, peeking into the room. 

“I don’t know what she was trying to do Buck- she got up in the middle of the night and somehow. I don’t know, she fell down the stairs and cut her forehead open.” (Y/n) spoke quickly, like if she processed the words she was speaking she would break. “She said something about wanting to sleep with the doll you brought from Wakanda- I don’t know.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Peanut is fine.” Bucky tried to soothe her. 

(Y/n) clenched her fists at her side and bit her cheek. Anything to stop her from crying. “If I hadn’t forgotten the stupid doll-“

Bucky took her face in his hands. “This was an accident, it’s no one’s fault.”

(Y/n) slowly nodded, trying to blink away the tears. 

Bucky’s eyes furrowed. “Doll, darling, look at me. I’m going to need you to say that. You know it was an accident right?”

“It was an accident.” She whispered, the pain becoming unbearable.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her, bringing her as close to him as possible. “You’re okay, everything’s going to be fine. I’m here, I’m here for you, for as long as you want me to be.”

That was it, what she needed to hear to break down. To be vulnerable. To know someone would be there to catch her if she fell. 

(Y/n) sobbed into Bucky’s chest for what felt like hours. And he was there, rubbing her back soothingly and whispering kind words into her ear. 

It was well into the evening the next day when Peanut was finally given the all clear from her doctors. Three stitches and an ankle sprain later, she was tucked into bed. 

“I need you to promise me you will never ever do that again.” Bucky brought the comforter up as he tucked Peanut in. 

“Promise daddy.” She smiled. “You wanna know something cool?”

“What’s that?” Bucky ran his finger against her cheek. 

Peanut sat up and pulled Bucky’s cap sleeve up to his shoulder. “Daddy and P are gonna match.”

Bucky’s eyes swelled with tears as he saw his little girl’s tiny hand rub against the scarred skin on his left shoulder. It was like all the pain and suffering suddenly turned into something good. With six simple words, Peanut made everything worth it.

“We sure are.” Bucky lips turned upwards. 

“She looks so peaceful, you wouldn’t imagine she’s a little tornado once those pretty eyes open.” Bucky chuckled lightly as he closed his daughter’s bedroom door. 

“We’ve been amazing parents for the past 24 hours, could I interest you in a glass of cheap wine that will definitely give us a headache tomorrow?” (Y/n) smiled. 

“You read my mind.” Bucky leaned his head back with closed eyes, he grabbed the baby monitor from the hallway credenza. “How about you go outside and I’ll bring everything out. You deserve a break.”

And what a break he gave (Y/n). Bucky just about held the glass of wine to her lips. He brought out the drinks, some snacks and started by bringing her legs closer to him. Massaging her tired calves. 

“I still remember when we bought the house.” Bucky hummed. “And now it’s been what- six years?”

“Do you remember when we wanted to buy that new build? Everything was so white and sterile.” (Y/n) laughed. “But as soon as I found this house, I knew it was the one.”

“Excuse me?” Bucky laughed, eyebrows raised. “If I remember correctly, I was the one who found the house. You were sad thinking we hadn’t found a home, and I was the one who begged you to come and see it.”

(Y/n)’s happy smile dimmed. “We were so happy when we first moved in, what happened?”

“I took you for granted.” Bucky sighed. “That’s what happened.”

“After Steve left, I think I just stopped wanting anything. Work seemed boring, life at home was scary, taking care of P was terrifying for me. For years I thought I would be alone in this world and then suddenly, you came and gave me more love than I deserved. Gave me a beautiful daughter.” Bucky opened his heart. “And instead of working on myself I decided to just stop, stop trying. And it was selfish of me to think that you would just ride along with me even though I did everything to push you away. I never wanted you to think I didn’t love you, God do I love you. Sometimes I’m truly scared of what I feel because I love you so much it hurts. It pains me to have had you and lost you.”

Bucky tried to get out a strong voice but it cracked. “And I’ll live the rest of my life loving you and regretting having lost you. Sometimes, I think it’s a form of Karma. Like the gods above don’t know every wrong thing I did wasn’t me so now I have to live with this deep regret. The kind that settles into your bones.”

“Buck-“ (Y/n) tried to comfort him.

“No,” He shook his head. “you’re too sweet for your own good and you’ll try and tell me it’s not my fault. But it is. I’m not telling you this so you have pity on me, I just want you to know that I fucked up. You were perfect and amazing and I didn’t know what to do with something so delicate.”

“And I’m saying this just so you know that I’ll always be here for you. I’ll always love you.” 

(Y/n) couldn’t take it anymore. She crashed her lips onto his. A kiss that would explain everything she felt. All the anger, all the sadness and especially all the love. A kiss that says: I love you too.

She rested her forehead against his, her breath shallow. “Can you stay?”

“Stay tonight?” He asked, his voice pained. 

“Please stay forever.” She whispered. 

Thank you thank you sooo much for the love! Hope you guys like it, if you do remember to like reblog and comment! I'll love you forever if you do <3

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Hi hiiii This is part of my 1k Celebration, if you like this please be sure to look at the Bingo Card and ask for a prompt! Love y'all <33

And you can find the Bingo master list and what prompts are still available here!

R.I.P. Matthew

Matthew Langford Perry (August 19, 1969 - October 28, 2023)