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I’m 16 and I’m pregnant. My mother doesn’t believe in abortion. What do I do?

Someone asked us:

I’m 16 and pregnant. I hate to say it but I wasn’t smart when it came to protection. The problem is, my mom doesn’t believe in abortion. What are my options. I’m so scared that I’m going to be forced to have a baby I’m not ready for. I’m 16. I don’t even have a drivers license yet. How am I suppose to raise a baby. My mom is very unsupportive. How am I going to do this?! What are my options. If I do have to have this baby what can I do?? I’m so scared. I feel like my life is falling apart.

I know that’s hard to believe right now, but you’ll get through this. You’re in a tough situation — no doubt about it. But you’re already reaching out for help. That’s a great first step, and we’re here to help you.

When you’re in a situation that feels overwhelming it helps to take things one step at a time. It sounds like the first thing you need to do is talk with someone in person about your options. You seem pretty sure that your mother doesn’t believe in abortion and wouldn’t support you if you wanted to have one. I can’t tell from your message what exactly you want to do — if you want to keep the pregnancy and become a parent, have an abortion, or give the baby for adoption — but if talking with your mother won’t be helpful, talking with the staff at your nearest Planned Parenthood health center will be. First they can talk through your options with you, and then get you started on the right option for you depending on what you decide (prenatal care or abortion).

If you want to have an abortion, you may not need your mother’s permission. That depends somewhat on where you live. Some states don’t require permission from your parents at all. Other states do. But even most of those states have a way for you to have an abortion without a parent or guardian. That process is called judicial bypass: It’s when a judge says it’s okay for you to get an abortion without involving your parents in your decision.

It may sound scary, but the staff at your nearest Planned Parenthood health center can help with that process. So call them and make an appointment.

Once you’ve made your appointment, your second step is to find a way to get there. You said that you don’t have a driver’s license. For that and other practical reasons, you may need to let someone in your life that you trust know what’s going on, someone who can give you a ride. Otherwise, can you walk or take public transportation? Can you take a taxi? The health center staff you speak with on the phone may have some suggestions or directions for getting there.

The rest of the steps you need to take are going to depend on what you decide to do. But remember, the staff at your nearest Planned Parenthood health center will help you every step of the way.

Last piece of advice: don’t delay! If you’re pregnant, regardless of whether you’re going to have an abortion or stay pregnant, it’s important to get started on that path ASAP, to make sure you stay healthy. You can do this!

-Emily at Planned Parenthood

A friendly reminder from the Campaign for Southern Equality.