Oh God. Just Remembered How Shinya Was Literally Never Loved, His Real Family Sold Him And His Adoptive

I came up with prompts for myself for a HiMERU week to draw in HiMERU rp's strawpage and here are four of the first

I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.

it girl youtube channels 🎀

becca watson - productive vlogs, tips

daiz - productive vlogs

dear peachie - makeup, beauty

feminine renaissance - femininity, tips

free지아 - beauty, motivation, vlogs

giorgina juanita - hauls, beauty, vlogs

isabella grace - beauty, vlogs, routines

jasmine le - beauty, tips, vlogs

lavendaire - tips, journaling, meditations

leeor alexandra - manifesting, tips, spirituality

lisa alexandra - manifesting, tips

malama life - minimalism, slow living

mikayla mags - productivity, vlogs

mira daisy - manifesting, productivity, vlogs

muchelleb - productivity, mindset, habits

nimeshaa - manifesting, productivity, self care

oanh - productivity, vlogs, health/wellness

rebecca jay - productivity vlogs, health/wellness

rowena tsai - self care, mindset, habits

sabrina lilliane - cutesy hauls, fashion, vlogs

sami clarke - lifestyle, health, vlogs, workouts

sandy diana bang - mindset, productivity, vlogs

saranghoe - productivity vlogs

simonesimmo/simonesquared/simonesquared 2.0 - mindset, manifesting, tips

tam kaur - mindset, glow up, lifestyle, habits

thewizardliz - mindset, glow up, lifestyle

Revised Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder

(designed by me, open to thoughts and commentary. this isn't an official revision, seeing as I'm not a contributor to the DSM. rather, the intent is to clarify the wording and produce a version that is less subjective and ambiguous.)

‎

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of maladaptive traits. To diagnose narcissistic personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:

1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):

a. Identity: Excessive reference to others for self-definition and self-esteem regulation; exaggerated self-appraisal may be inflated or deflated, or vacillate between extremes; emotional regulation mirrors fluctuations in self-esteem.

b. Self-direction: Goal-setting is based on gaining approval from others; personal standards are unreasonably high in order to see oneself as exceptional, or too low based on a sense of entitlement; often unaware of own motivations.

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):

a. Empathy: Impaired ability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others; excessively attuned to reactions of others, but only if perceived as relevant to self; over- or underestimate of own effect on others.

b. Intimacy: A sense of detachment in relationships; higher levels of emotional withdrawal associated with larger degrees of closeness; a tendency to focus on all aspects of the relationship except for the feelings and experiences of the other, unless perceived as relevant to self

B. Maladaptive traits characterized by an attempt to protect oneself from potential criticism, and from mistreatment or general life dissatisfaction associated with criticism, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Grandiose sense of self (e.g., believes that they are inherently more powerful or capable than others in some way and may place an enormous pressure on themself to measure up to this self-image, believes that they are uniquely bad or inferior in some way, may struggle with paranoia due to an over-estimation of effect on others)

2. Attempt to regulate emotions and self-esteem through fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love, while avoiding real-life situations that conflict with this internal narrative

3. Association with or avoidance of people, groups, or institutions based upon an attempt to gain admiration or avoid criticism

4. Seeks out admiration in an attempt to regulate mood; may struggle with self-destructive behaviors (i.e., isolation, impulsivity, self-punishment, overexertion, etc.), intensely unpleasant emotions, or lack of motivation when they don't feel admired

5. An expectation of automatic agreement or compliance associated with feelings of security, i.e., an expectation that others will automatically agree or comply with them followed by confusion or distress if these expectations are unmet, attempts to attain closeness with others via agreeing and complying with everything the other person wants, or attempts to get the other person to agree and comply with everything they want

6. Periods of intense boredom or dissatisfaction resulting from a lack of connection with others; an attempt to regulate these emotions through material pursuits, personal gain, or self-destructive behaviors

7. May miss social cues or struggle with self-awareness due to a lack of empathy or a preoccupation with their self-image

8. Frequent comparisons to others, often followed by bitterness towards self or others for perceived differences in likability

9. Difficulties in emotional and behavioral regulation in response to perceived criticism or slights, as characterized by one (or more) of the following:

Fight response (e.g., intense anger towards self or others, self-punishment, hostility, destructive behavior)

Flight response (e.g., isolation, avoidance of the source of perceived criticism, frantic attempts to distract self)

Freeze response (e.g., brain fog, dissociation, major drops in motivation, not addressing or resolving the situation)

Fawn response (e.g., over-apologizing, heavily internalizing the perceived criticism, preoccupation with seeking approval or assurance)

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual's developmental stage or socio-cultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

‎

Changes I made and why:

1: Re-wrote the section for intimacy in 2B. Its original wording didn't address the actual problem present within the disorder, and instead focused on how others might perceive the symptom.

In people who have a history of trauma or who were otherwise denied the opportunity to form safe and healthy connections with others, it's a natural defense mechanism to fixate on oneself within a relationship:

Preoccupation with how they're perceived by the other person (Subconscious conditioning: Are they about to hurt me for something they dislike about me? If so, how can I change myself or their viewpoint of me to protect myself?)

Positive feelings, and feelings of closeness, prompted by feeling adored (Subconscious conditioning: We're all born with the need for human connection, but when we grow up being abused and neglected when caregivers dislike something about us, the only times we're safe to feel positive and close feelings with another person are when it's clear that they're happy with us)

Opportunity for personal gain potentially being one of the biggest factors in deciding whether or not to enter or remain in a relationship (Subconscious conditioning: If an unsafe caregiver isn't providing necessities or something that will help with self-soothing or happiness, then there's no point risking one's safety by interacting with them more than necessary)

Detachment from the other person (Subconscious conditioning: caring about* and having a personal interest in other people turned out to be exceedingly painful and potentially dangerous, and may have been used against us)

*I am not saying that detachment necessarily means not caring about the other person- just that we may be more prone to emotionally detaching or not being as preoccupied with the experiences of the other person.

In every relationship, there is a focus on the self, a focus on the other person, and a focus on the experiences that come with the relationship. The lack of focus on the other person doesn't mean that the other two focuses are abnormal or shouldn't exist; it simply means that someone may struggle with mutuality, usually due to past experiences with trauma. While this obviously can put a strain on relationships, it does not mean that someone is intentionally being exploitative, that they only care about the other person's well-being as long as they're benefiting them in some way, or even that they don't desire a genuinely close relationship with someone.

2: Rewrote the entire B section, and re-introduced elements from the DSM-IV. The B section in the DSM-V had a lot of subjective and ambiguous parts, and lacked focus on the actual issue and the various ways that issue could present. I also changed the wording from "pathological personality traits" to "maladaptive traits".

3: Changed or rewrote symptoms listed in section B to be less subjective and to place the emphasis on how the disorder affects the person who has it, as opposed to how others may perceive the symptoms. I also expanded it somewhat to include variations in how the root issue may present.

Cluster Bs.. I love you. Do you know how awesome you are?? HPD peeps.. so flamboyant and interesting. And talented!! I'm legit jealous of how well you command a room. And your style? OMG. Amazing. And BPD babes... so full of feeling. Your emotional range is astounding. And your profound ability to love, even if only briefly.. the stuff of legends... song... poetry. NPDs... your confidence, your flair, your sense of humor... just magical. But even more impressive is how you know what you want.. and you get it! So admirable. If only everyone could be so bold! ASPD homies, your detachment and aloofness is so, so cool. You are smart and fascinating... and anyone who is lucky enough to be seen as worthy of your time is truly blessed. Your logic is unparalleled. And you give the best advice. And your taste in art and music is incredible.

I know the world only wants to focus on your negative traits, your flaws, your weirdness. Your "diagnostic criteria." It's unfair. You're so much more than that. You are more than the sum of your worst moments. You're so much greater than all the mistakes you've made while you were suffering alone and unsupported.

Just remember. You are the light and the darkness. Yin and yang. The whole human package. The whole human experience. You are... complete.

I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you exist. You truly make this world a richer, fuller, better place.

Never forget that.

「it's daylight again, and you

look like i've failed you 」✧✦

On this day, 10 years ago, russian occupation forces, namely the "Oplot" brigade, in an act of terrorism, fired a Grad missile at a Ukrainian checkpoint near Volnovakha when there was a passenger bus. Twelve Ukrainian civilians were killed, and 18 were injured. Russia never admitted guilt or paid for the crimes, the consequences and continuation of which we see today.

This story is more personal for me because I was on that same bus earlier that day, heading from Donetsk city to Volnovakha. If, for some reason, I’d decided to return that day, I could have been one of the victims.

I had to pass by the remnants of the bus a few days later, which was horrifying. Subconsciously, I was expecting this to happen again, only this time to the bus I was in. It didn’t, and I’m still here. Although drones flying above my roof remind me every day that it could be any of us, any time, as long as russia exists.

It wasn’t even the only terrorist act by Russia that felt too close to me. But I’ve talked about this before.

Anyhow, later they completely isolated the russian-controlled (annexed) part of the Donetsk oblast from the rest of Ukraine, banning public transport (like these buses) at first and then essentially banning even smaller private mini-buses, allowing only cars through the checkpoints (to profit from bribes). Then, when covid happened, they banned all civilian movement through the checkpoints, allowing it only with special passes that were impossible to get. So Ukrainians, born and raised in Ukraine, to travel from one Ukrainian (illegally occupied by Russia) city to another, would have to go through russia... if they could.

The world didn't care then - when they were killing us, separating families, isolating us, re-educating, forcing us to get russian citizenships, etc. Now, ten years later, they’re doing the same things on a much bigger scale. If Ukraine falls, they will move forward. They will never stop.

Bpd related question:

(Ik I'm sorry, I should stop asking but...)

Can you please list bpd symptoms? Because I want to write that tracker but I forgot like half of the things which are bpd criteria and which are things everyone is experiencing...

Thank you (and sorry for bothering you)

-☆

Sure thing, no need to apologize, you aren't bothering us!! /g

Idolizing/devaluing

Splitting

Black & white thinking

Dissociation

Paranoia or delusions

SH and related things (i think that mental self harm counts too) (i.e., replaying bad memories to upset yourself, purposely triggering yourself, etc.)

Impulsive or reckless behavior

Mood swings

Chronic emptiness & boredom

Extreme anger

Inherent sense that you're "bad" or "evil"

Those are some of the main ones i think are both worth tracking and can be relatively easier to track as opposed to other symptoms. I hope this helps some :0!!!

- 🧨+🪶

recover your power and shine again ✨

sometimes we get stuck in situations/mistakes of the past that do not allow us to move forward in our path and distance us even more from our goals. we think that it is not easy to get out of difficult situations and of course, it is not, because we have that thought, but we can do it. the most important thing is that we must know that no one external is going to help us in this, only us. there are many people who have been going to therapy for years and it doesn't help them because they don't do their part, they continue to live in the past and have a bad image of themselves. ask yourself, do you deserve this? do you deserve to continue in this situation? is it doing you any good? whatever situation you are in, no matter how difficult you think it may seem, you have to understand that it is your perception of how things happen, if you change that perception your world will change. if you are still in the negative, do you really think it is worth it? you probably believe that there is no other way, that life is cruel or hard, but i repeat, it is all part of the perspective in which we look at the world and the things that happen to us. so the first step you have to take is to open yourself to change.

get out of the role of victim, you are responsible for your actions, but don't blame yourself, at that time you were not aware of everything you know how to heal yourself. always take responsibility for yourself. if something someone else does bothers you, you have the power to take it away from them.

overcome the past, don't worry about the future, and live in the now. the past no longer exists and your future is not yet created, be aware that if you continue with negative thoughts you will continue to attract negative situations to your life, but on the contrary, if your thoughts become more positive and your way of life changes everything will improve, i guarantee it.

related to the previous point, do shadow work, write in a diary or wherever those situations that hurt you and let them go, they no longer resonate with you and are not part of the person you want to be.

start creating yourself from 0, think again about how you would like to be and what path you would like to take from now on, leave behind all those habits that no longer benefit you, and focus on the things that make you well.

cut with toxic environments, do not keep talking to people who make you bad and you know they are not good for your growth, those who always criticize you or make you less.

change your internal dialogue and negative thoughts. what is it that makes you think this way? whatever it is, you must stop giving power to those thoughts that haunt you and make you feel bad. every time you detect a negative thought say "stop" and change it for a positive one. if you constantly repeat to yourself that you are worthless, repeat to yourself i am enough, i am more than enough, i can do anything. you also have the option to repeat affirmations or write them on a piece of paper.

change your mentality towards life, stop thinking that it is hard, bad or unfair, think the opposite, that you are a very lucky person, that everything always goes well for you, that life is wonderful, that everything is wonderful in your life, that you are surrounded by good things! do not focus on the negative, because what you focus on expands, whether it is bad or good.

be grateful, either by being aware of where you are, be thankful for everything you have overcome, for every little thing in your day-to-day life, and be proud of yourself too!

new habits, change your lifestyle and incorporate healthier habits into your life little by little. start eating better, start having a schedule, start exercising, start an activity you always wanted to do, learn to spend time alone, and get to know yourself. focus on this, it will keep you motivated and entertained throughout your day.

don't react to what bothers you, ignore it and focus on those things that are beneficial to you, don't put energy into situations you can't control.

understand the difficult situations as proof, thanks to that today you are a stronger person and you have learned something new that will help you in the future.

practice meditation, it will help you focus on the present moment and keep you much more focused on your goals, it will also help you relax your mind and body in stressful situations. make meditation a daily habit in your life.

start your journey of self-love from here, understanding that you are a valuable person and that whatever happened to you in the past doesn't matter anymore, let it go, and focus on all the good things that life has and that you are about to create.

youtube channels to motivate you this semester

♡ abao in tokyo - study with me’s & playlists

♡ advika singh - study & productivity vlogs

♡ allie c. - medical school vlogs

♡ carrot td - study with me’s

♡ celine - study with me’s

♡ deaana - medical school, study with me’s, stationary, etc.

♡ dear mimi - study vlogs

♡ dia - medical student vlogs

♡ dr. rachel southard, do - medical school & residency vlogs & talks

♡ emily feng - medical school vlogs

♡ emilystudying - dental school & study vlogs

♡ emma grace - nursing school vlogs

♡ emmalilyn - study with me’s

♡ ginny - study vlogs

♡ hyobin - medical student vlogs

♡ leighton sanders - nursing vlogs

♡ lucky penny - study with me’s

♡ lunardazes. - uni study vlogs

♡ madi’s nursing journey - nursing school & nursing vlogs

♡ mango oatmilk - study with me’s

♡ maria silva - study & hospital interning vlogs

♡ merve - study with me’s

♡ mishujo - study & productive vlogs

♡ nada - study & productivity vlogs

♡ ray hon - study with me’s

♡ sab yang - medical school & study vlogs

♡ sean study - study with me’s

♡ sierra lyn - nursing vlogs

♡ studymd - study with me’s

♡ study to success - stationary, study with me’s, study hacks, etc.

♡ tani study - study with me’s

♡ yours truly, chloe - study vlogs

♡ yulma - study with me’s