Violence Isnt The Answer… Unless It Is.

New Robin Tim: *Just sitting there happily watching the Incredibles with Dick and Bruce*

Dick and Bruce: *secretly watching Tim and glancing at each other every time Syndrome comes on screen*

I’m gonna try and figure out how to make this a pattern. I will have this if I have to fight God for it.

The codfather head is finished!!! Here it is on a lamp and on the floor because I couldn't be bothered to wear it myself until I get the rest of the cosplay ready.

saving for when ao3 returns.

SCP Rewrite Season 2: Blue Key

“Alpha Strike, report to Professor Otis’ office immediately, I repeat, report to Otis’ office immediately!”

The PA system interrupted the overall good day that Cory (and by extension the rest of the gang, no one really liked Otis)

“I just started eating,” Scott sighed, looking down.

“Yeah, I need to finish third lunch!” Cory pouted.

“Doesn’t matter now, let’s head off everyone,” Triana said as she left the common room, the rest of the team trailed behind her as they all made their way to Otis’ office.

“This is gonna suck…” Lara grumbled.

Alpha Strike walked into the rather bare office, grouping up directly in front of the desk where Otis was sitting behind; tapping his desk nervously and squinting at the MTF when they all entered.

“Ah, hello the six of you,” Otis breathed out. “I know we haven’t been on… the best terms recently, but I need you to put that behind you,”

“We will, sir,” Triana sighed. “Right everyone?”

The rest of Alpha Strike half-heartedly nodded, or mumbled a form of the word “yes”.

Otis nodded too. “Good, I have a personal mission for you,” Otis placed a blue key on the table.

“Is that-”

“Yes it’s SCP 860!” Otis interrupted Hooper as he began to speak. “I am asking you to explore the dimension created by the key. Take the Micro HID Gun with you,”

“Why? I thought we got everything we needed from there awhile ago,” Scott turned his head curiously.

Otis sighed roughly. “We are seeing if there is any way to stun the creature within it, no more questions. Get to it,”

Cory raised his hand. “But-”

“Get to it!”

Cory sighed, Alpha Strike left the office as quickly as they had entered.

---

“Why is he so friggin’ mean…” Cory pouted, Hooper patted him on the back a little.

“Don’t feel too bad, he’s a dick to most’a us,” The Corporal reassured.

“He’s also sending us on a suicide mission,” Nikole said. “There’s that,”

Triana looked around her crew. “Yeah, this mission into 860-1 seems sketchy at best, and an assassination attempt at worse,”

“Eh, we’ll get through it,” Scott shrugged. “They actually put in the suggestions I made for the Micro HID Thingy, so it should be actually stable this time,”

“Hopefully, you’re the only guy who’s fun around here,” Nikole chuckled as she hit him on the back.

Cory pouted harder. “I’m fun!”

“Fun to laugh at, yeah,” Nikole chuckled before “Ow!”

Hooper jabbed her in the side.

“Jeez, fine I get it,”

The trip to the door that 860 opened didn’t take much longer, not factoring in the still relatively short wait to get the Micro HID into Scott’s hands.

---

Every member of Alpha Strike was standing in front of the door. Lara was sitting over a laptop.

“Alright, let’s head on in, get this over with,” Triana said as she put the key in the hole, opening the door. She lead each members of her team into the door ending with her-

“Hey, Tri,”

“Yeah honey?” Triana turned around to look at Lara.

The blue haired woman’s face scrunched into one of concern. “Stay safe in there, I know someone who was apart of the initial containment for this thing and it wasn’t pretty,”

“I will, Lara,” Triana nodded. “I love you,”

“Love you too, Tri,”

---

The team walked on into a large, dense forest. They found themselves in a large, dense forest with trees a hundred times taller than them. They found themselves on a dirt path stretching out in front of them.

“Alright, getting out of here shouldn’t be too hard,” Lara said. “Just move forward until you find another door,”

“Thanks Bluejay,” Triana said. “You heard her, let’s get moving, be on high alert so we don’t get jumped,”

“Yes ma’am!” Scott said as he readied the large gun in his hand.

Cory shivered and counted the twigs on the floor as the team began to move through the dark forest. The whole ordeal reminded him of the shadow guy incident, Micro HID that may or may not work this time included.

The team continued to walk through the path until they got to a fork in the roads.

Triana tapped her earpiece. “We’re at a crossroads, Bluejay, left or-”

“Right,” Lara affirmed. “This someone went right and escaped, so you probably will too,”

“Thanks,” Triana smiled. “You heard her, let’s go right,”

“Roger that!” Hooper affirmed.

“No, seriously who is Roger?”

The team quickly turned around to stare judgmentally at Cory, then turned around just as quickly to walk on the left path. The cobblestones were starting to make the anxious camera faced man’s feet hurt.

“Jeez, when’s this gonna be over? I wanna go home,” Cory mumbled.

“We all do, you just need to suck it up for now- AGH!”

Triana screeched as something pounced from the trees. A big cat made of purple wood with flesh sticking out of the cracks, and glowing yellow eyes that bored into Triana’s as it began to claw at her: chest, stomach and arms.

Triana groaned in pain as she began to kick the thing, Scott began to charge up the Micro as Nikole ran over to force the thing off.

“Dude, move I’m about to-”

“Give it a minute!” Nikole yelled as hit the Skip repeatedly on the back, it began to scream in pain too as it waved a claw at the Sergeant; Nikole managed only a scratch on her upper chest.

Triana grabbed the thing’s other arm and slammed it to the floor as she kicked herself to her feet.

“SCOTT, NOW!”

“I’m doing it!”

FWEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The creature writhed and writhed, like a cat restrained in barbed wire. Triana’s hold was firm, adrenaline was to thank for that, however.

“FUCK!” Triana shouted when the thing bit her arm, the pain forced her muscular arm off of the creature who jumped into the forest just us

BZZZZT

A patch of burnt, dead grass between the two women, and the complete lack of the creature. Leaves rustled as everyone slowly calmed down from the encounter.

“Goddammit!” Triana yelled raising her hand as- “Ow!”

Rest for awhile, LT, you look pretty fucked up,” Hooper patted Triana on the back, then quickly stopped doing that cause it made Triana wince.

“What happened? What the fuck happened, is everyone okay, hello? Hello?” Lara panicked over the radio, her voice filled with shrill anxiety.

“I-I’m… fine,” Triana winced. “We need to-”

“You literally just got attacked,” Nikole winced too as she covered the scratch on her chest. “We’ll patch this up, and we’ll keep moving, but you gotta stay behind us,”

“I-I shit…” Triana trailed off. “I guess we’ll have to rest, ack up here for a bit,”

Lara could be heard breathing in and out, desperately trying to calm herself down. “Tri, Tri are you alright?”

“I just got attacked, I-I’ll be fine, honey, just breathe,” Triana reassured, her voice shaky from the bleeding that Hooper had begun to patch up using some gauze.

“Okay, okay, that’s much better alright,” Lara let out a huge breath. “I mean, you being attacked is bad, but you’re still speaking, so it’s not too bad?”

“Skip dinked ya up bad, huh?” Hooper mumbled to himself as he wrapped up the bite mark.

“Oh jeez really? I uh… shit shit shit,” Lara mumbled.

“Hoop, quit giving Lara a heart attack,” Nikole sighed as she quickly patched up her own wound. “I’ll go get blondie to unfreeze-”

“I’m fine,” Cory mumbled. “Let’s just uh… get this done as soon as possible,”

“Agreed,” Triana grimaced as she slowly got up from the floor, Hooper quickly offered his shoulder as support.

“You really alright, Cory? You look a bit shaken up is all,” Hooper asked, concern evident in his soft tone.

“Yeah, I’m just shaken up,” Cory let out a breath. “Ready to keep going,”

“That’s good,” Scott smiled as he carried the Micro. “Anyways, for some good news this thing still has another charge, we might still be able to catch this thing,”

“Alright that’s good, we’ll need a way to lure that thing out though,” Triana said. “It’s skiddish, so we’ll fuck need a way to keep it occupied,”

“Before you ask… no, I am not being bait for-”

“I’ll do it,” Nikole interrupted Cory as she raised her hand. “It’ll wanna go after me anyway, got the feeling it’s pissy with me after we showed it its place,”

Triana let out a wheezy chuckle. “Makes sense to me, let’s get to it,”

Cory breathed a sigh of relief, he (probably) wasn’t gonna get scratched by this weird cat thingy!

---

Nikole stood in the middle of a patch of the forest, everyone else was out of sight. She lightly moved the bandage around her upper chest to let the smell of blood enter the air.

“Come outta here you weird cat thing, you don’t have the balls!” Nikole mumbled after she took a swig from her flask, an extremely important part of the plan according to her.

Rrrrrrrr…

Growling, it was in the woods… lying in wait for the perfect chance to pounce.

The prey was practically presenting itself to it, it was almost too good to be true for the creature. The intruder would be annihilated and the rest would leave; all it needed to do was pounced-

BZZZZZZT

It roared in midair as it fell to the ground, electric pain throughout its whole body.

“Wooooo!” Scott cheered as he lowered the Gun. “We gottem!”

“Don’t celebrate too soon, now we gotta carry it out,” Hooper said. “Lara, tell the higher ups that we incapacitated the Skip,”

“Will do, Hoop,” Lara said. “Just get out of there ASAP, I-I’m not super comfy with Tri being in there is all,”

“I’ll live, honey,” Triana sighed. “Just a couple days in the medical wing is all,”

“Hopefully,” Lara chuckled uncomfortably.

“Woooooooooo! We’re the fucken’ winners tonight!” Nikole waved her arms as she stepped around the forest.

“Welp, everyone’s either injured or drunk, you gotta help me carry this thing, Cory,” Hooper said with his hands wrapped around the wrist of the creature.

“Do I have to?” Cory puffed his cheeks.

“Well, considerin’ that Triana’s too injured, and Nik’s too drunk… I’m kinda your boss,” Hooper chuckled. “So yeah, you have to,”

“Ugh, I should’ve stayed in accounting…” Cory pouted as he lazily stomped his way over to the incapacitated creature.

Dick: I can’t tell if I should be worried about Damian’s reaction to this or Tim’s revenge for the reaction??

Tim, talking to Ras in front of the batfamily: I WANT you to leave me alone! AND IF I HAVE TO KILL ANOTHER ASSASSIN TO GET THE POINT ACROSS-

Bruce: Woah, woah, What!?

Tim, defeated: I am losing my mind, B.

Fox: *after watching Obi-Wan yell at the chancellor through a glass wall with no idea what he was saying because soundproofing but amused cause he just KNOWS that smile means Sheev is only holding back the rage of cold blooded murder because of witnesses* Heh. Cute.

Obi-Wan: *yelling at Palps for telling his kid the Jedi will kick him out for being married and now he’s throwing accusations around and about to go public with Palps hanging out with little boys by threatening their guardians and ruin him forever*

Palpatine: :/

Fox: *after Obi-Wan storms out of the room* Respectfully, like /super/ respectfully, do you even know you were being watched by an entire floor of secretaries and clone guards who def recorded that?

Obi-Wan: Don’t know, can’t care, I’m gonna spread rumors the Chancellor likes little boys now.

Fox: 😨… why didn’t I think of that…

Three hours later

Fox: *storms into the officers lounge* Cody! I’m marrying your general. Or bedding him. He’s worthy of this deece.

Cody: *halfway through his seventh caff of the day* …listen. I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that, and give you a five minute head start.

Fox: Fair.

Rex: I hate everyone in this family.

Lol so I’m considering trying this AU but making a Mizar that’s EXACTLY like Mabel except memory wise(obviously), I kinda wanna have Dipper have a crisis over it but IDK.

Filled in the blank space :D istg my pride died while drawing those boots. Realized there’s not much on what Torako wears, so I just made her look badass;)

What’s Bruce gonna do? Let the kid run around untrained? Let the boy get hurt? Let the boy die alone and afraid because he refused to train him???

I fully believe that Tim put together a presentation to convince Bruce to let him be Robin. His first point was that he fit the qualifications needed to be considered one of Bruce's children.

Point number 2 was 'if you don’t do it, then I’ll go out there alone. By myself. With no help. Or any training.'

Dick saw this and was laughing so much he cried.

hamilton quote in 2023 again? yeah

now animated

Now that I have experience with doing extensive research, the headcanon that Jaster desperately wants to get into the Jedi Archives for research purposes for Mandalorian history becomes more hilarious and more understandable.

I bet you that everyone close to him is sick of hearing him bemoan about not being allowed in just to study the writings of Terre Vizsla for a personal project of his (maybe even studying how Terre would combine old Mandalorian with whatever is old basic bc he’s a linguistic geek) and just find him a Jedi who will marry him to make him stop complaining 😂

Finally! SOMEONE acknowledges it!

Headcanon for the Batkids:

Steph: So, which one of you is dick's favorite?

Jason and Damian, at the same time: Me.

Jason: Excuse you Demon, why the hell do you think you’re his favorite?

Damian: I was his Robin not long ago, remember? We had grown quite close as partners and brothers.

Jason: Yeah, well I was his first brother. If not for me he wouldn’t have known what to do with one.

Jason and Damian continue to argue:

Duke: She knows it's Tim, right?

Cass: She knows.

Bonus:

Tim, just existing:

Dick: I would kill for you.

Tim: *sighs* I know, Dick.

Dick: Just say the word, and I’ll do it.

Tim: I know, Dick.