choi beomgyu has hated you since your fifth grade music class when you outperformed everyone with your bright red recorder, but you never knew the reason why. almost fifteen years later, you end up as members of the same world-renowned orchestra which forces both of you to face the music - about yourselves, your feelings, and quite literally, the music you play.
.: 10.6k words .:. drummer beomgyu x flutist female reader .:. fluff, angst, musician au :.
.: tw: depictions of colorblindness, depictions of hearing loss, mature language, alcohol consumption, tipsy driving (legally sober), smoking :.
.: masterlist :.
You are a lot of things.
To your parents, you are the golden child; intelligent, beautiful, charming - and they love bragging about it. To your friends, you are the mom friend; empathetic, generous, humorous - and they love being with you for it. To your mentors, you are the model student; respectful, responsible, persevering - and they love berating other students for it.
To Choi Beomgyu, you are the devil’s spawn; prideful, irritable, punchable - and he has no plans of changing his mind.
Or rather, he had no plans to change his mind.
His hatred for anything and everything related to you dates back to the fifth grade, when you’d first transferred into his elementary school. At first, you two were simply classmates, as you were simply the new girl in town, and when you’re nine years old, those things don’t really matter. Priorities for a young boy such as he was back then laid in Sunday morning cartoons and building lego models.
This was the calm before the storm.
The storm began in the music room on a Wednesday afternoon, the last class of the day in which every student was given a recorder.
Beomgyu, ever the competitive soul, had already spent all of summer break practicing ‘Hot Cross Buns’ on his older brother’s recorder and was excited to share his superior musical talents with his peers and their music teacher. He’d always been more inclined towards rhythm and music as a child, so even when no one else in his family was really a musician, young little Beomgyu found himself much more determined to impress.
After playing his three-note piece, the applause that filled his ears was addicting, awed faces on his thirty-person fifth-grade audience.
Except for one.
The quiet new girl from worlds away looked bored.
You looked bored.
Keep reading
🐰 🍓
➵ park sunghoon x f!reader
➵ summary: coming back to your home country for seoul uni and being partnered up with your ex on an assignment wouldn’t be so bad—if it weren’t for his 3 year old child who he has no idea about.
➵ genre: exes to lovers
➵ featuring: ryujin, chaeryeong, wonyoung, karina, heejin, jungkook, hoseok
➵ warnings: none. just some angst but mostly fluff and crack
➵ taglist: open! send an ask to be added
⤾ masterlist
baby squad assemble | ghost daddy & bros
1. rue when was this
2. start of the year party
3. the favor
4. you’re back?
…to be written
taglist: @yvesismywife @notrosemary @abdiitcryy @ja4hyvn @enhacolor @msxflower @snghnluvr @enhasengene @c9tnoos @ddeonu-s2 @catecita @fairycheol @solitxre @jakeisnotafurry @onedreampalette @hopelessrthym @heystarlette @rosieeyy @sweetjaemss @bang-bang-bangtxn @peaceandloverry @y2knaevis @haoreo @ifwtyun @jaerisdiction @staryskyv @chirokookie @sunny-nyu @yylv @kiwivy @cyuuupid @moonchildaera @tobiosbbyghorl @yoonssungs @iovnyu @jongsungs @02sjy @au-rie @viscoolreal @certainyouthpeanut @enhabrainrot @darkheartpeace @tmrwxtogether @ashxxkook @papiibuprofen
‘how do I download pdf’: laughable, obvious shorthand for completely tech-incompetent old people
‘how do I edit pdf’: deep mystery our top technologists are still working on to this day
banner by the amazing @sunoope <33
pairing ↬ rich!jay x fem!reader + fratboy!heeseung
synopsis ↬ Jay would do anything to make his parents proud. Prove himself as the successor to his dad’s firm, be top of his class, have the right friends, be the perfect son. So when his parents meet you at a fundraiser they’ve organized and think the two of you are dating, he has to get you on board with his stupid plan. Too bad you just happen to be his most annoying rival.
genre ↬ college au, rivals 2 lovers, fake dating - angst, fluff
warnings ↬ gets very suggestive, implied sex but no written smut, language, food, heeseung is an asshole, rich ppl slander
word count ↬ 22,236
permanent taglist ↬ @mochisnlix @sunoope @heessseungi @forneveryoung (send an ask to be added!)
a/n ↬ this is the sfw version of this fic !!! i thought it’d be nice to have a sfw version of it so that ppl who dont like / dont feel comfortable reading or can’t read smut can still read the fic bc only like 1k of the actual fic is smut and the rest is just the story lol hope you guys enjoy, as always feedback and reblogs are vvv appreciated <3333
« Actually, I think what you just said is complete bull. »
Jay rolled his eyes for the thousandth time in an hour and a few sniggers were heard around the room.
Your tutor sighed and said in an exhausted tone, « Y/N, keep it polite, please. This is still a classroom setting. »
« Right, sorry. » You cleared your throat and sat up straighter. « I completely disagree with your statement, Jongseong. Just because a movie has young teenage girls as its target audience doesn’t mean it is completely insipid and has no value. If you look at Mean Girls, for example-»
Jay scoffed. « Oh please, you’re not actually going to use Mean Gir-»
« Ah, would you look at the time? Class is over, » your tutor interrupted. « You can all go home and ponder the riveting discussion Jay and Y/N led today. »
You were pretty sure you heard a general sigh of relief from your classmates. To be fair, you couldn’t really blame them: it was only the first tutorial of the semester for that course and Jay and you were already at each other’s throats, having something to say about every little thing the other proposed.
Keep reading
i left my friend on read to read this #priorities
THE WEEKEND ! [LHS]
pairing(s): nonidol!lee heeseung x gn!reader genre(s): angst?? fluff lolz, romance, pining, best friends to lovers warnings: curse words, bold & jealous hee >:D a/n: i love lee heeseung and i would love for him to use me as a rug ,, anyways inspired by the weekend by bibi
"just why why why isn't park jongseong into me? i mean i got the hots! what else does he want?" you whine and collapse next to heeseung on your queen bed.
heeseung sighs, getting annoyed with the same and endless complaints that falls from your mouth.
"maybe cause you're a bitch." he remarks, a smirk paints his face while scrolling through his instagram feed.
"oh fuck you," you grab the nearest pillow and hit his arm. "this is why you pull no bitches, and your dms are dry." turning your back to him while hugging the pillow against your body.
heeseung chuckles. he sets his phone aside to wrap an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest and rests his forehead on the back of your neck. leaving you both in a heart-fluttering, cuddling position. only sounds heard was his soft breathing, and the loud thoughts running in your mind.
"you asked the wrong question, y/n." he presses small kisses on your neck, and shoulder. "why why why aren't you into me?"
you tense at the kisses and sudden confession, "what?" you muttered. you weren't sure you heard correctly.
"i said, why aren't you into me? i like you so much, goddamn it." he mumbles against your skin, thumbs rubbing against your hips. “you only call me on the weekends.”
unaware of your very own best friend’s feelings, your heart flutters at the way his lips rest on your skin. abandoning the pillow, you turn around to face the boy who stares at you with sparkles in his eyes. full of love and adoration.
“heeseung..”
his hand reaches over to caress the soft of your cheek, every move was so hesitant. he takes in the beauty of your features, wanting to treasure this precious moment of finally being so close to you. just as his eyes flicker to your lips, he whispers.
“can i kiss you?”
you nod, nothing more than wanting to feel his lips on yours.
he smiles in response and caresses your bottom lips this time. not wanting to wait any longer, he immediately presses his lips on your own. finally, he kissed the love of his dreams.
heeseung was full of smiles and butterflies in his stomach. god, you are so perfect to him.
“now i hope that was enough for you to forget park jongseong because you’re mine now.”
oh for sure, you’ve forgotten about the boy.
because you’re so so so into lee heeseung now.
😔💔
✷ word count : 501
✷ genre : fluff probably ??? idk also 😭
✷ warnings : none
✷ notes : HI I'M SO SORRY I WAS GONE MY mental health is literally detireorating AND I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE IN ORDED TO COPE SO YEAH I'LL BE ACTIVE FROM NOW ON ㅠㅠ
it has been five dates ever since jay told you that he liked you ever since he set his eyes on you in your class, and asked you if he could take you out. you agreed as he had also caught your attention with his kind gestures. the two of you came to an agreement that if you think things would work out, you would be a couple.
you had fun with him after a date at the nearby amusement park. it was his treat, again. not like he wasn't the one to pay in the past dates you've had. you don't really know much about jay, besides him being a really good gamer and dancer, varsity player, and an amazing cook. for today, during your date with him, you had learned so much about jay again, and so was he; he also had learned much more about you. you were so comfortable around him that you unknowingly held his free hand since he was only driving with one.
it was already dark since you spent a lot of time at the park. it was already past 10 in the evening so this action of yours made an unnoticeable blush on jay's cheeks appear, and he was really thankful that it was dark already as he could feel the heat on his face. his impression of you is that you were really reserved, so this small action of yours shook jay and gave him an ego boost at the same time.
"i hope you had fun today. i really love spending my time with you, and i hope you feel the same," jay started a conversation as a smile unknowingly crept up on his pretty face, taking a swift look at you before focusing back on the road to not cause accidents.
"i did, don't worry. i also like spending my time with you. i don't know why, but i find your presence is very comfortable." you respond happily, feeling the blood rush onto your cheeks as your heart pace gradually becomes a little bit faster.
after that small conversation, the silence took over the car once again. but it wasn't uncomfortable nor loud. though you don't consider it as 'silence' since jay's playlist was playing. currently on the highway, the tall and bright buildings had caught your eye. they all looked so stunning and elegant. you surely do admire the look of them. you were still holding jay's hand. then, you started rubbing circles in his hands.
"the buildings look so beautiful," you spoke in a soft manner as you press your free hand against the window, still in awe with all the expensive structures passing your eyesight. this made jay chuckle, finding your innocence adorable.
"what's so funny?" you turn your head in his direction, to meet an ethereal-looking side profile. the soft smile kept on his face after chuckling. it took quite a few seconds for him to reply, before he casually says,
"i own all of them."
notes from space: series masterlist
synopsis: you and lee heeseung have broken up, but not in the best way possible. it was chaotic and full of spite, and both of you didn't talk or make contact since then. he's known to have had flings after your parting, while you kept yourself busy with school. a year later, you've heard from a friend that he was looking for you. once you came to meet him, he looked contrary to what you've expected—detached and hopeless. as someone who still had regards for him, you intervene in the most unconventional way possible—fulfilling a promise you made to him a year ago.
pairing: heeseung x female reader, small jay x reader moments here and there
genre: fluff, angst, exes to (possibly) lovers!au
warnings: mild somewhat excessive cursing, mentions of alcohol (only legal line drinks, def no underage drinking) and drugs, mentions of suicide, violence, mentions of blood, heeseung is a dickhead at first
a/n: finally the fifth installment... i loved writing this so much. the song inspiration for this is very close to my heart—cavetown's meteor shower. please give this bop a listen! also, this fic has some sort of crossover with pluto projector (jungwon's). you can go back to it here for reference! hope you enjoy!
"thinking, 'should I wait here or make my way home?', you said, 'go'."
"you're ignoring me." you spat out, glaring at the burgundy-haired boy who stood pridefully in front of you. his overall posture and expression made you let out a chuckle of disbelief. how did it come to this? "what was i supposed to do, ignore you back?"
you stood face to face with lee heeseung in the middle of an empty but well-lit soccer field. the wind blew in your face, stinging your misty eyes and making you shiver. meanwhile, the lad couldn't bear to return your gaze for the fact that he was guilty of everything that you've told him. would he admit it? no, he wouldn't.
from afar, one would think that the two of you were just having a lovey-dovey moment as closing time nears and not having a stupid fight that was about to tear the tapestry that you've tried to mend for so many times completely.
breaking his silence, heeseung "y/n, i—"
"is that how relationships work for you?" you cut his words off, not wanting to hear any more of his excuses. as much as you hated to remember it, you were taken back to ten minutes ago, when you saw with your own eyes the sight of him making out with the person he told you not to be jealous about—the queen bee, lee soojin. "mess me with that 'i can explain' bullshit, hee."
you didn't just hate cheaters, you despise them. ever since your mother decided to leave your family to become a prostitute and bring men every night even in the presence of your father, you swore to yourself that you wouldn't be associated with one. yet here you are, being failed by the man you expected to change your perspective on relationships. stupid, stupid, stupid.
"fuck it! why do you always have to beat me to it?" heeseung screamed, hands on his head. his voice echoed on the whole field and you hated it. you hated how he didn't want to admit his fault.
he knew he didn't have anything to explain, but he was determined to have the final say. he's the man after all.
"if i don't talk to you for a while, you say shit. if i blow up your phone and ask for your attention, you still say shit." heeseung's words ran like a bullet train—fast and continuous. you were literally scowling at him as he went on with his rambling, disbelieved by the way he twisted your thoughts. not wanting to waste energy fighting with you, he spread his arms in defeat, sarcastically saying "fine. might as well do whatever the fuck i want, then."
"oh, i'd gladly escort you out of my life, mr. lee." i just want the old you back. you let out a loud but painful cackle, jabbing a finger at the exit gates of the field. "we're done." hold me back, hee. stop me from what i'm about to do.
not wanting him to see you break down and look pitiful, you avert your eyes from his gaze, shutting your eyes closed as tears threatened to fall. you were expecting something along the lines of "i'm not leaving you here" or "can we please make this right?", but nothing came.
heeseung's heavy footsteps hit the grass as he trudged to the benches. he spared a quick glance at your back side, following the direction of where your finger pointed—outside. he felt a sense of relief, he did. however, something wasn't clicking.
why was his heart getting heavy with every step farther from you?
he wanted to take one last look at you, but his pride didn't allow him. as if you read his mind, you bellow out, "no, don't look back at me. just, just go."
and so he did.
as his figure disappears on the gates, you finally break down, silently and bitterly wailing. your chest hurt so bad that it almost constricted your airways. sitting helplessly on the grassy ground, you let out a long scream, not minding the staffs hearing you. never did you expect him to turn your back on you or worse, cheat on you as if you were nothing to him. he was your whole world, but not anymore.
how does one move on from someone?
above was the sole question that boggled your mind for almost six months. you had a very good reason to leave and get over heeseung and you know it, but you cannot seem to let go of the once precious memories you've spent with him. sure, he left you a kind of bad impression, but changes were clearly made as you progressed in your relationship.
"sike." you hear your best friend jay muse from beside you, stopping your train of thoughts. with a palm on your forehead, you peer to see the most annoying frown you've ever seen in the world. "you still into that motherfucker?"
you drew out a long sigh, shifting your gaze to a particular corner of the classroom. to say that you didn't feel uneasy sitting on your spot would be a lie. your butt was getting numb and your urge to stand up and sprint out of the room was rising. the air conditioning didn't help you with whatever you were feeling, either.
"what kind of question is that?" you answered in hopes to dodge the very controversial topic about your asshole of an ex. of course, you were still into him. you just didn't want to admit it yourself, because then, you'd be presented with a literal list entitled "concrete and concise reasons why you should enjoy the single life" by jay along with his incessant shouting about how lee heeseung "wasted you."
taken aback, jay clasped both hands on his desk, shaking his head. "i'll take that as a yes, then." he clicked his tongue, not bothering to look at you. the lad can practically see right through you after two years of friendship, and knew you well like the back of his hand. let's also not forget the fact that he has always l—
"can we please not talk about him for a while?" you gave him a grin to show your annoyance. "you like, talk about him more than i do. do you perhaps like him?"
"you know damn well that i don't associate myself with him anymore ever since i've found out that he was treating you like shit." he said through his teeth. you nod, remembering how he landed a punch on heeseung's face just hours after you ran to him crying, how mad he was at his hyung for choosing another girl over you, how violent he became when it comes to you. "he doesn't deserve peace and quiet after this."
doesn't he? you didn't know why you were suddenly curious of his whereabouts, what he's currently doing, how he's been after the breakup. fuck, no. you should be loathing him right now.
"y/n." jay called. "don't tell me you're thinking about that asshole right now."
you snort at your best friend assertively, masking the slight anxiety you felt in your chest. "of course, not. i've had enough of cheating people, jongseong. i swear they ain't shit. nope, don't get me started with my mother—i hate her."
just as you were ranting, jay notices something outside the window of the room. with his two eyes, he spots the person who has been your hot topic for a good ten minutes. lee heeseung. he squinted, anger building up in his system.
"and heeseung? he ain't shit either!" you laughed. y/n, don't eat up your own words. "does the think i'm a piece of land that he can just put crops in and leave it when they grow? hell, nah. not falling for that again. nah, no, nuh-uh."
"don't turn your head." jay mutters, mouth covered by his hands. fighting to urge not to nauseate, he fixed his eyes on heeseung making out with a random girl. on a school corridor? what a shameless fuck.
"huh? what do you mean?" you scowl at jay, turning your head by impulse just to be screamed at and be dragged to a random corner of the room. you found yourself sitting beside jay, whose grip was tight on your uniform sleeve. confused, you shoot him a scowl. "the fuck are you doing?"
"please tell me you didn't see what's outside that window." he replied with a voice almost inaudible. you couldn't tell what he was doing—or thinking—but you found it not normal, so to say.
"no, i didn't." you spat out, suppressing the urge to look over your shoulder and completely disregard jay's words. "did a ghost pass by or something? is jongsaengie scared?" you fake whined, earning a funny reaction from jay.
jay scoffed. "well, are you willing to crush your own world? tell me. come on."
"crush my own world, what the hell?" you blurted out, flicking out your wrist to peek at your watch. "it's 3 in the afternoon. are you planning to trap me here?"
as if you read his mind, jay pulls you by the wrist (again, sadly) and eventually gives up. he grabs your bags with his free hand, and you can see his furrowed brows through his fringe. why is this dumbass getting frustrated?
"don't ask anything." he said in a shockingly deep voice, making you flinch. you gasp as he slings a hand over your shoulders as he's never extended this gesture to you before. "just follow my lead."
"fine, just get me out of this chest freezer."
the two of you walked side by side as jay opens the door, revealing to you the sight of the person whom you didn't expect to see. it was heeseung, locking lips with a girl who you assumed was a freshmen.
as he heard the door open, he straightened his posture up, pulling away from his fling. i didn't just get caught making out by my ex. the two of you lock gazes for a moment, and he swore he felt a cannonball being dropped to his chest.
eventually, he breaks the eye contact with you. you looked so different in his eyes. you looked thinner and taller—more youthful.
and jay? really? he couldn't get his eyes off of jay's arm around you, wanting to break the two of you apart. if it weren't for the freshmen nudging his shoulder, he would've pounced on his former friend and start a fist fight right then and there.
"didn't take you for the young preying type," you hear jay jeer at heeseung with an evident mocking tone. "hyung."
you gape, tapping jay's shoulder. "yah, park jongseong—"
"long time no see, too," heeseung replied curtly, latching a hand on the freshman's waist. "dongsaeng."
the two lads play a short staring game. heeseung's lips curled up in a taunting smirk, to which jay replies by rolling his eyes. the younger breaks the ice, headbutting you playfully. you wince and rub your head as your best friend walks you out of the very awkward scene, and into a safer spot.
you knew you were going to be so screwed.
it has been six months since heeseung's last encounter with you (and jay whom he assumed was seeing you and made his blood boil everytime he sees you two walking together) and he couldn't get it off of his head. we can say he has redeveloped a tiny bit of anxiety whenever you pass by or appear on his line of sight.
he sighed, feeling relieved that he has finally surpassed the very tiring high school, but lives short when he realizes that he has seven more years of education left, and another year of preparation for licensure exams. why did i choose stem in the first place?
the term has officially ended and it was time for your batch to graduate and either continue your college in hybe university or pursue it somewhere else. students in tracksuits were all over the place, either taking pictures with their family and friends, holding bouquets and souvenirs of different kinds. it was a very thrilling transitioning time for everyone.
especially you.
"bitch, we're in college!" jay practically screamed to which you reacted to by placing a palm on his loud mouth.
"have you no idea that there are proctors all over the place?" you nag, retracting your hand to wipe on jay's tracksuit. "you stink, bruh."
"says the one who hasn't washed her hair for days, crying over a cheater." he rolls his eyes at you, flicking the nonexistent hair on his back.
"park jongseong!"
both of you bickered silently, not noticing the group of people coming to your direction. you were practically pulling each other's ears and laughing at yourselves when a familiar voice called your name.
"hey, y/n! jay!"
you turned your heads to see other members of your friend group— jake, sunghoon, sunoo, jungwon, and riki. seeing his two friends holding ears, sunghoon finally burst into laughter.
"is this how you welcome college?" sunoo asked somehow genuinely as you and jay let go of each other, finally calming down.
"hyung, it's just their normal best friend antics." jungwon replied.
you scan the five guys that were huddled up in front of you and jay. all of them were wearing their usual uniforms—sunoo and jungwon in eleventh grade, riki in junior high—except for jake and sunghoon who wore tracksuits that matched yours.
"if you guys need me to lend you money, i didn't bring my wallet today." jay deadpanned, earning exaggerated reactions from the rest of the boys.
"do you really think we came for that?" jake patted jay's shoulder, grinning widely. "naur, come on!"
"so we were thinking..." sunghoon followed, rubbing his chin comically. "since four of us have graduated already—"
"we've planned a year-end party in jake hyung’s house!" riki mused."
"hey, i didn't allow it yet!"
"we're doing it jake hyung’s birthday, though!"
and the bickering continues.
meanwhile, you took it as something that you can use to unwind from all the academic stress and preparation for university. you peer at jay, seeing if you can get a reaction from him. as if he has read your mind, he gave you a thumbs up. guess we're going then.
"so are you guys coming?" sunghoon asked. you nod. however, his next statement makes you drop your jaws.
"i invited heeseung hyung."
you practically freeze in your spot at the mention of heeseung's name. to be honest, you still couldn't tell if you have moved on from him after a year, but just the thought of him makes you want to get out and sprint. jay notices your silence and nudges your shoulders. "you good?" you nod in reply. it's just heeseung. no big deal. he's just going to be there for the booze, not for you.
"oh, well. guess we're not going then—"
"no, we're going." you asserted. you just assumed that it was closure he's coming for. green flag. "i'll be fine as long as you're here."
"yay, noona's coming!" sunoo giggled, the sound calming your restless chest.
"i even stocked up on some soju, you punks! it'll be a waste if you ain't going." jake chuckled.
you smiled, thankful for the people who kept you up no matter how much you wanted to leave everything behind.
guess you weren't so screwed after all.
the 15th of november finally came.
you finally arrive at jake's place, the muffled sounds of edm filling your ears. before you were able to do so, you got into a mini-argument with jay on whether you should take a ride on jay's audi or just grab an uber. your bougie of a best friend would never let you, the reason being "having you in the passenger seat made him less prone to accidents." however, you didn't want to be a bother to him so you declined.
yet here you are, and there was no turning back.
you spot your friend group, and some other people that you haven't seen before. you assumed that they included sunghoon's fangirls, jake's soccer teammates, and others who you were acquainted with. confetti covered the floor and lights of different flashed here and there. it was definitely a party.
you slung your arm over the birthday boy, jake. "happy birthday, mate!"
"aw, y/n. thanks for coming tonight. i know it's been a tiresome week for us."
"bro, i got you a pair of cleats. the nike ones." jay laughed. as expected of your bougie friend.
"soju, anyone?" sunghoon bellowed, bottles of liquor propped in between his fingers. you snatch one from his hand and so does jay.
you twisted the bottle cap open, and immediately downed the content. the liquor stung your tongue and warmed your throat, while the cold bottle cooled your shaking (because of the fact that heeseung might be lurking around) fingertips. you felt happy at that moment, not until you tilt your bottle down and see a tall figure standing in front of you.
"hi."
you almost spit your drink as you heard the voice. you gulped the remaining liquid in your mouth, wiping whatever spilled out of it. "what are you—"
before you can make out a proper phrase, you look up at the person who turned out to be lee heeseung. he stood still in front of you, a hand in his pocket, the other holding a beer can. you'd be lying if you said you didn't find him good-looking. contrary to his usual bushy fringe, his hair was slicked back. he was clad in an oversized flannel and ripped jeans, just like what he'd wear whenever he took you on dates.
"can i help you?" you asked sheepishly, failing to create a tough front. you should've spat it out, y/n. dumb. "why are you suddenly approaching me?"
"nothing much," he shrugged nonchalantly, taking a sip from his beer. "how's life?" she better not be dating jay.
the nerve. you answer him calmly, taking a step back to spare you some comfortable distance. "i don't know, frightening?" you chuckle unhumorously. "college is coming at us like a bullet train, huh?"
"it is." the lad nodded. "you still pursuing law?"
"of course, i am." you replied.
it kind of shocked you that he still remembered your dream profession. of course, he still does. despite of the fact that he has almost destroyed himself doing drugs, smoking, sleeping with different girls, and so much more, he couldn't accept the fact that he still cared for you.
he wanted to forget you as much as you him.
you two share a moment of silence together, one that felt something in between awkwardness and solemnity. awkward, for you didn't want to make eye contact with each other; solemn, for you were finally having a proper conversation after a year. however, something about heeseung felt very unsettling, something you couldn't get out of your head.
you notice him staring into spaces with his obviously gloomy eyes, one which you've never seen before. he'd either be cool or sly, but as of this moment, he looked depressed. you assumed that it was the fact that his parents made him pursue medicine against his will, or the fact that girls didn't want to sleep with him anymore.
"by the way, you haven't answered my question yet." you muttered, catching heeseung's attention. he looked straight into your eyes, and this time, he kept it going. he wasn't feeling awkward anymore. "why are you suddenly checking up on me?"
do i tell her that i actually miss her? the lad shook his head, fixing his posture. "i mean, we're going separate ways now. i just wanted to talk to you for the last time." i don't want this to be the last, though.
"good point." you smile slightly at him. oh, how he loved your smile. "i understand. you want closure, don't you?"
he frowned, fighting the urge to spill all of his guts. he wanted to save all of the serious stuff for another time, when he isn't drunk or high. not now, hee.
however, unbeknownst to you, jay was already fuming up in anger as you and heeseung shared what looked liked a very safe and normal conversation. it's been a year, but he still saw heeseung as a threat to female students, especially you—the one who actually got cheated on. his internal war was broken when a certain person clashed shoulders with him while they were running outside of the house.
"yang jungwon!"
"hey, we haven't even played uno yet!"
"let him be. he's ran off to the observatory again."
he sighed. not wanting to disturb your "closure process" with heeseung, he stood silently in a corner. he was afraid you'd be duped by the "motherfucker" again.
your conversation with heesung continued on for what felt like five minutes. you turned your head to see jungwon running off with his big-ass telescope, and just as you least expected it, certain moments played back in your mind.
"hee, can i promise you something?" you asked as you laid your head on his shoulder. the smell of fabric conditioner from his cardigan filled your nose, and it was very distinct. you'll definitely be reminded of him whenever you'd catch a whiff of it.
"no worries, baby." he replied, patting your head as he found you cute, huddled up against him.
"i promise i'd take you out one day..." you mumbled, gently stroking his arm. knowing that he'll enjoy your proposition, you grin. "to see a meteor shower."
"oh, that's cool—wait, what?"
you laughed, seeing that your assumptions were right. you knew he'd love it. he's been bugging you about it and always tells you that he hasn't seen one in real life. his father wouldn't let him peek out the window, for he was meant to set his mind on studying something he didn't love.
"would you like to?" you asked, wrapping your arms around his waist.
"oh, babe." heeseung sighed, mesmerized by the sight of you. he plants a kiss on your cold lips. "i would love to."
the date is november 15th. it was time for the leonids to give everyone a show un the night sky.
you blinked, shifting your gaze back to heeseung who was opening his second can of beer. hee, i'm only doing this to somehow make you happy. you call his name softly, to which he responds.
"yes, y/n?"
taking a deep breath, you mentally prepared yourself for the worse to come as you extend your arm and reach for his hand hanging from his side. it was cold, rough and boney—not so different from the hands you once held in yours all the time.
heeseung's eyes slightly widen as he feels the firm grip of your hand. i must be dreaming, right? he scanned your face for any signs of fear or hesitation, but there was none of those two in your expression. you were calm and composed, but little does he know that your nervousness was going beyond the roof.
for the first time in a year, you become comfortable with each other again.
"come with me."
"you're kidding me." you shook your head after heeseung shared a story about his near-death experience from a vacation—something that you didn't know of. apparently, he was almost ran over by a two-tiered bus while crossing the road drunk. why was he drunk, you ask? a random girl he slept with took his dinero on hand and left him with what costs like a hundred dollars. "just because of money?"
"i was a mess back then, y/n." heeseung replied, scratching his nape shyly. to be honest, i still am. "give me a break, will you?"
you brought him to the balcony of jake's house, wherein there was a wide view of the sky. there wasn't any cloud around and the stars shone brightly above you. you sat side-by-side with him on a wooden bench, keeping a safe distance from each other. you felt at peace as you gazed at the stars, and heeseung swears he heard you let out a dreamy sigh as you hunt for constellations.
your words kept replaying in his head as he admires you silently, remembering how genuine and warm they were. "you once told me you wanted to see a meteor shower, didn't you?" it bewildered him that you still remembered to fulfill your promise, when you were supposedly moving on, getting over him. nevertheless, he knew he'd risk a possible friendship with you if he spilled out his real reason for reconnecting and making amends—the regret of infidelity.
he definitely had no excuse for cheating on you. apparently, you were too innocent and shy for his liberated self. he thought that if he'd go around and satisfy his lust using other girls, it'd make him feel in peace. however, his actions left him scarred, depressed, and lonely.
there was none like you.
"hee?" you called him by his nickname for the first time, leaving him dumbfounded as he hasn't heard someone call him that for a while. "has midnight passed already?"
it's my agony that has passed, y/n. i'm so glad you're here. "about five minutes more." he answered, eyes glued on his phone screen. "you going home already?"
"what? no!" you giggled, finding his remark funny. "the leonids actually come on the 16th. i'll be here waiting for it." does he not want me to go yet? you stare at his embarrassed expression through your narrowed eyes as you smiled, relieved that he's opening up to you.
you were still having second thoughts on whether or not to fix things with heeseung, but eventually you just settled on making things right with him.
sitting in silence, you gaze at the sky, waiting for the first meteor to drop. heeseung did the same, too. after a short while, you spot a streak of light coming down from the vast, pitch black canvas. you gasped in awe as the streaks multiply bit by bit, your heart swelling with excitement.
"it's so beautiful." you sighed, marveling at the once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon happening above your heads. "are you seeing this, hee?"
"i am, y/n." heeseung nodded, not bothering to blink to miss a second of this feat. the meteors descended in either a split second or slow minutes, and he has spotted them all with his curious eyes.
you turned your head to the lad beside you, smiling gently as he let out interjections of excitement that were so infectious that you found yourself doing the same. the gloom in his eyes were officially nonexistent at this moment, and you felt like he was back to being five.
instinctively, he found his hand reaching yours. in shock of his sudden action, you let out a soft gasp, to which he responds to by finally looking down at at you. he chuckled softly, and it was a sound you'd like to hear another time. on the other hand, he was happy that you didn't protest, that you were okay with holding hands with him. no more grudges, i see.
"y/n."
"yes?"
"thank you." he whispered. "for finally talking to me. for fulfilling your promise even though you didn't have to."
you didn't need any words from him. you knew he was thankful.
after what felt like forever, the shower ceased. the sky was back to being starry and static. heeseung's smile drops, knowing that he'll never share a moment like this with you again. you, however, took this as an opportunity to found a lighthearted friendship, one that's safe and welcoming.
"hey, dumbass, have you seen the—what the fuck are you doing with him?"
jay stood in front of the door of the balcony, eyes lidded and fists clenched. you flinched as he took slow steps towards the bench you and heeseung were sitting on, retracting your hand from the older lad.
i did not just see my friend hold hands with this motherfucker.
you cleared your throat, finding speaking difficult as your anxiety rises. what would he say? is he going to hate me for this? "jay, i—"
"heeseung." jay called, dropping the formalities as he bore a killing stare at the man sitting beside you, who was now displaying a shit-eating grin on his face. your eyes widened as you see heeseung stand up from the bench, sauntering towards the younger.
flashbacks of their last fist fight played in your head as the two men stood face-to-face with each other. it was still clear in your memories—the way jay pinned heeseung against the lockers and pummeled him with angry fists, screaming the words "liar" and "cheater" again and again as you watched in horror how blood flowed out of their noses.
exchanging stares with each other—jay's face contorting in anger and heeseung with a confident smirk on his face, no word was said for a minute until jay decided to break the silence.
"i'll be forward with you." jay seethed, fists finally unclenching from his sides. "i like y/n."
astounded by the remark made by your best friend, you turned your head to him, and it was evident that he wasn't kidding when he pierced a dagger-like gaze at heeseung. since when?
jay had promised himself not to develop feelings for you in the two years of your friendship, but somehow, his methods to only see you as a friend have been compromised. the way you hugged and made physical contact with him without any malice was something that he (somewhat) took to heart, but unfortunately, you fell in love with heeseung once jay introduced him to you. it should've been me.
"jay..." you mumbled, still astounded by his sudden confession.
"what does that have to do with anything?" heeseung replied rather rudely. well, he was thankful that you two weren't dating, at least.
"i care for my best friend more than anything, and you know that very well." jay answered, scoffing after his statement. "what were you doing with her?"
"i took him to see the meteors." you intervened, giving jay a warning look as he took a step closer to heeseung.
"i asked you a question, hyung." jay ignored your answer, fixing his gaze on the elder's smug face. "what the fuck were you doing?"
the night that you expected to be fun and lighthearted was now melancholic and dark. you wanted to sprint outside and go home to cry freely under your blankets for there was so much information to take in, to understand.
"you actually don't need to worry about anything, jay." heeseung snapped, looking over his shoulder to see you biting your nails. his gaze softened. your habits were coming back again. he gave you a reassuring smile, then turned back to the younger lad. "she's right. we just went to see the leonids."
jay scanned yours and heeseung's faces, searching for signs of lying or hiding something, but after a while, he failed. his facial muscles relaxed as he sighed in defeat. i'll never be able to reach her, won't i?
"i never liked the fact that you confidently cheated on y/n, hyung," jay uttered, pursing his lips in hopes to hide the frown developing in his face. "but what can i do? it's evident that you're still in love with her despite all of the girls you've slept with. don't even get me started with all of your suicide attempts and drug consumptions. i personally wouldn't want to go through all of that shit."
heeseung hitched a breath after jay's lament, kind of upset that the lad beat him to it. as if he was turning himself into you, he slowly nodded his head, eyes on the stoned ground as he tried to hide the blush on his face.
"heeseung..." you almost choke on your words, eyes getting misty as you stared at him. he shook his head, telling you to cease from crying. suicide? drugs? he hasn't moved on from me all this time?
"i'll leave you two alone for a while." jay suggested, eventually stepping away from the elder. "just tell me if you still need a ride, y/n. oh, and hyung?"
"what?" heeseung looked up at jay who wore a sad smile on his face. "am i gonna get another 'fuck you'?"
"nope," the younger replied, stealing glances from you as you stood still. "it's actually 'don't fuck up'."
and with that, jay leaves the scene—heartbroken, but relieved. you wanted to hold your friend back and explain everything, but heeseung was already beside you, tapping your back. eventually, you break down, finding yourself crying on his chest.
"i'm so sorry." heeseung stated, feeling his chest tightened as you silently wailed. he didn't get a chance to properly apologize to you for his pride was defying him, and he found tonight as the perfect time. it hurt seeing you cry, but the way you held onto him for dear life has made him suppress all of his emotions. "if it weren't for you, i would've been dead now."
"that's the fucking point!" you wailed, looking up at him. you wanted to leave and be mad at him for his bad decisions, yet you wanted to stay and cry for a little bit longer. his face looked so punchable right now. "i wouldn't want someone to die because of me. what do you take me for? do you really think i'd wish that shit to happen to you?"
"i wanted to forget you, sweetheart." he chuckled bitterly, taking you in his arms and stroking your hair. "trust me, i did."
you returned his hug, arms making their way on his sides. you stood there, no space left in between your bodies as you shared a moment that you didn't wanted to end. you thought about the endless possibilities that might've happened if you turned him down and didn't make a conversation with him—he would've either jumped off a cliff or get himself high on drugs until he died. you hated being a reason for someone's passing.
"i have to tell you something, though." you croaked out, sniffling in between words.
"say it, angel."
you broke the hug, finding his hands and holding them in yours. "i have a flight to japan in a few hours and i have to be home." how i wish i didn't have to leave.
"huh? if you don't mind, why?" he asked. please stay.
you contemplated for a good minute before taking a deep breath and finally answering him. "i have plans with jay. we'll be having a quick vacation."
he sighed, thankful that it wasn't a long thing. but why jay? before he can jump into further conclusions, he just nodded. "i understand. do you want me to drive you home?"
"jay's going to do that for me." you wiped the dried up tears in your eyes. you saw him tense up, to which you assure him by pinching his cheek. "don't worry. the man just wanted to flex his audi."
you laughed together, the sounds in sync—as if the two of you were bound to be together. you took a good look at each other's faces as you did, happy that you were finally able to smile again. you loved him, and he loved you. everything felt perfect.
"i'll wait for you." heeseung gushed, the smile still not leaving his face. "i don't want to rush you into something you wouldn't like."
"thank you, hee." you replied, letting go of his hands and making your way to the exit of the balcony. he was finally getting the hang of what a good and healthy relationship should be. "goodbye. i'll see you in a month."
"take care, beautiful." he replied, waving you a small goodbye.
as you sauntered away, he couldn't take his eyes off of you. you were too beautiful, too good to be true for him. he knew that you still didn't completely trust him because of his past actions, but he made it sure to himself that you'd be the only girl in his eyes—the most beloved one.
he was about to turn around and gaze at the stars, but he hears the sound of heels clicking on the ground and a hand pulling his wrist. in a split second, a pair of soft lips pressed against his.
his eyes widened, not being able to process what just happened as you gently kissed him, eyes closed and breath ragged. he smiled against your lips, returning the favor as he scooped you up in his arms in delight. you yelp because of his sudden action, holding onto his chest as a reflex.
"miss me already?" he taunted, earning a slap on his chest from you. "kidding."
you prop your head on the crook of his neck, feeling the warmth of his body as you feel the warmth of his body through his flannel, thanking the stars for reconnecting you with someone whom you didn't expect to meet again. heeseung pecks your head softly, heart swelling with admiration and love.
guess he really didn't want to die, after all.
"my heart and the earth share the same rule, it starts with love and it ends with you."
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