You Know What I Really Love About It? I Love That Nobody Explained Pat's Feelings To Him, Nobody Told

noh shinwoo. what? i saw that you sent me messages. a lot of them, actually. what if i never saw them? i didn’t care. i just… figured you’d realize eventually. then… were you thinking about me all this time? yes. yesterday, today and probably tomorrow, i will continue thinking about you.

LIGHT ON ME (2021) EP. 13

BBS EP12: The Small Moments (or Attack of the Parallels)

I’ve now watched this perfect episode half a dozen times and keep discovering these small, quiet moments that P’Aof sneaks in between the bigger ones. P’Aof is so adept at layering his narrative; he’s like a puzzle maker revealing small pieces at a time that seemingly don’t fit only for it to form a full and complete picture later. It reminds me of those i-spy/hidden picture books, there’s just so much to look at that you miss out on the tiny details that make the whole thing just sing. He’s also great at crafting the series as a complete journey with many call backs to previous scenes. 

We open with Pat waking up and brushing his teeth. He takes several beats here to stare wistfully at his toothbrush. The first time I watched this I interpreted this as him remembering Pran putting toothpaste on his toothbrush for him. BUT on rewatch, I re-interpreted this as Pat missing Pran and wondering if he’s awake and going about his morning routines too. Then we jump to Pran doing that very thing. It’s a nod to the opening sequence of EP2 where we see them each getting ready for their morning classes. This seemingly small detail is so well done.

In the high school flashbacks we are shown that PatPran have always been looking at each other and still are years later. Pat finally got his man’s attention after so much pigtail-pulling antics, but it’s only more recently that he learns he’s always had it.

When Pat opens the door and reveals Pran, we can see him visibly swallowing like he has to catch his breath or stop himself from reaching out and grabbing Pran. Such a great small detail by Ohm.

The micellar face wiping scene needs no explanation. And that line you’re still the cutest, put your face on my palm I am lit from within every time I watch this scene.

Pran’s I hate you from EP4 compared to Pran’s I still hate you in this episode. We know both times it’s him saying the opposite and Pat knows it now too.

Pat’s come here when he shows Pran the memory board. Another great call back to EP5′s come here. Same words, same intent but different delivery.

Pat kept most of Pran’s emoji lights because he misses him and simultaneously wanted to recreate their college ‘love nest’. He even kept all their post-it notes, what a Pran thing to do.

Their entire duologue about being rivals (this guy with the fierce eyes is Pat/This guy with the dimples is Pran) while standing in front of the memory board is a call back to their first reunion in EP1. Then we see the young versions of themselves standing in front of their respective houses in the same way the grown versions do in both the end of EP11 and in this episode. Magnificient parallels.

The running gag of Pran forgetting his earbuds case and Pran ‘scenting’ his friend/unfriend shirt for Pat. It’s comforting that years later Pat still isn’t over Pran’s smell.

The fake enemies walking towards each other on campus only to hook pinkies as they pass is a great nod to EP7′s “the bet” when they secretly held hands at the bus stop.

Pat bundled in a comforter with Nong Nao in his arms rushing over to Pran’s for a sleepover. Such small yet so complete detailing.

The return to the noodle stand in front of their dorms where Pran orders an extra wonton for Pat to steal. What a sweet call back to EP3 and the hilarious chopsticks duel. Also note that Pran lines up his chopsticks to make sure they’re even. This show is so amazingly consistent with its characterization.

Pat asking Pran when he’ll get to enter his house normally like other people and Pran’s response that’s for other people and Pat isn’t one of them and why would he want to be? Pat has special access, for life. What a simple, perfect response.

In Pran’s room, PatPran sing “Just Friends” to each other while Pran’s parents are downstairs. Such a great juxtaposition to his parents walking in and disrupting their Christmas performance of the same song but now with different results. I can’t get over Dissaya’s quiet smile here and Dad knowingly placing his head on her shoulder saying I’m proud of you honey. I’ve said it before but it’s worth mentioning again, this was my favorite non-PatPran scene of the episode.

The string-can telephone scene on the balcony- how they had young PatPran dressed in the same color scheme and style as their older selves is such a small detail but man does it stick the landing.

Pat singing Same Page when he kisses Pran during their nighttime picnic on Pat’s patio. So many sweet moments in this scene calling back to their competitiveness.

Pat knowing that the first song Pran ever learned guitar chords for is from the band So Cool is such a great call back to EP5. Something Pran probably doesn’t go around broadcasting, but Pat is adorably proud of himself for knowing this about Pran that nobody else does.

PatPran engaging in foreplay and chasing each other in the bonus credit scene was perfection and also is a big nod to their race to their dorms in EP3. 

The background music in this episode was on point. They used so many recognizable songs from the series creating this feeling of nostalgia and warmth, it never feels overdone or formulaic- just cozy and familar, like coming home.

I may go back and do these small moments and parallels for each episode at some point, maybe. In the meantime, you can find my intital reaction on my first viewing of EP12 here.

Top 10 K-drama Actors: Honorable Mention 2 Moon Woo Jin

The main reason why he’s not in my top 10 is because we have yet to see him flourish to his full potential, but I’ve known since The Beauty Inside that’s this kid is one of the most talented actors I’m going to see in my life.

We all know that if he’s listed in a tv show, there’s going to be some tragic past subplot and I can guarantee you, you will cry. That child can cry from his heart and make you cry along with him. And if he isn’t crying, his facial expressions and the way he tells the story will!

Just  to list a couple of his works:

The Beauty Inside: Where he had to act like a grown up actress trapped in a child’s body. Hilarious and a great showcase of his talent.

What’s wrong with Secretary Kim? Where he portrayed the tragic past of  Lee Young-joon (Grown up version portrayed by Park Seo Joon)

Psycho but it’s okay: Honestly, if you haven’t cried in at least one of the flashbacks or the combination of Moon Woo Jin’s acting with Kim Soo Hyun’s, you have my respect.

Come and Hug Me: Once again, playing the child version of the main lead, with an amazing performance. We also get the well known flashback combo of Moon Woo Jin (child) and  Nam Da Reum (teen, btw, I should probably give him an honorable mention of his own, I actually considered putting the combo as an honorable mention). 

This particular combo is also seen in What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim, and pretty much any k-drama where the main lead has a tragic past that is well explored. Nam Da reum also has a bright future ahead of him as he’s headed into adulthood, and I hope I can see him in a lead role soon enough.

In you I trust

Pairing: Tine/Sarawat (2gether)

Summary: Tine didn’t know what to do, how to feel. What he hadn’t realised was that the damage was already done. Years of dating people who didn't want him, getting rejected over and over again just because he seemed disposable had taken its toll. While he seemed bright and confident most of the time when it came to putting himself out there, his self esteem was in shambles. He did love himself and had a pretty good self-image but his ideals on how others should treat him were now a bit shaky. Did he deserve Sarawat? And what must he do to make himself worth it? What must he do to ensure he doesn’t disappoint, to make sure Sarawat doesn't leave him after the first week? (Basically includes all the communication we never got in the series. The one conversation that could have made it better.)

Fic starts here:

Tine looked into his eyes and stared as if he was searching for something. Much like a police officer peering into the eyes of a suspect desperately searching for answers. "Why?"

 "Huh?", Sarawat said bemused.

"Why do you want to be with me? What am I offering you that's so special? I certainly don't think I have done anything of note that could have attracted your attention. So other than being a good friend to you, what exactly have I done?", he asked his tone rising. 

Taken by surprise Sarawat curses himself for not realising sooner that something had been upsetting his boyfriend. "Please tell me where this is coming from", he pleaded, "I want to know just where the heck  all this self doubt is coming from".

His voice strained with trying to keep the tears in, Tine lets it all out. He needs Sarawat to, if not empathize, just listen and answer.

"I got a lot of people just wanting to be with me cause I looked good with them. Like I was an accessory. And the few who I thought liked me, well, turns out I was quite dispensable to them. So far I have never been a keeper. So why are you different? How can I possibly expect everything to be fine when I’m scared that you will up and run any moment?"

 Sarawat who had been staring at the floor contemplatively edged closer towards Tine on the bed. “Okay", he said, taking it all in. "Now it's your turn to hear me out. I like you for a lot of reasons, yes being appealing to the eye was one of them, but of course it wasn't the main reason. You think me, a guy who hasn't ever been in a relationship before, not even a hookup, would want to enter a long term relationship with someone based on trivial bullshit? From the moment I met you I had a feeling that we would click not just as boyfriends but as friends. I knew you would get me despite how weird I am. You have this aura that just makes me feel safe. I don’t know, maybe being an introvert helped me observe the way people behave. Because when I met you it was like I knew you, no, I felt you, the way you are as a person and it made me think 'This is someone I want to be with'. Not because you did something outstanding that attracted me, not because you're a catch and definitely not because you complete me. It’s just… you are free to be yourself around me and I can finally be comfortable in my own skin around you. Don't you think that's reason enough for me not to leave you?

Tine crumpled into Sarawat at that point. Sarawat felt dampness through the front of his T-shirt. “I’m sorry I didn't realise you were feeling insecure sooner" he said to the head sobbing on his chest. "I should have known. I promise to always be here, okay? Anytime you need reminding of why you are special to me I’ll be here.” 

Sarawat  didn't know when his own cheeks got wet and then they were just two boys in a room holding each other as they wept. "Oi!", Sarawat said lifting Tine off him. "Come on let's stop with this melancholic atmosphere."

 Wiping away his tears and then Sarawat's, Tine let out a contented sigh. "Thank you Wat. I needed this. I'll be here for you too, whenever you need reminding that you mean so much to me even if I don't make it evident at times. I'm still learning", he said while holding Sarawat's face, brushing away stray tears. He inched closer, just till he could feel Sarawat's  lips brushing his, and then planted a soft kiss. 

Sarawat broke away, grinning, "You're definitely learning well". "Salaleo! ", Tine exclaimed a similar grin creeping onto his face. 

Saint’s Physicality

Let’s talk about Saint Suppapong’s physicality in acting for a moment. Watch Love By Chance back to back with Why R U? It’s kind of a revelation. 

There are some really good actors in BL and he is one of them. 

But when most viewers say “great actor” they’re thinking about facial expressions and how an actor portrays emotions. 

What Saint has (and very few other actors anywhere do) is whole body physicality. The way he moves it totally different between Pete and Tutor. 

When he walks: where he weights his spine, carries his arms and shoulders, and how he tilts his head is different. Tutor has faster more abrupt movements, Pete’s are more precise and careful. 

When he’s standing, also different. 

It’s actually kind of insane. 

Saint inhabits his own body completely differently depending on the character he’s playing. It’s just really rare to see someone do this. It’s like spy-craft. 

I’d love to see him tackle a seme character or a bad guy. I bet he’d be great more aggressive and agro. 

It’d be fun to see how he inhabits space when he is required to take up a lot of it.

I think Plan has some of this ability too. Look at him in his Until We Meet Again bit part (aggressive, older seeming, stiff) versus Love By Chance (floppy, childish, and uncontrolled). 

But with Plan we haven’t yet got to see him execute this as two different main characters where he has to maintain alternate physicality over time. Although it explains why he’s so great at imitating Tin’s posture and walk in LBC2. (One of my very favourite scenes.)

Nanon's ig story update

– But do you even know him that well? Do you know what he’s like? – Your brother? He’s so picky.

I like you, Theo. I’ve liked you for so long. But I didn’t want to wishfully think someone like you would like me too. You know what? I’ve been waiting to hear that from you. I’ve always liked you. I’ve never stopped liking you. Sorry I kept you waiting. You know? You’re the one I’ve always had feelings for too. Don’t you go far away from me again. So… Can I kiss you? Kiss you as your Enchanté. Kiss you as someone who likes you. Kiss you…