Growing Up Is Just Learning To Deal With Disappointment, Eh ?

Gosh yes this is the mood. The show (and comics which I have just binge read in a day) have thrown me into such an array of confusing feelings, about my teenage regrets, my 15 year old self, my current life, why I am "like this" and how I miss everyone, while fighting for my life to manage my master's thesis deadlines and other things !!!

The story filled me with such a warmth I needed years ago and here, and now, I am completely clueless with what to do with it and most importantly : what to do without it.

being someone in their early 20’s watching heartstopper is such an overall emotional experience. there’s jealousy happiness joy longing regret sadness hope loss and most of all fucking final exam anxiety crushing us while we try to study but can’t because NICK FUCKING NELSON GOT A 62% ON THE BUZZFEED AM I GAY QUIZ.

it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.

Too many leftists are still glorifying work for work's sake. Too many leftists have equated "performing labor" with "moral fortitude."

If your ideal society has no place for people who genuinely, fully, 100% do not want to work, or who can't work, your ideal society is not as ideal as you think. There has to be space for people who don't "contribute," there has to be space for people who don't fulfill some greater "purpose," there has to be space for people who cannot and will not ever be a part of the labor force.

I am a firm believer that laziness does not exist, and if someone is flat-out refusing to do something, there's a good reason for it. That reason could be disability, it could be fear, it could be a lack of education, it could be that they're confused or lost and don't fully understand what they're supposed to do, it could be that they don't have the skills, it could be that they're at their limit and need a break, it could be that the task is uninteresting or not relatable to them and they don't understand why it's necessary, it could be countless other reasons. "They're just lazy" is a cruel assumption that doesn't solve any problems or accomplish any tasks.

But even if I'm wrong, and laziness is real, you can't penalize "laziness" without hitting a lot of disabled or otherwise vulnerable people in the crossfire. You cannot and will not ever create a society in which everyone is a perfect worker. There has to be a way for someone to contribute absolutely nothing to the labor force, but still be taken care of instead of left to needlessly suffer.

anyway I’m feelin out the sadness

Playing the monthly game : "Menstruation or Depression"!!!

hi, I'm back !

A lot of things have happened to me lately : I finished my master's thesis and got my degree with an unbelievable good grade. I turned 23 and got my nose pierced. And last but not least : I'm moving to Germany in September !

This year was a really challenging one, but I'm glad I got through it. I'm currently enjoying my holidays, doing art, seeing friends and trying to survive the dangerous heat.

I'm gonna try posting some new art and tidying things up a bit !

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

Andrea Gibson, "DEPRESSION [VERB]", Lord of the Butterflies

Origin decided I couldn't play The Sims Medieval tonight so guess who stayed till 1 am and drew Keyleeth from Vox Machina!

Pink, orange and blue sketches