I Just Thought Of A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Au Where During Umbara It’s Rex That’s

Clone Wars Headcanon: Rex seeing Fox die

Mmmm just Fox stuck in his mind and he’s attacking Rex and Rex tries to help, begging Fox to stop and break free but he can’t

Rex being put in a position where he ends up shooting Fox to defend himself

Fox having attacked Rex and cut his throat so Rex can’t speak and he couldn’t call for help and Rex was terrified … still is

Rex crawling to Fox and crying, shaking him and Fox is weak and he’s free from the control and he grabs Rex’s wrist and he tries to apologize but the words don’t come out, gurgled by blood

Maybe it’s Cody who finds him or Thorn

Maybe it’s one of the Jedi or maybe it’s no one

Rex is crying, hugging Fox’s body

If he could scream, he would but he can’t and no one is coming and it’s just him in this room with his Ori’vod’s body and he didn’t mean to kill him! He didn’t

Cody being the one to find him eventually, having been looking for Rex since that morning

Terror filling his body and he runs to the bodies and at first he thinks Rex is also dead but the small rise of Rex’s chest is enough for Cody to call a medic

Rex clings to Fox like it will burn him if he lets go and no matter the Vod who keep telling him it’s safe and he needs to let go, Rex doesn’t listen

He can’t leave Fox alone. Fox is his Ori’vod and he still has a duty to protect Rex and Rex doesn’t want him to go because if he lets go, he won’t see him again and Fox isn’t supposed to die and don’t take Fox away from him! Don’t take him away!

Cody prying Rex’s fingers loose and titling Rex’s head towards him and saying it’s okay Rex, you’re safe now. I’m still here

Rex staring at Cody with tears in his eyes and he can’t look away and his fingers tighten against Fox’s body as Cody continues to reassure him

Cody trying not to look at Fox, at the blood that pools around his body. Cody making sure to keep calm because Rex needs him and he can’t breakdown now

His vod’ika is covered in blood and Cody doesn’t know which is his and which is Fox’s and he’s trying so hard to ignore the body under Rex because if he looks, he won’t be able to help Rex and his vod’ika needs him right now

Cody just muttering in Rex’s ear, we need to go. You have to let go and it burns him to pry Rex’s fingers off of Fox but Rex needs a medic and it’s all he could do to lift Rex up and carry him to the medbay

Each step he takes feels like a betrayal, leaving Fox behind but Wolffe and Bly are there, taking care of him while Cody focuses on getting Rex help

Call of the Sea

Chapter 5 - Revelations Read on AO3

Summary: Ashla climbed the ladder. It gave her enough height to comfortably reach over the side of the tank. Rex rose slowly toward her, keeping eye contact as his head broke the surface.

Words: 2629

Warning: physical violence (nothing graphic)

 **********

 One of the men in red and gold livery was waiting for her when Ashla pulled up to Palpatine’s mansion. He opened the front door for her, then followed as she headed for the seascape hallway.

 “This way, miss,” the man said. “He’s in the lab.”

 Ashla’s gut clenched. That didn’t sound good at all.

 The man led her through a new hallway, through a door that led outside to a wide expanse of lawn.

 “What’s your name?” Ashla asked, trying to distract herself from the growing unease crawling up her spine.

 The man gave her a surprised look, then said, “Thire.”

Keep reading

The Truth Lies (In An Unmarked Grave)

On some days, Rex is certain the grief is going to kill him. There's only so much a person can take, and he reached that limit long ago-- reached it, then vaulted straight past it. Echo is alive, and that's fantastic, but... Fives isn't, and he's only the most recent on the long list of people Rex has failed to save. On some days, Rex is convinced that he's just walking wounded, that it's only a matter of time before his injuries catch up to him and put him in the ground.

That's... not what happens. Instead, Rex wakes up with Fives, and General Skywalker years in the past, back before Fives' death, before the Citadel, with their memories of the future intact. Instead, Rex finds himself caught between a rock and a hard place as he tries to save his family, with the constant threat of the Chancellor hanging over his shoulder.

(Ao3 Link)

Chapter 1

After working with The Bad Batch– after finding Echo and losing him again, after punching Crosshair and forcing himself to work with him anyway– Rex finds himself sitting on a log, staring at the bonfire in front of him.

The roaring fire illuminates the darkness of the night sky, and Rex can feel the heat from it on his face, warming up his knees. Despite that, his fingers feel cold around his beer bottle as he stares down the flames, a shade short of tipsy, not quite tipsy enough.

[[MORE]]

He feels… almost isolated, with the way the sky stretches out above him, vast and endless, twinkling stars bright against the darkness of the night. But he’s not alone– far from it, in fact– Jesse’s sitting on his right, and Kix is on Jesse’s right, and Ridge on Kix’s right, and Sterling on Ridge’s right, which brings him all around to being on Rex’s left.

They’re a lively bunch. It’s not quiet around the campfire– far from it, in fact. If Rex felt a little less detached, he knows he’d be right there with them, laughing and joking. But the events of the last few days, months, years, weigh on him, and it’s easier to let himself be mesmerized by the crackling flames than putting in the effort to be engrossed in conversation.

Jesse, however, is not one to be upstaged by a firepit. He leans forward, grins, waves his hand in front of Rex’s face. “Hey Cap,” he says, ignoring Kix’s facepalm. “How do you know if there’s a member of the Bad Batch at your party?”

Rex sighs, looks up at the sky. Prays for some sort of divine intervention.

No divine intervention arrives. Rex sighs, loudly. “How, Jesse?” he asks, half certain he already knows the answer.

“”They’ll tell you,” Jesse replies, and despite the fact that Rex had been expecting that exact answer, he still finds himself snorting at the accuracy of it. “Hey, how would the Bad Batch kill a space snake?”

Rex sighs again, louder this time. He definitely knows where this one is going. “How?”

“They make contact with it, ignore all Judicial Department directives and build a rapport with the snake, train it to kill other snakes, then return to Kamino to file a requisition of GAR resources form and take in the snake.”

Rex… shouldn’t ask. They’re all feeling weird after their last mission, every single Forcedamned clone is a raw nerve at the moment. He really shouldn’t ask.

Kriff it. He might as well ask. “Is the snake in this metaphor meant to be Echo?”

“Of course not sir, Echo was– is about as sneaky as a reg manual to the face.”

“Big words coming from you,” Kix chimes in, taking advantage of Jesse’s temporary distraction to steal his beer and finish it off.

“Kix, I’ll let you know that I’m an ARC trooper, actually,” Jesse defends. “I absolutely know how to be sneaky.”

“Well, since you’re a high and mighty ARC trooper, I guess that means that you’d just kill our metaphorical space snake by accident, and it would turn out that this metaphorical snake was sacred to the people there, and the natborns would then demand the removal of Republic forces from the planet.”

Rex chokes on his beer, coughs as Jesse sputters. Kriffing hell, someone decided to go for the throat today. “Oh, kark off,” is what Jesse eventually says in response, and Kix shrugs, looking all too smug with Jesse’s bottle in his hand.

After he finishes restoring the air to his lungs, Rex finds himself looking down at his hands, letting the conversation fade to a dull roar in the background. He looks down at his right hand, forms a fist with it, frowns. Unrolls his fingers one by one, flexes them once, then twice, then three times. The memory of punching Crosshair is all too present in his mind, as is the memory of liking it. Of wanting to do it again.

For all that he knows that he was made for killing, Rex has never thought of himself as an inherently violent person. But right now, there’s a part of him saying otherwise, a part of him that’s determinedly whispering what might even be the truth in the back of his mind.

He’s realized recently that he’s changing. And it’s because of the war, yes, but it’s also because of other things, and that… worries him. Scares him, almost, though he’ll never admit it out loud. Rex is a clone. He’s not made for change– the opposite, really. He’s been designed not to evolve past his programming.

But Crosshair had said that they should’ve left Echo behind, and Rex had seen red. For a second, all he’d been able to think about was Fives’ anguish at the Citadel, Fives’ grief in the aftermath, Fives’ rapidly cooling body in his arms, and–

Yeah, Rex had punched him. The shabuir had deserved it– deserved worse, an insidious voice inside him whispers.

(Rex at the beginning of the war never would’ve done that. Rex doesn’t know if his past self would even recognize the man he’s become now.)

Anyway, General Skywalker may not have liked that punch, but Kix and Jesse were on his side, and that was good enough for Rex. It had to be.

He glances down at his fist once more, sighs, and picks up his beer again, finishing it off. He probably should get started on those reports and finish filling out Echo’s transfer forms, so Rex opens his mouth to excuse himself when General Skywalker comes out of his tent, holding something strange and triangular, something that’s glowing red, and suddenly–

The world tips sideways.

Dimly, Rex hears alarmed shouts of his own name, feels the beer bottle slip from his hands, but all he can focus on is the nauseating roil of his own stomach, and the way that General Skywalker seems to have lost his balance too, and is clinging to a tree for support. Rex blinks, tries to focus, tries to marshal his thoughts into something coherent, then–

Nothing.

"It was me, Cody. It was me who killed Waxer. I'm almost positive about this..." Rex said quietly // If it's not so too late, oh, lovely Angst Igauana

It Was.... You?

You have awakened something terrible. This idea is exquisitely torturous and Iove it.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Rex hadn't stopped shaking, for days, he'd been shaking non-stop. Even while Cody held him and rocked him in his arms, telling him everything wasn't terrible anymore, he still shook. He still cried and he still wanted to die. The two sat in the barracks, Rex was holding himself as Cody did. The younger brother stared off as the memories flashed through his head, his stomach turning, "Cody, I, I think I know who shot Waxer." He mumbled, eyes not meeting his brother's.

Cody perked up, "What do you mean?" They know who shot Waxer, it was a brother, but it wasn't on purpose and it wouldn't have happened if Krell hadn't been there. "Rex, what do you mean?" He asked again. For a long moment, Rex didn't move, every part of him numb as a hot tear streamed down his face.

"I keep replaying everything in my head and I remember seeing a spot on a helmet, Waxer's helmet." Rex recalled, his voice monotone and broken, "Cody, I killed him," his head at last turned to face Cody, who's eyes narrowed. "He's dead because of me."

"Rex, it wasn't your fault, if you had known-"

"But I didn't!" Rex screamed, jumping to his feet, he stumbled a little as his knees almost gave out. "I didn't know so I shot him!" He continued to scream, causing Cody's throat to run dry as he desperately thought of what to say. "I don't deserve to be a Captain, not when I lead good men to their deaths. I killed so many brothers, I was counting in my head, wanna know how many?" His voice was dry.

Cody stared at his brother, he was sleep deprived, shaky and still in shock. Cody couldn't think of what to say to his poor brother, "Twentynine" Rex inturrupted Cody's thoughts, "I killed twentynine brothers before I realized they were brothers." Rex laughed, tears pouring from his eyes, "Twentynine brothers died by my hand, Waxer died by my hand before I realized, they were brothers."

Cody stood up, reaching out his hand, but just as he was about to speak, a voice cut in. "What did you say?" Both brothers turned to them, Boil. He stood still, "What did you say?" He repeated, taking a step closer. "C-cause it sounded like you said you killed Waxer, d-did you Rex? Kill Waxer?" Boil fumbled over his words. He hadn't been able to sleep, he hadn't been able to breath.

Rex froze as he stared at Boil, he'd never seen him without Waxer by his side. "I did, I killed him." Rex confirmed. Cody shook his head, and as he was about to speak, but found himself cut off yet again as Boil ran into Rex, forcing him against the wall, gripping his shirt collar tightly.

"It was you?!" He screamed, slamming Rex against the wall, "You killed him!?" He screamed, tears of pained rage falling from his eyes, "You killed my brother! My best friend!" He pulled Rex forward slightly before slamming him back yet again. Rex tried to break free, but part of him didn't fight back, for he deserved this. "You killed Waxer, out of everyone it was you?!" He kept slamming Rex back until Cody broke them apart. "You bastard!" He yelled.

"Boil!" Cody screamed as he shoved him off Rex and back, "Take a walk!" He ordered, voice loud and sharp. Rex fell to the ground, sobbing loudly like a child, rocking slightly. "Go-" Cody ordered, watching Boil shake his head, a snarl on his face. He stared at Rex, still shaking his head before leaving the barracks in a rush. Once Boil had promptly exited, Cody turned to Rex and collapsed to the floor next to him, "Hey, Rex, it's okay lil'un," Cody reached his hand out, only to jump when Rex snapped away

"Don't touch me!" Rex wailed as he rocked, whimpering between staggered breaths, "I deserved it! I deserve this!" He continued to ball as Cody felt his own heart crumble at the sight of seeing his baby brother so indescribable hurt. "Leave me alone." Rex whimpered, burying his face in his arms .

"N-no!" Cody blurted as his eyes watered, "I'm not leaving you." He stated, catching Rex's attention as he spoke, for his voice had cracked. Cody couldn't meet the gaze of his little brother, for he was supposed to be strong, he wasn't supposed to cry in front of him.

"Cody." Rex whimpered, becoming more sad that he made his brother cry. "Cody please don't cry, please." Rex begged as he crawled towards his brother, he was frantically wiping his eyes, but the tears were too much. Rex reached his brother and tugged on Cody's arms, but they wouldn't budge "Cody, stop crying," Rex continued to weakly pull his brother's arm as he had when they were young, "Stop crying!"

"I can't!" Cody's head shot up, "I know I'm supposed to be strong enough for us but dammit Rex, I can't take it! I can't take watching you sob and sob and I can't handle the fact that I can't help you or take away your pain!" Cody confessed, face red hot, "You're suffering and I can't help you!" Rex stared wide-eyed at Cody as he thought of what to say, but nothing came in mind. So Rex did the one thing he knew he could, he hugged his brother.

Pulling Cody to him and hugging him tightly. "I love you, Bubby." Rex mumbled, hiding his head in Cody's shoulder and neck. He felt Cody's shoulders drop as his arms wrapped around him, tightly closing his eyes as he held Rex just as tight. "....I know I'm a mess sometimes, you're always there for me, I never stopped to consider that you were a mess too." Rex sighed, his tears finally stopping. Cody whimpered as he rocked the two of them, eyes shut tight.

"It's okay." Cody forced out in a clear tone, "That's what big brothers are supposed to do," Cody pulled away from the hug, he forced a soft smile as he reached out and wiped away the tears on Rex's face, "I'm supposed to take care of you." He stated. Rex reached out his hand to wipe away Cody's tears, he then smiled,

"Doesn't mean I can't take care of you too"

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

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Febuwhump Day 17

Alt. Shrapnel

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from an unnamed fanfic.

The Force suddenly flares in warning, and Anakin looks up sharply to see an explosive – he didn’t see where it came from – flying right towards them. Instinctively he throws up his hands, altering its path, pushing it away from the palace and from the clones.

It crashes down in the midst of the droids, tearing through them, sending pieces of metal flying in every direction. Some of the clones are still too close, though, and he sees several of them collapse to the ground.

Rex.

Anakin’s eyes fall on the captain. He was too close, and he’s injured too, and the droids are heading right towards him, still shooting, and the few others who are injured next to him.

No one will be able to get to them in time. Except for maybe him.

Anakin springs into motion in a flash, sprinting out from behind the cover of the palace, and running towards where Rex is lying. He ducks the blaster bolts fired at him, raising a hand and calling his lightsaber to him from Obi-Wan’s belt.

The blade hisses to life in hands, and he deflects the last few shots away, yanking the super battle droid about to shoot Rex over to him with the Force, slashing it in half. He hastily finishes cutting through the rest of the droids right around him, and hurries over to the captain.

The explosion took out most of the droids, and the others should be able to handle the rest. Deactivating his lightsaber, Anakin crouches next to Rex, looking over his condition. The injury isn’t as bad as he first thought it was, but some of the injuries are much like shrapnel wounds, thanks to the flying metal from the explosion. Some of them are bleeding badly, and he definitely needs to be treated soon.

Anakin looks past him, to the other clones next. He doesn’t know any of their names, but their conditions don’t look much better. He needs to get them somewhere safe. They’re too exposed out here, with all the fighting.

“Don’t worry about us, sir,” Rex insists.

Anakin throws a glance over his shoulder at the approximately two dozen droids remaining. “They can handle it,” Anakin replies moving to help Rex into the palace.

“I’m not technically on leave.” Rex says, shifting uncontrollably on his feet, “Im just waiting for Anakin to return from his meeting with the Chancellor.”

“You totally have time to hang out with us then!” Cordé replies excitedly, and something about her brilliant smile makes him slightly nervous.

“Well-“ Rex begins, but Sabé cuts him off.

“Oh come on, live a little,” Sabé says, pushing his shoulder, “A little rebellion is good for you, healthy even.” Her tone is sincere, but there’s a wicked grin across her face and a glint in her eyes.

“Fine.” Rex caves, “but if General Skywalker comms me, we leave right away.”

“How about right away-ish?”

-The Right Hands of Amidala, a sequel to Right Hand of the Republic

I’m finally working on this again bc I’ve got too many good Rex jokes and I’m giving them to Sabé-

Hnnnng I told myself I'd restrain myself, bit I can't XD Can you do Oh No or Double Trouble for Rex XD I know those were in my ehhh 'list' XD

Thanks for the prompt! This is the last of these I’ll be doing, so please don’t send any more requests in! I got way more than I expected to get, which isn’t a bad thing at all and I’m super grateful for (and surprised by) all the requests I got, but now my brain is like “why are you doing this to me.” Thank y’all!

Double trouble— character is sick and injured

Rex hadn’t meant to let the cut on his arm go untreated for as long as he did. It was difficult to get things treated in the midst of endless battle after endless battle, and Rex hadn’t had time to go to any of the medics to get it looked at. It was a pretty long gash, but not very deep, so Rex figured it would probably be fine.

He didn’t really like the way that it was getting red around the edges and was hot to the touch, though. That didn’t really bode well, but it probably was fine for a little while longer. He’d get it looked at after this next battle. Ignoring the way his arm twinged with every movement and the waves of nausea that coursed through him with every step, he continued on with his duties and led the men from the very front as he always did, General Skywalker by his side.

Getting slammed against a wall and then falling off a short ledge in the midst of battle certainly hadn’t been in his plans for the battle, but it happened nonetheless. He heard someone yelling his name and jumping down into the small crevice he’d found himself in, but he was too busy blinking back stars and ignoring the way his arm was screaming at him to pay attention to who it was. Now his head hurt a lot, and he realized that his helmet had gotten knocked off at some point during that whole ordeal. Opening his eyes ever so slightly, he found himself looking up at Anakin’s worried face.

“Go back to the men, sir, I’ll be fine,” Rex managed. His stomach decided then was the time to do some flips, and he barely managed to roll over in time to throw up. His arm screamed in protest, and one of his ankles felt like it was twisted, if not worse, and he was somehow both cold and hot at once, but he’d be fine.

“Sith hells, Rex, you’re in rough shape,” Anakin said, obviously ignoring the fact that Rex had told him to leave.

“Sir, the men—“ Rex began as he rolled back over onto his back (with a little help from Anakin, although he didn’t really register that fact).

“Will be fine with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka in the lead. I’ll help take you back to camp and to the medics, and help them with anyone who got injured along the way, okay? There’s no way you’ll ever make it there on your own,” Anakin said, holding out a hand for Rex to take. Rex begrudgingly took it, but realized a moment too late that it was the wrong arm. He bit back a scream when Anakin pulled him up, causing Anakin to look at him in concern.

“What all’s hurt?” Anakin asked, using the force to call Rex’s helmet to him.

“Ankle, arm, head, nausea,” Rex muttered, “Not all of that’s new.” Anakin lifted an eyebrow at him but didn’t comment on anything, instead using his real hand to feel Rex’s forehead.

“And you’ve got a fever, Rex!” Anakin exclaimed, “Yeah, no way are you going back to that battle.”

Rex merely grunted in response. Anakin warned him that they were about to jump out of the little crevice they were in. Rex nodded, but as soon as they lifted up and landed, he nearly threw up again. There was a rushing behind his ears, and he gasped as pain overtook him. He could vaguely hear Anakin talking to him before he passed out.

Rex woke up to a very unhappy Kix standing by his bed, tapping this foot and looking at Rex expectantly.
“Why, pray tell, did you not get that cut on your arm treated when it happened?” Kix demanded.

“Let a guy wake up first, Kix,” Rex muttered, gingerly sitting up in his bed, grimacing when his arm flared a little, along with the way his ankle protested at the movement..

“It got infected. Do you know how difficult it is for things to get infected with all the medical technology we have? If you’d taken 5 minutes to come get it looked at, it would’ve been fine, and I wouldn’t have had to fight for your life over something that was entirely avoidable,” Kix scolded, “Infections are deadly if they aren’t treated, Rex. If you hadn’t been injured out in the field today, by the time you came to finally get it checked, it may have been too late. We might have had to amputate your arm.”

Rex paled at the realization, eyes going wide. He really hadn’t thought it was that serious, but he certainly wasn’t the medic in the room.

Kix sighed and smiled at him kindly, “I’m just worried, is all, captain. I don’t mean to sound cruel. Just stating the facts. You’ve gotta take better care of yourself.”

Rex nodded, “Sorry, Kix. I won’t let that happen again.”

Kix smiled at him again, “I know you won’t. Now, General Skywalker was worried sick about you and I’m sure he’ll want to talk for a little bit. Should I let him in now, or let you sleep a little longer?”

Rex paused and sighed, “I suppose let him in now.” Kix went to go fetch the general, leaving a glass of water by Rex’s bedside.

Anakin came in not long after, going straight to Rex’s bed.

“I’m glad to see you looking much more… alive,” Anakin said as he sat down, “You passed out after I jumped out of that crevice. I had to carry you the whole way back— you are heavy!”

“Most of that’s the armor, probably. Adds about 70 pounds or so,” Rex said with a smirk, “But sorry about that, sir. You shouldn’t have had to leave the battle field because of one man.”

“When will you get it through that head of yours that I do that because I care about you guys? I would’ve done it for any of you. After I got you back here, I went back and helped with some of the other injured,” Anakin said, stroking his chin thoughtfully in a way that was reminiscent of General Kenobi, “We Jedi should do that more often.”

“I’m sure it would mean a lot to the men if you did,” Rex replied, “It’s not a horrible idea.”
“Ah, that’s basically saying ‘I love that idea’ in Rex-speech, so I’ll take it. I’m gonna go check on some of the other men— just try and take better care of yourself next time, okay? I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t with me. Probably go insane,” Anakin said, smiling and patting Rex’s shoulder as he drifted off to the next patient. Rex settled into his bed with a smile and slipped back into an easy slumber.

Many years later, after the Battle of Endor was won, Rex would find out from a certain blond-haired Jedi exactly what Anakin would do when Rex wasn’t with him.

Okay so idea for angsty fic with Fiyero actually shooting Glinda in the cornfield. Meanwhile Elphaba doesn’t know that Glinda is hurt and is casting the spell trying to save Fiyero who manages to escape (he’s traumatized). Glinda is declared “dead” becomes a martyr. But, somehow Elphie’s spell affects her and Morrible works some magic that has surprising effects on Glinda

Whumptober Day 7: The Way You Shake And Shiver

Prompt: Shaking Hands & Silent Panic Attack

Warning: Mentions of Suicide

Summary: Rex isn't doing so great when they're finally on their way back to 000 from Umbara...

[Sometimes in moments of weakness we turn to old coping mechanisms. Whether that's a good thing or not is up for debate... Sometimes it makes it easier to lie to yourself that something broken can still be fixed.]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

---

Before Fox had given him his name, Rex had made a list of options just like every other cadet in his age group. It was almost a tradition for most young clones who still only had their numbers. The task of compiling potential names that may one day suit them in some way, shape, or form.

None of the ones he'd considered had ever stuck.

He'd been rather unsure of himself (the sole golden haired child among a sea of dark curls), often made to hide behind his batchmates. Keeli and Jek had both found their names quickly, and they'd been quite indecisive themselves. But they'd never been as nervous as he had been, so finding something to claim as theirs wasn't hard for them in the slightest.

They knew who they were.

Rex thought he knew who he was. A king with a crown of gold growing naturally upon his skull. A fellow misfit among the CCs that had adopted him. Fitting of a title that had his ori'vod beaming with pride. Fox had made him believe he was a leader.

Fox was a very good liar.

The trip back to Coruscant is a slow one. Umbara long gone from their radar, but still closer than home. Its darkness following the vode well into the flight. The hollowness behind their eyes... It makes his stomach twist and his heart hammer in his chest cavity like there's a parade in town. For once in his life a campaign has left Rex unable to think.

Or rather, unable to process the sheer horror of what he had witnessed. What he had let happen. What he had done.

Little Force Gods what had he done?

So many brothers dead. So many brothers left for dead. So many more dying inside.

He swallows thickly around the lump forming in his throat, and stares ahead unblinkingly. Watching the blue-tinted lines of hyperspace zip by as he considers what's to come, while a voice in the back of his head that sounds suspiciously like Keeli whispers for him to take deep breaths, to start counting.

If he counts it'll help ground him. But does he want to stay grounded? When there is too much going on right now?

Three troopers have eaten their own blasters before departure from Umbara. The death tool rising steadily. Many more might follow. Will follow. The guilt is killing them all, and he doesn't know how to help.

They should be incapable of breaking. Should be impervious to diseases of the brain. But Krell has left an infectious mind. One that makes it hard for Rex to breathe even in the safety of this ship.

His eyes sting, his chest hurts, his heart is breaking into a million pieces, and there's a good chance he might throw up.

His hands are shaking. They shook back on Umbara too.

Dogma's hadn't.

He comes back to in the refresher. Jesse and Fives are at his sides. They look shaken and tired, and a little of something else Rex can't identify right now.

Angry? Disappointed?

Disgusted with their oh so great captain who couldn't even take the shot himself? Who'd let so many brothers die needlessly when he could have acted immediately and avoided disaster?

The thought makes him vomit up more bile. Salty shame runs down his face, snot bubbles up in his nostrils, foamy sick lands in the toilet. Rough but gentle hands rub at the small of his back. He knows whatever relationship he had with both Jesse and Fives is strained now. Justifiably so. But they still have his back. They're holding him through a panic attack.

He counts each circle, each finger on his back. Then counts the murmurs he can hear. Then the instances where he hears Kix at the door, checking up on them. Making sure he's not going to eat his blaster like the others who just couldn't bare the guilt anymore.

Counting helps. It helped back when he was a cadet. It still does now.

He can't for the life of him recall how many names he'd compiled before he'd been given his own. Maybe someone else knew. Rex doesn't think he knows anything anymore. But he has to move on, regardless of what happened on Umbara.

He had to believe in the cause.

Chapter 4 Summary:

Still recovering from the Blue Shadow Virus, Rex attempts to convince Kix that he's practically fine. Unfortunately, his body didn't get the memo.

Chapter 4: Rex

“You know, everyone else is still taking it easy, sleeping the day away. You could stand to actually relax for half a rotation, sir.” Kix said as he approached the Captain’s medbed. Only three days after being infected with the Blue Shadow Virus, Rex was already trying his patience with how often he ignored basic common sense. “I thought I said you were on bedrest for the next week.”

The Captain flinched, attempting to subtly slide his datapad under a nearby pillow. He opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out was a cough and a squeak, at least until he lowered his voice into a whisper. “I, uh, was just checking mission reports. Didn’t want to be unprepared for my weekly briefing with the General.”

As a virtually extinct plague, very little information existed on recovery from the Blue Shadow Virus, but Rex had quickly learned that laryngitis was part of the package. The first day hadn’t been too bad, and he’d been able to power through a quick debrief, between attempts to cough up a lung. He’d slept through most of the second day, but during his brief lucid moments, he’d been asking for updates on the other troopers, and had been attempting to discuss troop movements with the bridge before Kix confiscated his comm. 

Now on day three, his voice was paying the price. At best, he sounded like a 6th year cadet, and at the worst, he sounded like a dying frog. Jesse was never going to let him live it down, after coming in for an update and nearly falling over laughing when he heard the Captain’s voice.

“Uh huh, and when exactly is this weekly briefing?” Kix asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Tomorrow.” He croaked, sniffling and attempting to look at least a little put-together, but he still looked pale and sickly; if Kix didn’t know better, he’d be worried Rex was on the verge of falling off his medbed in a dead faint. 

Kix huffed, “Do the words, “A week of bedrest,” mean nothing to you, sir?”

“Yes, but I figured that four days was enough, given that I’d be released the following day anyways.”

A vein in Kix’s forehead started to pulse. “Not five days, one week. Not that “business week” nonsense the Senate’s always trying to pull.”

“Oh, four days, then.” Rex raised his chin defiantly, resolutely ignoring how his voice cracked like a cadet when he responded. 

“7 days!” 

“I’m hearing two days.” Rex countered, muffling a cough before going back to reading his datapad, like the matter was decided, despite the fact that he was still running a low-grade fever and had nearly thrown up from the force of his coughing not two hours ago.

Kix shook his head emphatically, emotion suddenly filling his voice. “No. Not in my medbay. You could’ve died, sir! I-If anyone deserves a break, it’s you, so stop running yourself into the ground and rest! Please.” 

Rex’s eyes widened. The last time Kix had truly raised his voice at him was back on Saleucami, after learning he got into a firefight after being benched for taking a blaster wound to the chest. 

“Kix– I-I…” His voice broke. He tried to respond, but his next inhale became a painful cough, and then he couldn’t stop. Chest spasming, his damaged lungs struggled to compensate for the sudden lack of oxygen, and his vision started to darken at the edges.

As a competent medic, Kix quickly took action, helping him into a sitting position for better airflow. He rubbed his back, glancing worriedly at his vitals. “Easy sir, take a slow breath.” 

“T-Trying,” He bit out, wheezing as his coughing finally subsided. If he’d had the breath to do so, he would’ve grumbled when Kix broke out the dreaded oxygen mask, but as it was, his shoulders slumped in relief when he could finally breathe again. He sat there for a moment, leaning heavily on Kix, trying to keep his heavy eyelids from closing.

“You alright now, Rex?” Kix asked softly, one hand still rubbing his back in slow circles.

Rex nodded, head lolling slightly. He whispered again, not wanting to further aggravate his throat. “-’m good… thanks, Kix.”

Kix sighed, fond exasperation bleeding through as he commented, “You know, whispering is actually worse than talking, for laryngitis. If you want to stop sounding like a cadet, you should really take a break.”

Rex opened his mouth to respond before thinking better of it, nodding reluctantly. Kix smirked, getting up from where he’d sat on Rex’s medbed, taking the Captain’s datapad with him. 

“Good. Now, lay down. You are going to rest, and you are going to like it!” He ordered, only a little amused when Rex grumbled something that sounded an awful lot like, “Sir, yes sir.”