~spotify On Shuffle~

That was the strongest version of myself. This isn't the first time I was put in such as a situation. But this is the very first time I have braved myself to stand up and face it.

Because I was scared. I was scared of the answer I might be hearing. The thoughts as 'what if the problem was with me?' 'What if I have offended them with my words or actions', 'if more than two person are doing the same thing to me, then the problem must be really with me right?' All these thoughts stopped me from asking the all those questions I wanted to ask that many people. Because I didn't want to hear that I didn't gave my all into that friendship.

But, why do I have to cry over someone who stopped the friendship because her mother said so, someone who stopped the friendship following her friend, someone who stopped the friendship to move into better school and have better friends, someone who stopped the friendship for no fucking reason or because I chose to do a simpler question, someone who stopped the friendship because I wasn't up to their standard, someone who stopped the friendship because I was quiet.

Is that my fault you chose to be selfish and when you fail to understand everyone is different?

I gave you my all I our friendship. I laughed with me when you were happy, I was sad when you were crying, I was listening to you when you had problem, I said yes when you needed an help, I supposed you against my mom, i said just so you won't be sad.

i did things I am not okay with just because you said it would be fun, I wanted to make memories with you.

I came out of comfort just so I can be with you. Because we were friends.

But the prize I received in the end was to cry my eyes out every night.

All those days I cried to God asking why i couldn't have even one friend, am I that bad of a person, I forgot to thank him for removing undeserving people from my life. All the tears I dropped wondering why I am living such a lonely and cursed life, I forgot to realise that it was the better life than living not as yourself for the satisfaction of others.

I finally realised it today, a friend would never turn their backs on you for a simple mistake you made. And I don't need such friends too. Who expect me to change myself for them. Because I am never going to change myself. For a third person.

You don't leave a friend because you don't like the mistake she was making. Instead you correct each other and grow together.

Dont keep mood spoilers with you 😒

GE15 - 19/11/2022

This day cannot be any worst 😞

I hate myself for crying over someone who doesn't know how to appreciate me. I really hate when I do it. I deserve better. Not someone who comes to me only when they need something. I really deserve better. I wish I know that. I wish myself can realise that and stop crying for God's sake. They don't deserve your tears. Please, respect yourself Loweena.

I won't say that I'm happy with your decision. I will also never say that I hate you for the decision you made. Because I believe you know your life and your dream so well than me or than anyone else. I believe that you know what you are doing and you are doing it for yourself. For yourself only.

All I want to say is I may not be happy with your decision but I will always support and cheer for you in your life. Because you are one of them who made me laugh when I don't even wanted to smile. The jokes of yours that made me laugh, the lessons I learnt from you, the time I spent with you and the memories we made together I will never ever forget them in my life. There were sometimes I wish it could be great if I too have the same attitude like you. But during those times you proved me that there can be only one like you. That's the reason why you were loved, being loved and will be loved by a lots of people.

As a friend and as a well wisher i would like to wish all the very best for your future endeavors. Be yourself and dont worry about what other might think. No matter how hard it gets, be brave and face it. I hope you'll always remember me like i remember you. All the best and I'm surely gonna miss you. Lots of love from me 💕💐

Hwaiting with your new life. Begin the new chapter of your life with a smile... oops! with a laugh on your face like you always do. Love you 😘

Why do you do that Loweena? Why are you keep on believing in people? Let's stop. Atleast now. We need to safe ourselves.

🚩Looking for friend!!

Hey there! I hope you're having a great day. Which I hope I'll have soon. The reason I'm writing this post now is because I am looking for a friend. I'm sick of waiting for a miracle, hoping that my friend will surely appear in front of me and we'll have the great time of my time. I'm tried of spending my time alone with no one beside me to create memories or share the memories with me, to laugh with me and to be there when I am having a hard time. I no more want to be jealous of other who have friends, who go together everywhere there are going, or eat together or celebrate each other's birthdays together. Thus, here I am looking for a friend. At least an online friend. Below are about me:

Name: Loweena

Nationality: Malaysian

Age:21

Zodiac: Capricorn

Characteristics: Willing to change myself, as long as you stay as my friend. I just need a friend. Anyone. From anywhere. From any age. It doesn't matter. I can be your friend.

SLIDE TO DM IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN BECOMING MY FRIEND.

There are days I want to get back to my safe nest as soon as possible at all cost. There are also days I don't want to go back to that place yet. And that day is today. I would like to go out to see the world and return as late as possible. I wish that miracle would happen and make me smile today 🤞 And I really wish I had a friend

Whenever you look at a person and think how selfish can a person be there'll be another person to show you that they can be even more selfish. That's how life works.