I Love Reading Stuff That Makes Me Sad

i love reading stuff that makes me sad

hey! can i get an angsty tom holland one? where they are both famous actors and they got in a fight before a red carpet event and they have to act like they are fine until one can't stand it anymore and decides to leave? ends with a fluff 😊 thank you! ❤️

A/n: I wrote this whole thing in one go, didn't proofread it and it turned out pretty long. I hope you enjoy it, and my heart actually ached while writing it

Warning: Angst, anxiety and panic attacks, angry Harrison and Harry, fluff

Requests are still open

Red carpet

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"I can't believe you! As if I would cheat on you", you yell as you and you boyfriend, of three years, left his hotel room. The argument has started really small, but carried on for about a week and now, on the day of the Far From Home premiere, it reached it's boiling point.

You met Tom through Harrison, because you have been Harrisons neighbour since you could think, causing you two to be best friends. Eventually you both got into Brit School, were you met Tom and Tuwaine and formed a friendship.

And for the longest of time, Tom hadn't had a problem with jealousy or anything, why should he, his best friend and girlfriend were best friends. There's nothing better than that.

But over the course of the last weeks, Tom grew jealous of your and Harrison.

It started with the fact, that Tom had to do more reshoots than you, leaving him at set for the most days. Now you and Harrison on the other side had plenty of spare time to fill, because you couldn't leave the city or go home, in case you were needed on set. But you guys didn't really plan on leaving anyway, you had missed spending time together, sure you lived together and Harrison was Tom's assistant, but he was also very busy besides that. Harrison worked for Tom, meaning he was always near him. You played the part of Tony Starks daughter and therefore didn't have as much screen time or shared scenes with Tom, as you had in the other MCU movies, leaving you mostly alone on set, friendwise.

So when you saw the opportunity to spend time with your childhood best friend, you took it, and so did Harrison. You guys went out for lunch together, went on walks with Tessa and started watching that new Netflix series. "Soon we're gonna watch you on Netflix", you teased and nudged him. His ears turned a bit red and he waved it of, but you knew he felt proud of himself, as did you and Tom. Harrison was the last to finally get his deserved role on screen and you were more than happy to celebrate.

While you and Harrison enjoyed your time catching up, Tom grew frustrated. He would come home late and find you and Harrison on the couch, looking a movie or playing some board game, you would always call him to join you, but he never wanted, he felt like he intruded. Then, on some days he would finish reshooting way earlier than expected, he would call one of you and ask if you wanted to go out for dinner, but almost every time he got shot down. "I'm sorry, Tommy. If we had known you would finish earlier. we would have waited for you, but we just got home from eating out", you apologised and promised to prepare something for him to eat when he got home. Other times he would call Harrison and ask if he wanted to hang out on set, because he had a break, before staring to shoot again. "Sorry mate, I'm on the other side of town with y/n. We're at this vintage flea market and would probably need an hour to get to you, especially because I keep losing her in the crowd", Harrison explained and Tom waved it off. But internally he was starting to doubt himself, what if you liked Harrison more than him and always dumped him on purpose? He chided himself, no he could hear the background noises in Harrisons call, you guys were really somewhere busy, but a part of him always nagged at his thoughts, 'maybe they both are gonna leave you'. His tired and overworked brain, made him come to assumptions he would usually never come to.

So when the day of the premiere rolled around, he was already on edge, tired and secretly insecure. You on the other hand were excited, Tom spent a lot of time working on this film and was usually so tired he would fall straight into bed, as soon as he got home. But now, that everything was wrapped up, he could maybe have a little more time for himself and relax.

"Zip me up please, Love?" you ask Tom and turn, slowly Tom walked up to you, he muttered something under his breath that you didn't catch. When he was done, you turned around and smoothed his suit over. "What did you say? I didn't catch it."

You could see Tom fighting with himself, thinking over what he should say, "Are you alright, Tom?", you asked, as he didn't answer. He breathed out, "I asked, if I really should be the person doing that." You laughed a bit confused, "Doing what? Zipping me up? Who should do if not you? Harrison?", you laughed, not being serious, why would Tom even question that. But when Tom didn't laugh with you, you stopped and furrowed your brows.

"Maybe he should! Spent all your time with him anyways", he spat and turned around. Where did that come from? You walked up to him, still a bit amused, that Tom is actually jealous of his best friend, but you didn't show it. "Are you jealous Tom? Why would you be jealous, Harrison's my best friend", you said calmly, but he spun around, anger clear in his eyes, "Maybe I wouldn't have to be jealous, if my girlfriend would actually spent her time with me! If you wanted to date him, you shouldn't even have started dating me!", he seethed and opened the door for you, you guys were always late, for everything and your argument didn't help this time.

That's where you were now, on your way to the car waiting for you.

"I can't believe you! As if I would cheat on you", you tell, but as soon as the elevator door opened and the paparazzi waited for you, every evidence of an argument was gone. Tom held your waist and shielded you from the masses of paparazzi swarming you. You both smiled politely, laughed and paused quickly for pictures, before getting in the car. But as soon as the car door closed, the mood shifted so much, that the driver rolled up the window between you guys and him and that was all Tom needed to continue the argument.

"Well it's not as if you haven't given me a reason to think otherwise! What were you only with me to get your big break or something?" You were speechless and deeply hurt. You truly didn't know where he was coming from, from your point of view, Tom was just unlucky with his timing.

You and Harrison had called him every other day, asking if he wanted to go grab lunch with you, but he was busy, which you understood, it was his movie. So the one day you didn't call, was when he was done earlier, but you and Harrison had already been out eating lunch. And when you guys were at the flea market it was just bad luck, you had been begging Harrison for ages to go there with you, you both loved fashion, and you used to go to flea markets with Harrison when you were younger, so it was some sort of tradition you guys had, and it was easier to go out with Haz in such a crowded place than with Tom, but when Tom called, you both felt pretty guilty. He now had to spent his break alone, but there wasn't really anything you could do. When he got home this evening, you wanted to show Tom what you bought, you even managed to pick some pretty cool things for Tom as well. Like some vintage Spiderman shirt or a new leather jacket, but he just told you he was to tired to look at it, promising to do so in the morning. But when you woke up the next morning, he already left, claiming he needed to be on set earlier.

"Excuse me!?", you cried out, even though you tried to avoid it, tears started to form in your eyes but you couldn't let them fall or the whole world would see you were crying and you didn't need this sort of rumours, when you didn't even know what was happening. "I would never cheat on you! Especially not with Harrison, he's like my brother.", you argued, blinking rapidly, Tom only scoffed, "You're not even defending that you only use me for fame!"

"I'm not using you for fame. I'm with you, because I love you, you twat. And just so you know, I was casted as Tony Starks daughter, when Spiderman wasn't even in the picture yet."

The car stopped and just before the door opened Tom said, voices laced with venom, "Go cry to your new boyfriend about it."

Your breathed hitched and you felt a lump forming in your throat, but you couldn't answer, because the door was opened for you and you were greeted with flash lights and shouts of your name.

You quickly put on the best smile you could muster and waved to the fans and the press. Toms arm wrapped around your waist felt wrong and you wanted to recoil from the touch.

You didn't hear anything, but your own blood rushing through your ears, and your breath got erratic. You didn't wanna be here, you wanted to leave and hide under your blanket. You wanted Tom to hold you, but at the same time you didn't, his touch right now didn't feel comforting like it usually did on a red carpet, to help you ease your anxiety. You felt his touch like an ice cold burn and your cheeks started to hurt from smiling so bright. Every time you laughed for the camera, you made sure to squeeze your eyes a bit, to make it look more genuine, but doing so only caused the risk to let a tear fall to go higher.

You finally reached the part of the carpet, where Harrison and Tom's family stood, your own family couldn't make it. As soon as Tom saw his parents he let go of you and walked over to them, but your sight just got worse, tears clouding your vision. Harry looked to you a frowned, he could probably see that something was wrong, because the two of you spent a lot of time together, when both Harrison and Tom were busy, he often took you out for shooting sessions and your Instagram feed has been blessed due to his pictures, but he had also witnessed one of your anxiety attacks first hand, when the two of you were out once. He nudged Harrison, who immediately saw that something was wrong, he rushed over. The smile on your face was slowly crumbling, but you couldn't break down crying here, for the whole world to see. You only saw Harrison when he was close enough to you. You wanted nothing more but to hug him, but that wasn't something you could do, the press would love it and that would make Tom even madder and as soon as he would touch you, all your walls would come falling down. Harrison reached out to you but you shook your head, you couldn't speak, as soon as you would open your mouth a sob would leave it.

It was getting harder to breath in your dress, it was dark red to match Tom's suit and now it felt like it was suffocating you. Harrison saw that you were having a panic attack, "should I go get Tom?", he asked, but stopped in his tracks as you shook your head and looked everywhere but to him. Harrison understood, that something must have happened between you and that you couldn't hold your mask for that long. He nodded to Harry and Tuwaine, and they both moved, so they would shield you from the press, but made it look like they stood there by accident.

Harrison looked at you worriedly, you still felt like you couldn't breathe. "Listen y/n/n. I know you wanna leave, but you can't just yet. I don't know what happend, but you can't show it right now. But breathe with me okay, then we see how we continue", Harrison said softly. You knew he spoke the truth, you couldn't leave. He helped you calm your breathing till it was easier to breath, still everything in felt wrong and you could feel Tom's glare on you, and that was almost enough for you to break down. "Listen, Tuwaine and Harry are gonna move now, smile and then you can walk down the carpent alone, down to the building. Yeah?", Harrison asked and you breathed in a deep breath, "you gonna walk with me?", you asked, your throat dry. Assistants or manager could walk behind an actor, with some space between them for the pictures and guide them down the red carpet.

Harrison shook his head, "Sorry, gonna have to walk with Tom." You nodded, it made sense, Harrison was Tom's assistant.

"I'll go with you", piped Harry up and you smiled thankfully. "Gonna glare at all those reporters, so no ones gonna want to talk to you", he joked and a giggle slipped past your lips. You didn't catch the thankful nod Harrison gave Harry. He nodded and started to guide you down the carpet. And he actually spoke the truth, you had to speak to only a handful of reporters and that not for too long.

You soon reached the cinema, where you all would watch the premiere and you dreaded thinking about sitting the whole movie next to Tom. Your breathing started to quicken up again, you now thought about what he said to you in the car. 'Go cry to your new boyfriend about it.' Does that mean you guys just broke up? Did he throw three years of loving you away, because he was jealous. Your vision blurred again and you had trouble catching your breath, "Harry", you whimpered out. He understood immediately, looking out to the carpet, Harrison and Tom just started walking down the second part, you were one of the first inside. Harry pulled you around a corner where no one would walk past. You had no a full blown panic attack, trying to breath, but not catching your breath. "I'm gonna open your dress a bit, okay, so you can breath easier.", Harry asked and you nodded. Harry threw his jacket over your shoulders, still standing in front of you and opened your dress. The jacket helping to prevent someone seeing you with your dress open. As soon as the dress was open you could breath better, but tears were now running down your face.

Harry wanted to start calming you, just like you explained him to do, he asked you about it after witnessing your panic attack and didn't know what to do. But you cut him off before he could even start.

"I think he broke up with me", saying it only made it worse and more real, but you repeated it again, more for yourself, but Harry still heard you. Seeing someone he looked at like a big sister cry made Harry's chest ache.

"No, I'm sure it's something you can talk about again.", Harry tried to assure you, but he wasn't sure himself, he didn't even know what happened.

"Do you want me, to drive you home, after the movie?", he asked softly and you nodded, knowing Harrison probably couldn't leave Tom's side for the day.

Soon the first persons started to enter the cinema and Harry zipped up your dress again, "Oh no, I probably look like mess", you said, you didn't want the press or Tom see you like that. Harry looked around and saw the person he was looking for.

"Hey Vanessa, come over", he said once said girl was in hearing distance. She was your make up artist for red carpets and would usually only powder your nose, so you wouldn't shine on the pictures, but as soon as she was you, she knew you needed a bit more. But with no questions asked she began to save your make up.

She was done at the same time Tom and Harrison and the rest of the family entered. You thanked her and she smiled, before walking away. Harry had already taken his jacket and before you started to walk towards the rest, you pulled on Harry's sleeve, "Do Harrison and I act like a couple?", you asked quietly, afraid he would confirm Tom's thoughts. But Harry just frowned confused. "No? You act like me and Sam do. I can't even imagine you two as a couple. Why would you- oh." He understood why you were asking, he understood where all this trouble came from. "He's wrong, you know. And he knows it too."

You couldn't concentrate on the movie, only on the boy next to. Tom didn't speak to you while you waited in the cinema and he didn't spoke as soon as you sat down next to each other. He didn't touch you either and you didn't know if you were glad or hurt.

Tom could see Harrison and Harry talking before the movie started, but he didn't hear them. He saw that you were hurting, most likely had a panic attack the whole carpet, but he didn't find it in him, to help you. In his mind he was the one who deserved to hurt. But he felt guilty, knowing public events weren't your strong suit, he had noticed, that Harry and you disappeared on the carpet.

"He took her inside", Harrison remarked as he saw Tom looking through the crowd. Tom didn't answer, "Are you going to tell me what all that is about? Why you left her alone on the carpet?" Tom rolled his eyes and smiled for the camera. "Shouldn't be my concern. She's your girlfriend." Harrison would have laughed, if he didn't know that Tom was being serious. They started to walk down the carpet. "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't tell me you're being serious. She's my little sister."

Tom just internally rolled his eyes, as he couldn't do it for real, while all the cameras followed him.

In the cinema he didn't even look at you. Deep down he knew, as soon as he would, he would cave and he couldn't have that. The further along the movie went, the more Tom realized, that maybe, he could be wrong. He spared one glance at you and saw how furrowed your brows were, as if you were forcing yourself to look at the movie. As he looked down to your hands, he saw they were curled into fists so hard, that they turned white. He knew this was something you did to force yourself into calmness. He also knew, that would leave marks on your palm, which why he normally would take your hands and kiss them if he saw you doing that. But not now, he willed himself to stay angry, though his reasoning for that became less and less serious. He thought, that he could talk to her at the after show party and he also knew he had to apologise to Harrison.

After the movie there was a lot of chaos, people came and left. A lot of people wanted to talk to Tom, his cast mates came up to him and he lost sight of who he was looking for. He thought he would see you in the car, since you arrived together, you should leave together to get to the after show party. But Tom drove alone, he thought you would probably go and drive with Harrison and his mood soured, of course you would.

He arrived at the party and saw Harrison talk to Sam and he went over to them. The mood shifted and everyone in their circle noticed. "Where's y/n?", Tom asked as calmly as he could, but his jealousy seeped through. Sam raised his eyebrows at his brothers voice, "What? You didn't know?"

"Know what?", Tom snapped, "About her and Harrison? Yeah I know!" Sam rolled his eyes and Harrison clenched his jaw before speaking, "You're such a dick sometimes, you know that?" Tom raised his hands in mock surrender, "Oh I'm sorry, was that supposed to stay a secret? What you wanna tell me she's not here, getting you a drink?", Tom asked.

"She's not here you twat", said a voice behind him, Harry came, still adjusting his bracelet he got at the front door, "She's in your hotel room, crying her eyes out, because she thinks you hate her and broke up with her." Harry spoke calmly, though it was clear that he was both angry and worried. The other boys also looked worried as Harry spoke.

Tom looked like he wanted to wanted to go, comfort you, but he swallowed it down and looked to Harrison, "What? You don't wanna go comfort her? You spent all your time together anyways." "Yeah! Because you were working and I missed my childhood best friend and it's not like we didn't want you. Every time we asked you waved us off. Y/n got so worried about you over working yourself, that she booked a vacation for you two in a few weeks. Are you even listening to yourself, she's your girlfriend, she loves you."

Tom shook his head, not wanting it to be true, because of it was true, he would have fucked up big time.

"She fucking broke down crying in the cinema, because she thinks you broke up with her, and then she asks me, if her and Harrison look like a couple.", Harry raged, "They look like best friends since kindergarden if you ask me", Sam and Harrison nodded, "Tom, you want to marry that girl and now you get so worked up over something stupid you made up in your mind." "Do you really think, I would steel your girl. Low Tom, really fucking low.", Harrison said and the hurt in his voice was clear. If Harrison already felt like this, how were you feeling? Tom's mind started to swirl, he crouched down, head in his hands.

"Oh, I fucked up, I fucked up" the boys looked at him, "Tom, get up." But Tom didn't move, he repeated the same words over, till Harrison pulled him up by the shoulders, "people are looking, get a grip. Yeah you fucked up, ho make it right.", snapped Harrison. Tom looked at his best friend, "Haz, fuck I'm so sorry. I don't, I..I don't know what I was thinking. Fuck I'm sorry. I'm so stupid", Tom cried out, desperate to get his friends forgiveness. But Harrison just looked at Tom, "Yeah welcome back to the land of the thinking, you were missing for the last few days. Apologise to y/n and then we see where we stand."

When you arrived at your and Tom's shared room you broke down crying

Forgetting Harry was still with you, you immediately unzipped your dress and let it fall to your feet, before walking over to your bedside. Harry looked away respectfully, the art on the wall suddenly very interesting. You pulled on the shirt you always slept with and sunk to the floor, hyperventilating. You had realised that you were wearing Tom's shirt and that made your heart ache, thinking to yourself that maybe that's the closest you will ever get to him again.

Harry rushed to your side and held your face between his hands. "He hates me", you choked out, feeling like there was a hand squeezing your heart. You wanted to scream, but couldn't even get a good breath. Your fingers wrapped around Harry's wrists. Needing the feeling of someone holding you.

"No, darling. He loves you, he's being stupid. Harry held you for a good fifteen minutes, always calming you down again, "He said he wanted to marry me. Now he wants nothing to do with me", you said with a broken voice as another sob left your lips. Harry comforted you, his frustration for his brother grew stronger. "You guys will get married, don't worry. He's just an idiot", Harry promised you, and made it his inner mission to help Tom see his mistake. "You should go to the party", you mumbled after some time. Harry was reluctant to leave you, but eventually caved.

Leaving you alone, you managed to get on the bed, but crawled over to Tom side. The pillow smelled like him as did the blanket, so it felt like a warm hug. You sobbed again, you wanted Tom, not just his pillow.

You fell asleep eventually, you don't know how long you slept, but you woke up with a hand slowly combing through your hair. It was still styled for the carpet and you still had your make up on. When you opened your eyes you saw Tom kneeling beside you. You quickly sat up, trying to move back to your side, trying to mumble a quick apology, never meeting his eyes. His hands gripped your forearm.

"No you don't have to move. Just listen", he pleaded. You saw the hurt in his eyes and you wanted to console him. You didn't say anything and Tom took that as a sign to continue.

"I'm such a dick, y/n. I never meant any of those things I said. I was stressed and grew insecure and stupid. I was so jealous, because I didn't get to spent time with you that I thought you didn't want to spent time with me. And then I thought, you and Harrison could be together, because at least he has time for you. I'm so so sorry. y/n. Darling please look at me", he begged for his forgiveness, tears stung in his eyes, and your cheeks were already wet from crying so much.

"Tom, you hurt me", you whimpered and Tom's head snapped to look at you, "I thought you hate me and want nothing to do with me. I love, I never, never would cheat on you", you sobbed and wrapped you in a hug, causing you to sob harder.

"I'll never hurt you like that again. I know I hurt you and I fucking hate myself for it", Tom's voice cracked and tears poured down his cheeks. "I love you so much. I'll never let you go never. I promise."

You nodded and finally felt his lips against yours again.

That night you slept clinging to each other, Tom still in his suit, only took off his shoes and you still with your make up and hair done. But at least you were together again.

And Tom vowed himself, when he woke up the next morning and softly started to remove the make up from your sleeping form, that he would never ever hurt you like that again.