Emo-nightmare-without-the-emo

“there are many children in afghanistan, but little childhood.” 

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the “sincerely, me” scene is completely about jared and evan’s relationship and @ me about it

they’re actually alone and in the same place for once and we see evan acting more at ease and unfiltered than at any other point, unflinchingly showing the kind of behavior he later denies when trying to act like his own notion of his Ideal Self (“i don’t even think things that aren’t nice”), speaking up without hesitation / arguing with jared rather than trying to avoid all conflict as he otherwise does so often, slowly gradually getting into the flow of things as jared writes

similarly, jared actually enjoys engaging with evan while evan’s being this way, and he’s actually having fun and becoming genuinely engaging in the email writing as they go on

they’re getting the inspiration from the material from Somewhere, and since evan didn’t actually ever have this kind of close friendship or really know connor at all, his ideas for what the content should be are based on his ideal concept of himself and his ideal concept of what a friendship should be like, which, the relevance of that to him and jared is Right There

nobody ever acknowledges it but jared has also gotta be projecting his own desires onto this story they’re creating. evan’s probably dictating his half of the emails but imo the strong implication is that connor’s emails are all jared’s creations. he’s aware of how little either of them really know about connor and is never trying to fill in these blanks / make assumptions about who connor was, and yet it’s a bit unlikely he’s just constructing this “evan’s best friend who was totally close to him and it was all great” material on the go from like, thin air. he’s playing off of evan’s material and responding to it with dialogue to suggest caring about evan and enjoying their relationship and their interactions. if you stop and consider that jared has real thoughts and feelings beyond the front he puts up and filter he uses, it’s Right There that jared is using those real thoughts and feelings as inspiration to create an adequately convincing Exchange Between Evan And His Close Friend.

while evan and jared and RPing this close friendship with each other via Fake Evan and Fake Connor, they both get more in sync with each other. i mean for example you have the writing come to a halt while they argue back and forth about whether it can be gay, whereas towards the end evan throws in another No Homo and connor, aka jared, just seamlessly rolls with it at that point

speaking of, jared is out here saying he thinks the idea of The Love That One Man Feels For Another is beautiful. yeah he says “some would say there’s something quite beautiful” but since when is jared ever Not assigning his own feelings to a theoretical third person. everything he says is totally “i’m a closeted high schooler” and he’s really out there pushing to write an RP with evan as his secret lover. everything that seems gay about Sincerely, Me is thanks to jared, because he is in love with evan.

the fact that jared gets so enthused as the fake exchange they’re writing—which is supposed to be an exchange between Evan’s Best Self and Evan’s Best Friend but is actually an indirect exchange between evan and jared—really gets into a flow, that by the end he’s enjoying writing the emails when just before he was all Are We Done Yet

this is such a high point for them that jared spends the rest of the play wanting to recreate more of this sort of interaction with evan, if you don’t believe me believe will roland, and also the content that’s right there in canon as jared keeps chasing evan’s attention however he can for the rest of the play, e.g. getting on board with tcp, engaging with him in ywbf like he does, offering to be more involved when evan says they don’t need him, inviting him to hang out, throwing out the Truth of how evan’s benefitting from the situation b/c he knows it’ll make evan pay attention to him and it does, tfw you’re just casually willing to do anything for the chance of getting to have a good time interacting with your boy again, nbd

i’ll say it again and say it anytime, re: his own contributions to the emails evan is just further constructing this fantasy of Not having to feel alone, and jared is getting to play the part of “a friend who is close to evan,” and everything that seems gay is due to jared being in love with evan; this song is kleinsen because canon is kleinsen, thanks

“sincerely, me” as a title is obvs a Good One cuz it’s all full of lies but also b/c both jared and evan are so rarely truly Sincere. including here, since in terms of “these are real emails and things were really like this” they’re being dishonest, but as an exchange between evan and jared in which they use their own thoughts / ideas to write the material, they’re getting to channel their own desires in a way that’s more honest than usual, since the idea that they’re Only Pretending actually gives them both the opportunity to feel safer actually being more open with their feelings about how Being Close With (A Friend)/(Evan) should ideally go

if “sincerely, me” isn’t about jared and evan’s relationship then explain why the reprise juxtaposes with the earlier scene to show how their relationship is now very obviously fragmenting further. that’s all the scene is about. jared is wanting evan’s attention, now outright putting himself in the emails just to be that much more Obvious, then trying to make evan jealous about nonexistent other friends, then offering to help with tcp in other ways, then reminding evan that his dating zoe is weird b/c it’s thanks to evan pretending to be connor’s friend, then reminding evan that maybe he’s doing other messed-up self-benefitting things re: connor’s death, and that maybe he shouldn’t be brushing jared off over and over. and even after all that jared’s risking it all and outright inviting evan over just to share an empty house and drink. and then being driven away by seeing zoe kiss evan. it’s all very heterosexual.

sincerely, me is about jared and evan’s relationship okay

it gives jared stronger motivation to want to have more time and attention from evan

is evan ever more Genuinely Himself than when he’s alone with jared?? showing these parts of himself which he later hides to pretend to be a “better” version of himself, talking about how nobody would like him if they knew What He Was Really Like, meanwhile jared sees this more honest and genuine and less “”nice”” version of evan and likes it so much that everything he subsequently does is about trying to continue that experience and be closer to evan? Hmm? what’s that??

jared continuing to do the emails for evan and the only thing that makes him refuse is feeling personally rejected by evan? the last thing that happens before their fight in gfy, the breaking point for jared if you will, is seeing zoe kiss evan? Hmm????? and then when evan next interacts with jared, jared is upset enough to actually stand his ground and directly push back, almost directly state his feelings???? what’s that?

jared is in love with evan actually and sincerely, me is as much about this as it is about informing us “so yeah they wrote the emails btw”

@ will roland: divulge the lore!! we need your help

kleinsen is THAT real

Evansville Press, Indiana, February 5, 1912

Harry: *looking with wonder at the Marauder’s Map* Is that really…?

Fred: Dumbledore.

George: In his study.

Fred: Pacing.

George: Does that a lot.

Harry: So… what do the other professors do in their spare time?

Fred: Well, we’ve seen Flitwick’s dot hopping up and down in his office loads of times… figured he had some hidden passion for aerobics, but turns out Peeves just likes to drop his wand onto shelves he can’t quite reach.

George: Then there’s Snape. Creeps about at night quite a bit, which isn’t a surprise, but after we noticed him in the Trophy Room a few times, we went down one night to see what he was up to. He was changing your dad’s name to “Rotter” on all his Quidditch awards. 

Harry: HEY!

Fred: No worries, we set them right whenever he does it.

George: Man’s got to have a hobby.

Fred: Sprout sleepwalks, we reckon. Watched her bumping into the greenhouse wall for a half-hour one night. Lupin goes for a long jog in the Forbidden Forest once a month, it’s a bit odd. 

Harry: And McGonagall?

George: You know old mum. Standard stuff. Classroom, office, Great Hall one minute… 

Fred: …climbing the drapes, chasing birds, tipping over cups in the kitchens the next.

*eternal screaming*

A unicorn but with an eye where its horn should be and horns where its eyes should be.

you weren’t a “well behaved” child you had anxiety and were terrified of conflict

sharing a dorm with one of the Weasley brothers is probably dreaded because they’re great and everything but to share with one Weasley is to share with them all

so like

when Bill gets to Hogwarts no one knows this yet. he gets on well with his whole dorm. he talks about his siblings a lot

so it’s not that hard to figure out in third year when there’s a red-haired kid reading a dragon book on Bill’s bed in the middle of the afternoon (no Bill in sight) that this must be Charlie. but then suddenly the third year boys have this first year in their dorm all the time. and all he ever wants to talk about is dragons

they get used to Charlie though, he’s a good kid, as as the terms pass it’s as normal to find Charlie lounging on Bill’s bed as it is to find Bill there. they’re always running into each other’s dorms to grab clothes and steal each other’s books and stationary. if anyone can’t find one of them in their own dorm, the first place they check is the other’s

and then there’s another one. Percy’s not like Bill or Charlie, he doesn’t immediately make himself at home in their dorms. it’s not actually until about five weeks into his first year that one of Bill’s roommates walks into his dorm to find the kid sniffling on Bill’s bed, scrubbing tears from under his glasses and for some reason clutching a rat. the roommate backs out and goes to fetch Bill. later, when he ventures back in, it’s to find all three of them sitting on Bill’s bed, little Percy tucked under Bill’s arm, eyes dry, laughing at something Charlie is telling him

after that it’s much more common to find Percy in one of his brothers’ rooms. he likes to read Bill’s advanced spellbooks and hound Charlie about doing his homework. and his first-year roommates think it’s kind of cool, even if they’re a bit nervous at first, that a fourth year and a sixth year come by their dorm sometimes (Oliver Wood is in raptures over meeting Charlie Weasley)

when the twins come it gets much more dangerous to share a dorm with any Weasley. their own roommates, their brothers, and their brothers’ roommates all get pranked a lot and take it with varying levels of good humour 

and when Ron comes it’s the same, the twins are there to prank him and his roommates and Percy is there to bark at his brothers about getting out of bed and doing their work and they’re all in each other’s rooms to borrow clothes and quills and steal snacks from each other

and then Ginny comes, and she seems to be the exception. none of her brothers can go to her dorm anyway, and it takes a long time for her to work up the courage to try getting into the boys’ dorms. it’s not until her fifth year that she does, storming upstairs to shout at Ron about something

and suddenly it’s just like it always was

why did we stop drawing ridiculous looking sea monsters on our maps after we chartered the world's oceans. what did you do to my boys.