If U Ever Wanna Hit On Me Pls Be Obvious I Am Stupid.

society if women were seen as people

Audio please 🔉

tumblr should just let apple remove them from the app store. closed ecosystem.

If you ever, and I mean EVER think that you fucked something up royally, remember that the organizers of the 1904 Olympic marathon:

- Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course

- Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual fucking rat poison

- Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries

- Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open

- Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track

- Fucked the other competitors up SO BADLY that Tom Hicks—the guy who ate RAT POISON and was HALLUCINATING the entire run—came in first place

rate people i do not find attractive and i’ll try to guess your type

This is so cute

Who are people you ship Lee Jordan? What headcanons do you have for them?

lemme tell ya about how much i love Fred x Lee my sweet sweet anon:

- so Fred George meet Lee on their first day of hogwarts. 

- at the Gryffindor table right after the sorting Fred and George come and sit on either side of lee and introduce themselves with identical grins and then start with the witty banter (and making fun of percy)

- Lee is sitting there laughing the whole time (and feeling really special that these two larger than life non-stop people have decided that he is gonna be their friend)

- on the first night at Hogwarts they are all super buzzed cause W o W there is a whole freaking castle to explore and because of that there must be a heck load of mischief to get up to

- in their first class they bust in late all three of them: Fred with an (apparently) apologetic grin, George with a terribly repressed smirk, and Lee with a crooked smile 

- (this is one of the only times they get away with it because ‘we are so sorry sir we got lost’ can actually be believable when it hasn’t been used every day of the week before) 

- within the week Lee can tell the twins apart (finally there was to be no more “haha we gotcha i’m actually Fred”) 

- basically their friendship keeps growing and growing as friendships do 

- then one day someone asks Lee how he’s so good at telling the twins apart and he stops and thinks for a second cause really he can’t quite put his finger on it

- he tries to explain the subtle differences in appearance to the person inquiring but he’s distracted by how they both ‘feel’ different 

- George was like squinted eyes of concentration,and bursts of laughter, and being always prepared to either hug you or kill someone for you 

- and Fred was (wow) Fred was just completely different he was fast and passionate talk (that would always make butterflies erupt in Lee’s stomach), and prideful ‘dare me to’ eyes (that always made Lee’s heart lurch), and utter faithfulness, the kind of person you would trust with your life (which Lee obviously would without hesitation) 

- and shit… was Lee in love with his best friend? (one of them anyway)

- then later that week in the common room Fred is sitting there staring at Lee’s hands (cause gosh they are gorgeous) and he decides it’s about time that he talks about this mega crush cause it’s eating him alive and cause it’s the Fred Weasley thing to dive head first into everything he says “hey Georgie, ever think you might have kind of a thing for Lee? cause ya know I’d relate.” 

- George doesn’t even look up from what he’s doing to respond: “mate, I don’t but I freaking know you do” completely chill about it (even though inside he is screaming ‘FINALLY’ and is super happy cause he knew all of last’s weeks talk about Lee’s love life and offering to find him a quality love interest had perhaps kicked Fred’s sorry ass into a realisation about his feelings) 

- at first Fred is all ‘why didn’t you say something?’ and then ‘wait.. George do you think he likes me back?’

- and George finally looks up, sighs the biggest sigh, and fixes Fred with the most deadpan, tired look and says “of freaking course he does and in fact i’m getting bloody sick of the two of you pretending like you’re not utterly head over heels for each other so please, brother dear, for the sake of my sanity - piss off and do something about it.” 

- Fred just stares for a moment at George, then summons his courage (cause if he’s gonna ask out Lee it’s gonna be smooth), and walks over to Lee who is trying to actually do his transfiguration homework (and because of that he has to be located a strategic few feet away from the twins) 

- Lee sees Fred coming out of the corner of his eye and his stomach erupts (as usual) and he thinks okay today I’m gonna tell him cause I’m damned sick of all of this. He properly looks up from his essay when Fred sits down on the couch beside him and is met with a pointed smirk from the red-head

-”hey Lee, do you think I’m cute?” and Lee is like well this is not what I was expecting (and of course I think you are cute are you crazy?), but frick how do I respond to this, and then he catches a glimpse at George doing frantic miming that seems to heavily involve a heart shape and kissy faces and Lee thinks what the hell (hoping George doesn’t think that it’s some kind of joke)

- “Actually Fred I’ve always thought of you as some one who was more… unbelievably sexy.” 

- Fred almost blows his smooth demeanor with a mixture of laughter and shock (and also sheer giddiness cause - Lee! thinks he’s… sexy!?) 

- “Wow… um, good, so since we got that cleared up, did you want to maybe go out on a date sometime?” 

- and of course Lee says yes 

- and of course they celebrate with a kiss (which seriously was worth the wait but also at the same time not at all because as Fred will often point out they had wasted a lot of time not-kissing when they were ‘just friends’) 

- and of course after they kiss Fred returns to his twin a little pink in the face with the widest grin and says “Guess what - Lee thinks I’m the better looking twin.”

(and I got fully carried away and could write another entire thing about how they are freaking adorable in a relationship but I shall stop (for now…))

Psst, trans people being mean or inconsiderate doesn’t mean you get to misgender them. That’s still transphobia.

the “sincerely, me” scene is completely about jared and evan’s relationship and @ me about it

they’re actually alone and in the same place for once and we see evan acting more at ease and unfiltered than at any other point, unflinchingly showing the kind of behavior he later denies when trying to act like his own notion of his Ideal Self (“i don’t even think things that aren’t nice”), speaking up without hesitation / arguing with jared rather than trying to avoid all conflict as he otherwise does so often, slowly gradually getting into the flow of things as jared writes

similarly, jared actually enjoys engaging with evan while evan’s being this way, and he’s actually having fun and becoming genuinely engaging in the email writing as they go on

they’re getting the inspiration from the material from Somewhere, and since evan didn’t actually ever have this kind of close friendship or really know connor at all, his ideas for what the content should be are based on his ideal concept of himself and his ideal concept of what a friendship should be like, which, the relevance of that to him and jared is Right There

nobody ever acknowledges it but jared has also gotta be projecting his own desires onto this story they’re creating. evan’s probably dictating his half of the emails but imo the strong implication is that connor’s emails are all jared’s creations. he’s aware of how little either of them really know about connor and is never trying to fill in these blanks / make assumptions about who connor was, and yet it’s a bit unlikely he’s just constructing this “evan’s best friend who was totally close to him and it was all great” material on the go from like, thin air. he’s playing off of evan’s material and responding to it with dialogue to suggest caring about evan and enjoying their relationship and their interactions. if you stop and consider that jared has real thoughts and feelings beyond the front he puts up and filter he uses, it’s Right There that jared is using those real thoughts and feelings as inspiration to create an adequately convincing Exchange Between Evan And His Close Friend.

while evan and jared and RPing this close friendship with each other via Fake Evan and Fake Connor, they both get more in sync with each other. i mean for example you have the writing come to a halt while they argue back and forth about whether it can be gay, whereas towards the end evan throws in another No Homo and connor, aka jared, just seamlessly rolls with it at that point

speaking of, jared is out here saying he thinks the idea of The Love That One Man Feels For Another is beautiful. yeah he says “some would say there’s something quite beautiful” but since when is jared ever Not assigning his own feelings to a theoretical third person. everything he says is totally “i’m a closeted high schooler” and he’s really out there pushing to write an RP with evan as his secret lover. everything that seems gay about Sincerely, Me is thanks to jared, because he is in love with evan.

the fact that jared gets so enthused as the fake exchange they’re writing—which is supposed to be an exchange between Evan’s Best Self and Evan’s Best Friend but is actually an indirect exchange between evan and jared—really gets into a flow, that by the end he’s enjoying writing the emails when just before he was all Are We Done Yet

this is such a high point for them that jared spends the rest of the play wanting to recreate more of this sort of interaction with evan, if you don’t believe me believe will roland, and also the content that’s right there in canon as jared keeps chasing evan’s attention however he can for the rest of the play, e.g. getting on board with tcp, engaging with him in ywbf like he does, offering to be more involved when evan says they don’t need him, inviting him to hang out, throwing out the Truth of how evan’s benefitting from the situation b/c he knows it’ll make evan pay attention to him and it does, tfw you’re just casually willing to do anything for the chance of getting to have a good time interacting with your boy again, nbd

i’ll say it again and say it anytime, re: his own contributions to the emails evan is just further constructing this fantasy of Not having to feel alone, and jared is getting to play the part of “a friend who is close to evan,” and everything that seems gay is due to jared being in love with evan; this song is kleinsen because canon is kleinsen, thanks

“sincerely, me” as a title is obvs a Good One cuz it’s all full of lies but also b/c both jared and evan are so rarely truly Sincere. including here, since in terms of “these are real emails and things were really like this” they’re being dishonest, but as an exchange between evan and jared in which they use their own thoughts / ideas to write the material, they’re getting to channel their own desires in a way that’s more honest than usual, since the idea that they’re Only Pretending actually gives them both the opportunity to feel safer actually being more open with their feelings about how Being Close With (A Friend)/(Evan) should ideally go

if “sincerely, me” isn’t about jared and evan’s relationship then explain why the reprise juxtaposes with the earlier scene to show how their relationship is now very obviously fragmenting further. that’s all the scene is about. jared is wanting evan’s attention, now outright putting himself in the emails just to be that much more Obvious, then trying to make evan jealous about nonexistent other friends, then offering to help with tcp in other ways, then reminding evan that his dating zoe is weird b/c it’s thanks to evan pretending to be connor’s friend, then reminding evan that maybe he’s doing other messed-up self-benefitting things re: connor’s death, and that maybe he shouldn’t be brushing jared off over and over. and even after all that jared’s risking it all and outright inviting evan over just to share an empty house and drink. and then being driven away by seeing zoe kiss evan. it’s all very heterosexual.

sincerely, me is about jared and evan’s relationship okay

it gives jared stronger motivation to want to have more time and attention from evan

is evan ever more Genuinely Himself than when he’s alone with jared?? showing these parts of himself which he later hides to pretend to be a “better” version of himself, talking about how nobody would like him if they knew What He Was Really Like, meanwhile jared sees this more honest and genuine and less “”nice”” version of evan and likes it so much that everything he subsequently does is about trying to continue that experience and be closer to evan? Hmm? what’s that??

jared continuing to do the emails for evan and the only thing that makes him refuse is feeling personally rejected by evan? the last thing that happens before their fight in gfy, the breaking point for jared if you will, is seeing zoe kiss evan? Hmm????? and then when evan next interacts with jared, jared is upset enough to actually stand his ground and directly push back, almost directly state his feelings???? what’s that?

jared is in love with evan actually and sincerely, me is as much about this as it is about informing us “so yeah they wrote the emails btw”

@ will roland: divulge the lore!! we need your help

kleinsen is THAT real