Emo-nightmare-without-the-emo

*eternal screaming*

A unicorn but with an eye where its horn should be and horns where its eyes should be.

Harry: *looking with wonder at the Marauder’s Map* Is that really…?

Fred: Dumbledore.

George: In his study.

Fred: Pacing.

George: Does that a lot.

Harry: So… what do the other professors do in their spare time?

Fred: Well, we’ve seen Flitwick’s dot hopping up and down in his office loads of times… figured he had some hidden passion for aerobics, but turns out Peeves just likes to drop his wand onto shelves he can’t quite reach.

George: Then there’s Snape. Creeps about at night quite a bit, which isn’t a surprise, but after we noticed him in the Trophy Room a few times, we went down one night to see what he was up to. He was changing your dad’s name to “Rotter” on all his Quidditch awards. 

Harry: HEY!

Fred: No worries, we set them right whenever he does it.

George: Man’s got to have a hobby.

Fred: Sprout sleepwalks, we reckon. Watched her bumping into the greenhouse wall for a half-hour one night. Lupin goes for a long jog in the Forbidden Forest once a month, it’s a bit odd. 

Harry: And McGonagall?

George: You know old mum. Standard stuff. Classroom, office, Great Hall one minute… 

Fred: …climbing the drapes, chasing birds, tipping over cups in the kitchens the next.

you weren’t a “well behaved” child you had anxiety and were terrified of conflict

Neville: One bonus of being an adult is grossly misusing modern slang on purpose and watching my students cry inside.

Neville: A fine example: the other day I pointed at a hippogriff and, while looking Teddy Lupin right in the eye, went “Man, is that bae or what, huh?” and the look on his face was something I will treasure for years.

Evansville Press, Indiana, February 5, 1912

top ten jared & evan interactions in the deh novel

honorable mention) the following texts sent to evan by jared:

“you’re the best. i really mean that.”

“grapefruits. your balls are the size of grapefruits. how do you walk around with those things in your pants?”

“i was going to text you.”

10) jared quoting amy winehouse in an email and evan making him take it out (“that’s a song.” “a great song.”)

9) evan claiming he could probably figure out how to backdate the emails on his own and jared throwing time zone technobabble at him to convince him that he still needs jared’s help

8) evan asking jared to meet him at connor’s wake

7) evan reassuring jared immediately post-words fail that he didn’t tell anyone about jared’s involvement in the lie, and then texting jared nine times in a row to apologize and ask if they’re good

6) jared and evan’s text conversation about evan being too busy with the connor project to hang out with jared that weekend abruptly turning into a face-to-face discussion, which is one of the few changes made to canon by the novel that i actually appreciated. can you imagine the effort jared had to make to appear right in front of evan at the perfect point in their conversation? do you really think a straight man could achieve that drama? that panache? that power?

5) jared requesting to be referred to as the tech consigliere of the connor project not just on the website but in conversation, and evan telling him he’s being unreasonable but then calling him that anyway when they’re pitching tcp to the murphys, without even being reminded

4) evan telling jared about what happened at the first dinner with the murphys - to be specific, the moments right before evan tells jared about what’s happened when he’s reflecting on why he always comes to jared with new developments, as follows: “Jared is the only person in the entire world who has even the slightest appreciation for where I am. I’m floating through space and he’s the voice in my earpiece from central command. I might not agree with his tactics, but without him, there’s a good chance I may never get back home.” val emmich wrote that and they LET him

3) jared arriving in the school cafeteria with the buttons of connor’s face, which leads to the following moments:

evan seeing jared’s arms spread and immediately taking it as an invitation for a hug. how long has he wanted to hug jared?

jared telling evan “i’m trying to show you something” and immediately pointing to his heart

jared’s exit from and zoe’s entrance to the scene being described with the phrase “jared saunters off and zoe takes his place”

2) the scene between them in the hallway on the first day of school, in which the conversation from the musical plays out mostly unchanged but evan’s internal monologue is completely focused on how he’s known jared for years and spent so much time with him and misses the memories of when they hung out together and can tell that jared’s attempts at being Cool And Unaffected don’t always work and thinks jared is hotter than he could ever be. Jared Is A Dick, But He’s My Dick

1) every single line of jared and evan’s estrangement and reconciliation, from “you would have thought we were ex-lovers the way we tiptoed around each other,” to jared appearing out of nowhere (again) to give evan a ride, to evan musing about how good jared looks (again), to “it took a second to remember the way we were,” to evan realizing how much he’d missed jared and that jared was always trying to save him from himself, to “and my role was to be our moral compass,” to “i never told anyone,” to “jared and i weren’t the soldiering types, but in a way, we’d been to battle together, and there was no one else besides the two of us who knew the true depths of what we had done,” to “miracle of all miracles, jared kleinman had a heart,” you’re in a car with a beautiful boy and he won’t tell you that he loves you but he loves you!!

iconics lines of Fred and George

“What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?” is my favorite, oh yes ♥️

credits to grangershug on twitter

fuck it’s august??? what’s next? 2022???? can’t do this anymore