Omg 😆 I Love This I’m In A Doctors Office Trying Not To Laugh My Ass Off!!! Just Imagining Flashes

Omg 😆 I love this I’m in a doctors office trying not to laugh my ass off!!! Just imagining Flashes reaction to being ‘right’!

I am not a Father

This is based off @elvesandlanterns’s report of this post.

When Flash, told Bruce and literally everyone else about the photo, Bruce immediately wanted to see it. Why? Because if he could see it, he might be able to identify who this Freddy character is. If he identifies this Freddy, he could identify Marvel’s civilian counterpart. So, that was just what he did, or rather made Tim do.

Robin!Tim: “Hey, Junior?”

Junior: “Yeah?”

Robin!Tim: “Can I see that photo of Marvel and your dad?”

Junior: “Uh… Why? Also, again, Freddy’s not my dad.”

Robin!Tim: “It’s pretty obvious he is, man.”

Junior: “No, it’s not. You also still haven’t answered why.”

Robin!Tim: “I wanna see it because I’m curious about baby Marvel and baby Freddy.”

Junior: “Neither of them are babies though?”

Robin!Tim: “I’ll give you twenty bucks if I can see the photo.”

Junior: “Deal.” *fishes it out of his pocket dimension and hands it to him before taking the twenty bucks from Tim*

It was just a quick look for whatever reason, right? Thats why Freddy thought nothing of it, especially when offered the twenty. They could have groceries for months with this bill! They might even be able to get a treat for themselves with it. Billy’s birthday was coming up, maybe he could get him a cake? Or some fast food? Or a present? Maybe the Bulletman action figure he saw Billy eyeing in a store window? He wanted to get him something, he knew that.

Anyways, Tim guiltily snapped a couple pictures, feeling bad about going behind his friends back, and then sent them to Bruce a few minutes after handing the photo back to Junior.

Bruce immediately got to work, trying to match a names to the faces. He ended up having to switch to paper files and break into the city hall in Fawcett because neither boy would come up in an online database. That’s how he found Frederick Christopher Freeman and William Joseph Batson. Born in 1932 and 1933 respectively. Both Orphans. Both were likely on the streets after being orphaned. No known death date which suggests they could be alive, though it’s unlikely considering they’d be in their nineties and the asbestos in this town would’ve gotten to them already.

Though, considering that Marvel is still alive and young, this could paint a not so nice picture. Could Fredrick have grown old and died while Marvel had stayed young? Is that why he had the look of horror when he was mentioned? Is Fredrick actually Junior’s father? They certainly do look similar. It would also make sense as to why Cap was raising Junior. If this was his friend’s kid, he probably wouldn’t want him on the streets. But then how does Junior have Marvel’s powers? Can Marvel give powers willy-nilly? So many questions yet no answers.

Thankfully, he came across a news channel clip of Marvel saying that his powers were genetic. Billy made that up on the spot, not that Bruce would know.

Okay? So they are related, but how? Does that mean Junior is Marvel and Fredrick’s child? Lord, was Flash actually right about Fredrick and Marvel dating at some point? Wait, but if Junior is actually their kid, how was he born? Surrogacy? William- it’s strange to call the Captain that- has a sister, but she was pronounced dead. As for Fredrick, he had a brother but that’s it. They could’ve gotten someone random maybe? But then how would the kid look like Fredrick but have the Captain’s powers, was it magic? Can you do that? Can you have a magic pregnancy?? Bruce is falling down the rabbit hole and he can’t stop himself.

Eventually, he just went up to the pair and asked them directly.

Junior and Marvel: *talking*

Batman: “Captain? Could I ask you something?

Marvel: “Of course! What is it?”

Batman: “I…” *looks at Freddy for like three seconds before looking back to Marvel*

Marvel: *smiling*

Batman: “Is Junior yours and Fredrick Freeman’s biological son?”

Bruce has never heard a louder silence in his life. A clueless confusion could slowly be seen crossing Marvel’s face.

Marvel: “Wha-”

Junior: “Yup.” *nods his head*

Marvel: *looks over to him with the same horrified expression*

Batman: “Now, Marvel, there’s no need to look like that.” *reaches up to put and hand on Marvel’s shoulder* “Here at the Justice League we accept members of any race, religion, color, or sexual orientation.”

With that Batman left Billy and Freddy there. Billy’s jaw was already dropped, and as soon as Batman was out of sight, Freddy’s jaw dropped too.

Later…

Billy: “I can’t believe you said that!”

Freddy: “Dude, would you have rather wanted to explain that we’re two kids who got powers and decided to fight crime?”

Billy: “…No.”

Freddy: “That’s what I thought. Now here, take this.” *hands Billy a Bulletman action figure*

Billy: “What?!” *jaw drops* “Freddy where’d you get this?!”

Freddy: “I bought it, duh.”

Billy: “This is awesome!” *hugs the life out of Freddy*

Btw for this to work, somehow no one knows about the time bubble.

More Posts from Elvesandlanterns and Others

1 year ago

(Free Prompt please take )

Hob “words of affirmation” Gadling stuck with Dream “to emotionally constipated to talk” Endless.

And

Dream “quality time” Endless stuck with Hob “I’ll sleep when I pass out” Gadling.

Needless to say misunderstandings ensue.

Hob also presumably still doesn’t know Dream name.


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2 years ago

Ghost Helpline part 17 - Aftermath

Violet spends the next week stuck inside. It wasn’t bad. Dad washed, clothed and feed her teleportation sickness away. She sleeps in his bed and he sends her to sleep with fairytales. Violet doesn’t know what she’s supposed to learn from these stories, it’s nice tho.

Violet doesn’t remember being a baby, maybe she never was one? This softness with her new dad leaves her wanting. Violet would like to beige that if she ever was a baby that she had been held like this - as if she was something precious.

Funny enough her bed rest has her brothers divided. Violet lies about and blames it all on a summoning gone wrong. Brad doesn’t correct her.

It leaves half of her brothers to tiptoe around her as if she’s going to go feral at any moment. The other half yell, they’re angry. Konstelacio isn’t sure which she hates more.

Brad shuts himself away from everyone except Chad and Ziyad.

Billy hugs her and tells her everything about his mission. Almost everything he dances around something. Something important, he calls Batman a dick twice. It makes her feel better about lying.

Klarion gives her an amulet and drags Charles over to tell her about their night out.

Dandy … Dandy doesn’t take it well.

“SOMEONE should have been with her!”

“Brad SHOULD have called me!”

“We should be HOME! Not here with all these these … !”

“You know how I feel about humans.”

Every days another fight.

Konstelacio sneaks out the window.

—- —- —-

It’s been a week since the commotion on the Watch Tower. Six days since they started developing an injectable cure for Vampires Fog. Five days since his talk with Tim. Four days since his kids have begun to mercilessly tease him over more frequent phone use. Three days since he read Nightwings report on the pink vampire. Two days since Constantine had contacted him with an update. They had some more info. One day since he called Clark asking him to schedule a JL meeting.

Six hours thirty two minutes and 54 seconds since Vlad last texted him.

Bruce debated sending him another cat meme to hurry up the process.

He knew he shouldn’t be worried, apparently his only daughter had gotten the flu. And much like Tim, when they got sick they got really sick.

Bruce sent him- her- them! Bruce sent them flowers. Hopefully she would get better soon. It was painfully obvious that Vlad loved his children and her getting sick had him stressing out.

Bruce debated inviting the Masters family over for dinner.

The kids would bully him relentlessly.

Alfred would love it.

—- —— ——

The entire week has been strange to Damian. For some reason his father has been texting the head of their new neighbors relentlessly, much to his sibling’s amusement. Damian doesn’t understand why father and him suddenly “need” friends. The whole act was a waste of time, Jon was enough friendship he needed anyway.

Damian stalked into the backyards tree line. Today was good day to paint damian thought as he set up his easel. Just a sunny quiet day with no distractions.

Wwhhhooossshhhh!

That, that was probably just some animal on the property. It wasn’t uncommon to see bunnies or cats skittering around the areas of estate that still resembled a forest.

Wwwwhhhhoooshhhh!

Damian followed the sound deeper into the tree line.

Wwwhhhossh!

That didn’t sound like an animal anymore. If anything it sounded like it was coming from above…?

Damian turned his head towards the sky.

It was just a girl. How disappointing, Damian had hoped to find a big cat.

She was sitting on a tree branch, swinging her legs like she had no trouble in the world. Tch- she probably doesn’t. No doubt she’s one of his new neighbors.

Wait … hadn’t she been sick recently? What was she doing out here? What was she thinking climbing that high?!

“Oi! Imbecile what are you thinking? Get down from there! “

Her head whipped around to face him.

He knew that face, he’d drawn it several times for the league files. It was missing the scar and golden eyes. But he knew that face.

He knew that face… Konstelacio ?

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

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2 years ago
archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

DC/DP Crossover Idea #35

Danny manages to convince the Justice League that he’s just a hundreds of years old being that’s stuck with a baby face, which leads to him being able to do dangerous missions and other things that he wouldn’t have been able to do if they knew his actual age.

However he has do deal adult things like them wanting to consume alcohol and Danny’s fine with a lot of things, fighting in near death situations? Sure why not. But underage drinking? No, Jazz raised him better than that.

So now Danny has to think of why he doesn’t do certain things that your average hundreds of years old being would do, like drinking apparently.

He manages to absolutely fuck himself over when his mind completely blanks and Danny straight up says he’s pregnant.


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4 years ago

Writing Prompt

Elronds reaction to the story of Cassandra and Apollo.

Just think of how hard that would hit Elrond.

Bonus points if it’s a child telling him the story. (Don’t know why but I love the whole child telling a profound story to the adult thing).

If anyone uses this please link it in the comments- I would love to read it!!! ❤️


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1 year ago

Or or or they all got a different voices, some better at it than others making the bats think that some of the employees are disguising thier natural accents to not be spotted.

Also them thinking the employees are in on it is soooo hilarious - like why are they doing this? Amnesia? Mind control?

Danny didn’t mean to be so shady.

He had been working hard on his duplicates and had recently gained the ability to morph his appearance.

So he decided to challenge himself to see how long he could run a small business only using him and his clones.

The plan was to, at most, seem to have a group of quirky employees.

Unfortunately, it seems he has accidentally left more of an impression of being a shell company for less than legal reasons.

Good news is that he had did all the legal legwork properly and was not breaking the law.

Bad news was that the bats were getting suspicious and were trying to catch him in some sort of act.

Oh well, this just means that the difficulty has ramped up!


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2 years ago

Cale Anti-Hero

It wasn’t often that Cale found himself alone. There was always ‘something’ happening so it was totally reasonable that he wanted to take advantage of his new found free time. They had settled on singing; it had use to be Cales favorite pass time with his mother, he had not sang in years and for Kim it had been even longer. ….. they really should had been more careful.

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

Ron stopped short of the mansions entryway, Hans and the kids rushing in only to quite. They had all planned to come home earlier today. Had no one told Cale?

Ron huffed, what was this puppy saying? Cale had matured so fast in such a short time, too fast even.

Midnights become my afternoons

Raon chuckled it was just like his human to sleep the whole day away if he could! Good thing Lemon gramps was here to wake him up!

When my depression works the graveyard shift

The wolf children stopped smiling turning to look at Lock, “What does that mean!”, “What’s wrong?”, “Hyung Lock haven’t you been taking care of him!”. Lock stilled beside Beacrox, no no this couldn’t be happening how could their savior, the man who took them in be so unhappy?

All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

What did that mean, Cale had never killed anyone if anyone was to be haunted by ghost it should be me though Choi Han. Listening in from a different room in the house, having taken an entrance through the window instead of the door like a reasonable man.

I should not be left to my own devices

Alberu seconded that! Cale never does know when to leave shit alone. He’s been surprised to have gotten a call from Cales children only to be welcomed with the sound of beautiful singing. But Alberus’ stomach began to twist he had a bad feeling just where this was going.

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crises

Rosalyn started next to Alberu ready to teleport at a moments notice! Cheeks puffing in anger, just who on Earth would go to Cale demanding money? And enough to put Cale in crises… maybe this was before from when Cale use to be a trash drunk ? The lyrics did say “vices” after all hhhmmm

Tale as old as time

I wake up screaming from dreaming

The dragon and cats looked at each other in confusion, Cale loved sleep they definitely would have noticed if he had nightmares!

Ron closed his eyes and sighed, oh those nightmares after the first Countess had died. Was he the only one that ever knew about those? Not that he was of much help, Cale was nothing like his own son he still didn’t know how to confront or comfort him at all,

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

'Cause you got tired of my scheming

For the last time

Positively Everyone froze, what? Did Cale think that they would all just abandon him?

Deruth began to cry, he didn’t want to see this anymore. Who had decided to share such a thing with them in the first place? It never would had been Cale. That child never aloud himself to be so vulnerable in front of his family. In front of him. What kind of a father had he been?

The Henituse family could here Deruth crying but no one had any words to console him. After all wasn’t this there fault? They had made Cale feel so unloved and unwanted in his own home that he now believed that no one would stay with him if give the chance.

It's me

Hi!

I'm the problem, it's me

Cage was beginning to regret picking up the call from Cale kids right now. Taylor was utterly distraught and admittedly so was she. Cale was a good person! Their very own lucky charm!

At teatime

Everybody agrees

Basen felt ashamed. He remembered getting into verbal tirades with Cale the first few times his trashy behavior had started. He had told him to act better, for the family’s social reputation if nothing else! But just how many of those tea times included demeaning his brother as a part of the entertainment. And then he had just yelled at him and told him to go back to endure more. He was a horrible brother.

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

Pasetons face flushed a tad, he had considered Cale a bit vain actually. Not that he didn’t have a right to be! But did Cale perhaps not enjoy looking at himself? Did they perhaps have this in common?

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Antihero? But Cale was a hero! Sure he did unsavory things to reach his goals but.. but… did it perhaps bother Cale? He always did say he wanted a slacker life.

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

And I'm a monster on the hill

If Violan had been less dignified or more hot tempered she would have thrown her teacup into the wall! Instead she rose from her seat to talk to her husband, no one no matter how noble was going to get away with making Cale feel uncomfortable in his own body! Violan smiled, no doubt Cales new body guard and vice captain Hilsmans knights would agree.

Too big to hang out

Slowly lurching toward your favorite city

On and Hong hissed! Yeah to save it!

Pierced through the heart but never killed

Something in Choi Han broke, Cales voice cracked as if he was crying. He never wanted to hear Cale cry, it hurt so much to not be able to do anything- he’d do anything.

Did you hear my covert narcissism

I might disguise as altruism

Like some kind of congressman

Alberu hummed at that, did Cale hate politics that much? What is this feeling ? Oh right guilt.

Tale as old as time

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

And life will lose all its meaning

For the last time

It's me

Hi!

I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At teatime

Everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Choi Han decided to join everyone else at the parlor, he couldn’t take this alone anymore.

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money

She thinks I left them in the will

On and Hong were outraged! They would never love someone so despicable!

Meanwhile every adult was enraged! They would protect Cale and his little family - was that why Cale loved money?

The family gathers 'round and reads it

And then someone screams out

"He's laughing up at us from hell!"

Cage was bewildered why would Cale ever think he would go there? And didn’t Cale not believe in god?!?!

It's me

Hi!

No one knew what to do after the song ended, everybody in person or on call was as tense as a bow string. There were no words to break the tension.

Cale was beginning to play the piano again, oh dear god now what??!?!


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11 months ago

Clark remembering Batman’s distance when he reacted badly to Konner …. Oh no I’ve made a mistake:(

I know there are a lot of fanfics about Jason being caught by the Justice League and usually getting bailed out by the batfam, but imagine if it was Brucie Wayne bailing him out:

In the JL interrogation room:

Superman: Alright, Red Hood, who is your supplier helping you move drugs in Star City?

Red Hood, who was undercover investigating a drug ring and got caught in a JL bust and sesnses an opportunity to mess with Batman: Look, I know you guys aren't cops, but can I get at least get one phone call?

Justice league looking skeptical?

Red Hood: You can even monitor it.

Green Arrow: Fine one phone call, but it will be monitored.

Hands Hood a phone

Red Hood: Hey Dad, I got stopped by the Justice League. Could you come bail me out? Really, okay, see you soon. Okay, my Dad said that he would bail me, so could we go over to the teleporters?

Green Arrow: Okay, firstly, we aren't cops, you can't just post bail and get out. Secondly, how would this "Dad" get up here?

Red Hood: You'll see.

Minutes later, Brucie Wayne walks in with a trail of Heroes, trying to explain why he cannot be at the Watchtower.

Superman: Mr. Wayne what are you doing here and how did you get here?

Bruce laying the Brucie persona on thick: Well as one of the Justice League's biggest doners and tech suppliers I have access to the teleporters, as for why I'm here it's to bail out my son. Hi Jaylad!

Red Hood fully expecting Batman: What?

Green Arrow remembering his friend's grief over loosing Jason: Ummmm, Mr. Wayne this is the Red Hood. You know "Bag full of severed heads" Red Hood.

Brucie: Yes, I know he's had some issues with his big feelings, but he's still my sweet little boy.

Superman: And you think that he's your late son Jason Todd?

Brucie: Yes, Batman even confirmed it was him. It turns out that after he died, he was brought back by an organization that planned on using him as a weapon against Batman. But he left them and has been working to improve Crime Alley, I'm so proud of him.

Green Arrow: We caught him in Star City with Drug runners.

Brucie: I'm sure he has a good explanation, don’t you Jaylad?

Red Hood still reeling from Bruce showing up as Brucie and not Batman: I was undercover?

Brucie: See perfectly reasonable, now can I please have my baby boy back? Alfred will be so upset if he's not home for dinner.

Surprisingly, this works , the Justice League is to stunned by this revelation and later confirm this with Batman that yes, the notorious Red Hood is the son of Billionaire, philanthropist airhead Brucie Wayne. Jason, meanwhile, has suffered a huge blow to his cred in the Hero community because of the association with Brucie instead of the Batfam. The bat siblings do not let this go anytime soon.


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8 months ago

Which villain would do this??? I love it it tho!!! Imagine the drama !!!

prompt idea where bad guys kidnap Captain Marvel and put him under a truth serum live on television. JL are desperately searching for Marvel's location while watching, fearing Marvel's livelyhood will be put at stake! but then...

Villain approaches Marvel with a smirk, "Tell me big red cheese, where do you live!"

Captain Marvel, "Oh dude im homeless!"

And literally like the interogation ends as quickly as it started because WHAT

--

villain: "wait so you... where do you sleep...?"

billy: "Outside, nice ol' comfy concrete."

villain: "Dont you have like.. a job?"

billy: "Does heroism count?"

villain: "....No."

the villain doesn't even continue cause he feels bad like damn end of broadcast dude.

1 year ago

Constantine: I can help keep the big bad tough ghost away from you!

Danny: …bad ghosts???

Constantine: yeah like who ever gave you those nasty bruises there kiddo

Danny, ghost culture kicking in and just having babysat Youngblood with ember: are you … are you threatening to take my friends away!!!!!

JL: …. Wtf John!

DP X DC PROMPT BECAUSE FUCK SLEEPING I DON’T NEED OXYGEN

It’s a hard summoning. A horrible summoning. The very worst Constantine’s ever been part of, he was expecting a rough ride with an entity of this power but surely this is excessive?

The Ghost King has been known to accept deals for centuries, and yeah the terms are shit but the world is full on ending and the Justice League are out of better options

When the magic lashes out and takes Doctor Fate to his knees, he begins to doubt what they’re doing

Is this really the better option? Really? Sure, Pariah will take the souls of all their enemies into his army for conquest, but if it costs everyone anyway…

**

Danny wrapped arms, legs, and teeth around the telephone pole in Amity Park, growling against the pull

Of COURSE this had to happen three days after he made a joke about “being the only entity John Constantine hasn’t tried to sell his soul to” to Clockwork

He’s not fucking losing the bet about making it to the end of the week


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elvesandlanterns - Miscellaneous
Miscellaneous

Writing Prompts, family discussions, random bits of my life, short stories and dog pics!!!

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