Tiny Book Review. Shadow And Bone (Leigh Bardugo).

Review: the WHY café

Read this today and uff, no, I wrote a book on similar topics and my book is simply better. Don’t wanna brag, but it’s true.

The idea, that once you have found your reason for existence, the thing that you want to do every waking minute of your life, that after that you will have enough money to survive, a job, and oportunities will come to you like it’s universe working for you… it’s fun untill you ask yourself “and what’s about the ill?”

Why does nobody ever thinks about the ill? The Disabled? Those, who don’t have the same room full of “you can do whatever you want”s to choose from?

Made me very angry. So, if I knew what makes me the most fulfilled and happy, and I was knocking at all doors and I was talking to all people about it, learning, creating, trying, working my ass off for this… but then got chronically ill and hat to reconsider everything and give up on bunch of dreams… that means I what, did not want it hard enough? If knowing what you are here for and working towards the fulfilment gets help for universe to make the road easier, does it mean I got punishment? What about people who are d*omg in wars and from diseases? The children even, literal children, why does it happen? Why do most passionate dancers loose legs and writers get brain injuries? I don’t believe in a Christian god who is “testing is”, nor I believe in punishment from “something bigger than we are”. I don’t think people deserved to get ME/CFS and become unable to get up, have a chat, read a book or even deal with smells/light/sounds. I don’t think I was ment to not being able to dance, jump and run, to not be able to wake up and feel rested (ever), to not be able to remember words or what I was doing just in this moment. It’s silly, I need to look for clues when I do things and then forget what I am doing. It’s silly untill it happens to you and you understand, any day your intellectual abilities can just leave you and there is nothing anyone can do.

This book is for health people who are in denial about the fact, that over 80% of Disabilities are not born with. And that at some point in a certain age we all become Disabled and need help and will have access needs. And everyone, especially since 2020, can get things like ME/CFS even if you were healthy before. And then no dream, no fulfilling idea, nothing will help and most certainly not the people around you who so desperately try to forget the existence of chronically ill and Disabled people and about them being just one accident or one unfortunate infection away from becoming one themselves.

Health people are just ✨different✨ in my opinion. If your main problem is not the ultra low amount of spoons, chronic pains, brain fog and not being able to do things most people don’t even think about while doing them.. yeah maybe you can gain smth from this book. But me, haha, I am like that, I just get angry and want to shake folx by their shoulders HONEY DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT!!

Anyways…

My second ever youtube video, which is already so much better than the first one was! So proud of myself, ngl.

Since the autism acceptance/awareness month started yesterday, let’s learn a basic: what’s up with neurodiversity and neurodivergence?

All people are neurodiverse as a group.

Like all animals and plants are the biodiversity

The neurodiverse people are separated in neurotypical and neurodivergent people.

Some neurodivergent people are autistic

Neurodivergence is a huge spectrum and there is much more to it than just autism or adhd. It’s not synonymous with autism and/or adhd.

Allistic is a term to describe non-autistic people. But allistics can be differently neurodivergent, for example because of borderline or epilepsy.

Neurotypical people are allistic because they are not autistic.

Neurodiverse (if 🦔 is neurotypical)

🦔🦉🐌 🦔🦔🐺🪿🐒🦔🌿 or

🦔🦔🪱 🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔 or

🐌🪱🦆🐴🦐🦇🐡🪿🪱🪿🪿

As you can see it can mean a lot of things.

Neurodivergent:

🐒🐥🦆🪿🦅🦉🐺🐴🦇🐦‍⬛🦉🐌🦆🪱🦐🐡🐿️🌿+

As you can see it means everyone but 🦔

Autistic (if 🦆 is autistic)

🦆🦆🦆🦆

Neurotypical and allistic

🦔🦔🦔🦔

Allistic and neurodivergent

🐥🐦‍⬛🦋🫎🪱🦗🐙🐳🎄🦦

As you can see it’s everyone but 🦔 or 🦆

https://app.thestorygraph.com/profile/elfi_reads

My storygraph Account✨ it’s created by a Black cis woman (hope it’s true) and should be better than good reads. I really enjoy that people can submit trigger warnings and also upload their books themselves.

Just started Shadow And Bone. I watched some of it via Netflix adaptation, but once I have found out that there is a book I did not want to finish watching. Also, I remember very little if the story, so I almost get to know the characters for the first time.

Just mailed my new Newsletter (vol.2 jippie! What a time to be alive!) This time talking about ME/CFS, #stillcoviding, solidarity and anger because of the lack of it. I wish I could host my own magazine type of situation.. Maybe one day with a special person. I love writing, people seem to like reading my things as well or at least most of them. The only way how I can become self-sufficient in a financial way would be by becoming a "full time" educator and writer. (I say "full time", because in my condition the only full tim eactivity I take part in is taking care of my basic needs. Still now always succeeding..)

Other topic: I have ordered some secondhand books and plan to write some book reviews on things i read recently and really liked. There are not many, but i have not written a book review in a very very long time.

Internship in the Theater turned out to be quite an underwhelming technically and overwhelming morally type of disaster… I have the hope, that it will get better, once people start trusting me being on fellow human being, but for now they just alienate me most of the time. Only the acting folx are truly nice and don’t care for my looks and the mask, they treat me kindly. Once again, Disabled people behave more humanly than non-Disabled folx while the whole world pretends like Disbaled people need to be dehumanised.

Sadly I don’t read atm, but started to play Sims Medieval (Pirates and Nobles) and it’s quite fun except of a racist name for Roma people. Treating roma and sinti like they are mythical creatures out of fables, putting them together with “the knight, the wizard, the elves, the princess..” like it’s a school play.. really not cool. Don’t understand why they still didn’t change it.

Review: Siege and Storm (Leigh Bardugo)

Very intense in my opinion. A lot of new characters, drama, you can feel how lonely and tired the main characters are, it’s great written. Also with more funny sentences because they break the intense atmosphere easier. You know, because the story is SO intense. More diverse Charakters, but I misunderstood some reviews about queer folx being in the story I guess… I have some guesses but I feel like I see queer Charakters just because I want them to be queer, not because they might be. Looking forward for the third book of the trilogy, but will read something else first because yeah. Intense.

„Suffering is cheap as clay and twice as common. What matters is what each [person] makes of it.“ (Ruin and Rising, Chapter 7)