Learning How To Edit Long Videos On My Laptop Is Actually Really Fun. Also It Looks Almost Like The Pictures

On topic of books: did you know, that “Breakfast at Tiffanys” is actually about a sexworker? (Idk do we censore those words here?)

It’s so funny to me when some stores have the “there is a Holly Gollightly in every woman” edition of the book with Audrey Hepburn on the cover… I don’t think whoever made this read the actual book. Because no way they mean it because they are sexworkers affirming.

Either ways I will need to read the original one day, but I have some more urgent books to go through first.

New Video On Youtube

I was writing my theater science assignment and thought, why not use the time? Also, learned a lot of new stuff on DaVinci and CapCut for this video.

I had so many punk, alternative, leftist, communist, anarchist friends and then anti-covid measures were lifted and after half a year into it i was left with two people who are still wearing a mask and take other measures. I got to know some other chronically ill folx which still take covid seriously, but everyone else who was so so feminist and anti-racist and pro trans* rights and pro migrants and antifa and all that.. everyone else just stopped reacting to my info about masks and solidarity and stopped texting me all together. I am asking myself sometimes how do they live with their consciousness? How do they walk around, see masked people sometimes and think "oh, elfi was a great friend to me, i was so grateful for their knowledge and help, but then the whole respect-my-life-and-health thing became too much for me so i just ghosted them. what a great way to say thank you, it was!" Of Corse not, they pushed me out of their lives like they did with everyone else who is chronically ill and/or Disabled while being covid cautious. What a pity. My heart broke so many times in the last 3 years. But also: how are we meant to achieve a revolution, how would we eat the rich or abolish whatever there is to abolish, if we cannot even protect the most vulnerable by making the minimal effort of not making them sick by choice? (because knowing that you can protect someone and not doing so is a choice to bring them in potential danger) How do we talk about feminism and trans* rights if we cannot manage the basic consent question of "i do not give you my permission to bring me in more danger"? Questions about questions, as they say in germany T.T

anyways, after writing multiple articles for the newsletter on that topic i still have so many things to say, one day there will be a great book about it (already made a layout for the story) and I hope i will not get even more brain fog and other issues. There are so many books i yet have to write...

Tbh if you consider yourself "Alt" or "punk," I don't care unless you wear a mask in public. Otherwise, you're just another poser.

Review: L‘Étranger (Albert Camus)

Too bad I could not read it in French. I wish I could.

I really liked HOW it was written. The first half of the story is just cis men being cis men in a nutshell (ignoring, supporting each others in the violence they do, pretending like nothing happens, even helping each other while being like oh yeah he is a good guy you know). The other half is more philosophical. It hit differently also because I had an Ex who was pretty much like the main character: not interested in anything (except YouTube videos), not having opinions, not experiencing emotions very much (not expressing them is one thing but feeling bored by literally everything is different), not being able to have deep connections and be vulnerable with himself or others. On the other hand, the main character is wildly autistic coded for his inability to cope with physical stimuli (I feel that a lot) and remembering things others would not remember while reacting „inappropriately“ to stuff. So I don’t think I liked the story, but it’s on me. I liked how it is written though, Italien watching a film, so many details but it’s not too much. It’s like a strange diary of someone, who does not need people and actually doesn’t mind to die because people are too boring and everything is useles anyway. Something like that. But I would need to read some interpretations for sure, especially since I have bel reading in German.

I hope to find more time to read soon, but I am so busy with doing things and having anxiety T.T I finally came around to film a YouTube video about the books I read in the last 11 months, but editing it will be so annoying because I don’t have money for a program that would put proper subtitles in..

Since the autism acceptance/awareness month started yesterday, let’s learn a basic: what’s up with neurodiversity and neurodivergence?

All people are neurodiverse as a group.

Like all animals and plants are the biodiversity

The neurodiverse people are separated in neurotypical and neurodivergent people.

Some neurodivergent people are autistic

Neurodivergence is a huge spectrum and there is much more to it than just autism or adhd. It’s not synonymous with autism and/or adhd.

Allistic is a term to describe non-autistic people. But allistics can be differently neurodivergent, for example because of borderline or epilepsy.

Neurotypical people are allistic because they are not autistic.

Neurodiverse (if 🦔 is neurotypical)

🦔🦉🐌 🦔🦔🐺🪿🐒🦔🌿 or

🦔🦔🪱 🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔 or

🐌🪱🦆🐴🦐🦇🐡🪿🪱🪿🪿

As you can see it can mean a lot of things.

Neurodivergent:

🐒🐥🦆🪿🦅🦉🐺🐴🦇🐦‍⬛🦉🐌🦆🪱🦐🐡🐿️🌿+

As you can see it means everyone but 🦔

Autistic (if 🦆 is autistic)

🦆🦆🦆🦆

Neurotypical and allistic

🦔🦔🦔🦔

Allistic and neurodivergent

🐥🐦‍⬛🦋🫎🪱🦗🐙🐳🎄🦦

As you can see it’s everyone but 🦔 or 🦆

I was learning DaVinci Resolve today but ended up working on the next YouTube Video with CapCut, because it’s hard for me to learn new Programms without someone sitting next to me and answering all the questions. I am still very proud of me, because this is the first Study With Me video and it’s really nice ❤️‍🩹✨

While writing my last (jeppie!) Theater science essay decided to film some sort of “Study with me” but then my phone got a full storage :( so now I have 1h of footage instead of 2 as planned. But that’s ok. It was still fun.

🤎YouTube: Elfs_Tears_Society🤎

This is the pile of things I am planing to read while working through “Who’s Afraid Of Gender” (Judith Butler) for my thesis.

P.s. I already read Plato’a “Symposion” and wrote a paper in the uni about it, but I liked it so much I wanted to read something about Symposion since I have nobody to talk to about it.