My Friend Asked Me About My New Tattoo Before Class Today, And I Couldn't Help But Laugh Because It Was

Update:

Still sleepy. Now laying in bed, listening to Chappell Roan on repeat.

Do you ever just want to curl up in a little ball and do nothing?

The world is on my shoulders, I can't stand the weight

It's shadow looms over me, a reminder of everything I hate

Oh, what I would give anything to leave it all and walk away

But I know how the guilt would eat at me everyday

I wish I could power through, give it my all

But no matter what I do, I just feel so small

Is there a way to remain persistent?

The longer I struggle, the more I grow indifferent.

Anaïs Nin, from a letter to Joaquin Nin, featured in Reunited: The Correspondence of Anais and Joaquin Nin, 1933-1940

I'm pretty sure my cats favorite hobbies are sitting where they're not supposed to, and running across my keyboard

I guess if I keep spending all my time writing instead of doing my work, I should join my school news paper or something. At least get some extra credit for being a professional idiot

Why sleep when I can stay up late and convince myself I have more time than I actually do?

I grow ever tired as my body fills with dread

I have that sinking feeling that I'd be better off dead

I see the world crash around me, and hate that I complain

Because avoiding homework is pathetic and lame

I worry about everyone, but there's nothing I can do

So I let myself indulge in the thoughts that just aren't true

That I'm pathetic and useless, that there's no one I can trust

And to do anything less than everything is morally unjust

I feel so disappointed, agitated, why couldn't I focus and get this done?

I was supposed to be better. Why does it feel like I'm back at step one?

The anxious buzzing swirls around me and doesn't seem to stop

It's like a never ending carousel, it'll keep spinning 'til I drop

-drop all my responsibilities, give up and run away

-away from all those telling me it'll all be okay

Cause it's not okay, I'm not okay. Don't lie and say I will be