Reblog And Make A Wish! This Was Removed From Tumbrl Due To “violating One Or More Of Tumblr’s Community

Okay, so like, instead of that incredibly OOC for everyone involved piece of shit Battle for the Cowl storyline, what SHOULD have happened in my EXPERT opinion is they all start fighting for it, whatever, fine, but then Dick is like, fuck it, who even cares, let’s just all be Batman. Except for Damian, because you’re short and wee so you’re stuck with Robin, sorry kiddo.

To which Damian, naturally, would snarl: How DARE you, Grayson, I AM THE blah blah blah, but then everyone points out that the Robin costumes are literally the only ones that fit him and its not like he knows how to sew, and he’s welcome to TRY threatening/blackmailing/bribing Alfred into making him a pint-sized Batman costume, but like……lol. Yeah. Sure.

And so Dick AND Jason AND Tim AND Cass because she exists, fuck you BftC, are ALL Batman. Yes, even Cass. Jason’s all, shouldn’t you call yourself Batwoman? And Cass just stares at him, dead-eye, and says I don’t want to. And I mean, nobody’s dumb enough to argue with Cass so its like alright, there are four Batmen now. Batmans? Whatever.

And it just confuses the ever loving FUCK out of the Gotham underworld and Rogues, because you’ve got a laughing Batman who freaking PUNS and a trigger-happy shooting Batman and a short Batman who talks and acts just like the real deal except WHY IS HE SO SHORT and a freakily silent Batman who just fucking APPEARS right next to your elbow more quiet and creepily than even the original one ever managed and two seconds later you’re down for the count and you don’t even know what the fuck just happened.

And in the dark, with them all dressed alike, crouching at just the right angles that its almost impossible to tell at a first glance how tall or built they each are, these four Batmen are just freaking EVERYWHERE and you run into one and its like gdi I’m so fucked but I gotta wait til they stand up or say something to figure out just HOW fucked I am cuz like, please let it be any of them but the Batman with guns and then its the freakily silent Batman and you’re like WAIT OH FUCK I CHANGED MY MIND GIMME THE SHOOTY BATMAN I WANT THE SHOOTY BATMAN!

And also, the only thing that’s ever really successfully bonded the Batkids in the past is the opportunity to fuck with people, so eventually, sometimes they start mixing it up and imitating each other’s styles just to REALLY mess with peoples’ heads, with Jason randomly cracking puns so they’re like oh phew, its the laughing Batman, and then Jason’s like LMFAO NOPE and whips out a grenade. And Dick actually CAN be quiet when he wants to, so he pretends to be the freakily silent Batman and just fucking APPEARS in a warehouse full of gunrunners and whispers “Boo” and then he just laughs his ass off when they all run screaming out the door, where Stabby Robin is waiting with his katana. 

And on and on it goes until nobody knows up from down or left from right and you’ve got guys just laying down their weapons and sobbing I give up, like just at the SIGHT of any of them, because they’re so fucking confused and they’re like, maybe I can at least spare myself the headache of trying to figure out who the hell I’m even dealing with this time, look, I’m fucked no matter what anyway so what’s even the point.

And then finally Bruce comes back ‘from the dead’ or whatever that was, I stopped paying attention, something something time travel bat god Darkseid omega energy blah blah who cares.

And he’s figuring Dick has been Batman while he’s gone so he starts trying to get all caught up based off that assumption and THAT goes off the fucking rails pretty damn quick, and eventually he’s just scrolling through files on the Batcomputer like….wut?

And that’s when the kids all roar back in from patrol on and in their varying Bat-vehicles, to the sight of their supposedly dead father, and they’re all like….wut?

And Bruce stares at four different Batman and a four foot Robin who’s basically 75% ominous scowl and 25% bladed weaponry, and he’s like….wut?

And then Alfred comes down the stairs into the Batcave and stops and stares and is like, oh, my word. Y’know, all British-ish and stuff.

And then there are five Batmen.

It does not get less confusing for Gotham after that. 

Hot take: why the Jedi seem so  unnatural

There’s something about their movements; it’s too smooth, too sure. They never trip on their feet, never run into anything, and their bodies navigate crowds too easily. 

There’s something about their eyes, too, how they seem to bore straight through the soul of whoever they speak to. They sometimes seem to begin to answer a question before it’s even asked, and they always know what words to say to placate the emotions in the room.

There are rumors that the Negotiator and the Hero With No Fear do not need words to communicate, that they can speak without a comm while they are miles away from each other. 

The rumors say the Negotiator has a true silver tongue, that the reason he is so successful is not because he is a skilled diplomat but because there’s something else to his voice and words that makes him so convincing. 

The rumors say the apprentice of the Hero With No Fear is like a bird in flight when she moves, too graceful to be fully Togruta, her leaps so high it is as if she has the wings of a convor. 

(The Tuskens believe that Death walks on two legs and brings with him a blade forged from the flames of the sun. They believe they displeased him for they were not strong enough, and they have never taken a prisoner since that day. Their victims are always killed and offered in sacrifice to Death.)

an episode of the clone wars

yoda, hitting a bong: stole a fuckton of holocrons, the cowboy did

ahsoka: well ok! let’s just stab him until he gives them back

anakin: haha y-

obiwan:

anakin:

obiwan:

ahsoka:

anakin: no ahsoka……. it’s not the jedi way

a non-comprehensive list of things wonder woman has canonically done

aka why you should read the comics if you haven’t already

snuck out of themyscira when she was 15 and ended up having a dance-off on Dance Dance Retribution

started a band named Bullets and Bracelets

punched a man for 10 million dollars and used the money to help low-income daycare centers

suggested people try craiglist if they’re too poor to afford being punched by her

got down on her hands and knees to stick her tongue out at a lizzard

makes mistakes in english when she’s upset/worried because it’s not her first language never have i felt so identified with anything, ever

“it was not for you, steven. it was because i must.”

officiated several gay weddings

made ‘kal-el’ the word for brother in themysciran after superman confessed he was lonely growing up

bought lois lane a drink after she helped her defeat some aliens by throwing dirt at them it was a very gay issue i gotta say

 “… is very sugar” was her reaction to coca cola

wore a hijab while helping with a flood in the punjab

refused to ally herself with any government, repeatedly

“the lasso compels truth, but it can’t stop mansplaining”

feel free to add because this woman is fucking golden

Update! Luigi's Attorney Dickey confirms that his "outburst" where he tells the cameras that this is unjust, was because he was never read his miranda rights and was under the impression at that time that he was being denied the right to a fair trial, an attorney, or any legal representation.

He is angry and terrified in that footage because they have failed to follow basic procedure to inform him that he has any rights at all. This is a major red flag of police corruption. This is UNACCEPTABLE and further means any interrogation they did of him is unlawful, and inadmissible in court.

Baby Bi, Bi, Bi

Im reading the Ahsoka novel and there is an Anakin flashback chapter where Anakin is thinking about how he has so many conflicting promises and commitments and then it lists, in order 1. Commitment to the Jedi 2. His marriage to Padme, and, 3. His “unspoken but no less important commitment to Obi-Wan” lmao … Ah yes the 3 things in life to be mindful of. Your cult, your wife, and your second, more terrible wife. Your wife and your Taller Wife

some sort of love poem

Okay okay okay - the first time Anakin hears Padmé make a sex joke? Mind boggling. The first time he realizes Obi-Wan makes sex jokes all the time? Like every day? At least once, maybe twice? Complete with eyebrow waggle and swishy hair and a smirk? Do not pity Obi-Wan's experience.

…so does this mean that on one of their Clone Wars missions, at some point Obi-Wan makes his twelve-millionth dopey “thinking with your lightsaber”-style joke and Anakin is (FINALLY) suddenly all ????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXCUSE YOU, THINKING WITH MY WHAT?! YOU DON’T MEAN, OH MY GOD YES YOU DO OH MY STARS OBI-WAN! 

It’s even funnier if Ahsoka’s there and, being a teenager and therefore well-versed in dumb dirty jokes, she’s like, “Um…he makes those kinds of jokes…ALL the time, Master?! Are you new here?” and Anakin is like NO SNIPS STOP LISTENING HOW COULD YOU OBI-WAN SHE IS INNOCENT.