Malcolm Nodding ‘as You Were’ To A Random Crew Member Right Before Hayes Jumps Onto His Back From

me: *accidentally hits tom nook’s tent with my shovel*

tom nook, inside, shaking: w h a t  t h e  f u c k

went on a long walk outside the other day and i carry acorns with me for the express purpose of feeding squirrels and on the way back a squirrel bounded up to me and stopped in front of me waiting for an acorn. 10/10 would recommend taking walks and feeding squirrels, watching them eat them is also adorable.

me: you know goosebumps?  skin go be like porcupine (arg) and helps keep you warm.  and skin is just so nice, you know?  keeps everything inside.  nothing can get out unless my skin opens up.

my mom: i asked you about possible vacation spots

I have done it. Vine boom for every slap

“Are you really watching Good Omens for the third time in three days?” It’s called COPING and DOING MY PART to help my COMMUNITY

i know people like to stick their feet in water and stuff but out of everything to meaninglessly stick my feet into i think i'd prefer paint

pspspsps come collect ur bot slayer badge

ah yes, angels and demons, my two favorite genders

i still can't fucking find it. i look out every night, searching. i think it's gone??? i'm gonna cry. please give it back.

i promise i won't be mad with you, okay? i know one of you took the moon, it's fine, just give it back.