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Why do I cheat on my partner so easily in a dream?

Have you ever noticed in a dream you can cheat on your partner without having even a shadow of a doubt it’s the right decision? Well, it is definitely not your unfaithful nature; it is all about our brain’s workings, especially some parts of it which we are going to examine here.

The Frontal Cortex

The Frontal Cortex is located at the very front of the brain and is responsible for not only long-term planning, decision making, knowledge analysis and regulation of emotions, but also for social behavior control. This means that the frontal cortex prevents different types of inappropriate behavior, such as aggression, desires to steal, compulsivity and sexually assaultive behavior. As a result, damage to this lobe might cause, for example, a complete lack of interest in sex or, contrastively, more active sexual behavior. So why does this matter in terms of sleeping?

The Sleep Cycle

Our sleep cycle consists of two main stages: non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep and rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. During the latter stage, our body experiences temporal muscle paralysis and, more interestingly, — dreams (if you don’t have any brain damage that could lead to dream loss). The question about the purpose of dreams is still in dispute, but there is a clear answer at why they are ridiculously illogical sometimes:

during REM sleep, the frontal lobe is “turned-off” affecting our social behavior in a dream

There is also a range of research supporting this statement. For example, in one experiment, scientists activated the frontal lobe of the participants during REM sleep and noticed that such stimulation “induces self-reflective awareness in dreams”. In other words, you act more appropriately and logically as your frontal cortex is stimulated while sleeping:

Recent findings link fronto-temporal gamma electroencephalographic (EEG) activity to conscious awareness in dreams, but a causal relationship has not yet been established. We found that current stimulation in the lower gamma band during REM sleep influences ongoing brain activity and induces self-reflective awareness in dreams. Other stimulation frequencies were not effective, suggesting that higher order consciousness is indeed related to synchronous oscillations around 25 and 40 Hz.

Noticeable effects on dreams

As you can imagine, this temporal “shutdown” of the frontal cortex has a huge impact on our social behavior in a dream: from aggressive conversations to having sex with your partner’s best friend. Don’t feel guilty; it’s just your brain! What about moments when you act consciously in a dream and do things with full awareness of your actions?

Lucid Sleep

Lucid sleep is a sleep during which you are aware of dreaming while dreaming (apologies for the tautology). Recent studies suggest that this phenomenon occurs due to “increased brain activity over frontal regions during REM sleep”. However, other researchers analyze it through the states of consciousness theory. These two points of view are not interchangeable but complementary.

Now let’s look more closely at different states of consciousness:

- Primary states of consciousness — states in which dreams “are concerned with the immediate present, with only uncontrolled access to the past or the anticipated future”

- Secondary states of consciousness — states in which people are able to manipulate with “higher order cognitive functions such as self-reflective awareness, abstract thinking, volition and metacognition”. In the case of sleeping, this mode is “turned-on” after awaking

So, when both states coexist together, a person experiences a lucid dream. It is like being simultaneously asleep and awake! What is more, humans are most likely the only species able to experience such a thing.

Source: Anastasiia (Medium). Image: Katherine Streeter for NPR.

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rape

do you know what no means?

i was begging you please don’t…

but that won’t stop you,

you’ll do what you want to,

leaving me mentally and physically bruised.

forever feeling empty and abused.

you refused to admit you’d done wrong,

and it’s been so long.

but it’s still on my mind.

all the time.

like a song stuck in my head.

you are my sad song that makes me wish i was dead.

i never want to get out of bed,

afraid to be seen,

i don’t wanna be heard.

you took what was mine,

left me destroyed,

and walked away fine.

—z.k.g

( via: @shrinking-addiction )

“He saw her before he saw anything else in the room.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald