Laugh Tumbles Out Of Him Again, Continuously, Even As He's Hit By That Chaos Energy And Sent Spinning

@maaskuline

he was new to the whole G.U.N business; not exactly a greenhorn, but a little wet behind the ears. still, julius had just turned 24, and was slowly trying to make his way up the ranks of G.U.N's frankly bizarre 'status' system. it was infuriatingly annoying trying to navigate what exactly he was supposed to do or say in order to impress enough to be risen up a rank.

julius stood at 6'3", trying not to slouch as much nowdays but couldn't help it. he also struggled with eye contact, primarily because everybody here always looked so serious. did his best to emulate them, not wanting to tarnish G.U.N's name or reputation while out and about in the field or while on missions. though, lately, julius had been noting that G.U.N's methods were... er, different than what he had expected of a military's to be.

his thought was that their job was to protect the people of earth first and foremost, and then the planet itself. G.U.N's higher ups, however, felt it was more important to keep the shareholders & those that helped fund the military happy and pleased. which meant following government orders & working so closely together with them. julius hadn't enjoyed that.

he also hadn't enjoyed his own work being passed over or looked down upon. what was so wrong with building machines with the intent to help people? to help enrich the planet; to shield nature and revitalize it? didn't these people realize that earth's resources and it's nature were finite if they weren't careful with it??

a sigh huffed from julius, as he pushed his hair back and his bangs fell against his eyes again. he should probably look into cutting his bangs, that or slicking his hair back somehow. wouldn't do him any good to be caught unawares by something just because he couldn't see past his own bangs.

"maybe i should just quit..." it's muttered, mostly to himself, turning to head into the break room that G.U.N used for it's lower-ranked soldiers. the higher ups had their own wing/unit and quarters. julius'd even heard talk of some high ranking G.U.N members having their own bedrooms / mini-apartments around certain bases--

not paying attention, julius nearly slams into someone that was leaving, "sorry," he starts, then glances up and stills. he's looking down at probably one of the most muscular men he's seen in a while, since he'd quit the gay club. jesus, those arms. no focus julius.

"....are you new here?"

the silence was strangling. felt like it had a vice grip on his throat, threatening to close up his windpipe. great job being quiet, julius, you stupid piece of shit⸻ say something. SAY SOMETHING, FUCKING TALK⸻

"......i'm," his fingers shift, and he moves to rub a hand along the side of his own neck, not looking at stone as he says this, "i'm sorry you never got to tell ivo," that felt strange to say, "the things you wanted to." he felt jealousy nip in his chest and knew that was irrational and stupid. he barely knew stone after all. & clearly they were both lonely from, everything either of them had gone through. but julius wanted to throw caution to the wind and let himself feel jealous, want stone, want, want⸻ he always wanted but never knew how or if he should sate that wanting. if he had the right to.

what had stone called it? marinating? just marinating, coasting through life, he supposed. doing what he felt he had to. a death without dying.

he exhaled, not sure he had it in him to explain more. there was so much more he felt he wanted to say, it was conflicting. he was scared that if he didn't now, the opportunity might never present itself again. he wondered if that itself was irrational, or maybe stupid, or naive. too emotional, too sensitive. he also couldn't stand the silence. wanted to speak with stone, but didn't know how. was he afraid of judgment? rejection? stone recoiling?

was he scared more, maybe, of stone stepping forward to meet him, and accepting it? what would that mean? to be seen, accepted, wanted not in spite of his ugliness or his horrors or his darkness but because of it.

"...i want," he swallowed, inhaled shortly, exhaled, and finally looked at stone again, "i want to tell you. i do. i just... i don't know how. no one's, ever bothered to ask, before. to want to know," he isn't sure how to express that, so he, he just lays a palm against his own chest. as if to silently say 'to know me', all of him.

stone knew by the silence that seemingly yet again he'd said the wrong thing, and a small part of him was starting to grow irritated at that fact. he tries to do his best to listen and be reassuring but it's perceived as anything but, and he practically has to stop himself from letting out a frustrated sigh at the entire scenario.

he knew very well when to pick and choose his battles, and right now his annoyance was not needed nor welcomed.

so instead of speaking and potentially further souring things between them he just stands there, arms resting loosely over his chest as he watches julius stand up. there really wasn't much in the way of anything that he could say to the man, it seemed.

"My actions speak for themselves." What they say is a series of clunking hisses from where he's punched through a steam pipe in order to 'fix' a leak.

he's wordlessly staring at the destroyed pipe. eyebrows pinch together and his gaze narrowed behind sunglasses. seems to be weighing his options on whether he wants to deal with whatever moronic conversation will stem from this.

a heavy weighted sigh that bleeds into his words, sounding deadpanned and tired, "do i want to know what the fuck inspired you to try and fix this instead of calling an actual service."

why are you so damned sensitive⸻

⸻you just marinate⸻

damned sensitive⸻

⸻marinate

⸻

⸻

.....

"we are merely getting to know one another" distant, though through a haze, or muffled from underneath water. he blinks, but doesn't move. simply stands there, gaze looking a tad duller than it even did in his waking day to day. which was saying something, how detached he felt normally. "i.... i M SOROY- unkwo- somet-" he blinked, a hand moving to slam against the side of his own head, as if wanting to jostle himself out of whatever stupor or state he were in⸻ all it served to do was making that pounding in his head worse, but his hearing did come back to him somewhat.

lips. what had stone's lips said. he blinked, focusing on the movement he had just seen a few seconds ago. 'i am sorry' 'didn't mean to upset you'.

julius scoffs. gaze lowering away from stone. he shrugs briefly. "hardly something to get upset over." he could feel it, that churning sensation; like a rolling fire, stoking and trying to vault higher but he was pushing that down. no no no stop stop⸻

stone instinctively took a step back when he saw how quickly the man's demeanor had changed, though he knew ultimately if julius chose to attack him there wasn't really much that he could do. in a way he had been unknowingly provoking the man, it seemed, not that he had any real way of knowing.

whatever feeling of annoyance and boredom stone had previously felt was quickly replaced with dread, like his instincts were telling him to try and run and yet... he didn't. he just stood there, staring aimlessly at the man.

something was wrong, and stone was almost sure the man was currently experiencing some form of PTSD. he'd seen it firsthand during his time with G.U.N, and for a moment stone's expression softens before he hears the words the man uttered next, whatever sympathetic words of his own getting lost entirely.

"we are merely getting to know one another," stone replies as he refrains from moving further away from him, a bit of him on guard regardless if the man chose to suddenly snap. "I... I am sorry, if I unknowingly triggered something with what I was saying. I did not mean to upset you..."

im yearning about you and there is nothing you can do about it (threat)

⸻a snort of chuckle breaths through julius' lips at the other's response. he gives a slightly tight smile in silent response but doesn't comment elsewise. then he's being asked how he travelled here, "chaos energy. i've decided to take a little," he rolls his wrist, considering, "me time. do some travelling." & what better way to avoid the cacophony of shit that was his own universe, than jumping ship for a little while?

"I am bald, correct! would you like a gold star for stating the blatantly obvious, other me?" ivo grins, but his eyes narrowed soon after despite himself. "how did you get here? multiversal travel, I suspect?"

Linkin Park Lyric Starters

IN THE END

"It doesn't even matter how hard you try." "All I know, time is a valuable thing." "Watch the time go right out the window." "I wasted it all just to watch you go." "I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart." "It doesn't even matter how hard you try." "I'm surprised it got so far." "Things aren't the way they were before." "You wouldn't even recognize me anymore." "You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart." "I've put my trust in you." "For all this, there's only one thing you should know." "I tried so hard and got so far." "I had to fall to lose it all." "But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

NUMB

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be." "I don't know what you're expecting of me." "Can't you see that you're smothering me?" "'Cause everything that you thought I would be has fallen apart, right in front of you" "Every step that I take is another mistake to you." "And I know I may end up failing too." "I'm becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you." "I'm tired of being what you want me to be."

DON'T STAY

"Sometimes, I need to remember just to breathe." "Sometimes, I need you to stay away from me." "Somehow, I need you to go." "Forget our memories, forget our possibilities." "What you were changing me into?" "Take all your faithlessness with you." "Sometimes, I feel like I trusted you too well." "Sometimes, I just feel like screaming at myself." "Don't stay."

LOST

"I pretend it isn't there." "This is how I feel." "I'm trapped in yesterday." "I'm lost in these memories." "But I'm tired." "Lost all my dignity.' "I will always be afraid." "I try to keep this pain inside." "But I will never be alright." "I'm lost."

⸻how easy it was, put the GUN to his head.

a lifetime of FUCKING things up.

➯indie rp blog for JULIUS IVO ROBOTNIK. ➯cursed by MARKER (34 | he/they). ➯est on tumblr in 2025, written privately for years. ➯novella, asks, headcanons & meta galore. ➯↻ if interested in interaction! please read carrd (🔗 above).

"Robotnik will lead your squadron," their supervisor announced, lowering that page back onto the clipboard. he was about to turn away from them all, but julius stepped forward, clearing his throat,

"Sir, with respect, i-" he motioned over to stone, "erm, shouldn't Stone be leading the squadron. he's far more capable than i-"

"you've got rank and seniority, Robotnik."

"so?" julius said it without thought, and the supervisor seemed almost offended that julius dare question his decisions. "stone's got better experience in the field, and he's-"

"YOU are the leader, Robotnik."

julius' eyebrow twitched, and he exhaled, nodding.

"hey, don't sweat it jules," wolfe grinned, clasping a hand onto julius' arm. julius gave him a small, polite smile, "i trust you."

the others in the squadron all pat julius' shoulder, agreeing in their own ways. clearly trying to blow air under his sails, and he enjoyed their company, but he doubted their opinions. they hadn't seen how abysmal his files were on field work. he could gather samples and scout things, but actual physical missions that required sheer tact, understanding and know-how on leading?

was the room spinning? did he feel warmer? he felt a hand cupped at his face, then, and julius blinked, "julius, look at me," stone's voice. and julius did, glanced over at stone, staring down at him. stone smiled, "you can do this. and even if you think you can't, you can work at it until you improve."

stone always knew how to put things in a way that julius respected. he nodded, expecting stone to pull his hand away. stone's gloved hand lingered against his face, though. julius blinked, head lilting to the side a touch. what-?

stone's hand slipped away, and he gripped at julius' wrist, tugged him so that way julius began to walk alongside stone, "come on, i can run you through some basic potential field scenarios so you can study."

🕯️

send me 🕯️to hear my character's inner thoughts about your character.

imad. a pillar. he's... swiftly become everything that fuels me, and everything that terrifies me. what a horror: to have someone to lose. not again. never. again. i will protect him with every atom in my being. damn the consequences, damn the masses. i need HIM.

....i can only hope that i'm worthy.