Me: “I Can’t Be Autistic, I Don’t Have Sensory Issues.”

I hate this:

I don't know what's wrong. I can make as many lists. As many notes. As I possibly can but I'll never know what's wrong.

Is it the bpd? Did someone trigger some unknown trauma that's hidden deep? Did they say something that scared me?

Is it the autism? Am I just overstimulated? Am I hungry? Sleepy? Thirsty?

Is it the ADHD? What. Is. Wrong?

Sebastian Stan and Shailene Woodley in Endings, Beginnings (2019)

SEBASTIAN STAN behind the scenes of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014). Dir. by Anthony and Joe Russo

my main goal in life is genuinely just to have a good day

Neurotypical after a successful social interaction: That was fun, it was great to see them again!

Me after a successful social interaction: I made such a normal amount of eye contact. I deserve some cheese.

whenever i have a new hyperfixation, i suddenly need to know everything about it and own every piece of merchandise that has ever been created because its the only thing i can think or talk about.

i simply cannot like something in a “normal way”

Also my memory sucks so if I don’t have it in writing to go back and look at, I will forget everything that’s been said

Thank you @ The Autistic Teacher

Imagine having late night talks with Bucky Barnes…

“Hey, Bucky?” you turn on your side to face him.

“Yes, doll?”

“Are missions scary?” you wonder.

He tilts his head and shrugs, “Not really.”

“But what about all the scary guys with guns and those aliens?” your brows furrow.

“I’m used to it,” the corners of his lips curve upwards, “You’re dating an old, wise one-hundred-year-old man, Y/N.” He leans up to kiss your forehead, “I’ve seen the world.”

You huff, “Well then what are you afraid of?”

Bucky reaches his hand out to you. He caresses your cheek and moves your stray hairs behind your ear, “Losing you.”