Hi My Darlings, Sometimes I Gotta Cope With The Knowledge Of How Unlikely It Is That This Will Ever Happen

Long silky hair is the hottest, sexiest and most incredible sneeze induction of all time and I'll die on this hill. Bonus points if they're woven with flowers though.

Who wants to be my fairy roommate 👉👈

Side-effects of getting a fairy roommate: turns out a really high proportion of the human population is allergic to fairy dust, so it's kind of like owning a cat but with more social awkwardness.

Okay you freaks it's with IMMENSE pleasure that I see that the vast majority of you is an inducer, so let's go with a follow-up question:

💖DATE IDEA!💖

We're heading to the spot on a motorcycle, and you're the one driving.

For the occasion, you put on your best perfume, but unfortunately I'm terribly sensitive to it and I can't help but breathe it in as I hold on to you.

You can feel my breath, hitched and thick with congestion, increasing next to your ear, becoming heavier and heavier as I desperately try to resist, but it's no use.

I constantly sniffle and even wipe my cold wet nose on your shoulder but the itch is too much and I begin to sneeze, sometimes away and other times right on your back.

My chest is trembling and my nose is red, and I try to tell you the problem but unfortunately all of your hair is flying right into my face, preventing me to speak and also tickling my nose senseless, forcing in even more fragrance. I whimper and let out another powerful sneeze onto your nape.

By the time we arrive I'm quivering and barely able to breathe from my nose, hugging to you and weakly thanking you for finally stopping.

☐ YES ☐ NO

(PleasepleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE say yes >//<)

Bursts or insanity always come at late hours so here's a question for all of the wonderful men-loving freaks:

This may sound weird but bear with me

The terms "kink" and "fetish" are often used interchangeably, but I'm sure many of you know their huge difference which is

A not inherently sexual detail and/or action that, when paired with normal sexual activity, makes the whole experience even whole arousing for kinks, versus

A not inherently sexual detail and/or action that, BY ITSELF, is enough to sexually arouse someone for fetishes!!

All that to say that when I see people fawning over, I dunno, characters sniffling, stifling their sneezes, blowing their nose etc, I really think those are instances of a snz fetish because 90% of the time it's caused by the sun, dust, or other similarly environmental causes. Or maybe even cats/pets, for which I won't express myself

And me, who I recently learned to have a snz kink, am there like "Yeah, this would be kinda hot if the sneeze was caused by someone gorgeous teasingly triggering their sneeze, but how tf am I going to simp just for the ALLERGENS??" XD

So yeah, more hot inducers please and thanks for coming to my TedTalk

Yo who wants to hide with me in an uncomfortably tight space and have something that constantly tickles my nose while I breathe heavily and sniffle right besides your ear, risking to give away our position any second? No wait come on it'll be fun-

This, simply

💖 THIS 💖

(more nsfw below)

you know the perfume you’re wearing makes them itchy, but it’s not quite enough to coax out a sneeze and that’s exactly why you’re wearing it. you made sure to run it through your hair and rub it into your neck just for this occasion. you’re riding them. burying your face in their neck and making sure your hair lays across their face, making them breathe in your carefully chosen scent.

their harsh breaths start to catch on the mess building in their nose and their moans become thick with congestion. it’s not long before the sounds coming from their mouth become laced with hitches and laboured breathing.

“hh-hih! hiihh- guhhh…” the tickle subsides, just as you had planned. you know teasing their nose turns both of you on.

“tell me how it feels, baby.” you whisper into their ear, making sure your hair continues whisking around their face and poking their nostrils.

“haahh.. it-it-hh it tickles.”

“show me where.”

they remove their hands from your hips and trace their sinuses up to the bridge of their nose. “all through here. it burns. i want tohh! hihh- hahh! sneeze.”

“why don’t you sneeze then, baby?” you feign confusion, all the while continuing to ride them, eating up their delicious moans and hitches.

“iihh want to.” they grab your hair and press it into their face, breathing in deeply, only to set off another series of hitching, desperate gasps with no happy ending. “i want to so bad. please help me.”

“what if i did… this.” you grab a small piece of your hair and trace their flaring, red nostrils, just barely teasing the inside of their nose. the reaction is immediate and strong. if you keep going they will sneeze. so you stop, pinching their nose shut and letting the mess wet your fingers.

“hih! hih-hih! pl-please! put it back in.” they grab at your hair desperately, trying to put it back in their nose with hands shaking from both pleasure and the burning need to sneeze.

“ah, ah, ah. only i’m allowed to do that.” you grab the stands of hair from their hand and insert them into their nose. “i’m feeling generous today. let’s get those sneezes out of your poor nose.”

“oh-! oh my-hh-hih! hih! hih! i’m going to sn-ihHTTchhiu! tchu!tchu!chu’chu-tch’chu!” you grind down on them with each sneeze and hitch, bringing their body closer to the relief their nose is getting with every sneeze and thrust.

Their sneezing subsides and so does your movement. They whimper and grip your hips as you take the hair back to their nostrils. You’re both going to have fun tonight.

I'm not the kind of person who wants to psychoanalyze everything (sike I am) but I couldn't help but notice some correlations between the act of sneezing and male stimulation (since I SEEM to notice that men are the most frequent subject of induction, but correct me if I'm wrong, and obviously it also applies to women)

- If you think about it, it's all about stimulating a protuding, sensitive organ

- Causing it to move, contract and cause sharp reactions to the person receiving it

- With the release of various fluids

- And in the end a big, final outburst of fluid which also causes a large release of endorphins (no, really LOL)

That without counting every time I've read about someone wanting to "tickle to submission" a nose that is considered attractive because it's VERY BIG, with either it or the sinuses described with terms like THROBBING. Top it off with the obvious power dynamic in act between inducer and sneezer and I think I've said everything that needs to be said - obviously I'm not saying this is the truth so if you agree or think otherwise, don't hesitate to tell I'm eager to know about your experiences and opinions~❤️